Stall? Maybe. Faulty attitudes? Definitely.

DianaElena76

So I weighed in this morning at 188 pounds exactly. I've been here before. Quite a few times, actually. So I checked my weight graph on here, and sure enough, I weighed 188 for the first time on September 2. I've basically been bouncing up and down between 185 and 190 for almost 6 weeks now. Sure, my lows have been getting slightly lower, but I have yet to drop below 185, and my clothes do not seem to be getting any looser on me at this point. I'm not even sure whether I can call this a stall, but it feels like one. Maybe I'm impatient or maybe I'm self-sabotaging, or maybe my body just likes it here. For reference, I started at 236, so 188 is a 48-pound loss, which is 20% of my starting weight.

I've been thinking about this a lot. Mostly when I'm halfway through a jar of peanut butter or surreptitiously sneaking a couple chips from the bag as I put it away or snagging bites of my kids' whole wheat cheese quesadillas "to make sure they aren't too hot" or suddenly deciding to go ahead and eat that egg roll that came with my chicken and broccoli. I rationalize that my carbs are still well below what they used to be or that I'm making healthier choices in general, but I'm still backsliding. Let's just call that spade the dirty little spade that it is.

I'm not sure why I'm making these choices and allowing myself to get off track. I don't miss those foods and how they taste or how they made me feel physically. Part of it may be that this is the size I was when my husband and I got together, and, while he hasn't made any comments lately, part of me feels that this is "good enough" and part of me feels that he may not find me attractive if I get smaller. Part of it may also be that I fear becoming "too attractive," not having my belly roll or large thighs or dimpled backside to protect me from unscrupulous advances or from being targeted or from being seen for my outward beauty rather than my intellectual assets. Part of it may be that I feel guilty if I eat "good" while the rest of the family makes poor choices. Part of it may be that I am in a mental space where I just don't want to be the strong one anymore--where I just want to give up and let someone else take over for once. Part of it is that I'm just so busy and stressed that I don't have time or room to think about what I am or am not going to eat, so I just grab whatever is nearest sometimes.

Regardless of why, I know what I need to do. I need to eat in the way that makes my body and mind feel good and let the weight do what it's going to do.

I just needed to put this out there. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Tips and encouragement would be most welcome.

JessicaLCHF

Very thoughtful post. You'll get there. Just keep plodding along.

Remember it's a marathon, not a sprint. Eventually your mental state and your physical state will match up to be exactly where you really want to be. That's all I have for motivation. ((Virtual hug))

deksgrl

Do you think that you must know the reason in order to put that behind you? Or do you think you shall carry on regardless? I know the feeling of bouncing +/- the 5 pounds but the low eventually and painfully slowly going lower. Just today I broke below my previous low by a pound which makes me pretty happy. And the reason I did is because I have been eating lighter dinners this past week, due to being busy and it is just convenient to grab a quick small dinner. Not a conscious decision to eat less, just circumstance. So I know it can be done, it is all in my mindset. For me, being busier makes me eat less.

KnitOrMiss

Whenever I hit a mental space like this, I tend to shift to thoughts of maintenance. I don't know about you, but I'm horrible at working on physical, emotional, mental, and everything all at once. So I have to get certain things in a holding pattern, and then buckle down and figure things out in the problem area.

It helps, too, that I don't have young children at home, and that I buy groceries for the household and my SO doesn't buy or bring things into the house that are problems for me. He may moan and groan, but it isn't too hard on me. He likes beans and taco shells with his taco salad - I don't miss them. Mashed potatoes with roast? I might have a bite once in a while.

To me it sounds like a part of your psyche is wrestling with "if it is good enough for my kids, it must be good enough for me." Because we get into that loop of giving our kids the best, before ourselves. I think there might be two things at work here - 1) you need to get on board with reconciling the way you eat being better for your family as a whole (hubby can do his own crap since he's an adult, but the kids should be under "family" domain...) and 2) you really are missing the casualness of doing things as a family - meaning if the kids have quesadillas, even if you don't miss the quesadilla itself, you miss the act of being a family unit - or maybe you do miss the food, too...

I would work on finding things to make for you that mirror or mimic what they have. And while your hubby may want his potato chips, you don't need to serve them to him, put them up, or even have them near. You know there is no nutritional value to serving your kids chips. I think the guilt about letting things slide there may be eating at you... I know it always did to me when my daughter was little. Getting her to eat was enough of a struggle, but honestly, getting them eating healthier now will make it easier later...

So again, I don't know, but it sounds like putting something in a holding pattern so you can work on the mental whys may get you somewhere... HUGS

shinycrazy

So inspiring! I'm hitting burn out and just am tired of having to be vigilant. I'm a type 2 diabetic, so I have to keep going. Thank you for sharing, your post really put into words what I'm feeling. Best of luck to you on your journey!

KarlaYP

Isn't it great to be to a "holding" point where you feel so good about yourself to though?! I'm sure all of the factors you listed are causative for the stall. The point is you're working through it! Identification is the first part of the process to getting to the resolution. I love the advice already given. I also believe we have to adjust as we go since every change affects our lives in different "new"ways. Slowing down to adjust to these "news" is never a bad thing.

DianaElena76

deksgrl wrote: »

Do you think that you must know the reason in order to put that behind you? Or do you think you shall carry on regardless? I know the feeling of bouncing +/- the 5 pounds but the low eventually and painfully slowly going lower. Just today I broke below my previous low by a pound which makes me pretty happy. And the reason I did is because I have been eating lighter dinners this past week, due to being busy and it is just convenient to grab a quick small dinner. Not a conscious decision to eat less, just circumstance. So I know it can be done, it is all in my mindset. For me, being busier makes me eat less.

No, I don't really think I need to know why in order to move past this, but I do think if there are other issues that are causing problems I need to address them too. Make sense? (Also, if you don't already know, I studied psychology, so I'm always interested in the thoughts and feelings behind things, especially the ones that pose problems--or should we call them challenges?)

DianaElena76

JessicaLCHF wrote: »

Very thoughtful post. You'll get there. Just keep plodding along.

Remember it's a marathon, not a sprint. Eventually your mental state and your physical state will match up to be exactly where you really want to be. That's all I have for motivation. ((Virtual hug))

Thank you for this!

DianaElena76

KnitOrMiss wrote: »

Whenever I hit a mental space like this, I tend to shift to thoughts of maintenance. I don't know about you, but I'm horrible at working on physical, emotional, mental, and everything all at once. So I have to get certain things in a holding pattern, and then buckle down and figure things out in the problem area.

It helps, too, that I don't have young children at home, and that I buy groceries for the household and my SO doesn't buy or bring things into the house that are problems for me. He may moan and groan, but it isn't too hard on me. He likes beans and taco shells with his taco salad - I don't miss them. Mashed potatoes with roast? I might have a bite once in a while.

To me it sounds like a part of your psyche is wrestling with "if it is good enough for my kids, it must be good enough for me." Because we get into that loop of giving our kids the best, before ourselves. I think there might be two things at work here - 1) you need to get on board with reconciling the way you eat being better for your family as a whole (hubby can do his own crap since he's an adult, but the kids should be under "family" domain...) and 2) you really are missing the casualness of doing things as a family - meaning if the kids have quesadillas, even if you don't miss the quesadilla itself, you miss the act of being a family unit - or maybe you do miss the food, too...

I would work on finding things to make for you that mirror or mimic what they have. And while your hubby may want his potato chips, you don't need to serve them to him, put them up, or even have them near. You know there is no nutritional value to serving your kids chips. I think the guilt about letting things slide there may be eating at you... I know it always did to me when my daughter was little. Getting her to eat was enough of a struggle, but honestly, getting them eating healthier now will make it easier later...

So again, I don't know, but it sounds like putting something in a holding pattern so you can work on the mental whys may get you somewhere... HUGS

Oh for sure. I mean, whole wheat tortillas with cheese melted between them is not bad.. but then I think in the back of my mind, "If it's good enough for them, why isn't it good enough for me?" And then there's the other stuff. No, I don't give chips to the kids--those are hubby's... which he leaves out on the counter every.damn.day. That's why I'm putting them away. I've noticed myself thinking a lot about his health and just SICK OF being the ONLY ONE who cares about his health. Even his father will go to the store and buy him chips and cookies and other CRAP food. And the grandparents are always buying unhealthy things for the kids to eat too. They think if I don't let them eat Fruit Loops and cookies and loads of syrup (not even the pure maple stuff, but the nasty cheap corn syrup and chemical concoctions) on their pancakes that I'm not letting them be kids. And then when they think they are getting them "healthy" things (lowfat products, margarine, instant oatmeal that probably has more sugar in it than a candy bar), I just want to shake some sense into them. Seriously. I'm so sick of it. I TRY, really I do, but it's so much easier to make them a sandwich or open a can of Spaghetti-Os than to actually cook dinner at the end of a long day. *sigh* I feel like a failure at this mothering thing. This wife-ing thing. This eating healthy thing. And I know this is just a temporary thing and I'll get back into the swing of things, but right now I just feel.... bad. I feel like I'm at odds with the entire world, like I'm trying to save my kids from the food apocalypse, and nobody else even knows it's the apocalypse and we are fighting for our lives. Exhausting.

DianaElena76

shinycrazy wrote: »

So inspiring! I'm hitting burn out and just am tired of having to be vigilant. I'm a type 2 diabetic, so I have to keep going. Thank you for sharing, your post really put into words what I'm feeling. Best of luck to you on your journey!

I'm glad my words spoke to you, but I'm sorry you are feeling this way too.

deksgrl

Mami1976D wrote: »

*sigh* I feel like a failure at this mothering thing. This wife-ing thing. This eating healthy thing. And I know this is just a temporary thing and I'll get back into the swing of things, but right now I just feel.... bad. I feel like I'm at odds with the entire world, like I'm trying to save my kids from the food apocalypse, and nobody else even knows it's the apocalypse and we are fighting for our lives. Exhausting.

You are fostering healthier choices though. Even though they do get those other things at the grandparents house or other places, or occasionally at home, learning that this is how we normally eat at home will eventually sink in. I think they will be in a more balanced place as they grow up, with a healthy attitude towards food, rather than one extreme or the other.

KnitOrMiss

Mami1976D wrote: »

KnitOrMiss wrote: »

Whenever I hit a mental space like this, I tend to shift to thoughts of maintenance. I don't know about you, but I'm horrible at working on physical, emotional, mental, and everything all at once. So I have to get certain things in a holding pattern, and then buckle down and figure things out in the problem area.

It helps, too, that I don't have young children at home, and that I buy groceries for the household and my SO doesn't buy or bring things into the house that are problems for me. He may moan and groan, but it isn't too hard on me. He likes beans and taco shells with his taco salad - I don't miss them. Mashed potatoes with roast? I might have a bite once in a while.

To me it sounds like a part of your psyche is wrestling with "if it is good enough for my kids, it must be good enough for me." Because we get into that loop of giving our kids the best, before ourselves. I think there might be two things at work here - 1) you need to get on board with reconciling the way you eat being better for your family as a whole (hubby can do his own crap since he's an adult, but the kids should be under "family" domain...) and 2) you really are missing the casualness of doing things as a family - meaning if the kids have quesadillas, even if you don't miss the quesadilla itself, you miss the act of being a family unit - or maybe you do miss the food, too...

I would work on finding things to make for you that mirror or mimic what they have. And while your hubby may want his potato chips, you don't need to serve them to him, put them up, or even have them near. You know there is no nutritional value to serving your kids chips. I think the guilt about letting things slide there may be eating at you... I know it always did to me when my daughter was little. Getting her to eat was enough of a struggle, but honestly, getting them eating healthier now will make it easier later...

So again, I don't know, but it sounds like putting something in a holding pattern so you can work on the mental whys may get you somewhere... HUGS

Oh for sure. I mean, whole wheat tortillas with cheese melted between them is not bad.. but then I think in the back of my mind, "If it's good enough for them, why isn't it good enough for me?" And then there's the other stuff. No, I don't give chips to the kids--those are hubby's... which he leaves out on the counter every.damn.day. That's why I'm putting them away. I've noticed myself thinking a lot about his health and just SICK OF being the ONLY ONE who cares about his health. Even his father will go to the store and buy him chips and cookies and other CRAP food. And the grandparents are always buying unhealthy things for the kids to eat too. They think if I don't let them eat Fruit Loops and cookies and loads of syrup (not even the pure maple stuff, but the nasty cheap corn syrup and chemical concoctions) on their pancakes that I'm not letting them be kids. And then when they think they are getting them "healthy" things (lowfat products, margarine, instant oatmeal that probably has more sugar in it than a candy bar), I just want to shake some sense into them. Seriously. I'm so sick of it. I TRY, really I do, but it's so much easier to make them a sandwich or open a can of Spaghetti-Os than to actually cook dinner at the end of a long day. *sigh* I feel like a failure at this mothering thing. This wife-ing thing. This eating healthy thing. And I know this is just a temporary thing and I'll get back into the swing of things, but right now I just feel.... bad. I feel like I'm at odds with the entire world, like I'm trying to save my kids from the food apocalypse, and nobody else even knows it's the apocalypse and we are fighting for our lives. Exhausting.

We know grandparents are going to do what they do. Share with them your concerns that letting your kids get addicted to junk instead of nutrition will put them on the same path as their father. Use scare tactics. Share that you get the once in a while treat, but that your pediatrician says the food thing is why your daughter has poo problems etc. Make it up. Use medical science to thwart them.

And you might have to get hard core prison warden style. Whatever happens outside your home is what it is, but what happens in your home or when you are present is your way or no way. It'll be hard for them to adjust (the adults), but they'll respect you for it. And for hubby, leave his stuff out and open. He's a grown up. He doesn't need you cleaning up after him. When they go stale or get put in the trash, that's his problem, not yours.

You aren't a failure. Make the kids a sandwich, sure...use wheat thins or a better bread. Put it between lettuce. Make homemade lunchables. Stop buying spaghettios. Make a pot of spaghetti on the weekend, and freeze enough for them to each have a portion (so instead of freezing individually, freeze in threes...)... You can make "convenience" foods... Don't buy American cheese, buy cheddar or whatever... That kind of thing. Make them roll ups instead of a sandwich. Meat with cream cheese and a pickle in the middle. Roll them up. Can't take any longer than making sandwiches... Make it a game...made a ranch dip or something for them to "dip" them in... etc. Tons of parenting ideas for quick stuff...

I know WIC gives you stuff, figure out ways to use it. Planning takes more time than doing, a lot of the times...

Present healthy options for hubby when you can, but the fact is, just like getting someone to quit smoking or drinking - you can't do it for them...they have to be ready, and sometimes just you hovering, not even nagging, is enough unspoken stress to make them turn back to the bad habit for comfort. Quit making a deal out of his diagnosis. Offer advice if he asks...don't volunteer anymore. Make a point of updating your life insurance on him.

I have recently discovered and realized that I cannot change a grown up, so I have to do the best decisions for me and anyone dependent on me, and the grown ups can go shove off. Hubby can't grow to be more responsible if everything is always done for him...

KnitOrMiss

deksgrl wrote: »

Mami1976D wrote: »

*sigh* I feel like a failure at this mothering thing. This wife-ing thing. This eating healthy thing. And I know this is just a temporary thing and I'll get back into the swing of things, but right now I just feel.... bad. I feel like I'm at odds with the entire world, like I'm trying to save my kids from the food apocalypse, and nobody else even knows it's the apocalypse and we are fighting for our lives. Exhausting.

You are fostering healthier choices though. Even though they do get those other things at the grandparents house or other places, or occasionally at home, learning that this is how we normally eat at home will eventually sink in. I think they will be in a more balanced place as they grow up, with a healthy attitude towards food, rather than one extreme or the other.

So much this!!!!! Love it.

DianaElena76

Don't get me started on WIC. 1% milk, cereal, pasta, bread, peanut butter (not the natural or sugar free kinds), etc. But at least there's also eggs and cheese and yogurt and fruits/veggies (which didn't used to be an option 15 years ago when I got WIC for my oldest). I don't buy American cheese. I think it's gross. I buy real cheese in bricks and use it for everything. Thanks for reminders that there are easy ways to make healthier foods.

slimzandra

I'm still stuck on this comment - -

"Part of it may also be that I fear becoming "too attractive," not having my belly roll or large thighs or dimpled backside to protect me from unscrupulous advances or from being targeted or from being seen for my outward beauty rather than my intellectual assets."

I feel this is a sad thing about women generally. I think it's not just you Mami, it's interesting because it is something I've heard many times by younger women and by many different types of women, both attractive and unattractive.

Why can't a woman be both beautiful, physically attractive, and have brains? We just hired two very attractive ladies, physical beauties! One is an MBA, the other an attorney. I think they are both taken very seriously and for their credentials as well as 'presenting well'.

At 50-something, my insecurity about outward beauty has faded a bit. At this point, I'd welcome any advances..

Seriously though,

I do still like to look put together and as "attractive" as possible, and I have never dressed provocatively. I think the social norm in corporate business is that women look better in clothes (suits) when they are slimmer. Clothing just falls better, looks neater. (That's why stick thin models.) Although, curves or no curves is also cultural thing. Some cultures, the more curves the lady is considered more attractive. Unscrupulous advances come from unscrupulous types, and they don't care about weight or a woman's attractiveness anyway. It's more about power and dominance, than the woman's appearance.

I was never a great beauty, somewhat attractive, on the short side, and I always prided myself on my intellect, no matter my weight. If we can look great too, all the better. No? What am I missing?

DianaElena76

slimzandra wrote: »

I'm still stuck on this comment - -

"Part of it may also be that I fear becoming "too attractive," not having my belly roll or large thighs or dimpled backside to protect me from unscrupulous advances or from being targeted or from being seen for my outward beauty rather than my intellectual assets."

I feel this is a sad thing about women generally. I think it's not just you Mami, it's interesting because it is something I've heard many times by younger women and by many different types of women, both attractive and unattractive.

Why can't a woman be both beautiful, physically attractive, and have brains? We just hired two very attractive ladies, physical beauties! One is an MBA, the other an attorney. I think they are both taken very seriously and for their credentials as well as 'presenting well'.

At 50-something, my insecurity about outward beauty has faded a bit. At this point, I'd welcome any advances..

Seriously though,

I do still like to look put together and as "attractive" as possible, and I have never dressed provocatively. I think the social norm in corporate business is that women look better in clothes (suits) when they are slimmer. Clothing just falls better, looks neater. (That's why stick thin models.) Although, curves or no curves is also cultural thing. Some cultures, the more curves the lady is considered more attractive. Unscrupulous advances come from unscrupulous types, and they don't care about weight or a woman's attractiveness anyway. It's more about power and dominance, than the woman's appearance.

I was never a great beauty, somewhat attractive, on the short side, and I always prided myself on my intellect, no matter my weight. If we can look great too, all the better. No? What am I missing?

You are missing my history. For some of us there is a certain feeling of safety in being (or feeling) more cushiony and less attractive. I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels this way. I think everyone has ways of protecting themselves from the outside world. For some of us it's an extra layer of padding. Although not a single thing you said was out of line or inaccurate.

Personally *I* do not think someone more attractive is less intelligent, but I have definitely been in places/offices/situations where there was very much a sense of the "pretty" people and the "smart" people, and ne'er the twain shall meet. Or of women being taken less seriously when they are thin and physically attractive. I feel like at this point in my life I carry myself like and am seen as the knowledgeable professional I am, especially on my full-time job. But I'm lucky to be employed by a neuropsychologist who for some reason has a great deal of respect for me and my skills. (And it doesn't hurt that he's also visually impaired--although he did comment on my weight loss last week!)

It's definitely cultural too. My dad's culture is appreciative of curves. My abuela always said, "Tu eres gorda (you are fat)--here, eat!" A certain amount of fat is beautiful. My maternal grandparents, however, believed the opposite to be true. I didn't spend a whole lot of time with any of my grandparents, though.

KnitOrMiss

Mami1976D wrote: »

Don't get me started on WIC. 1% milk, cereal, pasta, bread, peanut butter (not the natural or sugar free kinds), etc. But at least there's also eggs and cheese and yogurt and fruits/veggies (which didn't used to be an option 15 years ago when I got WIC for my oldest). I don't buy American cheese. I think it's gross. I buy real cheese in bricks and use it for everything. Thanks for reminders that there are easy ways to make healthier foods.

I'm a recipe collector (I usually say recipe *kitten*). Nom Nom Paleo has a ton of "lunchbox" ideas using Bento boxes, so you can pack and prep little compartments and stuff, make it feel cool. Lots of cute things, colors, easy to throw together, creative things. I was obsessed with things like that when my daughter was little - and I NEVER DID ANY OF THEM! LOL She grew up way too quickly for that...

It's little things like dinosaur shaped cookie cutters or having them build a princess dress on their plates out of lunchmeat, cheese, veggies, etc. The goofy stuff More time on the weekends, by far, but sometimes that whimsy will strike. You just have to stand firm through the tantrums... Not to mention all the fun cool ways to trick them to eating healthy foods... You just need to calm down and quit considering yourself a failure. You haven't given up, so you're still in progress. If you IN PROGRESS, you can't have already failed! You're not done yet! Besides, if you don't make mistakes, how will your kids know you're human? How can you learn something better??? We learn more from our mistakes than our success, you know...

P.S. You know that kids through tantrums as a mental experiment (maybe not consciously), but for reassurance. They need to know that the laws of MomPhysics don't change. Mom says no, throw a tantrum, mom still says no, universe returns to normal. Mom says no, throw a tantrum, mom gives in, kid doubts universe, feels scared, throws more tantrums trying to find the "edge" of normal again, etc...

deksgrl

I was thinking about your post when I was out, and another thing that occurred to me that I don't think has been mentioned regarding this part:

Seriously. I'm so sick of it. I TRY, really I do, but it's so much easier to make them a sandwich or open a can of Spaghetti-Os than to actually cook dinner at the end of a long day.

You might do some more serious meal planning, perhaps cook in some larger batches on the weekend, use a crock pot, or whatever will help you be better able to get a healthy meal on the table without a lot of fuss on the days you work. I know that isn't much fun, but it relieves the stress of dinner time if it is planned and even if just part of it is already cooked.

DianaElena76

deksgrl wrote: »

I was thinking about your post when I was out, and another thing that occurred to me that I don't think has been mentioned regarding this part:

Seriously. I'm so sick of it. I TRY, really I do, but it's so much easier to make them a sandwich or open a can of Spaghetti-Os than to actually cook dinner at the end of a long day.

You might do some more serious meal planning, perhaps cook in some larger batches on the weekend, use a crock pot, or whatever will help you be better able to get a healthy meal on the table without a lot of fuss on the days you work. I know that isn't much fun, but it relieves the stress of dinner time if it is planned and even if just part of it is already cooked.

Yes, I'm realized I definitely need to do this more. I need to do grocery shopping and meal planning in a much more deliberate manner. It's just--I mentioned I took a weekend job, right? So even my weekends are hectic now. But I do still have Sunday afternoons... I need to learn to batch cook several meals at once while doing other things too.

NewSue52

I think that for many people careless eating comes with success. You've done well. It is natural to realize that that small slips don't have much impact. It becomes a problem when there are a lot of small slips that eventually add up to a lot of carbs and calories. I think it may be one of those issues we just have to deal with. It is best not to start tasting things. In the long run, it is easier to not start than to have to try to stop

deksgrl

Mami1976D wrote: »

deksgrl wrote: »

I was thinking about your post when I was out, and another thing that occurred to me that I don't think has been mentioned regarding this part:

Seriously. I'm so sick of it. I TRY, really I do, but it's so much easier to make them a sandwich or open a can of Spaghetti-Os than to actually cook dinner at the end of a long day.

You might do some more serious meal planning, perhaps cook in some larger batches on the weekend, use a crock pot, or whatever will help you be better able to get a healthy meal on the table without a lot of fuss on the days you work. I know that isn't much fun, but it relieves the stress of dinner time if it is planned and even if just part of it is already cooked.

Yes, I'm realized I definitely need to do this more. I need to do grocery shopping and meal planning in a much more deliberate manner. It's just--I mentioned I took a weekend job, right? So even my weekends are hectic now. But I do still have Sunday afternoons... I need to learn to batch cook several meals at once while doing other things too.

I love my crock pot, love opening the door to the smell of dinner already done and knowing I just have to spend 10 minutes on making a salad and serving it up. Maybe you could also make ahead some things your oldest child or hubby could pop in the oven 30 minutes before you get home, like meatloaf or whatever, if they are home ahead of you. I know it isn't easy, I was a single mom but to just one child, and there were times when it was just so easy to dial up pizza or chinese takeout, but life was a lot less stressful when I was meal planning.

KETOGENICGURL

the most negative external thing about being fat is people do assume you are less-smart, or 'stupid'..ie if you were smart you would not 'let yourself go"…no one sees the 25 pounds you already lost unless they see you daily…or knows how much you struggle to stick to a healthy eating plan DAILY..hourly often.

And there is a lot of truth to men being threatened by women losing weight, by looking good to 'strangers' and losing their women (because they may be too lazy to make an effort to keep her happy)… as I got older I noticed how often clerks in stores JUMP to help any young female..and totally ignore or don't care to solve my problem….unless I look like their mom…..this seems to be human nature. Women disappear into maturity...we are invisible, unfair, but the truth.

Brains 'show' eventually, and people will feel more threatened, and rebuke you for appearances, it's only 'club' they have. (I've noticed how often young buff men will deride a brilliant researcher over his diet/nutrition advice as 'worthless" because the science guy is older/flabby/ grey haired and no longer 24!!! they will trust another 27 yr old body builder giving the same info OVER hard science guy because of superficial appearances of youth..gifted to even the most clueless… fortunately 'time' will revenge on them all.

One of the nicest insults I ever got was crossing the street too slowly in NYC..while being fat in a business suit....and a cabbie honked at me and said "Move it 4 eyes!!" ( I wore glasses) rather than choosing to call me 'lardo' or other terms….I laughed like crazy over this.

Stay Strong Mami..your post is one of the best real life truths I've read here. You look at the 'bigger' picture, while most just whine over daily water gain and caloric self interest.

DianaElena76

NewSue52 wrote: »

I think that for many people careless eating comes with success. You've done well. It is natural to realize that that small slips don't have much impact. It becomes a problem when there are a lot of small slips that eventually add up to a lot of carbs and calories. I think it may be one of those issues we just have to deal with. It is best not to start tasting things. In the long run, it is easier to not start than to have to try to stop

True. That's the problem: when the slip-up doesn't hurt my weight loss, so I slip up again... and again, and again. It all started with peanut butter...

DianaElena76

deksgrl wrote: »

Mami1976D wrote: »

deksgrl wrote: »

I was thinking about your post when I was out, and another thing that occurred to me that I don't think has been mentioned regarding this part:

Seriously. I'm so sick of it. I TRY, really I do, but it's so much easier to make them a sandwich or open a can of Spaghetti-Os than to actually cook dinner at the end of a long day.

You might do some more serious meal planning, perhaps cook in some larger batches on the weekend, use a crock pot, or whatever will help you be better able to get a healthy meal on the table without a lot of fuss on the days you work. I know that isn't much fun, but it relieves the stress of dinner time if it is planned and even if just part of it is already cooked.

Yes, I'm realized I definitely need to do this more. I need to do grocery shopping and meal planning in a much more deliberate manner. It's just--I mentioned I took a weekend job, right? So even my weekends are hectic now. But I do still have Sunday afternoons... I need to learn to batch cook several meals at once while doing other things too.

I love my crock pot, love opening the door to the smell of dinner already done and knowing I just have to spend 10 minutes on making a salad and serving it up. Maybe you could also make ahead some things your oldest child or hubby could pop in the oven 30 minutes before you get home, like meatloaf or whatever, if they are home ahead of you. I know it isn't easy, I was a single mom but to just one child, and there were times when it was just so easy to dial up pizza or chinese takeout, but life was a lot less stressful when I was meal planning.

Don't get me wrong--I love my crock pot too. But I usually don't get around to using it until evening, which means it's the next day's dinner I'm cooking overnight. At least it saves me meal prep the next day, but by then the food isn't as fresh... and if I've forgotten to turn the dang thing down before bed, it's overcooked.

DianaElena76

KETOGENICGURL wrote: »

the most negative external thing about being fat is people do assume you are less-smart, or 'stupid'..ie if you were smart you would not 'let yourself go"…no one sees the 25 pounds you already lost unless they see you daily…or knows how much you struggle to stick to a healthy eating plan DAILY..hourly often.

And there is a lot of truth to men being threatened by women losing weight, by looking good to 'strangers' and losing their women (because they may be too lazy to make an effort to keep her happy)… as I got older I noticed how often clerks in stores JUMP to help any young female..and totally ignore or don't care to solve my problem….unless I look like their mom…..this seems to be human nature. Women disappear into maturity...we are invisible, unfair, but the truth.

Brains 'show' eventually, and people will feel more threatened, and rebuke you for appearances, it's only 'club' they have. (I've noticed how often young buff men will deride a brilliant researcher over his diet/nutrition advice as 'worthless" because the science guy is older/flabby/ grey haired and no longer 24!!! they will trust another 27 yr old body builder giving the same info OVER hard science guy because of superficial appearances of youth..gifted to even the most clueless… fortunately 'time' will revenge on them all.

One of the nicest insults I ever got was crossing the street too slowly in NYC..while being fat in a business suit....and a cabbie honked at me and said "Move it 4 eyes!!" ( I wore glasses) rather than choosing to call me 'lardo' or other terms….I laughed like crazy over this.

Stay Strong Mami..your post is one of the best real life truths I've read here. You look at the 'bigger' picture, while most just whine over daily water gain and caloric self interest.

Good point, I hadn't really thought about being taken less seriously when I was larger. Although when I was larger I probably did think about it. Honestly, I just felt invisible when I was fat. And there was definitely a bit of comfort in not being looked at. As someone who has always drawn unwelcome attention because of my curves.

I'm glad you appreciated my post.