Is it better to honest up front or later on?
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I think you are desexualizing yourself. You are making yourself into one of the boys not a girl that likes some guy stuff.
If you are watching a game at a bar wearing something like this
or
It doesn't scream sex but a guy would know you were a girl and wouldn't be outside your normal hoodie outfits.
Sorry for pic-quoting but those outfits are really cute and a perfect idea. You can definitely be into sports and still be feminine. I can be somewhat of a tomboy myself (hate sports though) but it comes out more in the way I speak. I can curse like I sailor and my voice isn't very feminine unfortunately. I think I'm showing improvement in that area. I only have 1 brother and when I was REALLY young I preferred to hang out with him and his friends which is probably why I get along more with guys now. I also work in a male-dominated profession. Sometimes the tomboy just comes out BUT I've learned to "tone it down" on dates, especially the first few dates with someone. I do enjoy dressing up and I have some feminine ways but I don't do a 180 and turn into a total Barbie-girl either because if you act fake in the beginning it will all come to light eventually anyway, and what if the guys still don't like that side of you when it does emerge? Definitely a toss-up.
Someone in an earlier post (Christine?) made a good point in saying to give the person a little time to get to be attracted to you first before you pull out all the stops. I think guys do appreciate a girl who likes sports but I also think they appreciate femininity more. Just my opinion.0 -
I think you should definitely be yourself and not change for anyone, but I can see what you mean, maybe you just need to play up your feminine side a little for the initial attraction. ya know just to trap them, lol jk.
the outfit ideas were cute, you don't have to completely change your look, just play it up a bit. you can dress/look girly without having to dumb yourself down. in fact dressing feminine and also be able to talk to a guy about sports is probably very attractive to them to be able to have both
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I don't think it has that much to do with the fact that you like sports or the way you look. It probably has more to do with how you talk to guys (this is really just a guess based on personal experience). If you talk to us like one of our buddies then we'll think of you as a buddy. If you want us to think of you as a girl, you need to flirt, touch us, talk about sex, do things with us that we are too uncomfortable doing with another guy. Look us in the eye, smile, sit close to us, playfully tease us, compliment us, wear perfume, little things can sometimes go a long way.
If you are indeed tired of being friendzoned than you need to do something about it. Yes, you should be yourself, but you should also always be striving to improve yourself. You don't have to be a tomboy forever you know. You can easily update your style and attitude to make yourself a little bit more girly. But if you just say you're a tomboy and that's who you are, you will probably keep getting friendzoned because guys don't want to date other guys (unless they're gay, which is okay).0 -
This is all very straightforward. You will attract people that will be attracted to you. There are guys that don't like the woman getting into the sport and yelling at the tv while trying not to spill her beer - and there are guys that would pop a mad boner for a lady like that.
But if you want a guy and you want to see if sex will happen, then make sex seem like a possibility for him. There are guys who will quietly sport a woody for you and never say anything because it seems too good to be true. Until one day you walk in with the girls on display and ask him if he wants to go to a sports bar with you where you can buy each other drinks while watching the game.
Seriously, it's that simple.0 -
Love this thread as I'm the same. I get really into my soccer... I'm in supporters groups and chant/sing during games. Some guys actually like that. However, I am also friend zoned by just about every guy I like, so yeah... this thread has been nice. Thanks for all the advice, guys!0
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Being a tomboy doens't mean you can't get guys.... But it depends on the kind of guy you want to .........I used to be a hardcore tomboy... no make oversized shirts hair always pulled back..... Yeah its easy and comfy but not attractive...... Don't get me wrng I scream at the TV during football and MMA matches and still love all the same stuff that I used to but now I wear clothes that fit lol do my hair and make-up. Nothing to fancy but I find I like looking female.... Your personality is rarely the problem unless you never let the guy have a clue that your interested... Smile, flirt, eye contact,brushing up against him ect0
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Lots of great advice and I suppose I can keep the conversation away from buddy talk for the first bit. Yes I can pretty much talk any guy in the room under the table when it comes to football but I will be very careful in my conversations going forward.
I am still working on my confidence and flirting ability. Met someone new and have had 2 dates so far so we'll see. Taking your guys advice.0 -
Don't get me wrong, talking football is an awesome quality for a girl, but if you do it too much it just doesn't build any chemistry.Lots of great advice and I suppose I can keep the conversation away from buddy talk for the first bit. Yes I can pretty much talk any guy in the room under the table when it comes to football but I will be very careful in my conversations going forward.
I am still working on my confidence and flirting ability. Met someone new and have had 2 dates so far so we'll see. Taking your guys advice.
I've been on dates with girls that I've had a ton in common with and had a great time, but just didn't feel like I wanted to rip their clothes off. I've also been on dates where we didn't necessarily have that much in common, but couldn't keep our hands off each other after an hour or two. It's just chemistry.
Not sure where you are with 2-date guy, but the best advice I can give is to touch him casually. Just on the leg or something, it can really work wonders. If he finds a way to touch you back you're in. Good luck!0 -
Lots of great advice and I suppose I can keep the conversation away from buddy talk for the first bit. Yes I can pretty much talk any guy in the room under the table when it comes to football but I will be very careful in my conversations going forward.
It depresses me that this is what you took from the thread.0 -
Don't get me wrong, talking football is an awesome quality for a girl, but if you do it too much it just doesn't build any chemistry.Lots of great advice and I suppose I can keep the conversation away from buddy talk for the first bit. Yes I can pretty much talk any guy in the room under the table when it comes to football but I will be very careful in my conversations going forward.
I am still working on my confidence and flirting ability. Met someone new and have had 2 dates so far so we'll see. Taking your guys advice.
I've been on dates with girls that I've had a ton in common with and had a great time, but just didn't feel like I wanted to rip their clothes off. I've also been on dates where we didn't necessarily have that much in common, but couldn't keep our hands off each other after an hour or two. It's just chemistry.
Not sure where you are with 2-date guy, but the best advice I can give is to touch him casually. Just on the leg or something, it can really work wonders. If he finds a way to touch you back you're in. Good luck!
Got a kiss on our 2nd date so I must be doing something right! And I've been trying the whole touch thing even though I'm not a touchy person. 0 -
Oh, you're doing fine then, you don't even need our help.0
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Got a kiss on our 2nd date so I must be doing something right! And I've been trying the whole touch thing even though I'm not a touchy person.
sounds like you got this! you go girl :bigsmile:0 -
Don't get me wrong, talking football is an awesome quality for a girl, but if you do it too much it just doesn't build any chemistry.Lots of great advice and I suppose I can keep the conversation away from buddy talk for the first bit. Yes I can pretty much talk any guy in the room under the table when it comes to football but I will be very careful in my conversations going forward.
I am still working on my confidence and flirting ability. Met someone new and have had 2 dates so far so we'll see. Taking your guys advice.
I've been on dates with girls that I've had a ton in common with and had a great time, but just didn't feel like I wanted to rip their clothes off. I've also been on dates where we didn't necessarily have that much in common, but couldn't keep our hands off each other after an hour or two. It's just chemistry.
Not sure where you are with 2-date guy, but the best advice I can give is to touch him casually. Just on the leg or something, it can really work wonders. If he finds a way to touch you back you're in. Good luck!
Got a kiss on our 2nd date so I must be doing something right! And I've been trying the whole touch thing even though I'm not a touchy person.
Woooo hoooo!!! Kissing and touching sounds good to me!! :bigsmile:0 -
Hahah ... I took the advice I got in here before I went out with him for the 1st time. Kind of why I asked in the first place. Didn't want to be put into the friendzone by another guy. Took the clothing advice ... went more with my feminine side ... trying flirting and touching, haha. Good dating coaches you all are. He met me and then the next night wanted to see me again. 2 dates in 2 nights. 0
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Hahah ... I took the advice I got in here before I went out with him for the 1st time. Kind of why I asked in the first place. Didn't want to be put into the friendzone by another guy. Took the clothing advice ... went more with my feminine side ... trying flirting and touching, haha. Good dating coaches you all are. He met me and then the next night wanted to see me again. 2 dates in 2 nights.
Woohoo awesome. I think roadie suggested the casual touch and I totally agree. I think it shows/gives the man the 'go ahead'
Keep us posted.0 -
Hahah ... I took the advice I got in here before I went out with him for the 1st time. Kind of why I asked in the first place. Didn't want to be put into the friendzone by another guy. Took the clothing advice ... went more with my feminine side ... trying flirting and touching, haha. Good dating coaches you all are. He met me and then the next night wanted to see me again. 2 dates in 2 nights.
Woohoo awesome. I think roadie suggested the casual touch and I totally agree. I think it shows/gives the man the 'go ahead'
Keep us posted.
yes I want updates so I can live vicariously through you lol. I have a coffee date this weekend. I don't have very high expectations for it lol but I wanna keep putting myself out there0 -
Well ... got a kiss goodnight on the 2nd date and then never heard from him again. Not taking it personal ... just obviously not the girl for him. He was just someone to practice on, haha. (I'll look at it that way anyway) Talking to another guy I am going out with next week so will keep all of your tips in mind. Gotta love online dating.0
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Well ... got a kiss goodnight on the 2nd date and then never heard from him again. Not taking it personal ... just obviously not the girl for him. He was just someone to practice on, haha. (I'll look at it that way anyway) Talking to another guy I am going out with next week so will keep all of your tips in mind. Gotta love online dating.
It's been about 35 hours between the time you posted about your date and now. Why are you writing him off so soon?0 -
Well ... got a kiss goodnight on the 2nd date and then never heard from him again. Not taking it personal ... just obviously not the girl for him. He was just someone to practice on, haha. (I'll look at it that way anyway) Talking to another guy I am going out with next week so will keep all of your tips in mind. Gotta love online dating.
It's been about 35 hours between the time you posted about your date and now. Why are you writing him off so soon?
Because I deserve someone who is going to be into me ... someone who wants to talk to me, and someone who doesn't even send a txt to say hi for 2 days ... we went out Tuesday night, it's Friday ... it's obvious he's not interested ... and that's ok.0 -
Have you tried calling or texting him? I would probably not be with my current girlfriend right now if she hadn't texted me after our first date to set up another. I was sort of "meh" about our first date, I didn't feel a lot of chemistry and I wasn't sure if she even liked me.Well ... got a kiss goodnight on the 2nd date and then never heard from him again. Not taking it personal ... just obviously not the girl for him. He was just someone to practice on, haha. (I'll look at it that way anyway) Talking to another guy I am going out with next week so will keep all of your tips in mind. Gotta love online dating.
It's been about 35 hours between the time you posted about your date and now. Why are you writing him off so soon?
Because I deserve someone who is going to be into me ... someone who wants to talk to me, and someone who doesn't even send a txt to say hi for 2 days ... we went out Tuesday night, it's Friday ... it's obvious he's not interested ... and that's ok.
So at least for me, I appreciate the effort and proactiveness of a girl that doesn't just expect the guy to call her. I also don't get that attached to women I've only hung out with a couple times. So if you like him, then text him. The only thing you have to lose is a little bit of your ego. You never know!0 -
Have you tried calling or texting him? I would probably not be with my current girlfriend right now if she hadn't texted me after our first date to set up another. I was sort of "meh" about our first date, I didn't feel a lot of chemistry and I wasn't sure if she even liked me.Well ... got a kiss goodnight on the 2nd date and then never heard from him again. Not taking it personal ... just obviously not the girl for him. He was just someone to practice on, haha. (I'll look at it that way anyway) Talking to another guy I am going out with next week so will keep all of your tips in mind. Gotta love online dating.
It's been about 35 hours between the time you posted about your date and now. Why are you writing him off so soon?
Because I deserve someone who is going to be into me ... someone who wants to talk to me, and someone who doesn't even send a txt to say hi for 2 days ... we went out Tuesday night, it's Friday ... it's obvious he's not interested ... and that's ok.
So at least for me, I appreciate the effort and proactiveness of a girl that doesn't just expect the guy to call her. I also don't get that attached to women I've only hung out with a couple times. So if you like him, then text him. The only thing you have to lose is a little bit of your ego. You never know!
I agree with Roadie. Even a simple "hey, how's your week going?" text can restart a conversation, and isn't too forward if that's your concern.0 -
Have you tried calling or texting him? I would probably not be with my current girlfriend right now if she hadn't texted me after our first date to set up another. I was sort of "meh" about our first date, I didn't feel a lot of chemistry and I wasn't sure if she even liked me.Well ... got a kiss goodnight on the 2nd date and then never heard from him again. Not taking it personal ... just obviously not the girl for him. He was just someone to practice on, haha. (I'll look at it that way anyway) Talking to another guy I am going out with next week so will keep all of your tips in mind. Gotta love online dating.
It's been about 35 hours between the time you posted about your date and now. Why are you writing him off so soon?
Because I deserve someone who is going to be into me ... someone who wants to talk to me, and someone who doesn't even send a txt to say hi for 2 days ... we went out Tuesday night, it's Friday ... it's obvious he's not interested ... and that's ok.
So at least for me, I appreciate the effort and proactiveness of a girl that doesn't just expect the guy to call her. I also don't get that attached to women I've only hung out with a couple times. So if you like him, then text him. The only thing you have to lose is a little bit of your ego. You never know!
I have sent a txt. No reply. That's ok. I don't want to send another without a reply from the first ... comes off kinda desperate doesn't it?0 -
I have sent a txt. No reply. That's ok. I don't want to send another without a reply from the first ... comes off kinda desperate doesn't it?
I'd stop there, too. When men are interested, they contact you.0 -
No you're right, one is enough. If he didn't reply to that one he's not worth it.
Have you tried calling or texting him? I would probably not be with my current girlfriend right now if she hadn't texted me after our first date to set up another. I was sort of "meh" about our first date, I didn't feel a lot of chemistry and I wasn't sure if she even liked me.Well ... got a kiss goodnight on the 2nd date and then never heard from him again. Not taking it personal ... just obviously not the girl for him. He was just someone to practice on, haha. (I'll look at it that way anyway) Talking to another guy I am going out with next week so will keep all of your tips in mind. Gotta love online dating.
It's been about 35 hours between the time you posted about your date and now. Why are you writing him off so soon?
Because I deserve someone who is going to be into me ... someone who wants to talk to me, and someone who doesn't even send a txt to say hi for 2 days ... we went out Tuesday night, it's Friday ... it's obvious he's not interested ... and that's ok.
So at least for me, I appreciate the effort and proactiveness of a girl that doesn't just expect the guy to call her. I also don't get that attached to women I've only hung out with a couple times. So if you like him, then text him. The only thing you have to lose is a little bit of your ego. You never know!
I have sent a txt. No reply. That's ok. I don't want to send another without a reply from the first ... comes off kinda desperate doesn't it?0 -
Have you tried calling or texting him? I would probably not be with my current girlfriend right now if she hadn't texted me after our first date to set up another. I was sort of "meh" about our first date, I didn't feel a lot of chemistry and I wasn't sure if she even liked me.Well ... got a kiss goodnight on the 2nd date and then never heard from him again. Not taking it personal ... just obviously not the girl for him. He was just someone to practice on, haha. (I'll look at it that way anyway) Talking to another guy I am going out with next week so will keep all of your tips in mind. Gotta love online dating.
It's been about 35 hours between the time you posted about your date and now. Why are you writing him off so soon?
Because I deserve someone who is going to be into me ... someone who wants to talk to me, and someone who doesn't even send a txt to say hi for 2 days ... we went out Tuesday night, it's Friday ... it's obvious he's not interested ... and that's ok.
So at least for me, I appreciate the effort and proactiveness of a girl that doesn't just expect the guy to call her. I also don't get that attached to women I've only hung out with a couple times. So if you like him, then text him. The only thing you have to lose is a little bit of your ego. You never know!
I have sent a txt. No reply. That's ok. I don't want to send another without a reply from the first ... comes off kinda desperate doesn't it?
While I am a big time advocate of pursuing, I'd say that unless something major came into his life (like a family death) it's him not being interested in you. You sent a text, he didn't respond. That's fine, you guys just weren't a match.
I think you're in the right mindset. It's okay to be disappointed considering you seemed pretty stoked about the kiss but you've got another date lined up so get amped for that instead 0 -
Have you tried calling or texting him? I would probably not be with my current girlfriend right now if she hadn't texted me after our first date to set up another. I was sort of "meh" about our first date, I didn't feel a lot of chemistry and I wasn't sure if she even liked me.Well ... got a kiss goodnight on the 2nd date and then never heard from him again. Not taking it personal ... just obviously not the girl for him. He was just someone to practice on, haha. (I'll look at it that way anyway) Talking to another guy I am going out with next week so will keep all of your tips in mind. Gotta love online dating.
It's been about 35 hours between the time you posted about your date and now. Why are you writing him off so soon?
Because I deserve someone who is going to be into me ... someone who wants to talk to me, and someone who doesn't even send a txt to say hi for 2 days ... we went out Tuesday night, it's Friday ... it's obvious he's not interested ... and that's ok.
So at least for me, I appreciate the effort and proactiveness of a girl that doesn't just expect the guy to call her. I also don't get that attached to women I've only hung out with a couple times. So if you like him, then text him. The only thing you have to lose is a little bit of your ego. You never know!
I have sent a txt. No reply. That's ok. I don't want to send another without a reply from the first ... comes off kinda desperate doesn't it?
While I am a big time advocate of pursuing, I'd say that unless something major came into his life (like a family death) it's him not being interested in you. You sent a text, he didn't respond. That's fine, you guys just weren't a match.
I think you're in the right mindset. It's okay to be disappointed considering you seemed pretty stoked about the kiss but you've got another date lined up so get amped for that instead
Think I was more stoked about the kiss because he was a very good looking guy. When I first met him, I thought he was way out of my league but just kind of went with it. The guy I am going out with next week is more "my type" ... super sweet and cute but not "I can get any girl just by smiling cute" like this other guy was. I'm looking forward to meeting him.0 -
:grumble: I never understand the concept of kissing someone that you're no intention of seeing again?
It's happened to me and I think he must have been pretending all along?
Perhaps someone can explain the 'kiss and poof' phenomenon? :huh:0 -
Oh if you already texted, then one was enough. Good luck with the next guy!0
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:grumble: I never understand the concept of kissing someone that you're no intention of seeing again?
It's happened to me and I think he must have been pretending all along?
Perhaps someone can explain the 'kiss and poof' phenomenon? :huh:
Test the waters, see if there is spark perhaps? Person may not feel anything, thus poof.0 -
:grumble: I never understand the concept of kissing someone that you're no intention of seeing again?
It's happened to me and I think he must have been pretending all along?
Perhaps someone can explain the 'kiss and poof' phenomenon? :huh:
Maybe there was possible spark...and then the person was terrible kisser, so then they poofed........0
