Ladies, on self-confidence
deksgrl
Posts: 7,237 Member
Here is a good discussion on how to break old thought patterns and get on the path to building self confidence with your body image. The woman in the interview looks very fit now, but lost 100 pounds. The woman interviewing her dealt with body image issues her whole life which resulted in disordered eating.
https://www.girlsgonestrong.com/confidence-handbook/
https://www.girlsgonestrong.com/confidence-handbook/
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Nice! Thanks for posting!0
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I read the splash page, and I honestly would be interested just to see if there is a tactic I missed... I find the my ability to love myself, regardless of my mirrored reflection, etc. was tied to the situations I allowed myself to remain in long past their expiration dates, etc. Much of this was tied in part to self-esteem, which for me was fractured - I was very confident out in the world, but horribly co-dependent in my former marriage. I finally woke up one day, akin to Sleeping Beauty, and just knew I was worth something, and I've been fighting the last several years to prove that point... I realized if I couldn't love the 300+ pound me, I'd never love any form of me, and if I couldn't do that, how could I teach my daughter to love herself, etc. It's been a wild ride, and I still have moments of self-doubt, feeling fat in an outfit, etc., but I try very hard not to wallow in it or let the feelings linger... I hope we all become some kick-booty, confident women, at any and every size!0
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I feel like I will always be struggling with these issues, especially with body image issues. At least I am no longer running and hiding from them. Some days I win, some days I lose but I am in the ring every day now - fighting for myself.0
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KnitOrMiss wrote: »I read the splash page, and I honestly would be interested just to see if there is a tactic I missed... I find the my ability to love myself, regardless of my mirrored reflection, etc. was tied to the situations I allowed myself to remain in long past their expiration dates, etc. Much of this was tied in part to self-esteem, which for me was fractured - I was very confident out in the world, but horribly co-dependent in my former marriage. I finally woke up one day, akin to Sleeping Beauty, and just knew I was worth something, and I've been fighting the last several years to prove that point... I realized if I couldn't love the 300+ pound me, I'd never love any form of me, and if I couldn't do that, how could I teach my daughter to love herself, etc. It's been a wild ride, and I still have moments of self-doubt, feeling fat in an outfit, etc., but I try very hard not to wallow in it or let the feelings linger...
What I liked about this interview is she said that many women have a hard time going all of a sudden from "hate" to "love", people talk about it all the time, and it sounds good but how do you actually implement it. She said if you can't make that leap then choose a smaller step, like "acceptance" and then "peace" and then eventually you can get to "love". So you actively choose to focus on affirming those things, in the process you learn and practice pushing away the negative, and eventually you will get to the place where you are successful the majority of the time. I liked it too because you can translate it to low self-esteem of all kinds, not just body image. People can develop this from other causes not necessarily from being overweight.I hope we all become some kick-booty, confident women, at any and every size!
Yes!!0 -
KnitOrMiss wrote: »I read the splash page, and I honestly would be interested just to see if there is a tactic I missed... I find the my ability to love myself, regardless of my mirrored reflection, etc. was tied to the situations I allowed myself to remain in long past their expiration dates, etc. Much of this was tied in part to self-esteem, which for me was fractured - I was very confident out in the world, but horribly co-dependent in my former marriage. I finally woke up one day, akin to Sleeping Beauty, and just knew I was worth something, and I've been fighting the last several years to prove that point... I realized if I couldn't love the 300+ pound me, I'd never love any form of me, and if I couldn't do that, how could I teach my daughter to love herself, etc. It's been a wild ride, and I still have moments of self-doubt, feeling fat in an outfit, etc., but I try very hard not to wallow in it or let the feelings linger...
What I liked about this interview is she said that many women have a hard time going all of a sudden from "hate" to "love", people talk about it all the time, and it sounds good but how do you actually implement it. She said if you can't make that leap then choose a smaller step, like "acceptance" and then "peace" and then eventually you can get to "love". So you actively choose to focus on affirming those things, in the process you learn and practice pushing away the negative, and eventually you will get to the place where you are successful the majority of the time. I liked it too because you can translate it to low self-esteem of all kinds, not just body image. People can develop this from other causes not necessarily from being overweight.I hope we all become some kick-booty, confident women, at any and every size!
Yes!!
And it was very much like this for me. I used to fob off compliments and disbelieve and hate everything I wore, but in some ways, it was a benefit. If I hated the clothes, I got to disconnect, and disconnecting eventually allowed me to realize I was being petty and immature, etc. It was like I hit that moment they talk about with the F-Off Fairy. I just didn't care anymore what anyone thought. I was valued for my input and enthusiasm and others appreciated me. It was a slow process, and honestly, I didn't even know or control most of it. A lot of it was during the process of learning who I was again following my divorce and such, so what, a 4 year process, give or take?
But yeah, honestly, mine was likely a lot more to do with bottomed out self esteem from my miserable marriage and all that crap...0 -
great video, thank you for posting - just sent it to my daughter - I hope she can move quickly past the mistakes it's taken me 40 years to get to realise I even had those problems.0
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I think I have the opposite problem. I think I look okay and I am not self-conscious until I see a glimpse of myself standing next to a healthy person or a snapshot of me. Then, I am say "dang".
For the most part, I don't let it slow me down. Still, I miss my more adventurous, thinner self and I want to find her again.0 -
inspirationstation wrote: »I think I have the opposite problem. I think I look okay and I am not self-conscious until I see a glimpse of myself standing next to a healthy person or a snapshot of me. Then, I am say "dang".
For the most part, I don't let it slow me down. Still, I miss my more adventurous, thinner self and I want to find her again.
When I see "ME" in my head, like my inner avatar, one might say, I still see the early 20-something me, so yes, I do get that shock when I see pictures or a mirror when I'm naked and clothes don't hide the worst of it! LOL0 -
inspirationstation wrote: »I think I have the opposite problem. I think I look okay and I am not self-conscious until I see a glimpse of myself standing next to a healthy person or a snapshot of me. Then, I am say "dang".
For the most part, I don't let it slow me down. Still, I miss my more adventurous, thinner self and I want to find her again.
This is me. I don't see myself as big as I am until I get slapped in the face with it.0 -
I am another who used to have a powerful body and kept that view of myself even as I got fat and developed health problems. I think I'm like a guy - the weekend warrior who didn't see his beer gut when I looked in the mirror. LOL
What do you mean I can't still hike that mountain in 5 hours and not feel pain for a week? What do you mean I can't run a 10k in 45 minutes (or a 5k in 45 minutes nowadays LOL)? Of course I'll come play basketball for a few hours... LOL Uh-huh.
It has been slowly sinking in that my body has gone down hill. The old grey mare ain't what she used to be.
I like this quote from the video:
Your body is your home, and it's the only place you have to live.
That's basically what made me change. If I can't get healthy enough to enjoy my life now, I'll never get another chance to relive today. I have only one shot at being me, so I need to make the most of it. I need to enjoy my body again, and I can't do that until I work to change it and accept that it does need work.
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Nice!0
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Yes, very nice!0
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Well said.
And to add...I am EXTREMELY thankful that after years of abuse, my body still functions as well as it does. I am a Type 2 as of last Fall, but my numbers are now non-diabetic after eating LCHF. Still...I need to treat my body with kindness.
After 43 years, three kids, and fluctuating weights in the extreme, it's a wonder.0 -
Someone wise once told me:
If you want something better than you have,
You have to treat what you have better.
You have to value what you have before life will give you more.
That stuck with me.
I implement that with all kinds of things including my body (speaking of houses). If I want this body to be better, I have to treat it better.
I want a bigger (or different) house, I have to keep this one in good repair and clean.
I want a newer car... same thing.
So far it's working wonders because it helps you appreciate and value what you already have. Helps me, anyway, to acknowledge what I have and that I am worthy of better or more, or whatever it is I am wanting. 0 -
I like that. 0
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Someone wise once told me:
If you want something better than you have,
You have to treat what you have better.
You have to value what you have before life will give you more.
That stuck with me.
I implement that with all kinds of things including my body (speaking of houses). If I want this body to be better, I have to treat it better.
I want a bigger (or different) house, I have to keep this one in good repair and clean.
I want a newer car... same thing.
So far it's working wonders because it helps you appreciate and value what you already have. Helps me, anyway, to acknowledge what I have and that I am worthy of better or more, or whatever it is I am wanting.
Wise words indeed0
