New Year's plans? HELP!!!

AngieViolet

Help!!!! I don't know how to blend my new lifestyle with that of my husband when it comes to celebrating. A nice dinner out or cooking at home, a few drinks, and a movie marathon are out! Party with friends is out. Gatherings with finger foods and champaign is out. It's freezing cold so a walk or hike is out. What do I do? I don't want to give up on celebrations. I married a manly man so doing things like massages and reflecting on the past year is definitely out.

I'm at a complete loss. I was thinking game night, but he really doesn't like games that much. Star Wars marathon came to mind because that could keep his attention, but I would hang myself if I had to witness the constant mindless snacking. Not to be too graphic, but due to the hormonal shifts that come along with rapid weight loss...my monthly visiter has been doing frequent unscheduled visits so intimacy is out. Aghhhhhh!

Why are things easier with food and alcohol? I need to relearn this and I need your help!

ki4eld

It's not that those things are out, unless you want them to be, it's just that you have to approach them differently. Be choosy about what you have for dinner or finger foods. Instead of having a few drinks, have one and sip it.

You have to learn to be happy with different and there's no good or bad time to start. Just start.

gdnplnty

I have found that I am good with carrying something like a fancy wine glass or something but filling it with water or powerade zero. Makes me feel a bit more fancified when we go to gatherings with friends so that I don't feel left out.

You can always go to things, but nibble on what you know you can have. For instance, a cheese cube or a meat slice. Perhaps there is hummus there, but be sure to limit that because that can be a calorie hog in a heartbeat.

Make sure that you go somewhere NOT hungry beforehand and move to another area that doesn't have the food right in front of you.

Somehow, and I do struggle with this, we have to learn to follow our programs while not excluding ourselves from everything, such as social events. We just have to learn to not fall into the trap of being that senseless snackoholic.

**Happy New Year**

garber6th

I basically do the same things as I did before surgery, with less emphasis on food and alcohol. I had surgery to improve my health and quality of life, I don't want to be held hostage to what I think I can't have, or limit doing things I love to do, you know? So I go out, I don't drink, I always have a water bottle and a protein bar handy, and I roll with it. Tonight I am going to a concert with friends. Usually they want to go somewhere to eat after we go out, and I usually go along, and I drink some coffee or tea, or if I haven't eaten for a while I might have something light like soup. Don't stop doing the things you love, just learn to do things differently, and create your new normal! Happy New Year :-)

cmchandler74

Tons of fantastic advice here. It's not limiting what you can do - it's approaching it in different and healthier ways.

That said, at the risk of it being something you loathe, I tend to take the TV/movie marathon nights with the approach of knocking my laundry out of the way at the same time. That way, my hands are kept busy while we watch instead of grabbing food instead. Plus, it's extra movement to burn calories, so bonus.

AngieViolet

Thank you all! I'm torn because I actually don't feel that I'm excluding myself from anything, I just no longer wish to celebrate stuff with food and drink and make substitutions. I'm totally cool with doing an activity and accompanying friends to a restaurant afterwords and drinking water! I'm just looking for something fun. I'm afraid that I've portrayed myself as a victim of circumstances...actually I'm choosing not to center things around food events but around an activity instead. I realize how much I've changed, and I want to blend our life styles together. I'm choosing not to celebrate with food.

Garber6th...love it!! Enjoy! I love ways of focusing on an activity, and eating out is an after thought. I could totally do that.

Cmchandler74...great idea! I decided to use this as well.

Here is what I'm doing today...I spent the morning with a friend, then I went out of town to visit another friend (before parties started). In no way was this a refusal of attendance, but some quality time with friends before the parties bagan. I then bought my husband a nice piece of salmon and the Star Wars boxed set. He was really excited when I told him that I know that I changed the game, but still respected his interest. He has been explaining the movies to me and eating a meal instead of snacking. It has been really nice and means a lot to both of us. I am doing laundry and keeping my hands occupied with folding when difficult.

Thank you all for the advice and ideas. When I'm at a social function, I love the idea of drinking water out of a pretty glass so it's not as obvious.

Happy New Year!!