Depresssion?

mk2fit
mk2fit Posts: 730 Member
edited November 28 in Social Groups
I am a little reluctant to admit this, but I think I may have a bit of depression sinking in. I go to bed at 7:30 and toss and turn until 6:00. I feel mostly OK during the day. I exercise for an hour every morning on my elliptical. Weather permitting, I run or walk several miles most days. On bad weather days, I exercise to jessicasmithtv videos on youtube. Am I in a rut? (maybe) Am I tired of the fitness routine? (possibly) Or am I just tired at the almost end of the day? (also possible) Does anyone have any suggestions or brilliant ideas to jump start this lady?
I have been on MFP for a year and a quarter and have lost over 70#. I have been on maintenance for several months.

Replies

  • BBee5064
    BBee5064 Posts: 1,020 Member
    Thank you for sharing how you feel.
    Firstly I would like to say congratulations on ypur great weigh loss. That's inspiring to us all! Maintenance must be bliss? I can't wait to get their :)
    Reading how much exercise you do .. That's a lot in one day. Why now lessen your amount of time & do something else. Take up a hobby ( needle craft, painting etc) or if exercise is really your love something like Pilates ( less intensity). You may just be feeling physically tired. Or the winter weather may be the cause. Or both.
    If it helps. Give us a daily update of how u feel
    The old proverb
    " a friend in need is a friend in deed"

  • JMarcella57
    JMarcella57 Posts: 1,902 Member
    Sometimes, I just need to change things up a bit. A new hill to climb, new hobby to explore, a different exercise, even a new goal to embrace. It sounds appropriate that you have reach a hard earned goal and now there is that natural feeling to embrace it, celebrate it and look to your next goal. It is great to maintain the wonderful habits that have help you reach your goal. Now, you have the opportunity to stretch and think about other things you have wanted to accomplish or new things that you haven't even thought of before. :) Congratulations on your accomplishments! --- It my also help when the weather warms up and the sun comes out.
  • MSDave
    MSDave Posts: 116 Member
    I hear you. I had the same thing happen to me this past summer with working all day, then doing hard exercising in the evening, then a light meal, TV, going to bed early, and getting lots of sleep. I lost 40 pounds, but I can remember thinking is this all there is?
    New year and new mind set. Now, I've started back up with playing in a community band, using several cookbooks which I alternate weekly, and backed off a little on exercising but still watching the calories.

    Also, when was your last physical? It might be something as simple as a low thyroid level robbing your energy (been there).
  • mk2fit
    mk2fit Posts: 730 Member
    Thanks for the suggestions. The running is fairly new - I started running late last summer. Of course, winter is not conducive to running, but I have tried snowshoeing. That is fun! I used to sew and do crafts in my 30s. Maybe I'll take those hobbies up again. My husband and I love cooking and experimenting with different recipes.
    My doc and I have been watching my thyroid for a couple years. It is borderline low. Might be time for a new check up.
    The sun came out today and warmed us up all the way to 20 degrees (F)! Woo hoo! Funny, but it does make a huge difference.
    Shoot, maybe it is just time for a road trip to see my grandkids!
  • ruperthumphrey
    ruperthumphrey Posts: 195 Member
    I think the road trip to see your grandkids may be just what the Dr orders!
  • luluinca
    luluinca Posts: 2,899 Member
    I think a lot of us fight depression, whether it's weather based, crisis based, or just part of our nature..........I really think exercise and good nutrition are so important in fighting it.

    I'm a positive person who tries to inspire others but I still fight the odd mood swings and sometimes feel like sinking back into a comfort zone that includes waffles and ice cream......LOL

    One thing I've learned over the last couple of years is exercise, spending time with the grandkids and eating a nutritious and balanced meal, while getting enough sleep, really help more than any drug therapy out there!!

    Wishing you continued success in your running (I'm a newbie to running too) and I think it's a great way to release some pent up energy or emotions..........at least that's working for me!

    I'm a former seamstress and crafter too who really needs to get back to some of that because it's so satisfying creatively.....I hope you re-energize that part of your life!!!
  • nikkib0103
    nikkib0103 Posts: 969 Member
    I think it's probably a mix of things. Is there anything you've been dying to do but putting off? Perhaps making plans to accomplish that will get you over the hump.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Yes, to snowshoeing and picking up hobbies and crafts that worked for you in the past. Here's hoping you feel better. :)
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,401 Member
    I'm late to the game on this one, but I think at some point a lot of people have had to deal with some type of depression. There is a long standing thread in the general forum and a lot of people voice their views, what helps them, how they cope, etc. And despite how obnoxious the main forums can be, people have been respectful enough to just leave it alone and not pass any judgement.

    I've had to deal with short term depression and anxiety issues, until we finally figured out that I was actually dealing with PTSD. There was a (thankfully) relatively short period where it took me to very dark places, and greatly affected my life. It was beyond toxic.

    Though I usually have no day to day issues, on occasion the PTSD rears it's head a little, and I stay prepared to fight it off the best I can. That brief period of it being really difficult is one I'm now thankful for, as it finally made me realize and understand part of what some deal with daily, and has given me a much greater respect for them and the struggles. I am involved in a veterans programs that helps vets deal with a number of social issues and various different mental health struggles, and probably will be for life.


    If anyone here is ever in a dark place and feels they can't speak openly, feel free to PM me if you need an ear, or help in any other form. After what I went through I realized how much it helped to have people that sincerely cared and helped in many ways. For me, just having an ear at times calmed me greatly, and removed the isolation.
  • luluinca
    luluinca Posts: 2,899 Member
    You're awesome Robert....
  • Farback
    Farback Posts: 1,088 Member
    Robert

    I've been firefighting for 25 years, and have done some ugly recoveries on SCBA, SCUBA, rope and on the highway. While it doesn't compare to combat, I've had some dark periods myself. It's good to see another person willing to help people new to the dark side of service.

    Kirk
  • marekdds
    marekdds Posts: 2,233 Member
    Marcia, just know you are not alone. It is depressing to think you are tied to constant vigilance. Maintenance has not been bliss for me. I have the knowledge to do the right thing, but I have grown weary of doing it. I really don't care for exercise, I don't know how some do as much as they do. I prefer bread and bakery to lower calorie foods. While It is nothing compared to PTSD, (I have some nightmares over identifying bodies), this is a daily struggle. I keep thinking when does this get easier? My best advice is to "walk away" mentally some everyday. Whether it be hobbies, trips to grandkids or whatever it is you enjoy, do it to keep yourself happy.
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,401 Member
    Farback wrote: »
    Robert

    I've been firefighting for 25 years, and have done some ugly recoveries on SCBA, SCUBA, rope and on the highway. While it doesn't compare to combat, I've had some dark periods myself. It's good to see another person willing to help people new to the dark side of service.

    Kirk

    Farback,

    Thanks for the sentiments, however I do need to clarify my previous post. Though I am a veteran and have been involved in hostile deployments, neither myself or any doctors involved have reason to believe that my PTSD is related to the military deployments. I had several non usual deaths in my family to include a brother, daughter, and mother. They are things that could happen to anyone, but hopefully don't.

    However, having spoken with a number of vets who have been exposed to more combat trauma, as well as others who have not, it's still somewhat a mystery to me and much of the medical community as to why certain people just process it and others do not. In my case I made it past all the actual tragic events for many years, yet somehow when dealing with a super high stress job finding out that my father was most likely terminally ill finally triggered the PTSD symptoms and made them surface.

    Through a number of outpatient groups that I attended I found this is not unusual. Essentially it comes down to things not fully processed building up, and at some point if it builds up too much something has to give or the body will more or less go into self defense mode.


    I'd imagine for many first responders such as yourself that the "survivors guilt" factor might also come into the picture. Though the personal relationships with the injured or dead usually wouldn't exist, the feeling of not being able to prevent it would be somewhat inevitable regardless. Many areas now train first responders in specialized grief control and how to process it. Quite a few in the mental health fields have similar training, and often are required to check up with others to assess their stress and grief levels, since they deal with so much "baggage" from their patients and often can't avoid the somewhat personal connection.

    But thanks for what you do, and look out for yourself and others around you. There are a lot of resources, and for people in professions such as yours I think it would be wise to use them to full extent needed. I know for me, having been through a lot in my life I just assumed I wouldn't be vulnerable to something like PTSD.

    Until it happened, and it hit like a freight train.
  • Farback
    Farback Posts: 1,088 Member
    The events might not trigger a stress response at the time, but as you noted, they add up and can manifest later. My condolences for your losses.

    We have a good mental health support system in emergency services now, but it wasn't always the case. Some of us older guys went through the 'just suck it up' years, and there's damage evident from that. Time and experience can make it easier to do the job, but we're all time bombs. Some will go off, some won't.
  • mk2fit
    mk2fit Posts: 730 Member
    Jen, lulu, thank you! I do miss my gbaby, but I think the (joy) of maintenance might be it. All the work and determination of losing the weight was kind of a high. On maintenance, ho hum. I do love running and will keep smiling through it. Robert & Kirk, I know PTSD is not my issue. I will keep both of you in my prayers...my son was in I & A and has some PTSD problems so I know a little about it.
  • luluinca
    luluinca Posts: 2,899 Member
    mk2loser wrote: »
    Jen, lulu, thank you! I do miss my gbaby, but I think the (joy) of maintenance might be it. All the work and determination of losing the weight was kind of a high. On maintenance, ho hum. I do love running and will keep smiling through it. Robert & Kirk, I know PTSD is not my issue. I will keep both of you in my prayers...my son was in I & A and has some PTSD problems so I know a little about it.

    I read that in the forums all the time, about maintenance being more difficult, because the thrill of watching the scale go down and accomplishing that goal is gone.

    I did quite a bit of maintenance off and on at the end of last year but more as a diet break than anything else. After awhile I'd go back to a deficit because I still had a few pounds to lose. This year I'm trying for another 5 and so I'm in a deficit again. That's different though than reaching your ultimate goal.

    For me, my plan is to focus on activity and strength goals I guess.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    But depression isn't sadness. Being depressed is clinical. Being sad is a mood.
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,833 Member
    Farback wrote: »
    The events might not trigger a stress response at the time, but as you noted, they add up and can manifest later. My condolences for your losses.

    We have a good mental health support system in emergency services now, but it wasn't always the case. Some of us older guys went through the 'just suck it up' years, and there's damage evident from that. Time and experience can make it easier to do the job, but we're all time bombs. Some will go off, some won't.
    I second Farback's comments... and I'm of the "suck it up buttercup" generation... I'm glad the new generation has the support networks in place. I've seen too many good men and women walk away either bitter or damaged.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    "Sucking it up" has its time and place, though.
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,833 Member
    "Sucking it up" has its time and place, though.

    Agreed... Until the crisis is over, suck it up and do what needs to be done urgently... As soon as it is practicable, there needs to be critical incident debriefings and mental health support.
  • Farback
    Farback Posts: 1,088 Member
    Yeah, most of us who do this can turn our emotions off like a switch and get the most unpleasant things imaginable done. There is a price to pay later for this wonderful life skill. I find I'm able to handle anything after 25 years of it, but I've seen many young people have serious troubles. In today's world, the first time they see a dead body is with us, and it's usually an ugly death.
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,833 Member
    My first week on patrol featured seven sudden deaths... one heart-attack at an industrial workplace, one collision and five (2 adults & 3 kids) in a fire later determined to be arson... It was, well, educational...
  • marekdds
    marekdds Posts: 2,233 Member
    You are so right. Dead bodies was bad enough, my worst nightmare was with my own child. While not necessarily life threatening, harrowing none the less. Eight year old daughter was hit with a line drive while pitching. Both permanent front teeth hit the ground. I rinsed them off, put them back in place, took her to my office and did some wiring. Needless to say, once I was sure she was ok and safely in bed at home, I went in another room and lost it. In retrospect, struggling with maintenance seems a little silly. It is however, still depressing.
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,833 Member
    Wow... I get chills just reading that, Jen... How luck for your daughter to have you there with the know-how!!

    When my daughter was pre-school, she managed to knock out her front teeth but they were the baby teeth. That thought was not foremost in my mind when she came crying to me in the yard with blood all over her face...
  • Farback
    Farback Posts: 1,088 Member
    Back when I was Deputy Chief I get a phone call from my 15 YO daughter telling me she's been in an accident and was thrown through the back window of the car, but is OK. Warp 9 to the scene, checked her out for minor lacerations, thankfully. Then I had to do spinal immobilization on the trapped driver till the ambulance and fire got there. He was somewhat surprised when someone came to the window and told him Robin's Dad was looking after him.
    He was a decent kid who made a bad decision.
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,401 Member
    Regarding the "suck it up" thoughts, I think people our age and older have been more or less trained that way by society. Really in the long run, I think the younger generations are much more in touch with where it takes a toll on us long term. Part of this is probably due to advances in modern medicine and medical knowledge, but I think part of it is just easier living and more focus on "first world problems".

    There are a lot of resources out there these days that weren't around when we were younger. And I think overall that's a good thing.
  • chamblisk
    chamblisk Posts: 296 Member
    @robertw486 , I agree...it was the culture of our times that we were told to "suck it up" and take care of business....even us girls. I still keep tight wraps on my emotions. There have been so many advances and hopefully, it will all translate into healthier understanding of the effects our mental health has on our overall well-being.
  • telynau
    telynau Posts: 16 Member
    It's refreshing to have a rational discussion on depression.

    Hope it's okay with the OP to chat about the differences between depression and feeling depressed/ blue/ blah/ meh/ sad/ frustrated/ maybe even down and dirty angry/PO'd... I have a major depressive disorder and I feel depressed sometimes. The neurotransmitter imbalance is under control with drugs (kinda like sorta with periodic balancing acts). The moods and feelings are the very human emotions.

    One thing I've learned is many people don't know how to show compassion for our fellow man. It's easier to react with a quip, a quote, a true-ism, a "suck it up", a "fake it til you make it", a "what a drama queen", a "keep a stiff upper lip". Let me give an eye-roll while I'm at it HaHa! It's something we've rarely been coached on and encouraged to offer; especially those of us of a certain vintage.

    Another thing I've learned is having a good, old-fashioned "pity party" is cathartic. There's something about having a friend or a loved one acknowledge ones craptacular feelings with commiseration. Maybe it's what my Gen-X/Y kiddos mean by "validating" (they never had to have parking receipts validated *wink*).

    In a way Gen-X/Y seems more in tune with their emotional health and aware of their moods and feelings. They appear able to separate the emotional health from the medical condition of depression. Just musing tonight and wanted to put it forward for thought.
  • mk2fit
    mk2fit Posts: 730 Member
    Thanks, @telynau. Yes, I have suffered from clinical (major) depression in the past and felt the old feeling creeping in. I really, really do not want to go on the meds...they seem to contribute to weight gain. That being said, I do feel better. I think some of it was winter, some was, well never mind. Haha, fake it til you make it! Heard that one a million times, but it kinda works.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,542 Member
    If the situation is fairly mild (that's not clear to me from your original post), sometimes a break in routine is very helpful - the trip to see your grandchild is one example, but others could work. Maybe a new goal? It could be a fitness goal, or learning something new & challenging that you've always wistfully wanted to pursue (learn a language, learn to play a musical instrument, new hobby).

    Please understand, I don't at all think these things are remedies for actual depression . . . but if it's more of a rootlessness after achieving the weight-loss goal, milder things like this might help.
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