"Desexualizing self" and clothing (men)

24

Replies

  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    A man can never go wrong with a loose tee (plain, not a tee shirt but rather a more tissue-type tee) and a good pair of jeans in the summer and a flannel plaid button up in the winter. Plaid makes my heart swoon. Later when I'm on the computer I can show some examples from websites.

    Please do. Tissue type T- ?

    Like a thinner material. Not like a Hanes tee-shirt.
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
    I think it's harder for a man to "desexualize" himself than it is for a woman. As far as looking good, a guy can look great in a pair of nice jeans and a nice T-shirt or a polo and sneakers. Now I personally think jeans and a T-shirt (or flannel shirt in winter) paired with work boots is very hot! The biggest issue is that the clothes fit properly not be all baggy and frumpy looking.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,252 Member
    I'm not the right person to ask at all. I'm the girl that's content in the jeans and tank top 90% of the time, and I could care less about mens fashion - except when the hems are rolled up so the pants become high waters. No one looks attractive in that. I prefer my men to be dressed down so that we're fine chillin' at home, or if we feel like picking up and going on a hike all we'd have to do is put on shoes.

    I hear ya. When I'm at home, I'm most comfortable in a t-shirt (white under shirt) at least in warmer weather. but I want to dress better than I have been in public most of the time, which means better professional attire when required for school/work, and more trendy clothing when I'm on a date with a lady.

    What is the female equivalent to wearing a t-shirt (undershirt) at home, anyway? T-shirt? Tank top? I want a girl who is comfortable like this at home.

    The fit of your clothes matters 500x more than the brand name. You also need to dress for your audiance so we can't say "wear such and such" as it might look out of place in certain situations.

    I agree, to a point. Like, what you mean is brand really doesn't matter, but it's how it fits. Can you give me an example of what you consider well-fitted for casual guys' clothing?

    I live in tank tops and tights or fuzzy pants at home.. BUt I wear tank tops out alot to....... Usually with jeans but since I go to a lot of dive stlye bars my attire is appropriate

    Bobbie Fett :tongue:


    lol I still have that tank top and wear it all the time
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    A man can never go wrong with a loose tee (plain, not a tee shirt but rather a more tissue-type tee) and a good pair of jeans in the summer and a flannel plaid button up in the winter. Plaid makes my heart swoon. Later when I'm on the computer I can show some examples from websites.

    Male no-nos:
    - jean shorts
    - immature logos on tee-shirts. You're a grown man not a child.
    - clothes with holes and tears. If your jeans have a tear hike your booty down to the store and get more.
    - Ed Hardy
    - clothes with logos plastered all over.
    - socks with sandals. Why do men do that!?

    Learn what looks good on you. Take some selfies and see what you think. Take your clothes for a test drive with the tags on and if they're awkward return them.

    The only things on this list I agree with are jean shorts, Ed Hardy, clothes with logos all over and socks with sandals as no-nos. Oh and crocs.

    A good fiting hanes' t-shirt can be sexy with a pair of well worn jeans with a couple small holes.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,252 Member
    A man can never go wrong with a loose tee (plain, not a tee shirt but rather a more tissue-type tee) and a good pair of jeans in the summer and a flannel plaid button up in the winter. Plaid makes my heart swoon. Later when I'm on the computer I can show some examples from websites.

    Male no-nos:
    - jean shorts
    - immature logos on tee-shirts. You're a grown man not a child.
    - clothes with holes and tears. If your jeans have a tear hike your booty down to the store and get more.
    - Ed Hardy
    - clothes with logos plastered all over.
    - socks with sandals. Why do men do that!?

    Learn what looks good on you. Take some selfies and see what you think. Take your clothes for a test drive with the tags on and if they're awkward return them.

    I like T-shirts with logos/ quotes on them ......And some tears are supposed to be in the clothes lol.....But yeah no sock with sandals..ever .............

    Ed Hardy always makes me think of guys having thei mid-life crisis
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    I'm not the right person to ask at all. I'm the girl that's content in the jeans and tank top 90% of the time, and I could care less about mens fashion - except when the hems are rolled up so the pants become high waters. No one looks attractive in that. I prefer my men to be dressed down so that we're fine chillin' at home, or if we feel like picking up and going on a hike all we'd have to do is put on shoes.

    I hear ya. When I'm at home, I'm most comfortable in a t-shirt (white under shirt) at least in warmer weather. but I want to dress better than I have been in public most of the time, which means better professional attire when required for school/work, and more trendy clothing when I'm on a date with a lady.

    What is the female equivalent to wearing a t-shirt (undershirt) at home, anyway? T-shirt? Tank top? I want a girl who is comfortable like this at home.

    The fit of your clothes matters 500x more than the brand name. You also need to dress for your audiance so we can't say "wear such and such" as it might look out of place in certain situations.

    I agree, to a point. Like, what you mean is brand really doesn't matter, but it's how it fits. Can you give me an example of what you consider well-fitted for casual guys' clothing?

    I live in tank tops and tights or fuzzy pants at home.. BUt I wear tank tops out alot to....... Usually with jeans but since I go to a lot of dive stlye bars my attire is appropriate

    ****, at home I wear as little as possible. Clothes suck. If my roomie is home I'll throw on pajama shorts and a tank top, but if I'm by myself it's naked time.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    I think most women and most men do not care about why the other is wearing as long as they're attracted to them. We all have preferences though. I prefer the all American guy. I love when my guy where's a cap, jeans and a nice tee. If we are going out, then a nicer top.
    Of course, if my bf would have shown up all sloppy looking (ripped up tee, dirty jeans etc), I don't think I would have been attracted to him. So though clothes matter, it's more of a package deal. I wouldn't worry about where you shop, I'd be more concerned you're wearing what's comfortable and what makes you feel confident.

    There's a difference between not caring about clothes and being slovenly and unhygienic :laugh:
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    [img]http://i623.photobucket.com/albums/tt315/latidagirls/Mens Clothing/exotic.jpg[/img]

    I would say DONT roc this with dad jeans

    sorry pic is so big
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    If you're really that concerned you can always meet with a personal shopper
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
    I had to look up Ed Hardy. When I did, a derogatory slang word starting with "d" and ending with "g" came up as one of the first results.
    Ewww.

    I hate jean shorts (but had a couple pairs in grade school when they were popular), and I never wear sandles (even without socks).

    The tissue t-shirts sound like a poor excuse by factories to use less material and would probably not last long the way I'm rough with mine.

    What in the world are dad jeans???
    I usually end up buying jeans a little loose, because the ones that are the right for my waist size (30 inches; that would be a size 31) always end up way too tight in the crotch. I can't sit in them.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    [img]http://i623.photobucket.com/albums/tt315/latidagirls/Mens Clothing/trout.jpg[/img]

    Not this either, haha
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    dad jeans

    pleated_denim.jpg

    dadjeans2.jpg
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
    Those don't look the same. You mean pleated? I've never seen pleated jeans before. Are the ones Obama is wearing even pleated? I can't tell from that. Any more examples? Trying to figure out if my jeans fit that type or not.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    Those don't look the same. You mean pleated? I've never seen pleated jeans before. Are the ones Obama is wearing even pleated? I can't tell from that. Any more examples? Trying to figure out if my jeans fit that type or not.

    It is the overall look of the jeans you need to look at just like mom jeans can be pleated or not pleated.
    10 Things Wrong with Wearing "Dad Jeans"
    Question: What is wrong with them?


    1. They give men a pancake-butt that resembles the saggy bottom of a post-menopausal woman. Enough said. Stop reading if you are easily offended.
    2. They do not flatter you OR your junk. I'm not even going to delve into this point, for the obvious reasons. All I'm saying is that the fluffy front of dad jeans makes your frontside look airy like a plastic grocery bag.
    3. The high rise or long zipper creates a really unflattering midsection. The worst is when the rise hits at the smallest part of your waist. The best rise is below the waist, at the hip-bone. So much sexier. There is no debate.
    4. Dad jeans NEVER appear long enough. It's because they are narrow at the ankle to the point where they sit on top of your shoes. Jeans should NEVER be more than 1" off the ground.
    5. Consistency of color. The wash of "dad jeans" is usually a consistent, all-over, dye that fits the name "blue jeans" to a tee. The problem with this is that it's extremely outdated. Jeans are no longer called "blue jeans" for a reason- they come in multiple shades, colors, and tones! Unless you are 50+ you really need to jump on the bandwagon that we call "distressed denim."
    6. The seams are lighter in color because the dye wears off. If you think this makes your jeans look "hip" and "distressed" you are mistaken. The unevenly faded seams simply create an ugly distraction from the rest of the jeans.
    7. "Dad jeans" are NOT cheaper. You might feel like all other styles and brands of jeans are going to be more expensive than your good ol' trusty "dad jeans." Well, you're wrong. Nowadays, you can get flattering denim at any price point (from $10 to $100).
    8. Tucking a shirt into "dad jeans" is the ULTIMATE failure. I would rather see you forget to wear underwear than to make this mistake. If you are in your twenties, this will really age you.
    9. There are only two directions for "dad jeans" to go-- either like a toddler with a stinky diaper, or a 40 year old virgin. Take your pick.
    10. I will give you a wedgie. Seriously, when I see these jeans I want to take hold of his belt-loop and yank as hard as I can. The jeans already look like they're riding up WAY too much on their own, so someone either needs to pull them down or yank them up. A lesson needs teaching.
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
    So they're just regular, non-flattering jeans.

    Yeah, I'd say mine fit that category. btw, I wear them loose/too long, too.
    So what's the other choice?

    This is starting to make sense. A girl told me in college I looked like a cartoon character the way I was dressed (regular sweat shirt and jeans).

    Clearly I need help qith this, so keep the advice coming.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    these are do's (other than the one on the far right don't roll your pants) but that is how pants are suppose to fit a guy.

    fob_mar_29_2011.jpg
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
    these are do's (other than the one on the far right don't roll your pants) but that is how pants are suppose to fit a guy.

    fob_mar_29_2011.jpg

    Looks kind of tight in the crotch...like it might feel too small when sitting down. Maybe I'm just a raving disfashionist mess and need to give up my addiction to loose pants??? Lol. I honestly feel sexier in my lounge clothes than I in the stuff I wear out in the fall and winter...to the point I dread getting dressed That's not a good sign, is it?
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    these are do's (other than the one on the far right don't roll your pants) but that is how pants are suppose to fit a guy.

    fob_mar_29_2011.jpg

    Looks kind of tight in the crotch...like it might feel too small when sitting down. Maybe I'm just a raving disfashionist mess and need to give up my addiction to loose pants??? Lol. I honestly feel sexier in my lounge clothes than I in the stuff I wear out in the fall and winter...to the point I dread getting dressed That's not a good sign, is it?

    It's not a bad sign, I was just trying to say that if you want a girl who is an 8 out of ten fashionista then you'd have to step up your own game.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Looks kind of tight in the crotch...like it might feel too small when sitting down

    Is that your way of bragging about a big d*ck?
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    also, sometimes you can get some ideas online, I've used polyvore a few times to get ideas for looks that I would like to try.

    I believe they have a version for men: http://www.polyvore.com/men/collection?id=178127

    look around and see what style is similar to yours and get ideas of how to polish it up a bit
    I like this.

    What I normally suggest to people who ask is to look around at people they think dress well (stars, or just normal people in the street even) and just buy similar clothes. Then of course, there is the fit (relative to your own height/weight too).
    But that's a start.
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
    Looks kind of tight in the crotch...like it might feel too small when sitting down

    Is that your way of bragging about a big d*ck?

    No, I'm serious. I have this problem with pants all the time. I don't know why exactly (anatomically what the reason is), and it doesn't really matter. I don't know if the issue is what you said, or that waist structure is different from how most are, or what. I've always bought pants with waist sizes 2-4 inches bigger for comfort in that area when I have that issue. Not all pants have the issue. Many jeans do, some dress pants do, and some shorts do. Others don't.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Those don't look the same. You mean pleated? I've never seen pleated jeans before. Are the ones Obama is wearing even pleated? I can't tell from that. Any more examples? Trying to figure out if my jeans fit that type or not.

    It is the overall look of the jeans you need to look at just like mom jeans can be pleated or not pleated.
    10 Things Wrong with Wearing "Dad Jeans"
    Question: What is wrong with them?


    1. They give men a pancake-butt that resembles the saggy bottom of a post-menopausal woman. Enough said. Stop reading if you are easily offended.
    2. They do not flatter you OR your junk. I'm not even going to delve into this point, for the obvious reasons. All I'm saying is that the fluffy front of dad jeans makes your frontside look airy like a plastic grocery bag.
    3. The high rise or long zipper creates a really unflattering midsection. The worst is when the rise hits at the smallest part of your waist. The best rise is below the waist, at the hip-bone. So much sexier. There is no debate.
    4. Dad jeans NEVER appear long enough. It's because they are narrow at the ankle to the point where they sit on top of your shoes. Jeans should NEVER be more than 1" off the ground.
    5. Consistency of color. The wash of "dad jeans" is usually a consistent, all-over, dye that fits the name "blue jeans" to a tee. The problem with this is that it's extremely outdated. Jeans are no longer called "blue jeans" for a reason- they come in multiple shades, colors, and tones! Unless you are 50+ you really need to jump on the bandwagon that we call "distressed denim."
    6. The seams are lighter in color because the dye wears off. If you think this makes your jeans look "hip" and "distressed" you are mistaken. The unevenly faded seams simply create an ugly distraction from the rest of the jeans.
    7. "Dad jeans" are NOT cheaper. You might feel like all other styles and brands of jeans are going to be more expensive than your good ol' trusty "dad jeans." Well, you're wrong. Nowadays, you can get flattering denim at any price point (from $10 to $100).
    8. Tucking a shirt into "dad jeans" is the ULTIMATE failure. I would rather see you forget to wear underwear than to make this mistake. If you are in your twenties, this will really age you.
    9. There are only two directions for "dad jeans" to go-- either like a toddler with a stinky diaper, or a 40 year old virgin. Take your pick.
    10. I will give you a wedgie. Seriously, when I see these jeans I want to take hold of his belt-loop and yank as hard as I can. The jeans already look like they're riding up WAY too much on their own, so someone either needs to pull them down or yank them up. A lesson needs teaching.

    Hhahaha OMG I :heart: YOU...LOLOLOL
  • Tube_socks
    Tube_socks Posts: 808 Member
    these are do's (other than the one on the far right don't roll your pants) but that is how pants are suppose to fit a guy.

    fob_mar_29_2011.jpg

    I do not like the style of any of those... well maybe the last one.

    And I like tees with funny immature sayings or pics. Bf doesn't wear them but I bought him one. It's a pic of sunglasses and it says "shady" on it.. hehe He has yet to wear it. :(
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    these are do's (other than the one on the far right don't roll your pants) but that is how pants are suppose to fit a guy.

    fob_mar_29_2011.jpg

    THANK YOU FOR THIS!

    I was going to try and find something like this but I was feeling like it was going to be a daunting task.

    That is how pants are supposed to fit. Fitted but not skin tight.

    (Dad jeans are awful. No dad jeans. OP you can also get pants tailored if they fit good in one place but not in another.)

    Not that you necessarily wear suits but keep this in mind:

    1764edc04d542777ea06877fc0328d22.jpg

    It's about the cut and fit of your clothes. A tee-shirt will not look good if it is five sizes too big or skin tight. Pants shouldn't be too long or too short.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Jeans.jpg

    Sexy

    [img]http://i435.photobucket.com/albums/qq73/Hallelujah_ok/HOLLISTER/MENS TSHIRT/Tshirt_02.jpg[/img]

    Acceptable/Plain

    Converse.jpg

    Every one should own a pair, no matter how old they are.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Another good example of how jeans should fit.

    vmoQubc.jpg

    I love simple outfits on men, nice shirt, good fitting pants. Make a note here. Which shorts make more of an impression?

    cn6573958.jpg

    OR

    cn6525198.jpg

    I think the answer (at least for me) is obvious. There is a time and place for number two but for me, number one is the obvious answer for tooling around town.

    And please no sneakers. For summer, I love Topsiders on men.

    0197640_1_700x700.jpg
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
    Great advice so far!!

    To give you all an idea of the type of t-shirt I usually wear in the fall when it's a bit colder. The headless model also seems to have the same body structure as me, so you get an even better idea from these of how I look in them:

    21s9zcMVg7L.jpg

    31m5GiKjjEL.jpg

    Go or no go? I don't really see anyone else wearing them...so that could be good or bad (meaning horrible style or a unique style niche).
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    I think fashion in England is different to America, but universally HOW jeans fit is key! And good fitting jeans dont come out of o grocery store here!! :noway: You need to buy some Levi's or Diesel or Armani or some cool brand name popular in America?? I dont really know what works out there, but here, you can definitely tell if a guy is wearing a shop brand rather than a designer brand.... We have specialist jeans shops where the guys find the best fitting jeans possible. Go to one of those (if they exist out there?) and ask for shoppers assistance.

    Also, iron your clothes! I met a guy on a date who had an unironed t-shirt on and I he totally turned me off. I just thought if you can't be bothered to do that manscaping must be out of the question!! :laugh:

    But seriously, I think some effort on your appearance on a date is mandatory, and goes both ways.

    But as for sex appeal, I dont think men can dress like 'one of the girls' like women can dress as 'one of the guys. So whilst you may need to buy some well fitting jeans, you dont need to worry about looking like a man! :huh: And as the ladies have said here, if the whole package is attractive, then the clothes are usually secondary. Women kinda rise to the challenge of re-dressing their man!! lol
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Great advice so far!!

    To give you all an idea of the type of t-shirt I usually wear in the fall when it's a bit colder. The headless model also seems to have the same body structure as me, so you get an even better idea from these of how I look in them:

    21s9zcMVg7L.jpg

    31m5GiKjjEL.jpg

    Go or no go? I don't really see anyone else wearing them...so that could be good or bad (meaning horrible style or a unique style niche).

    I actually like those shirts a lot. You've got a good jumping off point. I would go for some more fitted pants/jeans. Anna is right, invest in one good pair of jeans! A good pair of shoes is key. Topsiders are great, and I really like boots like the one Daniel Craig is wearing in that picture. Clarks also has some good shoes.

    To me, a man can't go wrong with a good flannel plaid shirt, polos and good tee-shirts.

    I love the style of the guy on this site, only I'm not digging the rolled up pants and some of the accessories. But he looks confident in his clothes and that is what matters. AND THEY FIT HIM!! To me, most men wear ill-fitted clothes.

    http://www.averagemanfitnessandstyle.com/

    wiwt.jpg

    wiwt2.jpg
    I've no idea how old you are, but this is do-able for the average man. You can certainly tone down the color but he has a good rhythm going. Plain tee-shirt with a cardigan/button-down over it, well-tailored pants and a great shoe.
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
    I think fashion in England is different to America, but universally HOW jeans fit is key! And good fitting jeans dont come out of o grocery store here!! :noway: You need to buy some Levi's or Diesel or Armani or some cool brand name popular in America?? I dont really know what works out there, but here, you can definitely tell if a guy is wearing a shop brand rather than a designer brand.... We have specialist jeans shops where the guys find the best fitting jeans possible. Go to one of those (if they exist out there?) and ask for shoppers assistance.

    Also, iron your clothes! I met a guy on a date who had an unironed t-shirt on and I he totally turned me off. I just thought if you can't be bothered to do that manscaping must be out of the question!! :laugh:

    But seriously, I think some effort on your appearance on a date is mandatory, and goes both ways.

    But as for sex appeal, I dont think men can dress like 'one of the girls' like women can dress as 'one of the guys. So whilst you may need to buy some well fitting jeans, you dont need to worry about looking like a man! :huh: And as the ladies have said here, if the whole package is attractive, then the clothes are usually secondary. Women kinda rise to the challenge of re-dressing their man!! lol

    Great post. Gave me a chuckle at some points. I feel like sometimes I'm really out of sync clothing-wise though (not all the time, but more often than not).

    And that is precisely what all the women are doing in this thread...undressing and redressing me. I love it!