I find myself lying to family and friends?

daylitemag

Great comments everyone! I am quite open about trying to lose weight and will answer questions from anyone who asks. As I've said in other posts, this ain't my first rodeo. I've lost weight many times and dealt with the questions and positive comments from people who know me.

There are just certain situations where it is easier for me to tell "a little white lie" than it is to be completely honest.

Alcohol is something I have to deal with both in my personal and professional life. It's always been a part of my life. As I get older (47 now) it becomes less so. I drink much less now than I did when I was younger. Nowadays I try to limit drinking to one day a week and try to make the most of it. By that I mean, there has to be a good reason before I will consume those calories. For example, if it will be good for business/networking or if it is with close friends in a social setting. I never drink at home (wife doesn't drink) and even now when I do drink I consume far less than I did when I was younger.

Couchpotato39

You definitely need to do what's right for you. When I first started in June I deliberately turned down invitations where I couldn't control my food and I offered to be DD when there was a situation that involved alcohol. Since then, I have started bringing low carb friendly snacks and most of my friends and family are on board now that they have seen how much healthier I am. I do have one issue with a friend who is having a cookie swap at her house. I told her that I couldn't go because that would be the equivalent of inviting an alcoholic to a wine tasting. She thinks I am a little nuts but I am standing firm on this one. I thought about lying about having a conflict or some other excuse but decided to be honest because that's the truth. I'm a food addict and some things I just can't have, even in a small portion.

KarlaYP

It was the Grey Cup (America's equivalent to the Super Bowl) though! It's good you chose to avoid the temptation that situation would bring. Your experience during the playoffs showed your weaknesses at this point. I don't believe you will become quite recluse either. I think you made the best decision for your circumstances. Next time you'll be stronger with this woe and able to handle it differently. Best to you!

DietPrada

daylitemag wrote: »

EbonyDahlia wrote: »

@daylitemag I've noticed a consistent feeling about some of your posts that I've read. You seem to be struggling with the emotional aspect of letting go of a certain lifestyle (I felt the same way exactly, it felt like a real loss). I get anxiety at the idea of going to a gathering where there will be alcohol and junk food, where as I used to be the life of the party. It does get easier. But I still see these things as a threat to my health as I don't trust myself to stand around like boring Bob and "be good". I have been known to lie to friends who suggest "catching up at the pub", telling them I wasn't well and couldn't make it. I allow myself to go occasionally, but not all the time anymore. I also still get a bit grumpy when my partner decides to have a few beers on the weekend, I mean it's his right to do so but it annoys me because I either join him, or feel like I'm missing out being all sober and sensible.

One thing that has helped though is remembering where 20 years of drinking and smoking and eating with abandon has gotten me, and accepting that there comes a time where you either stop, or pay the price with a short and unhealthy life. I'm much more scared of my mortality at 40 than I was at 20.

You've pretty much nailed it. I've spent my entire life drinking and eating like the proverbial party animal. All of my friends do the same. It is also a big part of my profession. I could literally be out every night of the week at one function or another. It scares the heck out of me the idea of trying to change this as it essentially means changing who I am at a basic level. However as I get older I'm finding it easier to say no to some things and in this case it was easier to just pretend I was sick. This particular crowd would not have understood me saying I'm watching what I eat. We are talking typical "guy guys" who live to raz one and other and who drink at every occasion. To hang around with them and not drink would be boring as hell.

I've also spent years in this type of professional environment. It's a very hard thing to get past because you're right, it's a lifestyle that defines you.

deksgrl

I haven't lied to avoid events with food/drink. I go and either choose to indulge, or not to indulge in whatever. There is always something you can substitute that isn't a problem. It hasn't made my weight loss grind to a screeching halt. Maybe I would have lost more if I didn't.... but I don't want to sit home thinking "oh, I can't possibly go and consume extra calories." Another option is to budget for those extra calories, you can eat 50 less calories per day for a week to account for the extra at the event. That isn't enough to feel deprived.

lithezebra

I think it's okay to lie in this case!

randiewilliams72

You have to do what's best for you. Don't stress over it

DietPrada

deksgrl wrote: »

I haven't lied to avoid events with food/drink. I go and either choose to indulge, or not to indulge in whatever. There is always something you can substitute that isn't a problem. It hasn't made my weight loss grind to a screeching halt. Maybe I would have lost more if I didn't.... but I don't want to sit home thinking "oh, I can't possibly go and consume extra calories." Another option is to budget for those extra calories, you can eat 50 less calories per day for a week to account for the extra at the event. That isn't enough to feel deprived.

I agree with this, however sometimes there are just too many of these things to be able to "only indulge when you go out" or you're feeling that you're current control is too fragile to risk by such exposure to temptation. After a while you can go to events without it being stressful, but it's important for some to break the cycle first.

marlamp10

I lie when necessary--depends on who I'm dealing with and their discomfort level with whether or not I'm eating normally. I'm all about getting the discussion of what I'm eating/not eating over as quickly as possible. And I have a lot of work-related social events and meals to get through, so I can't afford to indulge "just this once." That's every other day!

I've told people that I had a late breakfast or lunch and am not hungry, or I have a food allergy, or I have blood sugar issues and am under doctor's orders to lay off of [fill in the blank] "while they are running tests." Or that it's causing bad stomach issues and I don't want to throw up. I'll say anything, lol.

The "doctor's orders" one tends to work most quickly. And I feel no guilt at all about it anymore. If that's the only reason people will respect, I'll use it.

110challenge

I'm straight up, don't avoid any social functions I would normally attend, but I do bring my own food. I always let the host know in advance, and it hasn't been an issue at all. Most resist with "well what can you eat, I'm happy to make something else for you" but when I explain that it's not just about the fact that I'm grain-free, I also prelog all of my food and am strict on my macros - which means doing my own meal prep to make sure I know exactly what I'm eating. No one cares, I think most of them are almost kind of fascinated by it even though sometimes they get defensive about their own nutrition.

It helps when people ask how much I've lost, because the number is staggering for how little time it has been, so it's hard to argue that this is working for me.

I'm sure Christmas will be another story, my husbands family is going to be annoyed when I don't eat their 7000 treats (Portuguese family HAHA)