Surviving

luluinca

I'm not really sure why or how I want to share this, but I feel compelled to just in case anyone here has some advice for me, or might learn from something I'm sharing I guess.

Some of you know my husband of 38 years is suddenly having health issues at 68 years old.

We promised each other a 50 year marriage so I'm a little worried we're not going to make it but at the same time I'm trying to remain positive.

Apparently he's developed pulmonary fibrosis (scar tissue on his lungs) which is causing significant breathing problems. We have an appointment with his pulmonologist next week to get results from all the tests he's had.

I've lost so many people in my life already, both young and old, but I'm totally freaking out about the possibility of losing him too soon.

We made reservations at one of our favorite hotels down by the beach for a couple of nights the first weekend of June to celebrate our years together. I reminded him it was only a short walk of 4 blocks to the beach from our hotel and he said, "Honey, I can't walk 4 blocks, can we drive?"

I had to walk away so he wouldn't see my tears.........

I hate to burden this happy place with my scary thoughts but I honestly don't have anyone to talk to really. I have no family left other than him, his family and our kids and I don't want to burden them until we really know what's going on.

I'm trying really hard to stick to my program here at MFP and stay focused on my health and fitness goals...........I feel like I need to be healthy for both of us right now.

Farback

You can lean and unload on us Lulu. I'd always expected to go before my wife, but even with the heart issue I'm much healthier. I can't imagine outliving her.

luluinca

Thanks farback....I'm hoping the news will be better than he expects.

UncleMac

That's a tough situation, Lulu. Trying to be upbeat and positive for his sake might be hard but don't give up hope just yet. Modern medicine produces miracles almost routinely. Let's hope the pulmonologist has good news.

RodaRose

The anticipation can be worse than dealing with the results. Both of you will feel better when you know more about what is going on and the doc comes up with a plan.

luluinca

Thanks you guys!!!

d_thomas02

I agree with all that has been said.

I had a bunch of trite stuff typed out but ended up deleting it all.

I can't imagine what I'd do in your shoes, so I just want you to know I am here; listening, hoping, and praying.

luluinca

Thanks d_thomas, you guys all mean a lot to me and I appreciate that you're all willing to listen.

I'm not the type to wallow so I'll be okay and don't intend to take advantage of all your kindness here.

It is nice to know I have a sort of safe place to share things though.

Once we know what's going on for sure we'll know how to proceed, it's the not knowing that's getting to both of us I think, like Rodarose said.

Anyway, thanks again everyone and I'll be sure to let you know the prognosis when I know what it is.

chamblisk

We stand behind you....it may not be much but you know there is always someone here. Stay strong. It is hard to move forward without direction. Things will be better when the diagnosis is made and game plan in place.

luluinca

Thanks Kathi!

klkarlen

Adding my support. As I get older, my motto has become "hope for the best, prepare for the worst", and don't look for trouble, it finds us all by itself.

Hoping for a decent prognosis for your husband.

marekdds

In complete agreement with everyone, especially in this group, it could be anyone of us. We will hang together and support each other thru the good and the bad.

luluinca

Thanks again all of you, I hope you know how good it feels to have the extra support!

robertw486

@luluinca You can always lean this way when needed. You're one of the people that reached out with some kind words and concern when I posted of my occasional PTSD struggles, and that emotional support is a two way street. I fully EXPECT you to nudge me (us) for some support when it's appropriate. And in this case, even the strongest of people would have some concern with the unknowns.

Your strength is what is driving you to worry and prepare for the possibilities now rather than later. Don't ever mistake that strength for weakness, we are all human and all have worries that we sometimes need an ear or a shoulder to help us through.

luluinca

Thanks Robert! It's not very often that I feel fragile but this seems to be one of those times..........ugghhhh, I hate that. But I will take advantage of the support here when I need it so thanks all of you!

RodaRose

Remind yourself of your strengths.
Also try to focus on the good in your life and the good you two have created together.

luluinca

RodaRose wrote: »

Remind yourself of your strengths.
Also try to focus on the good in your life and the good you two have created together.

I will, thanks.

Mccmack

I'm sorry lulu. Loving someone forever is a great thing, you are both blessed to have each other. I hope you get some good news.

luluinca

@Mccmack, thanks I do too. He seems more negative about the prognosis than I'd like but I'm trying to remain hopeful. We do feel lucky to have found each other almost 40 years ago though, you're right about that!

RodaRose

We are here hoping with you.

AnnPT77

Just wanting to add to the chorus that's cheering for an effective medical strategy.

Though I've been in somewhat similar circumstances, I know just enough to know that this kind of thing strikes each of us differently. Difficult path, in any case, but all one can do is keep walking. While we have little choice about whether to face such things, there are always choices about how to face them. Sounds like you're managing grace and strength.

Sending well-wishes for both of you!

luluinca

Thanks Ann, I really appreciate the vote of confidence!

marekdds

Hope the doc had good news today!

luluinca

If no news is good news then sort of. The first round of tests don't show anything definitive that's causing his breathing problems.........so more tests and another specialist. The new inhaler seems to be helping a little though. If he could sleep he'd feel a million times better so maybe that will help until someone figures it out.

UncleMac

One step forward at a time...

RodaRose

Here's to hoping he has better sleep.

luluinca

Status update here...........just because it helps me to put it down on paper. It's been a rough week except for maybe Wednesday. Hubby has now developed a nasty cough and has run a low grade fever off and on the last week or so. He had an appt next Tues but I called and they're fitting him in today so we'll get the latest test results a few days earlier and hear what the doc has to say. I'm hoping they can come up with a plan to make him more comfortable while we try to figure out what's going on.

We're hanging in there but lack of sleep is beginning to get to both of us. I missed a run with my dog and now a gym day because I've been awake most of the night worrying. I wish I knew how to turn that off even though me missing a workout certainly isn't the end of the world.

Anyway, depending on what happens today we're planning on going back to his regular doc next week and also making an appt with his heart doctor to see if there's any relevance to what's happening now and his past, or perhaps new, heart issues. It's difficult to know where to go for help when there aren't any answers yet but maybe we'll get a clue this morning.

Thanks for listening............I'm trying not to overstay my welcome!

chamblisk

In my thoughts and prayers....hoping for some answers that will help.

UncleMac

Thank you for the update. Sending positive energy your way!!

I never realized how important sleep was until I was struggling to find some...

RodaRose

'Hoping that the doctor visit was helpful.

cabwj

Sending positive thoughts.