Sweet Sabotage
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AdriSaysRelax
Posts: 110
Told my Mom I can't have these Peanut Butter Temptation protein bars in my house or I will binge eat them. Like, four in a sitting. I'll try to remain strong, but no matter what I'm doing, my brain will just keep showing me the image of where they are in the pantry until I HAVE TO PUT THEM IN MY FACE. My stomach has shrunk because I'm restricting calories at the moment, so I can only shove four in at a time, but if it were still it's old size, I'm sure I could polish off boxes. I have ice cream in the fridge I'm not tempted to touch, but those bars! I don't know what it is!
Anyway, that SAME DAY- she leaves a box on my table, just forgets them.
I didn't want to throw them away because they were hers. I called her to come get them, but they were obviously not a priority for her. Guess what? I ate them. Had to buy her a new box. Felt like such a weak baby to not be able to stop myself from eating them.
Then today, we go to the movies and the first thing she does when she gets in the car is pull out a box and say, "Here, I bought these for you!" I said HELL TO THE NAW and asked her to keep 'em. Told her again that I just can't maintain self-control around them, and she said, "Oh, well I remembered you liked them. I thought it'd be a nice gift." ::FACEPALM:: I know she really bought them out of love for me, but GOODNESS.
It's like, she wants me to be healthy and happy (read: thin) but at the same time, she's always shown her love to me through food. I'm not going to eat what she prepares or buys me, how will she show her love? It's like we're both sick, just in different ways.
Posted a version of this on my profile as a sort of funny episode, but really, it's kinda hurtful. I know she loves me tremendously, and I her, but dude. Something's gotta change.
Anyway, that SAME DAY- she leaves a box on my table, just forgets them.
I didn't want to throw them away because they were hers. I called her to come get them, but they were obviously not a priority for her. Guess what? I ate them. Had to buy her a new box. Felt like such a weak baby to not be able to stop myself from eating them.
Then today, we go to the movies and the first thing she does when she gets in the car is pull out a box and say, "Here, I bought these for you!" I said HELL TO THE NAW and asked her to keep 'em. Told her again that I just can't maintain self-control around them, and she said, "Oh, well I remembered you liked them. I thought it'd be a nice gift." ::FACEPALM:: I know she really bought them out of love for me, but GOODNESS.
It's like, she wants me to be healthy and happy (read: thin) but at the same time, she's always shown her love to me through food. I'm not going to eat what she prepares or buys me, how will she show her love? It's like we're both sick, just in different ways.
Posted a version of this on my profile as a sort of funny episode, but really, it's kinda hurtful. I know she loves me tremendously, and I her, but dude. Something's gotta change.
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this I know and the feeding that mums used to do to make us feel treated just turns into me ratting myself (not that I have done anything that outstanding.) I am kind of lucky that my mum knows its beauty products that I like now but it unfortunatly doesnt stop me having 800 calories for breakfast!0
