Confessions of a cheater

vazquezmom7

It all started on Sunday, with an invitation to Cicis Pizza Buffet and went down from there. Monday was someone brought me some homemade biscuits to share, then dinner that night could only really be enjoyed with some tortillas. Tuesday was suppose to be a fresh start but the kid's. Cherrios were calling my name by then it was what the heck might as well enjoy the rest of my day since tomorrow would a brand new start. Wednesday morning woke up thinking today I will fast to try to erase the damage. Managed to avoid breakfast including some cranberry muffins (my favorite). But once I stepped outside, Taco bell started not just calling but shouting my name. Oh how I missed thee also. Later that day I decided to go for a run to shake things off. Oh how I enjoyed having the wind run its fingers through my hair. So freeing, so forgiving. My dear husband with no clue of my secretive carb infested ordeal sweetly offered me a cup of coffee with the last of those homemade biscuits. Did I enjoy the after effect of each one of those days? Do I feel full of energy? Ready to take on the world? No, my stomach is bloated into a hot mess that not even a good poop could relieve.

So today brings on a new day, with its yummy temptations. I am going to go searching for my willpower that I left in my car that Sunday afternoon, step on that scale and face the truth. I am going engrave this awful feeling into my head to remind next I think I could handle just one "cheat meal"

Singing off a wannabe fellow keto dieter. (This was suppose to be week 3)

KarlaYP

You're still in week three, just with a few days off plan in there. The fact that you are here is wonderful, and your honesty is building your strength to be more successful for the next time. We all slip, it's getting back up that counts more! Hang in there!

KnitOrMiss

Just some suggestions, should you face these things again.

At Cici's - pull the toppings off the pizza and just eat those. Their sauce is sugar central, so just try to leave as much of it behind as possible. Skip the crust, the pasta, the extra sauces, the sweets, and anything questionable on the salad bar. I've eaten Cici's while full-on keto at 20 TOTAL grams of carbs per day. It is possible.

The homemade biscuits, I probably would have allowed 1/2 of one slathered with butter or something - or maybe a full one if they were small, shared some, then frozen the rest.

Any dinner that "could really only be enjoyed with some tortillas" is actually quite awesome in plate form. Eating fajitas or anything from a plate creates a slow, lingering mindset that allows you to enjoy the flavors in your food more fully. Add extra sour cream, cheese, and guacamole, go light on salsa, and skip the beans, rice, and tortillas. I grew up in Texas, so Tex-Mex is a way of life...

The cheerios - calling your name, I don't know what to say to that other than start thinking of all the reasons you are fighting for. Once you ditch grains a while, they don't call to you much anymore. I still crave sweet things, and I even had some cereal a while back but it was not as awesome as I'd remembered.

Get rid of the mindset of "what the heck, today is shot, tomorrow is new." Every bite is new. Each meal is the chance to get back on plan. Every little thing helps. Taking 10 more steps today than yesterday can raise your base metabolism, even just with a tiny blip. Never discount any choice.

Skipping the cranberry muffins likely left you feeling deprived. I have not eaten Taco Bell in about 2 years. I don't miss it, as I cook similar foods at home quite often. If you do go to taco bell, get things like the meat, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, etc. off the ala carte menu. They don't post it, but they can sell you a side of anything. Remember too that these foods are chemically enhanced to make you crave more. I don't now about you, but I don't want to be tricked by my drug of choice (Mexican food, or whatever) to eating more than I need or want. They use a variant of wheat and MSG in their meats. There are more unpronouncable ingredients in the list and pronouncable ones. Seriously. When I make meat at home, it is meat, seasonings, tomato sauce. That is it. No wheat crap or gluten, etc. Once I realized I could get more food in quantity that tasted better, Taco Bell's siren song stopped playing for me.

For me, this is not about willpower, it is about choice. Do you choose to step on a healthier path? Or do you choose to go down the darker path to poorer health and all that? Because every time you choose one of the things above, you are actively choosing to making yourself unhealthier. (hugs) Sometimes a simple shift in mindset can help.

Instead of thinking of all the things you can't have, start thinking of the things you GET to have. I'm sure there are low carb recipes for cranberry muffins and biscuits. There are for homemade pizza. Low carb tortillas are possible to make (the ones bought have a lot of chemicals). There are types of low carb cereal you can make, or even buy, depending on where you live. I batch cook taco meat. Then I eat AS MUCH AS I WANT. The money and junk I save are worth their weight in gold...

Hope something in here clicks for you and helps a little bit.

Also, for me, it does help to get rid of "tomorrow is a new day" period. Tomorrow is a new day, but if you're constantly starting over, that discounts anything you've done before, for good or bad. Me personally, succeeding today means way more to me if I was off the wagon yesterday or all last week. The value of that success is directly tied to the degree of difficulty. When you do succeed over this, it will mean so much more to you!!!

NewSue52

I have been there. It's so easy to get on that slippery slide. You know what to do so that's the hard part. Now comes the best part. Keep logging, even if there is bad stuff involved. Keep reading MFP and try again. Get away from the idea of "starting again tomorrow." Its a bad trap to fall into. Start again today, right now.

We're on your side and willing to help. Put on your big girl panties and get going!

lithezebra

Just get back on track, now, and carry on!

vazquezmom7

Thanks for all your responses. It was an eye opener reading @DittoDan post then seeing his food diary. He had a slip for lunch with Church's chicken but was back on track for dinner. I need start seeing as one meal at a.time. Just like what @KnitOrMiss said.

Also on a side note, I am not so sure if it is a keto side effect but everyone of you has a positive outlook. Even when you mess up. I lurked in here for awhile before I decided to make the choice but I really like the positive vibe I get from this group.

neohdiver

vazquezmom7 wrote: »

It all started on Sunday, with an invitation to Cicis Pizza Buffet

I love Cicis. After getting my diabetes diagnosis 5 weeks ago tomorrow, I briefly contemplated going back there for one last buffet - but talked myself out of it. But for the fact that I have diabetes, I would allow myself an occasional cheat day - I've done that with other changes in eating styles I've made and it works out well. But my prior changes in eating style (for as long as a half-dozen years) were not for health reasons, and did not have the potential health consequences that taking a cheat day does with diabetes.

A single cheat day for me is no big deal (under ordinary circumstances). Good Luck!

KnitOrMiss

vazquezmom7 wrote: »

Thanks for all your responses. It was an eye opener reading @DittoDan post then seeing his food diary. He had a slip for lunch with Church's chicken but was back on track for dinner. I need start seeing as one meal at a.time. Just like what @KnitOrMiss said.

Also on a side note, I am not so sure if it is a keto side effect but everyone of you has a positive outlook. Even when you mess up. I lurked in here for awhile before I decided to make the choice but I really like the positive vibe I get from this group.

Honestly, I think to a certain extent, it truly is a low carb side effect of having a more positive, forgiving, understanding, supportive outlook. I'm far more forgiving of myself and my choices since I made the decision that guilt over a choice was worse than any carb or calorie could ever be. I understand that this isn't a simple math equation - our bodies are going to do what they will do, all we can do is make the better choices out of our available options (the best isn't maintainable - making a better choice can be done most of the time), and give that mysterious body the best we can. Most of us who have been here a while realize that we didn't get here overnight, and overnight - or one day, one week, one month, cannot possible undo the progress we make, particularly when we work on the mental side as much as the physical side, etc.

I'm SOOOO glad to see that you had such a positive spin out of all the feedback here. To regain health long term, we do have to learn to go with the flow, adapt on the fly, find comfort in our plan, and just look for the better choices when we can.

KnitOrMiss

neohdiver wrote: »

vazquezmom7 wrote: »

It all started on Sunday, with an invitation to Cicis Pizza Buffet

I love Cicis. After getting my diabetes diagnosis 5 weeks ago tomorrow, I briefly contemplated going back there for one last buffet - but talked myself out of it. But for the fact that I have diabetes, I would allow myself an occasional cheat day - I've done that with other changes in eating styles I've made and it works out well. But my prior changes in eating style (for as long as a half-dozen years) were not for health reasons, and did not have the potential health consequences that taking a cheat day does with diabetes.

A single cheat day for me is no big deal (under ordinary circumstances). Good Luck!

I find that any "off plan" eating I do, I make it a conscious choice, and minimize it as much as possible. When I do that, embrace it and revel it in, with the next heartbeat, it's far easier to get right back on plan. That being said, no, it isn't worth it when you're fighting a health condition. Just remember that we're only human, and once in a while you will slip up in some way. If you do it with intention and awareness, you keep the power there!

Oh, and I find homemade crustless pizza 10,000 times better than the pizza from Cici's - plus, done right, it is completely on plan for low carbing. Once your taste buds start to change, you'll find little nice things like that, too.

krazyforyou

I too am a cheater. " hangs head " my food of choice is ice cream. Yes the whole pint with reddi whip too. Why can't I leave thee alone I cry. No answer to be heard. I shall continue to low carb even with these slip ups.

fatchimom

Peanut butter is the devil!!!! Lately I'll have an Atkins bar with the jar of peanut butter handy to apply a spoonful to each bite!!! Somebody stop me!!!!!!

robosphere

Fatchimom, that is my big weakness too. I'll just go over to the PB jar with a big spoon, scoop it out and eat it. I love peanut butter forever!

daylitemag

Hang in there OP! I wish I had a silver-bullet solution to offer. I think most on this forum can relate to the Slippery-slope-syndrome. Anyone with significant, long term weight issues understands EXACTLY where you are coming from. All I can really say is that I genuinely wish you good luck.

Sunny_Bunny_

I have been able to avoid going off plan so far. I've definitely had some cravings, but not too bad and not for what had been my problem prior to eating Keto (sour candy). I personally notice the cravings for sweet growing if my carbs are creeping up. Even if it's just from fiber. But it also happens if I use too much artificial sweetener and when I've made Keto desserts or fat bombs.
I think it helps a lot if you can reprogram your mind in how you see those foods you actually don't want to eat. Instead of them being foods that aren't "allowed" in your "diet", try to view them as foods that make people, pretty much most people eventually, sick, slow and foggy. If you can see someone eating bread and the thoughts going through your head are "That poor guy has no idea what happens to the body with that 'food'" instead of "OMG! Bread! I haven't had it in literally 4eva! I need dat!" It makes it a lot easier to resist. I don't know what the secret is to flipping that switch... Maybe reading the resources that explain the negative health effects of the stuff we avoid to try to have that knowledge become instinctive.
I know that doesn't work as easily for everyone. But when I see someone eating bread or sugary foods, my brain views it equally as unappealing as someone smoking. If you haven't tried changing the thinking yet, it may help when future challenges come up.

ki4eld

We all do it and we all forgive ourselves and move on. As others have said, "Each bite is a new chance to make a better choice." Now that I live that philosophy, I sometimes realize that a bite or two of that indulgence is really all I needed in the first place.

elize7

This is an awesome thread! For two months I've been struggling with the last 10 pounds/maintenence adjustment issues after losing 120 on keto. Carb and calorie creep are so insidious! I am realizing that even upping my carbs a teensy, tiny bit triggers massive irresistible carb cravings for me - killer sweet tooth.
I had to go back on strict keto, am going to stay on it while losing the last 10, and am seeking all kinds of info on finding a sustainable maintenence plan in the meantime!
The concept of cheating and slips, vs making non weight loss choices is very much on my mind right now and I have not currently found a solution for myself. It"s awesome to read about other fitness pals' challenges because it gives me insight and helps me to not feel so alone and desperate! So many thanks go out to all who share the good, the bad, and the ugly!

daylitemag

elize7 wrote: »

This is an awesome thread! For two months I've been struggling with the last 10 pounds/maintenence adjustment issues after losing 120 on keto. Carb and calorie creep are so insidious! I am realizing that even upping my carbs a teensy, tiny bit triggers massive irresistible carb cravings for me - killer sweet tooth.
I had to go back on strict keto, am going to stay on it while losing the last 10, and am seeking all kinds of info on finding a sustainable maintenence plan in the meantime!
The concept of cheating and slips, vs making non weight loss choices is very much on my mind right now and I have not currently found a solution for myself. It"s awesome to read about other fitness pals' challenges because it gives me insight and helps me to not feel so alone and desperate! So many thanks go out to all who share the good, the bad, and the ugly!

People like you are my RL heroes! 120LBS!!! Woot, woot! That is so inspiring to me. I'm at the beginning (again) of my journey and that is the amount that I need to lose. To know that others have succeeded is inspirational. Thank you for sharing.

tlmeyn

I hear you about the meal that can only be enjoyed with tortillas. I miss real Mexican food. SO. Much.. And will have lots of it in January.... But I can't seem to eat it without the tortillas.not the flour tortillas, but the authentic corn tortillas. That said. I avoid Mexican... But I could of course have a plate of fajitas or carnitas without. Every time I give in and have carbs (on Halloween, I had half a scoop of ice cream with hot berries sauce). It takes days to make the cravings stop again. But I am strong enough to ignore that fact that I have a newly discovered, whole, unopened bag of Doritos in a cabinet.

I just keep thinking that if I give in I will put 10 pounds back on in a week!
And I know the cravings will get stronger.
You can do it. Have you made progress so far? Do you want tot go back to square one? NO!
We are all here for each other....

Thank you for your honesty!

deksgrl

I try not to think of them as "cheats". Just choices. I second the thing about not letting it derail a whole day. Also, fasting never helps me get back on track. It just makes me feel more run down and like a punishment. I guess if you have the mindset that you "cheated" then you deserve to be punished. It just makes me feel worse physically. Instead, I load up on some yummy fats to fuel my body and to remind myself that eating that way is much better than those rotten carbs that make me feel so awful.

vazquezmom7

Update - Ok I am back on track. I gained 3lbs after my 4 day trip to Carbland. Since I am the meal planner and cook, I need to do better on planning. No excuses, I need to stay FOCUS.

Also another question, why is it that when I was in carbland, my bowel movements were very regular but when I am in keto I struggle? I am eating veggies and have about 2 tablespoon of coconut oil and butter daily? Any suggestions?

KenSmith108

I can't keep olive oil in me. Every time cooked or raw, same results.

OR

wabmester

vazquezmom7 wrote: »

why is it that when I was in carbland, my bowel movements were very regular but when I am in keto I struggle? I am eating veggies and have about 2 tablespoon of coconut oil and butter daily? Any suggestions?

Are you eating a lot of cheese? That was my problem when I first tried low-carb about 10 years ago. No issues this time after learning that lesson.

neohdiver

wabmester wrote: »

vazquezmom7 wrote: »

why is it that when I was in carbland, my bowel movements were very regular but when I am in keto I struggle? I am eating veggies and have about 2 tablespoon of coconut oil and butter daily? Any suggestions?

Are you eating a lot of cheese? That was my problem when I first tried low-carb about 10 years ago. No issues this time after learning that lesson.

Were you eating a higher volume in carbland? My regularity has more to do with food-in-food (in another form) out, than with content of the food. When I eat a large volume, I am predictably regular. Otherwise - less so. But if I'm not straining (because of constipation), I don't worry about it.

daylitemag

vazquezmom7 wrote: »

Update - Ok I am back on track. I gained 3lbs after my 4 day trip to Carbland. Since I am the meal planner and cook, I need to do better on planning. No excuses, I need to stay FOCUS.

Also another question, why is it that when I was in carbland, my bowel movements were very regular but when I am in keto I struggle? I am eating veggies and have about 2 tablespoon of coconut oil and butter daily? Any suggestions?

Isn't in maddening how a slip of just 4 days can result in 3LBS of weight gain!! When I think how hard it is to lose weight it isn't fair that we can gain it back so fast.

macchiatto

I've had some of those struggles. There's some good advice in this thread!

macchiatto

And actually, just today for lunch the fam wanted to go to a pizza place. I ordered a steak salad but the large pepperoni pizza in the middle of the table was tempting. I ate just the pepperoni and cheese off of two small square slices and it was very satisfying. I've also done a little "skillet pizza" for myself when the fam is having pizza--just mozzarella with pepperoni on top--and that's really good, too.

lrosemoore1

Ive got to try the skillet pizza, sounds great!
I had a cheat day yesterday, preplanned at least. My 13 yr old was in a chili chowder cookoff and i look forward to it. I didn't have soda (my number 1 carb addiction ) or the yummy breads. Afterwards my daughter got a whoopie pie and I made her share it with her brother, but broke it into 3 pieces and savored the smallest piece like a starving animal...I blamed the potato carbs for my lack of contol. Today Im back on the lchf wagon to start week 4. Every one is so supportive here and finding this post is incredibly motivating. Thanks, and keep up the good work!

radiii

vazquezmom7 wrote: »

Also on a side note, I am not so sure if it is a keto side effect but everyone of you has a positive outlook. Even when you mess up. I lurked in here for awhile before I decided to make the choice but I really like the positive vibe I get from this group.

For me I've finally learned that if I get down on myself or beat myself up for making a mistake, it really just compounds the mistake and makes me more likely to spiral out of control. This is true in all parts of my life, not just with food. I still try to look at choices I make that aren't the best and figure out how to do better in the future, I'm still a crazy perfectionist, just with a little less of the "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU YOU IDIOT" voice yelling at myself when I slip up.

Also, its very easy to give advice, less easy to follow/practice it 100% of the time.

Congrats on getting back on track!

MizTenaciousT

There's a lot of great advice in this thread! The only thing I would add, really for anyone with specific food triggers, is to find out if there are keto versions of your preferred treats. For example, making a small batch of keto friendly ice cream isn't hard, plus you'll be satisfied on much less because of the awesomeness of keto ratios. Don't give up guys! Like many have said, it's about the choices we make, and every meal is a choice. Stick with it and you will see results!