Post Op Support

anbrdr

Who all goes to these, in person? I know this forum has been my main form of post-op. My Bari Center actually offers 3 classes per month. One of the runs at 11am on a Tuesday (I'm guessing they were not thinking about working souls) and is hosted by the Center's nutritional and exercise team. One is run on the weekends (and always the weekend that I'm playing Daddy Duty) by an affiliated psych team. The other class is hosted by one or 2 of the Bari staff.

Last night I decided to go, hoping to meet some people and have face to face time with others in the same life path. Of course last night was NOT structured in that manner at all. The whole class was a presentation from a plastic surgery office. It was 1.5 hours of butt lifts, bat wing removal, and tons of photos of scars. At first I was turned off by the marketing ploy feel of it all, and almost left. But it actually ended up pretty fascinating. I'd probably not want to spend the money on anything like that, personally, but after the presentation I have a better understanding as to why people do. The more I lose, the more the sagginess gets to me. Oh well, it's my constant reminder that I'll never fill it up again.

So, do you guys attend post-op groups and do you get anything out of them?

rpyle111

My center has three support groups: One run by the Nutritionist, one run by the Psychiatrist, and a third that is aimed at relapse prevention and is aimed more at veterans.

The groups meet in the evenings and each is once a month. I have attended the first two, have not been to the relapse prevention group. My attendance is sporadic: I didn't go to any prior to my surgery, because they run them on Tuesday evenings, which conflicts with my golf league. After surgery (in the fall and winter) I went pretty regularly and they are very helpful. They are set up for pre and post surgery people, so they give opportunities for interaction between the two groups, which seems very helpful to the pre-surgery folks.

I am not sure I get a ton out of them directly, but I feel good going to support those following behind me in the process. There are often special topics (like a presentation by a Bariatric Vitamin company) which do feel like marketing pitches. I encourage people to go to the sessions, but I believe there is more interaction here, and a larger number of people to talk to here. For those who do not do the online thing, though, the support groups seem to be very useful.

Rob

AngieViolet

Hahahaha. The same thing happened to me! I decided that I really needed to connect with others face to face and just be around people who are like me. However, my first meeting was also a plastic surgery pitch focusing on boobs...sooo sad. It was informative, and I will need some plastic surgery in a few years...BUT I NEEDED SUPPORT AND DISCUSSION! Meetings are 1.5hrs from me, on a Monday evening, and are only held for 1 hr once a month. I really want to find a support group that I could attend more frequently. I am going to check out meet-up. On a happy side, I stayed after the meeting and was able to pick a few people's brains. I really appreciated their help! It is such a relief to be around people who understand me!

I am going to go back again at the end of the month. I plan on continuing to go. It is a really nice group of people. Actually, my center has the longest continuously running bariatric support group in the country. I really wish that it was 2 hrs or twice a month.

I really depend on all of you to help me! The support from this group of amazing people keep me holding my head high through this journey!

bcedl1982

I agree that this is the best venue for support! I have had other meetings conflict with the support group at my hospital (1xmonth), but I may be able to get there the end of this month. Will post again with a review!

garber6th

My hospital has three psychologist-led support groups a month (one during the day), and also a psychologist led class that mainly focuses on the psychological aspects of food and eating. About once or twice a year they bring in plastic surgeons, but it's more informative that sales pitch-y. They explain what your options are if you end up with a lot of loose skin, and they discuss the processes and recovery of the surgery. I found it pretty interesting.

I was going regularly to the support group meetings the first year or so post surgery, but when I changed jobs they didn't work with my schedule. I plan to start going again now that my schedule will allow it. I found it really helpful. I feel like I can learn a lot from people who have already been where I am, and I feel maybe I can help people who are going through the process in earlier stages by sharing what I have already been through. Connecting in that way and sharing experiences either in this group or support groups has really helped me. I can't imagine what this process would have been like without it.

bcedl1982

After reading garber6th's post I realized that I forgot to mention that I have been seeing an LCPC regularly since last summer. For me, the whole "what's going on in my head" issue has been the biggest piece of the puzzle. So, I've been getting a lot of support from a professional, my family & friends and this site. It does feel like it's time to "get out there" at the meetings to give something back and maybe get something, too.

garber6th

bcedl1982 wrote: »

After reading garber6th's post I realized that I forgot to mention that I have been seeing an LCPC regularly since last summer. For me, the whole "what's going on in my head" issue has been the biggest piece of the puzzle. So, I've been getting a lot of support from a professional, my family & friends and this site. It does feel like it's time to "get out there" at the meetings to give something back and maybe get something, too.

And I forgot to mention that I started seeing a therapist a year before I even decided to pursue the surgery route, and I still see him. I too had to address what was going on in my head. My actual moment of realization that my situation was when I saw myself in the mirror and I said to myself, being 386 lbs is not normal, get some help. It was like a switch finally flipped. I've had support from family, friends, my surgeon, my therapist, support groups with my program, and my MFP support groups and friends. I always joked that I need a full team for support, but I am seriously good with that. I think we should utilize whatever resources are available to us to keep us on the right track.

cmchandler74

My hospital has two support groups that meet on the first Thursday of each month - topics/discussion are driven by the attendees, but the two groups could not be any more different. The daytime group tends to be people who are more focused on mourning the loss of food as a whole (the "what have I done?"/"this was a mistake"/"I miss food" crowd). For people who need that type of environment, I guess it's effective, but it completely isn't my speed because any time I've attended it, everyone was just SO DEPRESSED. No one seemed enthusiastic about the positive changes they had made in their lives.

The evening crowd has more humor and fun. It's a laid back, not-afraid-to-talk-about-anything-even-the-gross-stuff group. It tends more to focus on bucking up people who are checking out the surgeries, helping them decide which one to get by weighing pros and cons from people who have been there, realistic discussions about what to expect post-op and reinforcing that the change isn't easy but it's worth it. We answer questions for people attending their required support group attendance, and we tend to retain them afterwards as people come back to pay it forward. I attended it well before surgery and plan to continue going as long as it's meeting. It's a great reference for recipes, activities, NSV comparisons, you name it. Everyone is so encouraging of everyone else. The only flaw is it doesn't meet more often, to be honest.

So really, it's just a question of finding the right environment. And yeah, if that was a non-normal meeting for your group, I'd go back and give it another shot during a normal meeting just to see if it's what you're looking for.

ssbeadlady

My Surgeon has 1 support group a month that last for about 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Last month I went for the first time. The speaker was a lady that had lost 105 pounds and was the spokes person for the surgery office. She doesn't get paid but is recognized by lots of people because of all the ads she is in. Less than 1 dozen people were there. It is a 45 minute drive one way for me. It was informative to listen to her journey and what she had to do to lose the weight. She looked fantastic and was in her fifties. Hope to look as good as she does despite being in my 60's and having a 130 left of over 300 that I have had to lose.
This month was just a discussion by those that attended and I didn't go. They give us a list of the topics on face .ook. Next month is the tour of the new gym that opened up in the hospital and for June it is the plastic surgeon. Since I have lost over 210 pounds so far, I will probably go to the plastic surgeon one as I already have tons of sagging skin. I want to know how much longer I will have to wait before I can have nay removed and how much it will cost. Plus see the pictures of the kind of work he does.
I am also thinking of starting a Sleeve Meetup Group for those in my county. Have the info from a lady who started one and what she discussed and did. So mine might be similar to her group. However I do want input from the people who join. There are a few whom are interested and we are still in the planning stages.

callikia

My surgeon's office meets once a month for support group -- I haven't been yet. I was sleeved in November and refused to go to that meeting since I was less than a week out and they were meeting at Bob Evans for a Thanksgiving meal together. December's group they cancelled. I don't think they had one in January and last month and this month I forgot to even look since I've been crazy busy at work. Hoping maybe April will be MY month! *lol* I am going this week to my center's personal trainer, though, and I'm hoping he'll provide some of the support I think I've been missing in the process. I am lucky in that my mom had bypass 15 years ago, but since I had the sleeve there are just some questions she can't answer for me...

NicoleL874

Hello and happy Monday! *grrr*

My bariatric center has two groups per month. One is the second Monday of the month at 7pm. That one is structured with a visitor/presentation. Too late for me, it's about 90 minutes and with where I live and my schedule I'm in bed most nights by 8pm. (I'm up at 4am) Needless to say, I've not gone to it. From what I hear it's very crowded and only good if you are interested in the speaker. Luckily they email out the topic/presenter a few weeks in advance.

The second one is the fourth Saturday of the month...but often cancelled if there's something else planned that month. That one is less structured and informal. That's the one I go to. They book the room and meet for about 90 minutes. We pick topics to discuss and go for it. People leave as they want/need, and there's a group of us that tends to hang around until the room is needed or we need to go. That's why I like it. I actually get to sit and chat with people one on one.

Next month, on April 1 we will be accepting clothing/accessory donations. We sort by size and set up to sell the next morning. Every piece, no matter what it is, sells for $1. All the money goes back to the support group.

I guess in the summer months the Saturday one is often cancelled and they have group outings/parties where patients and their families are invited. This weekend will be my third meeting, and I'm a bit nervous about them canceling for outings. I'm your stereotypical introvert. I am SUPER quiet and uncomfortable until I know people. Even then, when I do become social I don't last too long, lol. It's draining and I end up isolating myself or leaving. But, I do see how important the "real world" support is. I'm hoping to get to know one of these people well enough that I do ok at the get togethers!

anbrdr

I'd look in to starting a Meetup, as I can't find any in my area, but I really don't to be in charge of that.

ssbeadlady

I know the in person meetup is far better but how about doing a virtual meetup on here. We could have a weekly topic posting and all reply to it.
In the past like 2006 I was involved in a traveling clothing box. Where the first person starts a box of clothing and sends it to someone who can select something and adds to the box. We usually would have some kind of a list going as to the sizes in the box. So people could decide based on the sizes if they wanted to get the box soon. We had to resend the box within 4 to 5 days of having received it and list the sizes in a traveling clothing box thread. Around the holiday one lady added all kinds of cool craft items as gifts to those whom asked for the box to be sent to them. Instead of paying for the clothing we just pay for the box to be shipped to the next person on the list. I remember getting a denim jacket and some shirts one month.