Anyone here living with a significant other making it hard to learn and live healthier?
yangpoua
Posts: 1 Member
I'm trying to change my eating habits and make healthier choices when it comes to food but it's so hard when my BF doesn't really care about changing his life style. We've fallen into a habit of eating out a lot and gaining weight and I don't mind just changing for me but with no support from him, I find myself falling back into that bad habit. Anyone here with the same problem but has overcome it? How do you do it?
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Hubs and I eat out a few times a week. My rule is: they have to have a good salad. He can have whatever he wants, as long as I can get a good salad with a protein on it.
It's all about compromise!10 -
My hubs rolled his eyes and poked fun at my change in eating for awhile. I'm still eating clean 3+ years later. In March of this year, he has finally jumped on the bandwagon! No pushing or any comments from me about it.
It was small steps. When dinner was cooked, I only ate what was healthy no matter what. We slowly began buying organic fresh foods because I wouldn't eat anything that contained "crap" or was processed unhealthily. My dedication to staying clean convinced him I was serious about it and not going to revert back to my old ways.17 -
My husband is 67 years old, 100 lbs. overweight, Type II diabetic. He loves Chinese takeout food, pizza, all kinds of cheap frozen food crap with all the wrong things in it. Most recently, I made a deal with him: if he helps me with the dishes, I will make his favorite comfort foods in nice dinners every night (meaning not my preferred salads, vegetable stirfries, etc.) So I bought Hungry Girl's CLEAN AND HUNGRY cookbook, which is terrific btw, and I am trying to make his favorites but with some control of the ingredients and the calorie count. I don't know about him, but I am losing weight and feeling better!
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I do, I keep telling him, if I has pasta, potatoes or rice, don't ask me. He doesn't understand that. Luckily, chicken wings are an option and I can make that work. I try to do a steak with salad, or I make big meatballs with their spaghetti...It's so hard. On the weekends, he is all about drinking and whooping it up. Its a constant struggle for my mind. But this week, my second week, I finally lost 4 lbs. I am a perma grin and that just gave me more motivation. But now, its Friday again...I CAN DO THIS!9
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I'm from the the south where people believe in socializing with food and drinking. And I use to hang with the best of them. When I started to change my lifestyle 9 years ago because I was 100 lbs over weight it was hard. I just told myself this is my choice my life and my body. I don't tell people what to do with there's so do not tell me what to do with mine. My family would taunt me with food and sometimes win. But you have to put your foot down at some point. Just cause they eat the fried chicken doesn't mean you have too.16
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you have to come to terms that you are more important that making the wrong choices. once you do that, no one will be able in influence or sabotage your journey.5
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my significant other also makes horrible eating choices
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My husband and I are both over weight. I have been eating clean (90% of the time). He is completely against any and all food/diet changes that I am trying to make at home. He is type 2 diabetic and is non-compliant with his diet and meds. I asked him to not bring home junk food or pop anymore. I kid you not the next day he brought home a case of Pepsi and two bags of Doritos!3
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I asked him to not bring home junk food or pop anymore. I kid you not the next day he brought home a case of Pepsi and two bags of Doritos!
This is also what my husband does. I've stopped telling him I'm cleaning up my eating, or that I'm not eating certain foods because they would magically appear in my house shortly after.... It's an uphill battle!
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It's hard for sure when our significant other chooses not to eat the way we do. I'm doing it for myself and although I wish my husband would do it with me, he has to make that commitment for himself. It took news from the doctor to pull myself together and make the commitment to eat healthy for me. Having just finished the Advocare 24-Day Challenge which was extremely difficult but it changed my lifestyle of eating and having joined a fit club and am seeing results just in 30 days. We also have two teens which makes it even more difficult but I cook healthy meals and if the three of them don't like it, I tell them to make their own. They usually end up eating and often times liking what I made. We can all do it - it will take more commitment on our part but we must do it for ourselves.3
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I have been doing really well for the last three months. However my parents and my sister are here from out of state, and it has been really difficult to eat healthy when they are bringing in snacks, cakes, and other "crap" I am trying to avoid. I find that I have to keep that stuff out of my house or I will inevitably eat it. However, I did manage to grill and eat this last night for dinner: grilled wild salmon, grilled Portabella mushrooms, grilled yellow squash, grilled orange bell pepper, grilled green chilies, and shock top Honeycrisp apple wheat beer. Is beer considered clean eating?
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I know the feeling! While my BF is really supportive, he's a bit ignorant (bless that muppet, I love him!). I am cleaning up my eating, as I have found out I have intolerances to gluten and dairy, and my body cannot handle grease anymore (oh how I miss chips!). My BF says "you are doing so well!" which is lovely ... If he wasn't shovelling down a Double Quarter Pounder at the time.
He can eat whatever he wants and still remain really trim (though that doesn't mean he's healthy), and simple things like a burger or even a sandwich become out of my food groups. So he brings home sweets to try and make up for the fact he can eat McDonalds and I can't stop at one sweet, they have to all be gone! I've just cut a hard line - he doesn't eat sweets, so don't buy any, I don't want them.
Thankfully, he doesn't cook so that means dinner is always healthy (for the most part)2 -
My fiancé is not as supportive as I think he should be. I try to eat healthy and he gets mad like for instance if he is eating a greasy burger and I am having a salad he says that I am not spending quality time doing the things together. He can be so crazy sometimes. But the other night he said hey babe Im putting an apple pie in your bag for tomorrow and I said no babe am eating clean he said just a bite wont kill well my son walked and said she said no. She is on a mission stop trying to ruin it for her and he backed off immediately. I am so proud to have my son support me so fully.7
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I cook most of my meals on sundays and freeze them. I've been doing this for 3 weeks now. My bf is not supportive what so ever. In fact, he often comes home bringing me a burger and I feel bad for rejecting it but w.e I get over it. Now I count calories so it makes it easier that I cook and bring my food everywhere because I usually have calories left over. I do not cook all my meals because I take into account that there will be maybe one or two days of the week that we will go out. I am just mindful of what I eat when I go out to not go over my daily calories.
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When you're really ready to make changes, none of that will matter. No excuses will get in your way. That doesn't mean that you can't occasionally indulge or have a few bites but not daily.7
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Also, cook more meals at home. Meal prep a bit if it helps. And plan ahead for better options when eating out.2
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We don't eat out much, but we are both overweight. I'm trying to lose it, but he doesn't seem to care. it is REALLY hard when he comes home from work and sits next to me eating a WHOLE Box of cookies while I'm trying to choke down some fruit/veggies! Like seriously?! He knows I LOVE junk food... it tastes so much better than healthy food!
So yea, I totally understand what you're going through, and I'm right there with you.1 -
I know what your talking about my husband means well but it seems like he wants to bring in snacks a lot and we do go out to eat a lot. I am learning what is best for me and learning to say no. People sometimes in our life is so afraid of change and sometimes I think it is hard to get them on board. I am a Christian and having God in my life has help me so much. I am learning to do bible studies on healthy eating which help me change the way I look at food and people. I found out why I over eat and that was the first step I had to do before losing any weight.2
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we have only been together 1yr and 10mths, he is a total junk food eater, i wish i could change his habits but at 42 he is set in his ways, he only wants preboxed meals, slim jims, moutain dew, ets.....i have gained 40lbs since we have been together and i have to stop this insanity, i will not eat this with him any more...i have gone back to clean eating...he will either get on board or starve, i remind myself that its a habit for him from child hood, i feel its as hard for him to change his eating habits as it is for me to loose weight, its patterned in the brain, i feel the struggles...2
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I love junk food. My significant other keeps it in the house. I have a mantra that I repeat daily, "There will always be more chips (or crackers or candy or mac & cheese or cookies...). These are not the last ones on the face of the earth. You can always go to the store and get more if you want them. You do not have to eat these, today..." It's a lot of work. Be easier if the stuff stayed in the store. But dammit I can do it.6
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Yep, my partner wants to lose weight but is constantly plying everyone around him with junk food. I had an epiphany that what was making me reach for high-GI stuff is sleep deprivation (small kids), so my approach now is to remind myself that that's probably why he's doing it too, but that I no longer think it's the best way to improve my energy levels. And that it's okay to say no, I am not rejecting his affection just his crisps!2
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My spouse is 125 pounds. He can eat anything he wants and not gain any weight. He is a very picky eater, he doesn't eat fruit and the only veggies he eats is potatoes and corn on the cob. He also eats a lot of processed meals and he doesn't like seafood. I have been cooking separate meals mostly for about 10 years. Our daughter picks what she wants to eat. Daddy's dinner or my dinner or a little of both. I find it hard to cook for 1 but I usually cook enough for leftovers for lunch the next day or even dinner. I make chili or soup and freeze the leftovers as he doesn't like beans either. Once in a while I will eat what he is eating but not very often. He also does bring home the junk food sometimes and teases me with it but mostly there is no junk food (chips, etc) in house. I guess you cannot have everything in life.1
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My husband is addicted to desserts and most other sweets, and eats a lot of meat and dairy. I was in Europe recently which made it much easy to get back to eating a clean diet because everything in Geneva is very over salted and the diet is bread and cheese based. Now I hate salt, bread, cheese, sugar, and french fries (which are served with almost everything in Switzerland.) So I am currently struggling to eat clean while having to cook two complete dinners. He has agreed to give up beef, for now. Maybe more will come later.0
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Actually my husband encouraged us to change our eating. We're middle age and even though we thought we were eating healthy, the SAD diet (The Standard American Diet) his numbers would come back high from his labs and they'd put him on more and more medications. He finally said enough! He asked me to research and we changed to whole plant eating. All of his numbers dropped, got off his meds and we lost weight. The problem for us is maintaining that eating style and not falling back into our old habits. When that happens I read natural health articles, books etc out loud to us to motivate, that and the fact that we both start feeling sick and horrible. Even his eczema comes back when we fall off the wagon.I guess what I'm saying is we had to educate ourselves. Having said that, you can't make anyone change that doesn't want to. Maybe you can say there's a documentary you want to watch and casually ask him if he wants to watch it with you. Forks over Knives, Fat Sick and nearly Dead. There's a ton of them, on Netflix as well. Also, I'm the type that won't cook two meals and he knows it, so he eats what I cook. Otherwise he'd have to cook himself something. Fortunately I've learned to cook plant based pretty well and we never feel deprived.1
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I have to add, I do not allow junk food in the house. I know, I sound like the Nazi wife. I tell them I am a food addict, which I am. If they were recovering alcoholics I wouldn't wave vodka under their nose. They can still have their junk, just not here. They can go out for pizza, candy and ice cream.1
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wow many of you seem to have very unsupportive partners and that is realy sad. after several bad relationships like this with people who didnt take care of themselves I said never again. if they dont care about themselves how can they care about me? my BF now struggles with it because of his medical problems, he gets bad sweets cravings and sesitivities to texures and I have too cook a lot of special foods. but I have been coming up with way to take conventional dishes that he likes and converting the ingredients to make them healthier. things like spagetti better grains for the pasta, grinding up lots of vegtable incorporating that in the sauses, using chicken and tofu. there are lots of great recipies out there, find some healthy versions of their favorite foods and ease them into it slowly.change a little bit at a time, not tell them it is a 'healthy' version and see how they like it. serve it for a while and see if they notice much, and if they realy like it then tell them. it might make them realise healthy eating can be delicious and motivate them to want more!1
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antonia_84 wrote: »My fiancé is not as supportive as I think he should be. I try to eat healthy and he gets mad like for instance if he is eating a greasy burger and I am having a salad he says that I am not spending quality time doing the things together. He can be so crazy sometimes. But the other night he said hey babe Im putting an apple pie in your bag for tomorrow and I said no babe am eating clean he said just a bite wont kill well my son walked and said she said no. She is on a mission stop trying to ruin it for her and he backed off immediately. I am so proud to have my son support me so fully.
That is so sweet !0 -
after reading though this i am sad for some of the people who posted . It is a lot harder to do this on your own BUT YOU CAN!!!
My story to add:
My DH and 2 teens, can eat anything (but are all picky eaters). I can't . I am lactose intolerant - extremely so- and I just can't eat greasy food , it messes with my insides ( without being gross , im sure y'all can figure it out).
My dh has alot of stomach problems ( acid reflux and bloating) but refuses to eat better. Our daughter (17) also has Acid reflux (since she was born) and can't eat greasy food (still eats junk food). Our son just is very picky (no sauces, no foods touching - he's 15)
Overweight , yep . Tired all the time, i work 3 jobs -2 online , 1 physical so yep and double yep.
I give up getting them to eat healthier. I am one who buys and cooks food . So i am switching to healthier versions, or not at all in some cases. If they are hungry or don't like whats made, they are all old enough to go find the kitchen.
Willpower isn't needed with junk foods ( i can't eat 99% of it anyway or i throw up) but pepsi or soda has been a issue. I stopped buying it, but DH used to buy it by the case(or 2 each week)
Lately meals are much more veggie filled and green, adding in fruit and protein and my vega one shakes for the busy days( which no1 else will even try) . i am hopeful it will help me and eventually they will learn to enjoy the meals.
Good luck everyone
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Yes. I live with my mom, sister, and 2 kids. None of them want or choose to eat healthy. I had gastric bypass 13 months ago and I'm noticing I'm falling into my old habits because I'm around them. So I've decided to just do it for me but it's hard when I have to balance out my groceries to feed all of us and they don't want to eat what I need to.1
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It's certainly easier when you're doing it together. Hubby and I made a deal (actually he did and I agreed with him - sucker!). I cook, he does the dishes. Which is great because he doesn't like cooking and I don't like doing dishes so win win. Now I just have to convince him to help do prep for bulk freezer meals lol2
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