How to approach "but you're losing so much now you won't even need surgery!"

creepykbear

So, I've been pretty open telling people I'm having WLS in January. I'm close to 60 lbs down in my preop stage, and hope to lose another 40 or so before then. I talk to different people about weight loss and what I'm doing and have several times gotten the reply "but you've lost so much you won't even need surgery!". (I still have 200+ lbs to go) Have you guys heard that before? Should I just keep my mouth shut about surgery coming up? For me the surgery itself is something that I'm working towards, that's helping me work my plan to the fullest, being healthier when I get the surgery is keeping me on track. I've gained and lost so many times in life that for me, this IS THE OPTION. It's the last resort and a choice I have made that I'm going to stick with. I guess if I don't want to feel like people are going to try to talk me out of it, I just shouldn't talk about it.

garber6th

I lost 70 lbs before surgery and I was hearing the same thing. I basically told people that my doctors and I came to the decision together that surgery would ensure the most success for me. That usually worked, because pretty much only a total bonehead would question a decision that I made with medical professionals. I was also seeing a therapist at the time I made the decision, so I had all bases covered. I have lost about 200 lbs at this point and I would like to lose another 20. Now that people see that I am healthy and happy, they don't say a word. Don't feel obligated to explain, many people don't "get" the need for surgery. If you try to explain to everyone, you will get super frustrated.

april731

I didn't really get those kind of comments, but I need to know for myself that it was the best option for me. Bariatric surgery is the gold standard treatment of morbid obesity. It is more effective in both losing and maintaining the weight loss than nonsurgical treatments. It is also associated with remission of diabetes, high cholesterol, and other comorbid conditions. What other health condition do we accept less than the gold standard of care?

If you want to throw some science at them: http://annals.org/article.aspx?articleid=718311

The author's conclusion: "Surgery is more effective than nonsurgical treatment for weight loss and control of some comorbid conditions in patients with a BMI of 40 kg/m2 or greater."

In the end, it is up to you to have surgery or not and I wouldn't let anyone talk you out of it. You could always just say that it is a decision made between you and your doctor and leave it at that. As for people saying you won't need surgery - my best friend asked me if I was "big enough" to qualify for surgery. Um, I weighed 323 pounds at 5'3"; yeah, I was "big enough". People have no concept of what a healthy weight is for you when you've always been overweight.

martabeerich

That's kind of why I'm keeping things close to the vest. Not everyone needs to know my business, especially my family. (Obvi husband and close friends know, but that's it!)

rpyle111

I was also quite successful in my pre-op weight loss and had to answer the question, both for me friends as well as for myself. I read something here early on that resonated with me. Garber6th wrote "at this point in my life, 'Maybe' isn't enough".

I have a chart with my weight since 1999 and it shows a clear pattern of successful weight loss followed by regain to a higher point. Even though the path I was on was working, I couldn't afford another rebound with my physical condition deteriorating and no one is getting any younger! It was then that I started to see the weight loss path I was on was not really a pre-surgery/post-surgery thing, but more of a continuous path with surgery happening as one of the steps. The surgery will help minimize the chances of a significant regain and stop any individual binge, but it won't guarantee anything.

Entering maintenance and starting to regain the ability to eat larger portions, it feels much more like the pre-op situation and I am using the eating patterns I developed in preparation for the surgery. So far, it has gone pretty well and I hope to make this my new normal and focus more on strengthening my body and mind for life!

Rob

anbrdr

I agree and have similar experience as rpyle. It was always a battle of "when I regain", not "If I regain". Self-control issues are something that I've been actively working on for a long time, with limited success. I received lots of weird looks in my pre-surgery classes as I was the smallest/most active of the group. It was even commented to me that I "don't need to have the surgery done" by some of my classmates. That really made things awkward.

I lost a good 70 pounds over the course of 1.5 years up to the surgery date. I debated canceling. By that time, there had already bee so much of a time and money investment that I was going to see it through. I also had a lot of introspection on why I regain, and why it's hard to say no to things like food/beer. I know that the new physical limitation is what's needed for my to stay on course, enjoy in moderation, develop better behavioral patterns, and live a more active lifestyle.

martabeerich

Right there! ^^^ That's me! I lost 220 pounds. Then gained 60. I realized I was gaining it all back. No! I needed a tool to help me stomp the brakes, get to, AND STAY at a reasonable weight.

sinderstorm

Right there with everyone else. Losing the weight is only half the battle, KEEPING it off it a whole nother battle that I've failed at several times. My sleeve is my best hope at maintaining a healthy weight, because I've shown myself over 15 years that I can't do it on my own.

creepykbear

Thanks guys - that's pretty much the approach that I took - that I need something that is going to help me keep it off for the long haul. In a way I feel like I shouldn't talk to people about having surgery soon, but I'm so excited about it I have trouble keeping my mouth shut. Plus at work it seems everyone is always talking about their diets and food and blah blah blah...

1triciakae

I am 5 weeks post op and I got that comment all the time(normally from super skinny people that have never been overweight). I did good I lost 60 pounds pre-op and I had to explain that if I didn't do this I know I will revert back to the same pattern as I always have. I needed a tool to assist me in not going back. I told people they would never understand what is going through my head so they have no place to judge and they didnt know what I have been through.

pawoodhull

I didn't get that much, but those that did ask were told the truth. The surgery is about losing it, but also about keeping it off. The tool of the surgery is made to be used for the rest of our lives to maintain the loss. Yeah, I can lose it with the non-surgical weight loss program, what I can't do is keep it off once I stop eating their prepackaged food/supplements.

decruisers

Thank you helping me remember why I made this decision to begin with...because what I was doing before DID NOT WORK...have I had the thought go through my mind...I'm losing now, do I really need this surgery? Then I Remember the 10 other times I lost weight and regained it and more back. ...love hearing the support on this group. Thanks for keeping me on track.