And the she said ....
MostlyWater
Posts: 4,294 Member
So, you all know that last week at Barre Burn I got called old. Or something like that.
On Friday - at the same location but different instructor - I think I got called FAT ! Yes, I've put on some weight lately and maybe my gym clothes aren't that flattering, but at pilates - which I'm doing by dr's orders - and no, I'm not very good at some of the moves - the teacher said that "you're here to get in shape, right"?
To which I wanted to respond, round is a shape but I didn't ... I'm at the upper limit of my weight for my height ..... but what the heck !!!
On Friday - at the same location but different instructor - I think I got called FAT ! Yes, I've put on some weight lately and maybe my gym clothes aren't that flattering, but at pilates - which I'm doing by dr's orders - and no, I'm not very good at some of the moves - the teacher said that "you're here to get in shape, right"?
To which I wanted to respond, round is a shape but I didn't ... I'm at the upper limit of my weight for my height ..... but what the heck !!!
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You're finding some real doilies out there!0
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I don't know how to edit. Doozies not doilies. Freaking autocorrect.0
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Communications can be tricky business since whatever folks say ends up being interpreted.
Back when I was doing karate regularly, one particular instructor used to single me out frequently. She would be encouraging the other students. She said things like if they wanted to succeed against someone like me who could rely on size & strength, their technique needed to be flawless. This wasn't a one-time thing; she did it often. She didn't say I was doing anything wrong but I felt the implied message was that karate was somehow easier for me because of my physique. So one day when she made such a remark, I spoke up and said "And you'd better hope it's not me because I'm big, strong AND my technique is flawless." The instructor gave me a smile and said "I wouldn't want to meet you in a dark alley."
It sounds like you're feeling singled out. Perhaps their attention is intended to be encouraging? Unless they're being directly insulting, perhaps you should extend the benefit of the doubt to them. Just my thoughts...0 -
Dunno. But hey, I'm not going anywhere, so stay tuned ......0
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... and sometimes they use that little bit of edgy sarcasm as a motivator.0
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Maybe you are too sensitive. Honestly it sounds like you have some self esteem issues and are looking for a slight.0
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beemerphile1 wrote: »Maybe you are too sensitive. Honestly it sounds like you have some self esteem issues and are looking for a slight.
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Can you talk to the "new" instructors before class?
They get paid very little to teach these classes and clearly are poorly trained.
Some of the better teachers have day jobs that have trained them to be polite and encouraging or have learned it on their own.0 -
I second RodaRose's comment about instructors being undertrained and underprepared sometimes. I will say that whenever I'm doing something physical I'm usually pretty undefended psychologically, so whatever an instructor might say tends to go straight in. I require kindness and sensitivity in a teacher, and if it's not there, I just won't stay in that class. Maybe that's weenie, but that's the way it is for me.0
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I can say for certain that I don't care for a drill sargent approach to fitness, I prefer a cheerleader.
As far as my self esteem, I have an ego higher than an elephant.
Lastly, Equinox instructors are very well trained and quite well paid. I don't think that's part of it at all.0 -
Agreed about the drill sergeant vs cheerleader. If I want to be barked at, I will get a dog.0
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Agreed about the drill sergeant vs cheerleader. If I want to be barked at, I will get a dog.
Maybe that's the T Shirt @mostlywater should wear to class.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You guys are The Best! Absolutely !!!!0 -
My suggestion would be that if an instructor says something like this, to take him or her aside, alone, after class, and explain how you felt when it was said, simply and politely. Personally, I've had good results with assuming the instructor means well, making them aware of possible negative interpretations of their casual comments, and doing so one-on-one so as not to embarrass *them*. Turnabout (open confrontation) may be satisfying, but I've found it less effective (especially if I intend to continue in the class!).0
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I was not going to attend her class again but it works well for my schedule. I guess I'll see if she says anything else .....0
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Tell her some of the other voices in your head don't much care for her, then wander off muttering about your meds.0
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If she does have anything witty to add, @AnnPT77's advice sounds good... although the voices in my head said to endorse @Farback's advice...MostlyWater wrote: »I was not going to attend her class again but it works well for my schedule. I guess I'll see if she says anything else .....0 -
If she does have anything witty to add, @AnnPT77's advice sounds good... although the voices in my head said to endorse @Farback's advice...MostlyWater wrote: »I was not going to attend her class again but it works well for my schedule. I guess I'll see if she says anything else .....
LOL!0 -
I had something similar happen to me. I was at a circuit interval class the other morning & one of the exercises were burpees. Well I Hate burpees & struggle to do them. I said to the instructor that I will work on them & he replied with
" I had another rather large lady who couldn't do burpees, but by the time I finished training her she could Acheive 10"
Well I walked away feeling like the fattest person in the room. My self esteem was Zero.
But today is another day & I will be practicing burpees & aim to do over 100 -
Oh, geeze! What is wrong with these gym instructors?
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that's pretty funny !!!!!!!0
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But today is another day & I will be practicing burpees & aim to do over 10
I am glad you are not going to let the remark defeat you. I always think of a clever retort after I have walked away. Sometimes that is a good thing. @BBee5064 after reading your comment I thought, "and ya know after working with me you will learn a polite disposition. Hang in there, I'll teach YOU. It really is a Win Win.0 -
Some people just don't know how to act do they?
I have family members who tend to give compliments couched in a negative context............like "you look so much better now"......LOL, or "you look really good just don't get too bulky lifting weights".....or "now that you've lost the weight I hope you can keep it off"..........or "I didn't send you cookies this year because I know you can't eat them".
Uggghhhh, I'd rather just be ignored............thank you very much. I just try to laugh it off but sometimes it's hard. Then I think to myself they're the ones with issues, not me, and move on.0 -
Agree.0
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People are funny that way. It's like they can't resist picking at others.0
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My sister and sisters-in-law are the culprits in my family.......LOL. If my mother were around she would have been one also. My daughters know better!!! Funny, all the men are just plain complimentary!!!!
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