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Hello everyone, I am new here.. And I need help. I am 19 years old girl with a eating disorder I don't know how to help myself and how to start eating properly again... I am losing a lot of weight since las year... I feel really like *kitten* lately...I don't know what to do...can please..anyone...give some advice... or msg me.. I would really be thankfull for it
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Hello and welcome. Have you been diagnosed with an eating disorder @PatriciaRepas? If so which one? A little more detail is needed so advice can be offered. You said you have lost a lot of weight, what was your starting weight, what is it currently? Not getting proper nutrition is going to make you tired, sluggish, and run down. If you want to answer on this post or message me, I can help you with coming up with some foods, and some ways to help, in theory, you gain a little weight. I am a trained chef of more than 15 years, and as someone that gained a lot of weight from eating this is an area I can help with.0
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Yes, I would really love to share it. can I contact you somehow??0
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I can't send the message to you0
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I sent you a message.0
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Hi, I'm Elizabeth Maryam. I've dealt with Ed's since I was around 11 (earlier probably) and have dealt with anorexia as a child, teen and adult. During my adulthood I have had long periods where I have done well. When my blood pressure skyrocketed when I was around 44, I wasn't allowed to do anything and my weight skyrocketed and that would be when I would say I lost control (BED) of being able to eat minimal or a reasonable amount of food. (My bp is now normal). I put on over 80 lbs during the 8 months my bp was extremely high. At present, I struggle between either eating too much or too little. I had radiation and surgery for my thyroid, and my resulting hypothyroidism is not managed well with meds. Overall, I would say my eating issues are linked to stress (of various sources) and abuse. More recently my mum passed away 5 weeks ago and my son is suicidal and there are many many other factors that are affecting our quality of life and basic life needs... so I'm trying to just do the best I can. We are not sure if we can get through this. I know for me, food and nutrition affects all the other areas or my life, in particular my ability to cope (I also have severe hypoglycemia), so I am trying to get back on track and to get to a healthy weight... which is difficult when you have an issue with control/lack of control. It's moreso on the BED end of things. Thanks, Elizabeth Maryam0
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It’s occurred to me I never posted here… so here we go.
My name is Laura, and I’m 43 years old. I was anorexic in my teens and early twenties, and that changed over to binge eating disorder after I graduated college. I’ve been dealing with the BED on and off ever since, and watching my weight go up and up and up. I hit my highest weight at 255, which is when I decided I needed to do something. That’s when I joined the gym at my work building. The trainer there recommended I use MFP to track my calories as an additional weight loss tool. That was in mid-January 2016, and since then I’ve been able to drop 18 pounds.
My biggest binge trigger is waking up in the middle of the night. For some reason, when this happens my brain thinks it’s the best idea EVER to go and eat the entire kitchen. I’m literally on auto-pilot; I have zero control when this happens. It’s baffling to me. I can go to bed thinking “I will NOT EAT when I wake up in the middle of the night!” but all that good thinking goes out the window once I do wake up. It’s the most frustrating thing.
I told my doctor about these night-time binge episodes, and his initial reaction was to treat me with a sleeping medication so that I don’t wake up in the first place. He prescribed Lunesta, which has been a huge help in controlling my middle-of-the-night waking. And since I’m not waking up, I can’t go eat. On the nights I don’t take the meds, I do still wake up and want to go eat. I’ve stopped keeping binge foods in the house, so that when this happens I will have nothing to binge on. I may eat a small amount, but generally my binging is under control for the first time in forever.
I joined this group because I want to help others with BED. I’ve been dealing with it my whole adult life; I know what it’s like and what’s going through your head when you binge. I know all about it.
Nice to meet you all!
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Nice to meet you too RespectTheKitty. I'm 48 btw. Take care, Elizabeth Maryam0
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MaryamCh2013 wrote: »Hi, I'm Elizabeth Maryam. I've dealt with Ed's since I was around 11 (earlier probably) and have dealt with anorexia as a child, teen and adult. During my adulthood I have had long periods where I have done well. When my blood pressure skyrocketed when I was around 44, I wasn't allowed to do anything and my weight skyrocketed and that would be when I would say I lost control (BED) of being able to eat minimal or a reasonable amount of food. (My bp is now normal). I put on over 80 lbs during the 8 months my bp was extremely high. At present, I struggle between either eating too much or too little. I had radiation and surgery for my thyroid, and my resulting hypothyroidism is not managed well with meds. Overall, I would say my eating issues are linked to stress (of various sources) and abuse. More recently my mum passed away 5 weeks ago and my son is suicidal and there are many many other factors that are affecting our quality of life and basic life needs... so I'm trying to just do the best I can. We are not sure if we can get through this. I know for me, food and nutrition affects all the other areas or my life, in particular my ability to cope (I also have severe hypoglycemia), so I am trying to get back on track and to get to a healthy weight... which is difficult when you have an issue with control/lack of control. It's moreso on the BED end of things. Thanks, Elizabeth Maryam
Welcome to our little hole in the MFP wall.
You have certainly got a lot on you! So many stressers and pressures! I wish I could swoop down and make it all better.
Make yourself at home here. This is a safe place.
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Thank you irishjeepgirl1969
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Hi everyone, My name is Claudette and I am 48 years old. I struggled with my weight for my entire adult life and was always a "Closet eater" pretty much since I was 16 - skip ahead to November 2015 and I am back in therapy(previously diagnosed with depression at age 17) and talking with my therapist he diagnosed me with Adult Binge Eating Disorder, never knew this was such a thing. I now take medication and my binge eating is pretty well under control. I have had a few slips up since November, but not too bad - I have lost 15 pounds since Jan and going strong. Also during my therapy sessions he felt that I don't suffer from depression but anxiety, so I am on meds for that too - so can you imagine being a very anxious person and also suffer from ABED, bad combo But I will win this battle, as we all will.
Thank you for creating this group.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
All the best.
Claudette0 -
cushygal48 wrote: »Hi everyone, My name is Claudette and I am 48 years old. I struggled with my weight for my entire adult life and was always a "Closet eater" pretty much since I was 16 - skip ahead to November 2015 and I am back in therapy(previously diagnosed with depression at age 17) and talking with my therapist he diagnosed me with Adult Binge Eating Disorder, never knew this was such a thing. I now take medication and my binge eating is pretty well under control. I have had a few slips up since November, but not too bad - I have lost 15 pounds since Jan and going strong. Also during my therapy sessions he felt that I don't suffer from depression but anxiety, so I am on meds for that too - so can you imagine being a very anxious person and also suffer from ABED, bad combo But I will win this battle, as we all will.
Thank you for creating this group.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
All the best.
Claudette
Nice to meet you Claudette
~ Elizabeth Maryam0 -
cushygal48 wrote: »Hi everyone, My name is Claudette and I am 48 years old. I struggled with my weight for my entire adult life and was always a "Closet eater" pretty much since I was 16 - skip ahead to November 2015 and I am back in therapy(previously diagnosed with depression at age 17) and talking with my therapist he diagnosed me with Adult Binge Eating Disorder, never knew this was such a thing. I now take medication and my binge eating is pretty well under control. I have had a few slips up since November, but not too bad - I have lost 15 pounds since Jan and going strong. Also during my therapy sessions he felt that I don't suffer from depression but anxiety, so I am on meds for that too - so can you imagine being a very anxious person and also suffer from ABED, bad combo But I will win this battle, as we all will.
Thank you for creating this group.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
All the best.
Claudette
Hello and welcome. What medication did the doctor put you on if you don't mind me asking? I am on Vyvanse for the BED and brintellix for anxiety and depression.0 -
cushygal48 wrote: »Hi everyone, My name is Claudette and I am 48 years old. I struggled with my weight for my entire adult life and was always a "Closet eater" pretty much since I was 16 - skip ahead to November 2015 and I am back in therapy(previously diagnosed with depression at age 17) and talking with my therapist he diagnosed me with Adult Binge Eating Disorder, never knew this was such a thing. I now take medication and my binge eating is pretty well under control. I have had a few slips up since November, but not too bad - I have lost 15 pounds since Jan and going strong. Also during my therapy sessions he felt that I don't suffer from depression but anxiety, so I am on meds for that too - so can you imagine being a very anxious person and also suffer from ABED, bad combo But I will win this battle, as we all will.
Thank you for creating this group.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
All the best.
Claudette
Hello and welcome. What medication did the doctor put you on if you don't mind me asking? I am on Vyvanse for the BED and brintellix for anxiety and depression.
Hi, I am on Buspar for the anxiety and Wellbutrin for the BED.0 -
Ask an aspie a question and we will likely give a full and complete answer
Hello I am Laura, my mother had anorexia alternating with binge eating and obesity and she also had mental health issues, my father was an abusive alcoholic. So genetically things were never looking good for me. I was a very shy troubled withdrawn Kid with undiagnosed asperger's.
I was severely bullied all through school and even later in work to some extent. I have suffered from depression my whole life. My mother was never maternal and did not really know how to do mothering other than to give lots of food and treats. I have been obese since early childhood. I binge ate in secret and hid food away in my room from as young as I can remember. I just kept getting fatter, the bullying kept getting worse, I was an emotional wreck from age 5 onwards. I would throw food away only to go diving through bin to retrieve it later.
I also plucked my hair out, scratched at my skin and compulsively picked holes in my skin over my whole body and suffered with those disorders badly until very recently. I had early symptoms of bipolar disorder since childhood which has got progressively worse as I aged. I have always used food to self medicate, to give me a temporary high and numb out the depths of depressions.
I can lose interest in food when hypo or manic but then I tend to drink too much to calm me down from the highs. I have had issues with severe sex addiction from mid 20's to early 30's related to bipolar manic episodes. I am an addict. I have always known I am an addict. I come from generations of addicts. For this reason I have never taken a puff from a cigaret or touched any recreational drugs. I only drink rum and wine because I got hold of them as a child. I won't try any knew alcohols because I know I will like them too much. I know what kind of creature I am. I joined a celibate cult age 19 and stayed a member until mania took over age 24 and sex addiction quickly followed. I tried to be safe, i tried to resist my addictive nature but I failed. Food is just everywhere and always available and I was totally hooked before I ever got a chance to avoid that fate.
I got married age 26 thinking that would help, I was faithful to him, he was not right for me though, not supportive, not understanding. He was another addict, for him it was drugs, alcohol,gambling. He wanted me to be slimmer. I joined food addicts in recovery anonymous and lost 126lb in 9 months. I was starving hungry a lot, I was doing the right actions with food but my head was more messed up than ever. My husband was unhappy with my new slimmer self, he then said he prefered my curves and missed them. He wanted me to get jaw surgery for my class 3 underbite but I ended up having the braces removed threatening to kill myself in hysterics at hospital the day after they were fitted. I just could not do it. My estranged father died who I had not seen for 16 years. I saw his body in the coffin. I lost it emotionally I was a wreck. I was crying all the time, so much so my sponsor said she could not cope with me any more. I was devastated as naturally I was totally emotionally dependant on her.
My husband then decided he needed a break from me and walked out saying he would be back in 6 months. He stayed in touch but 6 months later he cheated on me with two other women in one week and said he was not coming back. I spiralled out of control back in to sex addiction and ended up in a rebound relationship with a narcissistic sociopath who manipulated and abused me in every way, we lived together , he raped me and I asked him to leave but he would not go and I was too ashamed to ask for help, I knew it would be impossible to prove to police. I lived with him months after he raped me and I literally went insane. I finally asked my estranged husband to come help me and he paid this man to leave. I could not tell him about the abuse as I think even though my husband left me he would have killed this man if he knew. The two of them had a nice little chat in front of me about how difficult I am to live with.
I was out of control with the bipolar by this point, doctors had failed to get it under control with medications. Medications sedated me so much I was missing time at work, I could not focus when I was at work. My boss kept threatening to fire me. I just wanted comfort. I sought it in men and that went badly. I came to conclusion all men are sex driven heartless pigs and my anger lead me in to wanting revenge. My mania drove my sex drive through roof so I decided if can't beat them join them and my sex addiction reached way out of control heights. I ended up quitting my job even as my boss said he was about to dismiss me anyway. I became a full time private escort for a year while full blown manic not on any medication. I figured every payment was compensation for men who had hurt me in my life, I thought it was a way to be in control, to deal with the disappointment of not finding the love I so desperately wanted, I tried to be cold but that is not me. Chunks of time kept going missing, I knew I was very ill but I had no trust left in doctors or anyone. My psychiatrist said in her opinion I was fine and she thought this was my natural personality.
Of course with bipolar every up is followed by a down and year of mania came with a severe down at the end where I quit escorting, was horrified by what I had done and yet again wanted to be dead. I had memory blanks and could not come to terms with what had happened to me and what I did while manic. At this point doctors realised it had not been my personality and I was bombarded with more medications to try and get control of bipolar. I became a rapid cycling bipolar sufferer from this point on. My weight skyrocketed up to 330lb. I did not want to exist and food was the only comfort that I could find.
Food has always been there through everything. I have had all sorts of therapy and counselling to deal with past and with food issues but although I have mostly made peace with my past and I no longer am furious with all mankind. I have fought long and hard to stop the self harming of my skin and the obsessive hair plucking that together used to take up to 8 hours out of my day. I have stopped the sex addiction. I miraculously never caught anything, I had at least always used protection. I have stopped drinking too much. I just find the food so so hard to let go of.
A lifetime of binge eating disorder has lead to me being able to consume huge amounts of food that would probably put a normal person in hospital. I once logged a binge years ago on mfp on an old profile and it was over 20'000 calories, 10 days worth within hours. I have eaten myself in to pain , I have had agonising gallbladder attacks, I have quite severe IBS. None of it stopped me from binge eating. I always fall back into the arms of binge eating disorder even though I know it is a deceitful and abusive love/hate affair also. It is just too easy, too available, too deeply ingrained. My bipolar remains out of control even on meds. I want so much to be well. It truly is one day at a time or moment by moment sometimes. I am still here though and still fighting. My life has taught me a great deal of compassion and humility because you never know how far you can go until life pushes you. I have no right to judge anyone. We all just do the best we can with what we have. People do not choose addiction or mental illness. We do choose to fight it and that is all we can do.0 -
What an incredible story Laura. You are an inspiration! So many road blocks in your life and so many reasons to throw in the towel and give up, but here you are with a great attitude and taking care of yourself. You are very right about mental illness, no one chooses to have it but we do choose how we deal with it.0
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Hi Laura, I am also Laura. I can see a lot of parallels between your story and mine, as far as mental illness and addiction. I just want to say you're an amazing person and I hope this group can help you even a little bit.0
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Wow! Thank you for starting this group. And THANK YOU to everyone who is sharing their story.
I'm 47 yrs old with two beautiful, HEALTHY AND ATHLETIC daughters ages 20 & 24 but I have been overweight all of my adult life. I've not been diagnosed with BED but I had recently talked to my doctor about it. His response when I told him that I simply can not control myself sometimes was"you just simply need to give up your love affair with food and begin a relationship with exercise instead" - NOT helpful at all. I KNOW these things. But I seriously feel like it does control me sometimes! I'll do really well for a day or two or sometimes even a week or more and then all of a sudden I'm out of control and craving everything BAD....chips, pizza, French fries.... My binges are usually an entire bag of chips or pizza or something. NO, I do not keep these in the house but sometimes I can't take it anymore and I'll go buy what I know I shouldn't eat!
I welcome the support of a group like this, any ideas suggestions advice will be greatly appreciated.1 -
My name is Tricia.
I am 42 years old, mother of three.
I have not been diagnosed with an eating disorder (so far); however, I have always been able to exercise to keep my weight down so I've "felt like I've managed it".
I have recently been diagnosed with depression, and I've started taking meds for that (which has been a huge help). However, this has worsened things in terms of binge eating and weight gain.
I eat well all day. Not a problem.
I have a good breakfast and don't overeat at work/lunch or dinner.
What happens is after dinner, I want to eat constantly for an hour or so.
Anything junky that I can get my hands on. The worse for me the better.
I eat until I am so full I feel like I can't breathe.
I've always been like this, especially at night, but it's gotten so now I feel like I can't control it at all.
I know I need to stop. I tell myself every morning that I won't do it, and then I do.
I've always had this issue. From a small child, food was a comfort and it was something I could control in an environment where I had none.
I sit all day at work and more recently I sit most of the night.
I used to exercise every day. Now I try to drag myself to do it but just don't feel like it.
I buy healthy food and try to eat well....but again, at night it's sabotaged.
I'm really looking forward to reading your stories and the support this group provides and I can provide as well. I am at the point of wanting to go for counseling as I can't carry on like this.
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@betrue95 and @gbread2u0169 Welcome!!0
