Tuesday, January 12, 2016

valmaebel

valmaebel

I have noticed that in this day and age, men often don't feel like it's acceptable to be a strong leader. Yet respect is what they need more than love. I can't imagine how hard that history with his ex must be on your hubby Marla. And not much you can do about it now either, except to just be there for him. Those kinds of situations are always the hardest for me as a wife, the ones I can't do anything to really fix it except pray for him and be there for him.
Sherry - I had always wanted four kids. But when I was pregnant with number three, I could tell this was hubby's last or he would probably flip. He never really was excited about kids in the first place. I had to take a lot of time in prayer, and eventually my desires changed. I do think that in the future I would like to foster kids, once our kiddos are grown. But my last pregnancy was very rough on Mel and after youngest child was born, our family felt complete. So I understand the worries about stymied hopes, but it doesn't have to necessarily lead to bitterness in the future if you real with the emotions now.

It's interesting all the talk on marriage. I had a long conversation with my mom about it last night. My sister in law is still having marriage issues and I'm suggesting they fly down here for a little vacation. Also that they talk to my parents. My dad was addicted to drugs and alcohol, and in and out of rehab for the first twelve years of their marriage. But through counseling, and a whole lot of prayer, they stuck it out and went through massive amounts of forgiveness and healing. That was the perspective of marriage I had going in, was that the bond created when you work through those difficult things of life is deep and unbreakable. My dad is a completely different person, loving and doting and truly an inedible husband and father. Communication that was open, honest, but respectful was the norm in my house. I just want my sister in law to see the hope while they're in that dark place. That healing is most definitely possible and that too often, we don't realize how big God is and what he can achieve if we just let him. It was an encouraging conversation with my mom.

On another note, staying up and chatting with hubby every night has definitely improved his demeanor. He's an extrovert, and so coming home after a rough day at a difficult job to isolation was hard on him. Being an introvert, my needs are different. I need isolation each day just to keep sane. It took him a while to understand that and sometimes I have to remind him. . Paid all the bills yesterday as well,and played croquet with the kiddos. productive and fun day!

Have a great Tuesday everyone!

FromHereOnOut

Val, when I said I'd like another child, I don't necessarily mean through pregnancy. I've entertained the ideas of pregnancy, adoption, fostering, and very short term fostering (of unaccompanied refugee children) and in some cases we don't qualify because of language, but overwhelmingly the problem is that my husband says no. I don't want to give up hope though and am not yet ready to accept. Your parents story is so hopeful!! My parents have always been very happily married and he cares for her so lovingly now that she's fallen into dementia, even though she gets confused about who he is. It's amazing.

Well, DH did the tutor today so I didn't get much activity other than school pickups and light housecleaning. I feel like this is my "taper week" before I am alone doing all the running around. Lol. Great news is that I fiiiiiinallllly found a charity to pick up all the stuff I gathered during the massive clean out I've done here. I sorted and binned everything and put it in the foyer outside our apt door, by the elevator backe before Christmas. Lots of charities want it, but none pick up and I don't have a car (it's a truckload actuall!). I will feel like a new person tomorrow when it's really gone instead of towering over me every time I walk out the door. (1 thing going is the crib....which I've obviously held for 5years, hoping....)

DH has one last full day, then it's "go time" for me around here.

agingwithfitness

Yesterday while waiting in small beauty shop for bang cut i heard the two ladies talking about marriage and counseling. It was slow and only 3 of us there. I think its kind of a woman bond that we all want to help each other on our journey.

I am the type of person who deals pretty well with emergencies or bad things that come up, then hours later It hits me and I crumble mentally. When i was a kid at church camp counselor left us on hill to take sick kid back and we got lost. A bunch of girls sat down and cried but I looked all over until i found the boys leader....then i cried. Same thing with a small house fire started by candle, i put out on bed spread, threw the pillows on fire into my hot tub outside (don't know where i got that instant idea) all happened in seconds. I woke up to fire in bedroom...this was years ago mid 90's.

Point is last night after a day of handling hubbies flip outs with calmness and eating good all day, i was alone by fire and went nuts i literally couldnt stop eating and drinking. Had 3 glasses of wine and a ton of food. By bedtime i sat with full almost sick tummy and thought for first time this is just like the past but with food instead of crying.

Now that i see my pattern maybe i can work on it better.