Does anyone else ever forget....

readytochange42

I know this sounds silly... But I'm working out regularly, watching what I eat, even lost more than 30lbs. I generally have been feeling good about myself. So I'm getting ready to go to the gym this morning and feeling like I look good. Then I look in the mirror and think *kitten*, I 'm over 300 pounds!!!!! Or sometimes when I'm out running errands, I think I look cute, but notice small kids and some adults staring at me and realize that I momentarily forgot that I am over 300 pounds and the biggest person in the room and that is why they stare.

Sorry, I was just getting ready in a hurry this morning and caught my self off guard when I saw my own reflection.

ClarissaCLD

I don't have a full length mirror in the house and rarely look in the mirror other than at my face because in my mind I don't look as bad as I actually do.

LCSt68

Does anyone else ever forget what? That they're cute? Me. All the time. I'm gonna hang a post-it on my mirror to remind myself more. lol

Peg posted a page of body positive mantras the other day I peeked at and they're just wonderful. (http://greatist.com/grow/body-positive-mantras)

The one that applies to this situation: There is more than one kind of beautiful. All kinds of bodies, all kinds of lovely.

And by the way first time I saw your picture, Toni, I thought wow she's really pretty! Truth.

animalrob37

Well there is a spiritualist group who believe in the law of attraction. What you put out to the universe you get back. I believe there is something to it but just don't let it affect the effort you put in to losing the pounds. Nothing wrong with telling yourself you look good, beating yourself up certainly does no good unless it is the only thing to get you to pass over that big piece of chocolate cake for the smaller piece or what have you. When I dropped from 350 to 310 a few years ago people told me I looked really good and I gained a lot of confidence. I asked a girl out and she turned me down but she kept flirting and I asked her out a couple more times. She actually agreed to go out twice and backed out. Well I finally got sick of the games and was like wtf and she told me I was perfect except I was too heavy for her... so she got back with her exbf who is skinny and likes to beat on her. I unfriended her and a year later she refriends me and I find out she rebroke up with him 4 months later. Anyway now I'm in a new state so her loss. Point is if you are still in the obese category and someone says how good you look feel proud feel happy but realize they are comparing you to your former self and not everybody else.

krce

I know exactly what you mean, but push those thoughts aside! And enjoy your new found confidence!!!!

LCSt68

@rob, seriously? I get you're attracted to this person but wow. She needs to work on herself. Badly. ... On the heels of that thought, why is it the people we need the least in our lives are always the most attractive to us.

RunawayCurves

Yes I sometimes forget. In my minds eye I am 100lb less. I do have mirrors in my home so am desensitised to seeing my reflection. For some reason I remain shocked by mirrors in gyms or reflection in shop windows. Anytime I go under 300lb part of my brain declares I am now slim even though I know that is not true. Having never been actually slim I find it hard to comprehend what it would be like. I am used to having a big body. Thin people look scary breakable to me sometimes and I have to remind myself they are normal human sized beings and it is me that is not right size. Perhaps I think of myself as a different breed of human like you get greyhound dogs and newfoundland dogs. I am just a newfoundland variety of human.

flatcoatedR

It's amazing how when your so heavy and you lose a little or one day you just wake up felling thinner, then you look in the mirror or accidentally see yourself in a store window and you think "I am not any thinner" or " I still look as fat as I did yesterday". How it can not just ruin your day but cause you to think "What's the use"....and start eating. I learned years ago when losing weight not to look in the mirror below my shoulders as much as possible. It helps me. I do the same thing with the scale. Which is why I can't weigh on a daily basis.

1cand0it2

I also forget sometimes too. I have lost over 75 pounds, but still have a way to go. Weird, though, when I go to jazzercise, I look at my jiggly arms, but also look at my muscles or the (newish) curve at my waist, and also whether I'm doing the move correctly! All at the same time.

Today I wore a sleeveless dress and have alternated between admiring my shoulders and despairing over my pasty-white-fleshy upper arms. But I did go out in public and no one ran in fear! No one stared in horror either.

animalrob37

I hate store windows. I think they are designed so that everybody looks bigger.

LCSt68

I'm one of the ladies who is never going to be petite. I'm about an inch from six feet, built sturdy and quite strong. I have large hands and feet and broad-ish shoulders. I spent my youth not nearly as heavy as I am now, and actually quite attractive, but the boys around me took one look at my height and build and said NOPE.

So... I've gotten used to the 'big' adjective pretty early and accepted it as fact. Probably one of the reasons I allowed myself to get to this size. It'd always been a thing. What I didn't realize is that when I finally acknowledged I was big even for my personal standards, to everyone else I'd become 'the mountain that walks' and quite intimidating.

I would love to know what it feels like to be one of those cute, petite, feminine, pint-sized women men seem to prefer. Although now I think of it they complain quite about about the challenges of being small.

1cand0it2

Hi Lisa, I have that "German farm girl" build also, and it's tough for high school boys to appreciate the tall beautiful young women. Hopefully that changed for you in college as it did me. I find that many men seem to prefer tall and healthy (even sturdy), so no wishful thinking here. I think our world is just different from the petite world, with different rules.

I just wish I didn't have such sturdy legs!!! And of course, 20 extra pounds on a 6 footer can easily put you into plus sizes...

Also, I think that being a twin helped me with the height issue...although I was taller than all my friends, my closest companion was the same size, so I didn't feel odd.

LCSt68

Peg, I laughed at your "German farm girl" reference. That was awesome. I found out my paternal ancestors were actually German and I live in Germany now, so I may quite literally be descended from a long line of German farm girls. LOL Mystery solved! Humor aside this country really is the Land Of The Big People. I attended a soccer game and the lobby was full of giants. Head and shoulders above me and BIG. Very tall and sturdy. Felt like I'd landed in a crowd of Vikings. And it wasn't the players you'd expect to be large, it was all fans. Those guys, I came up about to arm pit level. In stark contrast there were tiny people (Turkish, Italian, French) snaking in and out around belt buckle height. I thought "Honey I'm home!" lol

1cand0it2

Too funny! My grandparents emigrated from Germany when my father was about 16. (they later became citizens, he never did). On my mother's side my ancestors also came from Germany, so the tall strong build was inevitable.

KristenNagle1

I feel this way too sometimes and I hate it! Especially when I spend extra time on my hair and makeup and picking out a nice outfit, feeling really good and "thin" because I have lost 11 lbs. Then I see myself and all the good feelings go out the window. I try to push the bad thoughts away but it's really hard sometimes. It all really hit home when I took some 'before' pics the other day - I keep looking at them, thinking 'that can't be me' I even went so far as to SHOW people the pics and ask them if that is what I look like. How awkward for them lol. And no one fought me on it, so yeah, that's me. I need to remember I may be over 300 lbs but that is just one little itty bitty fact about me, it's not all of me.

smurphy90

LCSt68 wrote: »

I'm one of the ladies who is never going to be petite. I'm about an inch from six feet, built sturdy and quite strong. I have large hands and feet and broad-ish shoulders. I spent my youth not nearly as heavy as I am now, and actually quite attractive, but the boys around me took one look at my height and build and said NOPE.

So... I've gotten used to the 'big' adjective pretty early and accepted it as fact. Probably one of the reasons I allowed myself to get to this size. It'd always been a thing. What I didn't realize is that when I finally acknowledged I was big even for my personal standards, to everyone else I'd become 'the mountain that walks' and quite intimidating.

I would love to know what it feels like to be one of those cute, petite, feminine, pint-sized women men seem to prefer. Although now I think of it they complain quite about about the challenges of being small.

I'm exactly the same way. 5'11", barefoot. Athletic, broad-shoulders and hips, huge diaphragm! I am just big, even when I'm at a very healthy weight. I physically cannot fit into jeans smaller than a US 9-10. I would have to break my hips. Even thin, I typically wearing large shirts (and even US size 14 or so dresses) because my shoulders and diaphragm are so broad.

When you add all of that with a lot of extra weight, you really do feel like this massive mountain: towering over everyone and being overweight to boot. I just want to shrink so people don't notice me all the time.

The only reason I don't like being big (not in the weight sense, just in my general build) is because I love high heels but HATE being easily noticeable, and nothing screams, "Notice me!" like a 6'3" obese woman. It also does get really annoying to have tops that are 3 or so sizes larger than your bottoms. When people ask about body shape (pear, apple, hourglass) I always tell them I'm built like one of those double Popsicles, that you snap in the middle. I'm blocky and broad on top and my legs are like these tiny sticks holding me up. :P

BigChangeNeeded

smurphy90 wrote: »

When people ask about body shape (pear, apple, hourglass) I always tell them I'm built like one of those double Popsicles, that you snap in the middle. I'm blocky and broad on top and my legs are like these tiny sticks holding me up. :P

OH.MY.GOD!

This is me, ha ha. Whilst I'm not overly tall (I'm just a tiny bit above average), this is the best way of describing my body shape that I've ever seen!

I kinda thought in the past that I was a bit like a pear on stilts, but the 'double popsicle' is what I'll be using from now on. I'm kinda hoping my broad shoulders will soften a little as I lose weight though (doubt I'll be that lucky though).

sharondjs

yes all mirrors should blow up !!!! . There's a real rush when you have lost some weight , done a new class , walked that first mile Etc.. it's exciting & that's one of the things that keeps us going . It's like when you talk to childhood friends it's hard to remember that was 20 , 30 or more years ago . it's good to see your self as you want to be & how you believe you are I believe thoughts become actions think it see it do it !!! It works for all the bad , negative self talk we do why not the good . I have some positive affirmations taped up around the place one is on my floor length mirror in the bedroom . I read a book recently on NLP and the subconscious mind how it takes directions from what we think if we think about how fat we are all day then we are telling our body we are fat so it will slow everything down to stay as we have ordered it to etc maybe not quite that simple but you get it !!!
So by telling yourself you are already .... you are giving those instructions to your subconscious to work with .. Re positive affirmations
Here are some of them
I am Beautiful in Mind Body & Spirit
I Believe in myself & I Choose Myself
I Choose to be Slim & Healthy
I Eat Clean & Healthy Everyday
Exercise makes me Feel Good
Being Fit is Easy & Effortless
I am making positive changes & Habits everyday
Act as though you are & you will be - you know the saying fake it till you make it this is a bit the same - tell yourself you are & you will be !!!

animalrob37

Law of attraction - what you put out to the Universe, you receive back. Think thin to be thin. Instead of I need to eat 1500 calories because I'm a fattie and I don't deserve more calories, say I'm a thin person so I need to eat 1500 calories to maintain my thin appearance.

RunawayCurves

Excellent Rob, it is clearly working for you, you are manifesting your true form at a great pace

birgitkwood

Another big blonde German farm girl here - literally. Grandparents on both sides were farmers in Germany. My parents and I immigrated to USA when I was 12 (in 1967). 6ft tall, shoes size 11 - impossible not to notice wherever I go. I've spent my life towering overt everyone. When I was a kid, and in high school, I HATED being so big! Very painful for a young girl. I've found though, that there are advantages. Professionally I manage an apartment community, and my size is intimidating to some of my tenants. Hey - if it helps keep them in line, I'll take it! But yes, I do forget how others see me. I feel like just "me," and I live my life like everyone else. I forget that people who don't know me sometimes see a scary "Jolly Green Giant," and that my size is off-putting to some people.

1cand0it2

@

SarahsFitMess

I battle with my reflection all the time. I've lost nearly 50 lbs and I know I wear smaller clothes so my body must have changed but I see no difference. I've been told by others that I look smaller but it's hard to believe when I can't see it.

I know it's probably because I see myself every day so I can't see the change. I'm just hoping that one day it hits me.

Im sure it'll have to catch up with us one day. We'll see the difference and know our hard work was worth it.

1cand0it2

I'm with you. I took my dog to a training class that had 2-way glass and caught a look at myself...and only saw the fat.

On the plus side, I have decided that short sleeves don't cover up my fat arms anyway, so I've gone sleeveless for working out this summer! ROFLMAO

Maybe I'll get a little bit of a tan.

OhMsDiva

I dont intentionally look in mirrors or glass windows, but if I am in a dressing room I will make myself look and I say Hey at least I am not the size I used to be. I was looking in the mirror in the restroom at my job last week and I had to do a double take to see if it was really me. Most times, I dont see the change but that day I did and I was impressed.

carimiller7391

Maybe I'm the strange one in the group.... I have to be reminded of my weight. I don't see the weight. I see the woman I was in school, the woman I am now.... The strong woman who watched her father pass away peacefully in July (and cried and still do), the woman who wants to live a good life and is trying to do so. I don't see the weight I carry around, I see the healthy choices I make and the life I'm making for myself.