A perfectly awful perfect swim
rosebarnalice
Posts: 3,488 Member
So here's a primer on how to have a perfectly awful perfect swim:
1. Be in a hurry. Have somewhere to be at precisely 30 minutes after you get out of the pool so that you are completely focused on getting in and out as efficiently as possible.
2. Be angry. Be so mad at some ONE or some THING that, as you rush rush rush to get out of your street clothes and into your suit, you SLAM your locker shut quite forcefully and loudly (because you're also in a hurry, remember?)
3. Realize your key is in your locker at the precise moment you hear the locker slam-- which you usually pin to your person before hitting the water-- is safely locked up inside the locker.
4. Mutter a few obscenities and consider your options.
5. Decide to swim anyway because you're already changed and if you called the campus lock shop RIGHT NOW to bring the bolt cutters, they won't be there for another hour, so you might as well just get in the water.
6. Swim angry (see #2) and that means swimming HARD. Lose track of your lap count. Mutter to yourself underwater about that thing you're mad about AND now about having to wait on the locksmith to cut into your locker when you get out of the water AND now because you're going to be late to that thing that you were in a hurry about (see #1).
7. look up at the clock and realize you've been in the water about 10 minutes longer than your regular swim.
8. Use the pool office phone to call the campus locksmith.
9. Sit in a chair outside the women's locker room in all your fat, red-faced swim-suited glory -- waiting for the locksmith and try not to make eye contact with too many of the football players who parade past on their way to a team meeting.
10. Greet the locksmith, holler into the locker room to see if he can come in, and show him to your locker.
11. After he leaves, FINALLY, take a shower, put on your street clothes and leave.
12. Make a quick trip to the local hardware store for a replacement lock, and swing back by the gym to put it on before you head to that thing you are now resigned to be late to.
13. Recheck your calendar for directions to the thing, that you're now almost an hour late for, and realize that it was only a recommended thing and not a required thing, decide to take the consequences for not showing up, and instead go home.
14. Get home and realize you're not angry any more AND you just had your longest and hardest workout of the last 4 weeks!
15. Write all this on a post on MFP so that others can laugh --and so can you--and then let it go.
1. Be in a hurry. Have somewhere to be at precisely 30 minutes after you get out of the pool so that you are completely focused on getting in and out as efficiently as possible.
2. Be angry. Be so mad at some ONE or some THING that, as you rush rush rush to get out of your street clothes and into your suit, you SLAM your locker shut quite forcefully and loudly (because you're also in a hurry, remember?)
3. Realize your key is in your locker at the precise moment you hear the locker slam-- which you usually pin to your person before hitting the water-- is safely locked up inside the locker.
4. Mutter a few obscenities and consider your options.
5. Decide to swim anyway because you're already changed and if you called the campus lock shop RIGHT NOW to bring the bolt cutters, they won't be there for another hour, so you might as well just get in the water.
6. Swim angry (see #2) and that means swimming HARD. Lose track of your lap count. Mutter to yourself underwater about that thing you're mad about AND now about having to wait on the locksmith to cut into your locker when you get out of the water AND now because you're going to be late to that thing that you were in a hurry about (see #1).
7. look up at the clock and realize you've been in the water about 10 minutes longer than your regular swim.
8. Use the pool office phone to call the campus locksmith.
9. Sit in a chair outside the women's locker room in all your fat, red-faced swim-suited glory -- waiting for the locksmith and try not to make eye contact with too many of the football players who parade past on their way to a team meeting.
10. Greet the locksmith, holler into the locker room to see if he can come in, and show him to your locker.
11. After he leaves, FINALLY, take a shower, put on your street clothes and leave.
12. Make a quick trip to the local hardware store for a replacement lock, and swing back by the gym to put it on before you head to that thing you are now resigned to be late to.
13. Recheck your calendar for directions to the thing, that you're now almost an hour late for, and realize that it was only a recommended thing and not a required thing, decide to take the consequences for not showing up, and instead go home.
14. Get home and realize you're not angry any more AND you just had your longest and hardest workout of the last 4 weeks!
15. Write all this on a post on MFP so that others can laugh --and so can you--and then let it go.
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Replies
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Go Girl0
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Way to work out your anger!
Did you buy a combination lock this time?
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Lol, oh dear. Is it worth pointing out that in our swimming lockers, they are locked manually by a key that you fasten around your wrist? It's not possible to lock the key inside the locker. Maybe consider a lock that you have to turn with the key to lock, so that you can't lock your keys inside it?0
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Hahahahaha!
What a day! Wow!0 -
Yikes! I have had days sort of like that but yours was truly epic! It DID make me laugh and I appreciate you sharing it.
I keep my key attached to my swimming gear bag with a clip so it automatically comes out to the pool with me but I live in fear of locking it in there anyway. I had to give up on combination locks because I can't see them without my glasses, which go in the locker.0 -
mpeters1965 wrote: »I keep my key attached to my swimming gear bag with a clip so it automatically comes out to the pool with me but I live in fear of locking it in there anyway. I had to give up on combination locks because I can't see them without my glasses, which go in the locker.
The glasses thing combined with post-menopausal lady memory thing is why I had to give up on combination locks (AND why I knew who to call and just how long it would take the guys with the bolt cutters to arrive. This wasn''t my first rodeo! )
For the good of the order, I will share that I solved the problem by putting on a new key lock with THREE keys: #1 is on my keyring (to get IN to the locker upon arrival); #2 is on my shower basket, which I take up to the pool with me while I swim and will get me back into the locker when I'm done; and #3 I gave to the pool manager to stow in the back of a drawer in the office clearly labelled with my name and locker number just in case the unthinkable happens again!
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Triple redundancy!
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