Falling off the Wagon

anbrdr Posts: 621 Member
So I have a confession:

I have totally strayed from "The Plan". The last month or so has been filled with personal challenges and pitfalls that I have totally bombed through. I can't remember the last time I was in the gym. I have been drinking beer and liquor at my pre-surgery rates, as well as snacking on the worst of foods. I've not been taking my nutritional supplements. I've not been hitting water or protein goals at all. And OMFG, the carbs! The gains that I saw on the scale this morning made me want to cry.

I was on a cruise/vacation for the last 10 days or so. Despite the near-constant exercise, it was impossible to pass up the numerous food and drink choices. I'm very weak-willed on occasion. I'm starting to think that I've "stretched my stomach" by the amounts I have been eating in a sitting.

I'm in a fairly young relationship with someone who isn't sharing my eating/exercise goals, but is supportive of them. She does go to the gym with me, and she does eat the things I cook, but she also adds to the temptation by the eating out/sharing at restaurants, the temptation for drinks, and constantly having bad snacks in the house.

I'm also beginning to have 50/50 custody of my son, which is the biggest challenge. Our previous arrangement was 3 weekends/month. This gave me the weekdays to get in my gym time. Now that I have him for an entire week, I'm not sure how I can have the time for the cardio that I need. We leave for his school at 7:30am, and I don't pick him up until 5:30pm. By the time I get home and put dinner on the table, there are only 1.5 hours of time before he has to be in bed. He isn't allowed in my gym (under 16) and I can't go to gym during work hours, because I only have a 30 min lunch break. I "can't" leave him at home and go to gym because he still isn't quite old enough.

Not sure what the point of this post is, other than an airing of grievance. I refuse to beat myself up too badly over the situation. I've made a ton of progress in the last 2 years, and a failure month is just a thing that happened. I have to find my reset button. Get back to the basics of protein, water, and food weighing/logging, and exercising when possible. Going back to my 1100 calorie limit will be tough. I'm thinking of a 5-day pouch test, or an egg-fast.


  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
    Thanks so much for sharing this. You have so much going on around you that it's no wonder some things slip through the cracks. Unfortunately sometimes we put ourselves last and WE slip through the cracks. I think it's important that people in all stages of the process know that it can happen to any of us. I fell off the wagon last year and I can relate. I have been struggling to get back on track, but I made some changes in my life and it's been easier and I am getting there. You will get there too. One month in the two years of progress you have made is just a blip. We just have to keep reminding ourselves of where we started and how far we've come, but I tell you, doing damage control is not easy. I did the 5 day pouch test, I will probably do it again soon, it really did help a lot to kind of help me reboot.
  • kimgravitt3
    kimgravitt3 Posts: 186 Member
    You always seem like Superman to me!! You will get through this and re-focus. Juggling the kiddo will take some getting use to, but I know you will come up with a plan. You have been a great inspiration to me!!!!!
  • ki4eld
    ki4eld Posts: 1,215 Member
    You have a lot going on and you're handling it pretty well. The fact that you see your errors is the biggest hurdle. We both know that a month is just a month. You have the skills to get back and I know you'll get there.

    Talk to your lady. Young relationship or not, sometimes it's best to rip off the bandaid and see if it bleeds or not. Tell her about your feelings and your struggles. We both know it's not on her about the snacks; it's on you. But if she knows you're really struggling, maybe she can help a little. You won't know until you ask.

    As for your son, we both know there are ways to work around the timing restraints. Calisthenics in the floor on a yoga mat is better than nothing at all. Do something. Go for a walk with him. Teach him the proper way to do pushups. Get him involved.

    You can do this. And yes, do your 5-day pouch test and reset yourself.
  • bcedl1982
    bcedl1982 Posts: 140 Member
    This journey is about progress, not perfection. You are in the midst of several different challenges. Frankly, the fact that you're posting about this after just one month is a significant victory. In the past, how many of us have spent years going in the wrong direction? You are getting back on track - you can do it!

    I agree with ki4eld, you need to talk to your lady. If the situation were reversed, would you be open to making changes to help her maintain her health? You seem like the kind of guy who would, so I hope she is willing to do the same for you.

    As an elementary school teacher, I recommend involving your son in your exercise routine. When the weather gets nicer you can go to the park and run around & play with him (do some pull-ups on the monkey bars for good measure). If the weather isn't cooperating, make a game out of exercise stations inside your house or apartment, complete with a spinner or some dice to determine the number of jumping jacks, crunches (or whatever) to do at each stop & a timer for planks. You can also borrow kid-friendly exercise videos for free from your public library. You will be getting in some great father/son time and also modeling an active lifestyle.

    Good luck and keep posting. We're here to support you!
  • rpyle111
    rpyle111 Posts: 1,066 Member
    Anbrdr, I will post I more detail or PM you when I have more time, but you are not alone. (Ok, this ended up as a full ramble, but pm me if you want to talk)

    When I hit a couple of months into maintenance, I took a 'vacation' fro logging to see how I could manage making good decisions and I did well in making good choices and my weight stayed remarkably stable. The food (and drink) decisions were mostly good but old habits wee slowly creeping in.

    When my weight started trending up, I tightened the reins and have reached a new stability a little higher than goal, but I have found it incredibly difficult to get back into the logging habit. I hope the spring and golf season will get my activity back up and I can regain my goal range.

    While it has been a struggle, where I think I have been a huge success is in not beating myself up and knowing that the behaviors are still easily attainable, I am just not choosing to use them. I am trying to love me as I am, even when falling short of my plan and goals. You've got a lot going on. Work to get back to the plan you want to follow, but don't beat yourself up. It doesn't do any good and in fact will do harm.

    Give your son an example of self-love *and* of working and succeeding at a hard goal. That will go far in helping him develop as a person.

    You are a great example and inspiration to all of us. Remember that even as you fall short of perfection. How we respond in difficult times can be more revealing than succeeding in the good times.

  • cmchandler74
    cmchandler74 Posts: 510 Member

    You can get back on track. You know what to do, and the best news is, you've done it before so you know you can do it. We're all here for you.
  • anbrdr
    anbrdr Posts: 621 Member
    edited March 2016
    This community is the freaking best!

    Thanks for all of the support and advice. This is a lifelong commitment, and life is not always perfect. I think the extended days of summer will help greatly, as well as your suggestions to make this a family strengthening experience. Totally agree that I need to hash things out with The Woman, as it will only make things harder for everyone, if we are not walking on the same path. Sometimes it just helps to have other people affirm what you are already thinking! I've made a commitment that the current clothes size that I am in will be the biggest clothes I ever buy again. I am truly happy in my current state, but I want to be better, stronger, faster, and healthier. Sometimes self-love is the hardest thing to put into practice.

    I think I overly panicked when I noticed that I had put on 6 pounds in 19 days! Why does the weight always go on so much faster than it comes off? :smirk: