Confession of a binge.

jdres

Hi everyone!

I have been doing well the past four days! I was so proud and even wore a crop top to celebrate my success.

Well, tonight I let it all get to my head and let a binge take over. I'm going to list out what I ate so if it's a trigger for anyone please don't continue reading. I just need to spill it out to the community.

Sour patch kids
Sweedishfish
Raspberry and blackberry gummies
Popcorn
Chips
Multigrain chips
Bread and butter
Bread, mayo and cheese sammy
Fruity pebbles cereal
Strawberries
Grapes
Twizlers

Boy, am I sad and uncomfortable. I knew I was going to feel this way too. Black out and autopilot took over. I'm terrified of the mirror tomorrow.

I'm presenting at a conference in Boston Wednesday and have none of my research planned out on a poster. I guess I'm consumed by stress as we all often are.

Will this day hurt me? Am I doomed comes 9am?

Thanks everyone for reading.
All my love.

KnitOrMiss

I just wanted to say that, for me, acknowledging any kind of progress or success makes me spiral out of control almost every single time. It kills me... So I kind of float along, attempting to MEH out any progress markers or not formally state/announce anything so as not to set myself back. Weird, I know, but it does help.

That being said, one thing I notice about your entire list is sugar/quick-refined-processed carbs... Have you considered lowering some of your sugars/carbs to start creating a resistance of sort over your trigger foods?

Stress eating hits nearly everyone everywhere.

You are never doomed if you keep fighting back... No matter what quantities of those foods you ate (short of maybe a dump truck worth of each item), anything the mirror tells you tomorrow will probably be a lie. You may be some fat stored, and you'll have some water retainage with all that, but it won't be enough to make a dramatic difference. Work on banishing the guilt...

(HUGS) and good luck!

redrosez4

Thank you for sharing this. It is good to acknowledge the good with the bad. This type of disorder is very up and down, which makes it hard to feel like you're making progress. There are days where I just want to stop fighting and let it take over me. If it wasn't for my loved ones, I probably would have done that by now.

It's OK... It's OK that you had a slip-up. Tomorrow is a new day where you can start fresh and make this a memory.

I am sure with time as we re-build our habits, this becomes easier. It will take time and we will slip-up along the way... Life is like that. But we have to keep telling ourselves that we can do this. We can. I can do this and become the person I have longed to be.

jdres

@redrosez4 @KnitOrMiss thank you so much for responding. I just saw these.. For some reason I don't get notified!!

I've continued binging late at night. My family asks why I eat so much and weight jokes are thrown. It's okay, though. Having them make this "real" is good for me.. Snaps me out of my zone, you know?

I've notice if I allow myself sugar or bread, I LOSE CONTROL!!!! Intensely, intensely, intensely. Except with honey. I had it tonight and I lost it slightly but not as severe. I found myself wanting to go to my secret frosting stash but didn't..

I'm allowing myself sugar and bread May 1st, my Easter. That being said, I'll be working towards my goal of no binging and try not to eat these processed and sugar filled foods.

I really appreciate you both responding. It mean a lot to me.

All my love

JessiLynnFit

Hey girl I've been there... and then passing out in comatose despite having tons of work to do. It's tough to beat but it's possible.