Got My Date...

kvandeman

The surgeon's office just called and I am now scheduled for my RNY on July 16th. I am nervous and excited.

I called my husband to let him know and he is not thrilled. I think, actually pretty much know, that he was hoping that I would get denied by insurance and that this whole weight loss thing was going to go away. This hurts. I don't know how else to say it. It hurts. I know he is scared of the surgery and how it will change his life. One of the first comments that he made when I told him I wanted to do this was to the effect that we can't go out and eat anymore. I told him that that was not true that I can get something smaller and/or share with the kids. It's not like they finish their food anyway. I just want him to be supportive. Is that too much to ask for?

I don't plan on leaving my husband just because I lose weight. I think he is scared of that. I know that he loves me the way that I am. I know that if he lost weight I wouldn't love him less or more. His weight nor mine do not determine our love for each other. I don't want to run off with one of the guys from the "Friday Eye Candy" thread. I wouldn't know what to do with them anyway.

My husband could stand to lose a few pounds but that is his decision. I will not push nor prod him. He has to come to the decision himself. I will support him no matter what he does. I just wish that he would support me too.

Sorry for the rant.

teresa7926

Congratulations on the date.

I know that when I got my date, my best friend of 40 yrs, was not thrilled with my choice. During a very honest conversation during my "last meal" yesterday, her fear was finally verbalized. She is even more overweight than I am and we were partners in eating. She didn't want to be by herself. During our day together, we had some real honest conversation. Now I know its not the same as a husband. It may help for him to talk to spouses of other women who have been successful in their journey.

Wish you all the best.

13turtles

Hope this helps...my husband, who is also very overweight like I was, was nervous about the surgery. He knew that it would change things as I cook most of the food and now eat minuscule amounts. He was also concerned about side effects and how I would do post surgery. It is a life changing experience, but it doesn't have to be bad. I know that you are hoping for support, but remember part of him is just hoping that you make it through okay. My husband said all sorts of things out of being nervous for me, and not truly because he didn't want me to be successful or have a better life. I can't promise that this is what he is feeling, but try not to be too disappointed and just focus on what you are trying to accomplish with this surgery.

For us, eating out has changed, but he's no longer complaining. He typically orders whatever he wants, I take a small portion of his protein, and we're done. I am less picky about where we eat, when we do eat out since I know that I will only be eating a few bites of protein. More often than not, I opt for a side of stemmed veggies with no butter/sauce/anything, and have him add a skewer of grilled shrimp to his order. I NEVER finish anything when we eat out. We have found a new system, and it does work. Most of the time now, no one even notices how much food I have, or what I actually ate. It works.

Good luck to you!

kvandeman

Turtles, I know that that is part of what is bothering my husband. We talked a bit and he is still "letting" me go through with it. He said that he will support me in whatever I want to do. I plan on sharing with the kids when we go out since they never finish their food anyway. I figure our food budget will shrink and he will have more money for his "toys". So it will be a win win situation. Gotta look on the bright side right?