I don't have a full length mirror in the house and rarely look in the mirror other than at my face because in my mind I don't look as bad as I actually do.

Well there is a spiritualist group who believe in the law of attraction. What you put out to the universe you get back. I believe there is something to it but just don't let it affect the effort you put in to losing the pounds. Nothing wrong with telling yourself you look good, beating yourself up certainly does no good unless it is the only thing to get you to pass over that big piece of chocolate cake for the smaller piece or what have you. When I dropped from 350 to 310 a few years ago people told me I looked really good and I gained a lot of confidence. I asked a girl out and she turned me down but she kept flirting and I asked her out a couple more times. She actually agreed to go out twice and backed out. Well I finally got sick of the games and was like wtf and she told me I was perfect except I was too heavy for her... so she got back with her exbf who is skinny and likes to beat on her. I unfriended her and a year later she refriends me and I find out she rebroke up with him 4 months later. Anyway now I'm in a new state so her loss. Point is if you are still in the obese category and someone says how good you look feel proud feel happy but realize they are comparing you to your former self and not everybody else.

@rob, seriously? I get you're attracted to this person but wow. She needs to work on herself. Badly. ... On the heels of that thought, why is it the people we need the least in our lives are always the most attractive to us.

It's amazing how when your so heavy and you lose a little or one day you just wake up felling thinner, then you look in the mirror or accidentally see yourself in a store window and you think "I am not any thinner" or " I still look as fat as I did yesterday". How it can not just ruin your day but cause you to think "What's the use"....and start eating. I learned years ago when losing weight not to look in the mirror below my shoulders as much as possible. It helps me. I do the same thing with the scale. Which is why I can't weigh on a daily basis.

I hate store windows. I think they are designed so that everybody looks bigger.

Hi Lisa, I have that "German farm girl" build also, and it's tough for high school boys to appreciate the tall beautiful young women. Hopefully that changed for you in college as it did me. I find that many men seem to prefer tall and healthy (even sturdy), so no wishful thinking here. I think our world is just different from the petite world, with different rules.

I just wish I didn't have such sturdy legs!!! And of course, 20 extra pounds on a 6 footer can easily put you into plus sizes...

Also, I think that being a twin helped me with the height issue...although I was taller than all my friends, my closest companion was the same size, so I didn't feel odd.

Too funny! My grandparents emigrated from Germany when my father was about 16. (they later became citizens, he never did). On my mother's side my ancestors also came from Germany, so the tall strong build was inevitable.

LCSt68 wrote: »

I'm one of the ladies who is never going to be petite. I'm about an inch from six feet, built sturdy and quite strong. I have large hands and feet and broad-ish shoulders. I spent my youth not nearly as heavy as I am now, and actually quite attractive, but the boys around me took one look at my height and build and said NOPE.

So... I've gotten used to the 'big' adjective pretty early and accepted it as fact. Probably one of the reasons I allowed myself to get to this size. It'd always been a thing. What I didn't realize is that when I finally acknowledged I was big even for my personal standards, to everyone else I'd become 'the mountain that walks' and quite intimidating.

I would love to know what it feels like to be one of those cute, petite, feminine, pint-sized women men seem to prefer. Although now I think of it they complain quite about about the challenges of being small.

I'm exactly the same way. 5'11", barefoot. Athletic, broad-shoulders and hips, huge diaphragm! I am just big, even when I'm at a very healthy weight. I physically cannot fit into jeans smaller than a US 9-10. I would have to break my hips. Even thin, I typically wearing large shirts (and even US size 14 or so dresses) because my shoulders and diaphragm are so broad.

When you add all of that with a lot of extra weight, you really do feel like this massive mountain: towering over everyone and being overweight to boot. I just want to shrink so people don't notice me all the time.

The only reason I don't like being big (not in the weight sense, just in my general build) is because I love high heels but HATE being easily noticeable, and nothing screams, "Notice me!" like a 6'3" obese woman. It also does get really annoying to have tops that are 3 or so sizes larger than your bottoms. When people ask about body shape (pear, apple, hourglass) I always tell them I'm built like one of those double Popsicles, that you snap in the middle. I'm blocky and broad on top and my legs are like these tiny sticks holding me up. :P

yes all mirrors should blow up !!!! . There's a real rush when you have lost some weight , done a new class , walked that first mile Etc.. it's exciting & that's one of the things that keeps us going . It's like when you talk to childhood friends it's hard to remember that was 20 , 30 or more years ago . it's good to see your self as you want to be & how you believe you are I believe thoughts become actions think it see it do it !!! It works for all the bad , negative self talk we do why not the good . I have some positive affirmations taped up around the place one is on my floor length mirror in the bedroom . I read a book recently on NLP and the subconscious mind how it takes directions from what we think if we think about how fat we are all day then we are telling our body we are fat so it will slow everything down to stay as we have ordered it to etc maybe not quite that simple but you get it !!!
So by telling yourself you are already .... you are giving those instructions to your subconscious to work with .. Re positive affirmations
Here are some of them
I am Beautiful in Mind Body & Spirit
I Believe in myself & I Choose Myself
I Choose to be Slim & Healthy
I Eat Clean & Healthy Everyday
Exercise makes me Feel Good
Being Fit is Easy & Effortless
I am making positive changes & Habits everyday
Act as though you are & you will be - you know the saying fake it till you make it this is a bit the same - tell yourself you are & you will be !!!

Excellent Rob, it is clearly working for you, you are manifesting your true form at a great pace

@

I'm with you. I took my dog to a training class that had 2-way glass and caught a look at myself...and only saw the fat.

On the plus side, I have decided that short sleeves don't cover up my fat arms anyway, so I've gone sleeveless for working out this summer! ROFLMAO

Maybe I'll get a little bit of a tan.

Maybe I'm the strange one in the group.... I have to be reminded of my weight. I don't see the weight. I see the woman I was in school, the woman I am now.... The strong woman who watched her father pass away peacefully in July (and cried and still do), the woman who wants to live a good life and is trying to do so. I don't see the weight I carry around, I see the healthy choices I make and the life I'm making for myself.