Emotional side of losing weight

MEG924

Hi all,
I've been low carb since June 2015 and have lost 70 lbs! It's such a great lifestyle and I'm so glad I started. My only problem is that I've been struggling with the emotional side of losing... I still see the "old me." Realistically, I know I'm smaller. I went from a size xl/xxl in shirts to a size small, and my jean size from 18/20 to 10. But most of the time when I look in the mirror I have my old negative thoughts, and at times have had to check the scale to make sure I didn't somehow regain all the weight I lost overnight. It sounds silly to type it out but I would love some advice on how to overcome this if anyone else has felt the same. I still have about 20 - 30 lbs to lose and am being very hard on myself lately because as I've increased excercise, the scale has remained the same for 3 weeks. I just want to start feeling better about the way I look. The emotional aspect really is more difficult than all the hard work I've put into losing the weight... Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!

auntstephie321

It takes time for your mind to readjust. Congratulations on your huge success that's amazing.

This is going to sound really stupid probably. But today my SIL took a picture of me and my sister's, I am wearing a fitted sweater in it and when I saw it the first thing I thought was, "ugh my waist looks so fat" . Now I've lost the majority of the lbs I want to lose and gone from a 14 to an 8 and started to really build some good time in my muscles and that was my first thought.

Sadly it's a very normal thing, and while I still have those thoughts it's been a while since I have, so as time passes it gets better and better.

Something that may help is to do a before after photo, side by side. Looking in the mirror only compares to your memory of you. It's hard to remember exactly without looking at both together.

Sunny_Bunny_

I know this it is not uncommon to feel this way and the fact that you're recognizing it for what it is it says so much about where you are in your journey. You know your head is lying to you and you put yourself out there to seek help and share with others who will understand. That's such a big accomplishment in and of itself! Make sure to give yourself credit for that.
I don't really battle this myself but I can understand it. I remember when I first started low carb all I wanted was to get binge eating candy under control. I felt so stupid and weak that I had to "battle" that sugar craving like I was a heroin junky or something! So I decided right then, that I would take it that seriously. That every time I won that battle I would give myself credit for having made a good choice. Over time, I would build on that pride and it would be easier and easier every day to make the best choices for myself because I deserved to do the best for myself. I deserved to feel proud of what I accomplished! Even if other people could easily do the same thing... It was hard for me. So I deserved to feel proud when I beat it.
I really think that making all those tiny "deposits of pride" in myself are responsible for the fact that I've never had a cheat since day one. I don't even want to cheat. I'm worth more than dumb cheat.
Look at all of the great things you've done for body and health since June. It's really paying off for you. That must have been thousands of good decisions and "deposits" since then. It's time you cashed them in! You earned it! You get to feel every bit of that pride when you look in that mirror! It's yours! No one else's! Own it girl!

Jan93L

Yeah I hear ya, I deal with it a lot, too. It seems like as I pass through the weight the old memories, fears and anxieties crop up again, especially in dreams or just as I am awakening. On a happier not, I am loosing fat and have gone from an 18-20 to a 14 over the last four months. Been doing low carb (45-75) for about a month. Not easy but getting better lately. I'm T2 diabetic and my A1c has improved. Love reading all the posts. They help a lot.

zyxy55

Your post really touched me. This is one of the hardest things for me. I felt like I was hearing a past version of myself in your post. I have I found that seeing my body more positively (even when I was at my heaviest) helped me actually see some change when I lost some weight. This is something that I still struggle with, but it has improved a lot.

The thing that really, really helped me was the following exercise. (I forgot where I heard about this.) Start off by thinking of 5 of the great things different parts of your body do for you. Write them down in a list. After a while (a day, a week or a month), go back and read the list and see if you can add to it.

For example:
I love my stong legs. They let me dance and bring me joy.
I love my loving arms. They let me hug the people I love and let me show those people how much I love them.

It sounded so strange to me a first, and I tried it thinking "I doubt this will work, but its not too hard to try". Strangely, after a while it started to sink in. I remember once when I was sarting to think how much I hated my belly and how fat and disgusting it was when a positive thought popped in. "No, my belly is beautiful and its the part of me that can hold my future child!" It shocked me that something I had writttten down some weeks ago popped into my head with such force. It felt so good.

I wish you the best and that you find a way to see the beauty and strength in yourself.

Panda_Poptarts

MEG924 wrote: »

The emotional aspect really is more difficult than all the hard work I've put into losing the weight... Any advice would be appreciated.

You're right. The emotional aspect is the worst!

I have likely had a touch (or more than a touch) of body dysmorphia for years. When I was slender, I felt enormous. When I was enormous, I felt enormous. It didn't matter what size I actually was. I still felt like a cow (not something I'd ever call anyone, but it's what I often called myself).

I find one of the most effective ways to get over the self-conscious body-shaming is to find three things I love about my body in the mirror, every single day. Instead of grabbing up my love handles with disgust, I say "look how much smoother my lower back has become". Instead of hating on my belly, I say "Look how strong my legs are", etc. It's been very empowering for me, and I feel powerful - feeling beautiful is a side effect!

I'd empower you to give something like that a try for a month, and see if it changes your self image. We're so prone to finding the things we hate about ourselves, not often do we embrace the things we love about ourselves.

MEG924

All of your comments filled with positivity and encouragement are so nice and appreciated! I'm new to posting so I'm not sure how to respond to each individually but I read them all and feel so thankful to be a part of such a supportive group and thank you all for your responses and advice!

Sunny_Bunny_

MEG924 wrote: »

All of your comments filled with positivity and encouragement are so nice and appreciated! I'm new to posting so I'm not sure how to respond to each individually but I read them all and feel so thankful to be a part of such a supportive group and thank you all for your responses and advice!

We're glad you're here and sharing! Very happy to have been able to be here for you.

Lillith32

I understand all too well. I lost 36 lb, my pants are a size 4, I run 7+ miles a day. I look at myself in the mirror or on the pictures, and all I see is fat. There is a part of my brain that tells me I am hideously fat, and that part is the one that looks at all my photos, and all my videos. I figure I need a lot of time with a therapist to actually fix it, so I decided to focus on what my body can accomplish versus what it looks like. I will never look like a model in a magazine, and that is ok, but I will run a marathon, lift weights, hike, enjoy myself and live a full, healthy life. After all, there is more to me than this body. I refuse to let my weight or my poor body image define me, or stop me from doing things. So, hugs and good vibes! You're not alone. I hope you find a solution that works for you, and be able to see yourself for the wonderful, active, healthy and happy human being you are.

MEG924

Thank you!! It's so good to know I'm not alone in these feelings. I think I'll need to see a therapist at some point if positive thoughts don't work. Looking at what your body can do, instead of what it looks like, is a great suggestion! I will definitely try that. Congrats on the mileage! I've picked up running and do about 2.5 miles every other day, slowly working my way up to more. It's amazing how much more you can do when you're not carrying around so much extra weight. My self image is my biggest issue but I also get hung up on the number on the scale, which I know is silly because I'm a lot stronger and muscle adds some weight. Guess I just need to try these self-love excercises and have patience that one day these feelings will pass.

KarlaYP

I have suffered from this thinking about myself any time I ever lost weight, I always saw the bigger me in the mirror! This time has been different. I can see the smaller me, but I relate it to feeling it too. In that I mean that the fat loss has made me feel thinner (never felt this before). I know my body was inflamed in every way possible, without a doubt, and keto/lchf has been correcting that inflammation, making me feel it! The loss of 12" off just my waist in 10 months is testament to that too! Anyway, I think that's been the difference this time, for me.

I do understand the issue though, and know that learning to love yourself is extremely important, as well as correcting negative self talk! Our brain believes what we think, and when we are always thinking negatively about ourselves, we begin to believe it! Find ways to turn negative thoughts into positive! Also, I'm sure you have people you admire for their character, they are great people that would help anybody, you think they are great. This is also how we should feel about ourselves, we deserve to have kind thoughts about ourselves, and to love ourselves too! This is something that I worked on with a psychologist for a while a few years ago, and that's what I got from it. It helped me tremendously (it took several months to change the negative self talk, and I'm still working on it!)!

It is good that you recognize it, and came here to talk about it! I hope you are able to see the wonderful changes, everyday, very soon! Hugs!