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Relationship issues and pain

Gogohobbs
Gogohobbs Posts: 31 Member
in Social Groups
My reaction and emotions with pain is driving a wedge in all my relationships.
Mainly I'm really not engaged anymore. We are living under the same roof trying to figure out what to do.
I can't be a partner nor want to anymore.
I feel like on my darkest days There has not been the effort that a lifetime partner would make. Like getting me some breakfast when I couldn't walk with out every step hurting ... I know I sound like a baby..
I don't think I'm capable of the love and respect it takes for successful relationships and deal with my circumstances.
Trying to sort this out!
Deep breath.. Of course I'm turning to food to comfort my heart ache:(.
Has anyone else experienced this?

Replies

  • krythie
    krythie Posts: 84 Member
    Try reading Feeding the Hungry Heart by Geneen Roth. This book was helpful for me when going through a very difficult time in my life. There are also many other excellent books and websites under emotional eating.
  • loobe1066
    loobe1066 Posts: 206 Member
    Sorry to hear you are struggling so much. As one who experiences pain when walking I don't think you sound like a baby. When in pain for the majority of the time it is enough to drive the patience of a saint. Yes it will affect your mood making you low and miserable, which then makes everything else a massive effort. Love and respect in any relationship is a two way thing, give and take. There are times when hubby or daughter will ask if the pain is really bad, not because I have said I am in pain but because I have snapped at them for no reason. The right person for you will accept and support you, pain and all. Have you spoken to your Dr about how pain affects your mood and gets you down. Have you considered taking an antidepressant. I know it won't help with the pain but it may help you cope with the pain.
    Try not to turn to unhealthy food for comfort, in the long run it will make you feel worse.
    We are here to support you as best we can
  • Gogohobbs
    Gogohobbs Posts: 31 Member
    Thank you so much for he input .
    I will look into that book.
    I'm very sad because it doesn't seem that I can do all this with pain and maintain a healthy relationship .
  • cjdsign
    cjdsign Posts: 202 Member
    Gogohobbs wrote: »
    My reaction and emotions with pain is driving a wedge in all my relationships.
    Mainly I'm really not engaged anymore. We are living under the same roof trying to figure out what to do.
    I can't be a partner nor want to anymore.
    I feel like on my darkest days There has not been the effort that a lifetime partner would make. Like getting me some breakfast when I couldn't walk with out every step hurting ... I know I sound like a baby..
    I don't think I'm capable of the love and respect it takes for successful relationships and deal with my circumstances.
    Trying to sort this out!
    Deep breath.. Of course I'm turning to food to comfort my heart ache:(.
    Has anyone else experienced this?

    @Gogohobbs Oh Sweet Lady,
    I'm sorry you are in such physical and emotional pain. And NO you don't sound like a baby. There are days where I can't even sit, let alone walk, so NO you are not a baby and if the partner does not understand it, then you are right in that this is not life partner relationship. It is when we are at our worst that we need that person to pick up the ball for us.
    As much as this is hurting, is it better to be in this relationship where you not only have to take care of yourself, but that you have to push through this pain to do so?
    When I was at my worst, I was told that I could not have my surgery until I went back "home" to my abusive first husband. This Dr. thought it was best for me to be not only disabled, recovering from surgery, but also being abused. He though he knew it all!
    What I want to say is, you need to spend the energy on yourself right now. Since you aren't receiving the help you need. I also know what you mean by healing it all with the foods. Yesterday I wanted to eat the whole fridge!!! I was so stressed out! I did start a new diet guide called, "The Maker's Diet" and so far it is helping with my pain. I am also doing light stretching, not huge and not for long periods of time, but often. I'm also reading when I get fixated on the foods... I am alone at my son's place, 2 hrs away for the next 13 days. So you all are my accountability! LEAN ON US!! And you can always email me. Just leave me a note on here so I can find it in my email LOL there is so much business stuff I get bombed with daily that I ck, but can miss things. CJD.Sign@yahoo.com
    Hugs Sweet Lady! CJ

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