Ranting about naysayers
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When my mom was going through some depressing money troubles, I offered to let her come live with me which would have helped in NUMEROUS ways. 1) she could pay off her creditors, 2) she wouldn't have to pay rent or utilities, 3) she would not be alone, 4) we could get her involved in some activities, and 5) I could "fix" her diet (not something I mentioned to her, but I hoped for) Even before I was LC I ate better than she does.
But she refused. Apparently, in the state she lives in, creditors cannot touch her income since it is from a state retirement plan. (And every lawyer she spoke to told her not to file bankruptcy, but just stop paying them as there is nothing they can do! How ridiculous is that? Way to be responsible! Rack up the debt, then just stop paying. My father must be spinning in his grave!)
Anyway, her diet just keeps getting worse, she sits in her chair and watches TV all day and night, and she is always calling my sister to come over and "help" her with things (But my sis is deathly allergic to Mom's dog!). It's like my mom just can't see the s*** piling up in her life that would have been reduced if she had just come to live with me. Rant over.0 -
The "blue zones" guy was on NPR yesterday pimping his new book, and he talked about the moai of Okinawa. A life-long social network that had a bigger influence on health and longevity than any aspect of diet:
http://nooga.com/155096/build-a-moai-for-better-relationships-longer-life/
The main factor is that somebody always has your back and checks up on you if you don't show up at the usual hangout, but it's also about the idea of contagious behavior -- the biggest influence on your behaviors, good or bad, are the people you hang out with.
That's why I like to hang out here.
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MimiOfTheLusciousLawn wrote: »So... after a solid 4 days with these people, several negative comments that have been ignored, continuing to unapologetically eat the way I do (and boasting about the amazing 6# loss I managed this week, on vacation no less!), there may be a glimmer of hope. Yesterday at lunch one of the bigger naysayers ordered a bunless burger for lunch. BOOM, biotch!!MimiOfTheLusciousLawn wrote: »So... after a solid 4 days with these people, several negative comments that have been ignored, continuing to unapologetically eat the way I do (and boasting about the amazing 6# loss I managed this week, on vacation no less!), there may be a glimmer of hope. Yesterday at lunch one of the bigger naysayers ordered a bunless burger for lunch. BOOM, biotch!!
LMAO...way to be a shining example!
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The carb addiction is what gets me. Once I slip, I'm normally down for at least a few days, normally a month or so. Anxiety is back in full form, joints are aching, having heartburn and nausea...but still so hard to kick the carbage.0
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The "blue zones" guy was on NPR yesterday pimping his new book, and he talked about the moai of Okinawa. A life-long social network that had a bigger influence on health and longevity than any aspect of diet:
http://nooga.com/155096/build-a-moai-for-better-relationships-longer-life/
The main factor is that somebody always has your back and checks up on you if you don't show up at the usual hangout, but it's also about the idea of contagious behavior -- the biggest influence on your behaviors, good or bad, are the people you hang out with.
That's why I like to hang out here.
The value of a real community is something I've been learning recently. As much as I love my online communities, there really is no substitute for having your own real life "village." I think it's something modern Western society has lost sight of in its relentless pursuit of independence and self-sufficiency and in general doing everything on your own.0 -
KittensMaster wrote: »I was inspired as my dad died of congestive heart failure. He drank and smoked as a diabetic, terrible diet and it killed him.
I have a profound respect for diabetes and snapped hard into action and reversed my type 2 and lost 130 lbs.
This. My Dad, and 8 of his siblings, have type 2 diabetes. My Dad has severe heart trouble going to hospital about once every 3 months with a heart attack. He's had several strokes. He's also had a quadruple bypass about 15 years ago but did not take that opportunity to change his diet and lifestyle. Now at 65 he can't even walk to the letterbox and back. He can't have any more surgery as diabetes has turned his arteries into strings of pearls (thick and thin bits). He's on several different medications all with horrible side effects. The hard reality is that he will not go on like this for many more years.
He tries to eat low carb but struggles on his income, and he will always revert back to a bread based diet.
I am NOT going to die young from diabetes complications. It's just not going to happen. He was 50 when he had his first heart attack - the damage from diabetes already done, I'm 41 now. I refuse to accept that is my fate. When I see people sitting there tucking into cake or pizza or a great big bowl of pasta I don't think "I wish I could have some". I see diabetes, plain and simple.
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Until ALL of the doctors, PA's...change their dietary beliefs there will be naysayers. It is so hard to watch! I truly hope that the new dietary recommendations, due this year, help create the paradigm shift that is needed to help people realize what they are doing to themselves (I hope). I check out other people's shopping carts and just inwardly cringe. The SAD woe has killed many people, and they never realized.0
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I generally don't talk to people regarding my changed diet beyond saying I've given up wheat. I don't feel like I have enough experience to try to convince people that this is the way to go. That said, I can't believe how different I feel. I've been doing this since Aug 4. My anxiety is gone. My attitude has improved. I have more energy and feel very positive. If that wasn't enough I've also lost 8 lbs. I'm absolutely gleeful.
I really like this group. No trolls, lots of encouragement and great ideas. Thank you all.
I don't see my MD until Oct. We'll see what she has to say. She encouraged me to lose weight (30 lbs) and said the South Beach Diet was fine. I was surprised. I am unfamiliar with the ins and outs of SB but I have the impression that its an Atkins variation.
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@NewSue52, it's best not to try to talk to others about this woe until you feel comfortable with it yourself. I am so happy with your progress! Your doctor will be happy with your accomplishments by October, for sure!
This is an amazing group of people who have been highly instrumental in my continued success! So glad you are here!
I look forward to seeing your continued success! 0 -
Sunny_Bunny_ wrote: »Have you watched Fathead? You can find it on YouTube. That might give you some quick things to reference. Though you wouldn't want to specifically say you learned all about this from some documentary. But you could say "Look, I have done a lot of reading. I am in contact with lots of people that have improved their health eating this way. I don't want to spend our time debating diets but if you are interested in a quick way to learn why this WOE is so beneficial you can check out the movie Fathead on YouTube. Until you do the research that I have done, I am not interested in a debate or advise. I won't push my preferences on you either".
Besides that, I always like throwing around a few big words they are sure to be unfamiliar with. That usually demonstrates you have done your homework. In response to you NEED carbs to live. Your response could be "Actually, you're right. The human body does require a small amount of carbs each day, which is why the body is capable of aquiring them through a process called gluconeogenesis. You don't have to consume carbs to get the glucose that the brain needs to function." If you start to sound super geeky about the science, most people will get immediately bored but they also start to think that you might just know something after all and stop thinking you are just on some fad diet.
I would try to refrain from "shaming carbs" in general because you will likely just get guilt fueled defensiveness in response. Saying things like "The science behind the way the body uses insulin to burn and store carbohydrate is very interesting and understanding that process and how it can become damaged with consistent overconsumption of carbohydrates explains why such a large portion of our society now suffers from so many chronic inflammation related and metabolic conditions." I don't know how anyone, not talking out their bum, could still think you don't know what you're talking about after making these comments.
Best of luck to ya!
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Here's the way the convo usually goes...
Them: How are you losing weight?
Me: Science.
Them: I'm sorry?
Me: Science.
Them: Ok.
And then we talk about something else, because most aren't going to understand WLS or keto and I don't feel like wasting time telling them stuff they aren't ready to hear. When they come back and say, "Can you explain the science to me?" I'll explain both WLS and keto. I've also discovered a "bless your heart" works wonders here in the South, because pretty much everyone know that means "you're stupid" or "f off" or some of both.
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I read a book about sugar addiction and curing yourself if it. I thought it was quite extream to start with before gradually realising it was me. I knew I had a problem with sugar but I thought I would be ok as long as I was aware. I'm not. The book deals with addiction very much like aa with 10 steps, the first is truly accepting you have a problem. If these relatives were addicted to alcohol and you told them they needed to go to aa and they said there was no problem you would accept they were in denial. That is their problem. They have not reached that critical point. If you continue to show a good example may be they will get there.0
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My MIL is type 2 diabetic who has recently started on insulin in addition to oral meds. I told her about how low carb could help, only to be shot down with "the nurse told me I had to eat bread, pasta and rice." Until the medical profession catches up we are fighting a losing battle.
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I've also discovered a "bless your heart" works wonders here in the South, because pretty much everyone know that means "you're stupid" or "f off" or some of both.
LOL Really?
I'm up in Canada, and a "bless your heart" means thanks for the effort or help, even if it didn't help.
I really understand the resistance. I had it, and i have a fear of falling off the wagon because it took me so long to get back.
About 5 years ago, I lost my weight following the Eat Clean Diet - I basically ate no processed foods = very few carbs. I felt great, and then I had the muffin.... I swear my diet fell apart after that and I slowly started to regain my weight. During that time I found out I had celiac disease and a wussy thyroid; I changed my diet and got on meds. I was put on steroids for a time, and by time I weaned off of them I was prediabetic and had gained back all of my old weight. That was a year ago.
I kept starting to change my diet but I was easing into it and it would fall apart within a couple of weeks. I couldn't or wouldn't fully commit. I needed to get worse before I could really change my ways because it felt like I was giving something up. That physical, dizzy need for sugars seemed like too much to fight for a lifetime.
Finally I developed sudden onset OA in my hips and knees... by age 40. That along with the prediabetes was enough for me to make a big change to a ketogenic diet. After two weeks I felt so good it was baffling that I hadn't done it earlier.
And it was easy to lose weight. My deficit should have me losing 1lb per week but it is usually 2lbs. If this keeps up, I'll have lost 45 lbs by February and be at my high school weight again.
I am honestly a bit afraid to slip. When I eat too many carbs (for me, it's over 50g) my fasting blood glucose is back into the prediabetic range. I don't want my knee pain back. I don't want all of the pimples back. I don't want my reactive hypoglycemia back. And I really don't want my brain fogginess back... I didn't even realize I was foggy until my husband commented that I seem sharper lately. He said in the past year, I would be talking but use the wrong word in a sentence - that's freaking scary. I'm only 41.
I'm afraid to slip because I am afraid it will take me years to get back to this because of that resistance and denial. Yikes.0 -
My SIL is severely overweight, diabetic, & now is seeing a stroke specialist & cardiologist. She refuses to listen to any of her doctors & tells me she can eat all the carbs she likes because that's what the insulin is for. She just keeps messing with her dosage & refuses to change her diet in any way, shape, or form. Low carb is a "dangerous fad" ! She claims her friend (an RN) told her the human body isn't designed for LCHF. I thought seeing my health improvements would at least make her question this, but she just keeps telling me how I'm going to end up hospitalized. I'll just keep plugging along & hopefully she'll be ready to learn more soon.0
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I have mastered Advanced Sarcasm, so between tone, body language, and facial expression, there's really no question as to my meaning. When I visit Canada, I will remember that phrase doesn't mean what I think it means, at least up there!0 -
GaleHawkins wrote: »Perhaps carb addiction issue is at play in some of these extreme examples?
Last year for pain management I was really considering letting the doctors put be on Enbrel knowing full well the real risk of cancer from doing so. I wanted to try adding coconut oil and removing sugar and all grain from my diet to manage my pain level. After two months I still was eating food containing sugar and grains because I really could not taper off of them. Then I went off of them cold turkey and 30 days later had my pain managed.
I expect most people are not even aware of addiction to carbs is even possible. There was no hope for me after 40 years of abusing carbs until I understood I was an addict in denial.
When I read Atkins book 10 years ago I knew that I could never sustain the dietary changes he specified.
I do them now. I think the difference is coming to the realization that without those changes, the only other solutions involve drugs & doctors. No thank-you!
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Sorry, but the phrase, "Bless your/her/his/its heart" isn't always used as an insult in the south. I was born, and raised, and still am, in extreme south Mississippi. I personally use the phrase to display empathy. Please don't assume it's always used in a negative way! 0
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Sorry, but the phrase, "Bless your/her/his/its heart" isn't always used as an insult in the south. I was born, and raised, and still am, in extreme south Mississippi. I personally use the phrase to display empathy. Please don't assume it's always used in a negative way!
Will do. Now I need to teach you all how to use "eh?" in a sentence.
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Sorry, but the phrase, "Bless your/her/his/its heart" isn't always used as an insult in the south. I was born, and raised, and still am, in extreme south Mississippi. I personally use the phrase to display empathy. Please don't assume it's always used in a negative way!
Yep. It's a multipurpose phrase. It's all about context and tone.0
