Unwelcome Comments
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Someone mentioned to me yesterday that I'm not carrying much to the front. And it made me think "... so I'm getting wide?" Stop commenting on my body, people. I was already feeling fat yesterday for one of the first times during this pregnancy, I didn't need that little cherry on top.0
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Someone mentioned to me yesterday that I'm not carrying much to the front. And it made me think "... so I'm getting wide?" Stop commenting on my body, people. I was already feeling fat yesterday for one of the first times during this pregnancy, I didn't need that little cherry on top.
I would feel the same way you do. I would wonder what they meant by that. However I truly think she meant it as a compliment that you haven't gained much weight. Regardless it's annoying when people comment on your body. Girl, you're doing an amazing job with your weight gain.0 -
@wantoldme haha well it didn't help that I had happened to notice that day that I've lost all discernible shape from the back. I am now a box.0
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@wantoldme haha well it didn't help that I had happened to notice that day that I've lost all discernible shape from the back. I am now a box.
That's my fear. I'm also very petite so I would look like a short box.
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Has anyone else been asked if it's a planned pregnancy? Not going to lie, I was totally blind sided by this one. I have been asked by 2 different people and it seemed really odd. I am 29 and have been married 3 years so I feel like we are kind of the standard "ready to start a family" story. Both times it was by much older men whom I really like talking to, they arent jerks or anything. Maybe I just seem very young to them since they have 25 or 35 years on me.0
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I got asked if I was in touch with the father (he's my husband) by someone I had just met... I mean, what kind of a question is that??0
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Someone at work asked me how much I gained. Someone else from work asked if I was pregnant! I'm 35 weeks lmao0
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4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »
I just said 'Erm, yeah, he's my husband' and he said 'oh, cool'0 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »
I just said 'Erm, yeah, he's my husband' and he said 'oh, cool'
haha, maybe he was thinking about hitting on you if not
I remember an old friends episode where joey said something along the lines of "The best part of sleeping with a pregnant woman is you can't accidentally get her pregnant" Maybe there really are some men who think along those lines
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4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »Has anyone else been asked if it's a planned pregnancy? Not going to lie, I was totally blind sided by this one. I have been asked by 2 different people and it seemed really odd. I am 29 and have been married 3 years so I feel like we are kind of the standard "ready to start a family" story. Both times it was by much older men whom I really like talking to, they arent jerks or anything. Maybe I just seem very young to them since they have 25 or 35 years on me.
Yes, unfortunately. We have been married for 15 years and so far we have 5 kids and my cousin asked the other day if this was planned or were we surprised. My answer, because I don't answer questions like that was, "Twins are always a surprise aren't they?!". She dropped it after that thank goodness. Yes, we know what causes it and we still haven't stopped is what I feel like saying. Sometimes I feel as if people's sense of propriety has gone out the window. There are things you just don't say or ask.
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4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »Has anyone else been asked if it's a planned pregnancy? Not going to lie, I was totally blind sided by this one. I have been asked by 2 different people and it seemed really odd. I am 29 and have been married 3 years so I feel like we are kind of the standard "ready to start a family" story. Both times it was by much older men whom I really like talking to, they arent jerks or anything. Maybe I just seem very young to them since they have 25 or 35 years on me.
Yes, unfortunately. We have been married for 15 years and so far we have 5 kids and my cousin asked the other day if this was planned or were we surprised. My answer, because I don't answer questions like that was, "Twins are always a surprise aren't they?!". She dropped it after that thank goodness. Yes, we know what causes it and we still haven't stopped is what I feel like saying. Sometimes I feel as if people's sense of propriety has gone out the window. There are things you just don't say or ask.
twins! the though of twins terrifies me, then again the thought of one terrifies me too, I am so screwed....
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4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »
I just said 'Erm, yeah, he's my husband' and he said 'oh, cool'
haha, maybe he was thinking about hitting on you if not
I remember an old friends episode where joey said something along the lines of "The best part of sleeping with a pregnant woman is you can't accidentally get her pregnant" Maybe there really are some men who think along those lines
Haha! Could be I suppose... I'd never met the guy before so I couldn't say what his character was like.1 -
Has anyone else had someone ASK how much you've gained? I was caught off guard so just told the truth, and she replied, "Oh. That's actually really reasonable." What does that mean? Do I look so big that you thought I had gained 100 pounds or something? I just don't understand her motivation for asking.1
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jennifergmcnamee wrote: »Has anyone else had someone ASK how much you've gained? I was caught off guard so just told the truth, and she replied, "Oh. That's actually really reasonable." What does that mean? Do I look so big that you thought I had gained 100 pounds or something? I just don't understand her motivation for asking.
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I'm so tired of hearing "you're walking awfully slow" ... especially at the end of a work day. F yeah I am! I'm 9 months pregnant, I've just worked an 8 hour shift and everything f'ing hurts!0
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Hurricane_C wrote: »I'm so tired of hearing "you're walking awfully slow" ... especially at the end of a work day. F yeah I am! I'm 9 months pregnant, I've just worked an 8 hour shift and everything f'ing hurts!
I'm convinced some people just don't think before they open their mouths.0 -
Has anyone noticed that it tends to be women who comment on your body more so than men? Women at my work everywhere are like "You're so tiny!" or "You're so big" (yep, I get both... it's tending towards "big" now though). Meanwhile I swear the men are trying to convince themselves they don't see anything different lol.2
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Has anyone noticed that it tends to be women who comment on your body more so than men? Women at my work everywhere are like "You're so tiny!" or "You're so big" (yep, I get both... it's tending towards "big" now though). Meanwhile I swear the men are trying to convince themselves they don't see anything different lol.
Maybe men are more worried about offending someone (or sexual harassment charges) and women feel like its "okay" because they've been there to or something asinine like that.
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@Hurricane_C I agree! I do now think that women should not comment (as I go back in my memory and remember how I complimented my friend on her lucky no stretch marks ... maybe that was awkward).
That being said I'm fairly certain my midwife is pregnant but I can't ask! I want to. But I shan't.0 -
@VeryKatie I agree, everyone should keep their mouth shut. Including myself, because I'm sure I've said stupid things as well...
I had someone in the building I work at the other day ask how much longer I had, and I was SO tempted to say "Oh, I'm not pregnant"... I'm VERY obviously pregnant - like basketball under the shirt pregnant. My friend keeps telling me how great I look and that from the head to the bust I don't look pregnant at all. I'm trying to believe her and some days I think, man I do look pretty good... and then I see myself in the mirror or *gasp* in a picture and I think how gigantic I look!
We had our last ultrasound Tuesday - her femur is measuring a week ahead (37.5w), her head was measuring at 41w and her abdomen was measuring at 40w. The tech told us the ultrasounds can be off by up to 3 weeks and the femur is the more accurate measurement anyway. They're estimating her at about 8 pounds right now (which can be off by 2). They estimated our daughter to be between 8.5 and 9 at birth - she was 6lb 11oz... so it'll be interesting to see how big this one ends up being.
I'm trying not to get my hopes up - I feel like she's dropped a little more into my pubic area - getting more pain there. Contractions are uncomfortable but not super painful (knowing what they could be) and about every 20-30 min. And EVERY TIME I stand up I contract - super fun at work - even more fun at home with the toddler.... I had an angry belly this morning and I was really hoping it was my body clearing things out for labor to start and not the Chinese food I ate last night
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Hurricane_C wrote: »I'm so tired of hearing "you're walking awfully slow" ... especially at the end of a work day. F yeah I am! I'm 9 months pregnant, I've just worked an 8 hour shift and everything f'ing hurts!
I think for someone who has never been pregnant its hard to "get it" too. I have been heavier than this just from fat, but it is just not the same thing. Its way more invasive of your other organs, less even and balanced, people just cant understand till they experienced it.1 -
Today my sister in law (husband's brother's wife) was like let me see your bump. I don't have a bump. I don't have a bump yet. I used to have an eating disorder years ago but now she makes me self conscious. It's like she deliberately says things to me. She knows what I went through and is so weird. I really can't stand my husband's family.0
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Haha got my first "can I rub your belly" the other day. At least they asked and didnt just assault me out of no where.
Sidenote. I already feel huge and only 24 weeks, holy crap how does one survive this!?1 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »Haha got my first "can I rub your belly" the other day. At least they asked and didnt just assault me out of no where.
Sidenote. I already feel huge and only 24 weeks, holy crap how does one survive this!?
With fake smiles, irritability, tears and bitterness. Lol. J/k... sort of. And I agree, at least they asked!!!1 -
On our walk around the block tonight, one of our neighbors popped out to say hi and said something to the effect of she's never seen a women so ready and I need to get to the hospital. I laughed and told her I'm super ready, hence the walks. She said she just had to say something because she sees us walking and we're such a cute family she can't wait to see the new addition. I appreciate the compliment and I know she means well but really!? "I still have 2.5 weeks" is what I wanted to angrily scream at this older lady....0
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I had a lot of comments during my first pregnancy about how huge I was. I did put on a lot of weight, and I did produce a 10 pound baby (and I'm only 5'2") but I don't see why that's an excuse for people to comment. They wouldn't dream of it if I weren't pregnant. I tend to take it with a sense of humour most of the time, but sometimes it is just rude and unnecessary. It was primarily male, middle-aged colleagues who obviously couldn't quite remember what their own wives had been like. In the end I just snapped back, 'yes I've got a big belly, but mine's all baby. What's your excuse?'
I'm only 16 weeks with my second and just starting to show. I'm also having a planned c-section this time. That really gets people's tongues wagging. Let the circus begin.1 -
I really like when your walking down the hall and someone you dont really know but see is just staring at your belly, and I can almost read their mind thinking "so, is she pregnant or getting fat. definitely not asking about it..." or maybe I am just getting self conscious
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@4legsRbetterthan2 hahaha omg the stares are real! It's like the Manhattan once over except the eyes go
1) Belly
2) Face
3) Away - avoid avoid avoid1 -
My gosh. I wanted to slap my husband's grandfather yesterday. I really had trouble holding my tongue... and actually didn't succeed that well. Rant time... I can't go into this kind of detail with anyone in my family and I really need to get it out.
This is the grandfather who is sexist and wants us to have a boy. He makes me want to have a girl, just to spite him.
His lines yesterday (he thinks he's SO funny - FYI he ISN'T and I didn't justify any of it with laughing. In fact I purposely openly cringed many times. I even had to back away a few times to get him out of my personal space as he leaned down and yelled at my stomach several times):
1) Him: "I'm going to move my camper onto your driveway so I can come into your house everyday at 7:00 am to see my grandson"
Me: "Nope. I won't be answering the door." I've also told my husband that if he does it, I'm getting him towed over and over and over at the grandfather's expense.
2) Him (at my sister-in-law's graduation): "You're so big you could crowd 3 people out of this photo"
Me: "I seem to fit just fine, actually and have photographic evidence."
3) Him (he does this thing where he bites my husband's face - eww. He's done it since he was a baby. He also liked to nearly dislocate fingers and toes while doing the "little piggy" rhyme to my husband and his siblings when they were babies. When I mentioned that to my sister-in-law she was like "oh yeah! That hurt!"): "Did you see me bite Chris' face? I've been doing that forever! Look I left a mark! I can't wait to do that to my grandson! Chris used to cry if I DIDN'T bite his face! He would say 'Why doesn't Grandad love me anymore?'" (I don't believe that for even a second because I don't believe this man had the self control to not bite a defenseless baby back then).
Me (with a smile on my face): "Very funny, but you won't be doing that to our child. If you do, you will not have the privilege of seeing the child as I consider that abuse."
Him: "Ah Chris just said I can do it when you're not around (side note: no my husband did not say that - nor would he ever)"
Me (still with a smile on my face. I don't want to offend my husband, who is the sweetest. I have no problem at this point of offending the grandfather): "He didn't just say that, but if that happens I'll be taking the baby away from him too. I will not let our child be abused."
- My thoughts yesterday in my anger were that I'd be prepared to get a restraining order if I had to. But man that would not go over well on any level with so many people. But I'm just so pissed. Hence needing to write all this here! Sorry if I'm actually over-reacting. Also I flat out told my husband and sister-in-law as we walked away that I didn't think any of that was a joke, or that it was funny, or that I was okay with it and that I would be taking the baby away from that guy if it ever happened.
4) Him: "I can't wait to see my grandson!"
Me: "You're being offensive to women everywhere." - Thinking wouldn't he just LOVE it if we had a daughter and I told her right in front of him that he loves her less because she's a girl. Oh that would put this idiot in his place!
He thinks these jokes are so funny and makes them EVERY TIME we see him. I've had enough. I'm DONE with them. I will be talking back from now on and I don't give a *kitten* about a good relationship anymore. I'm just done with his poor attitude. My husbands grandmother has clearly been watching my cringes and unhappy expressions and tries to get him to stop but that self centered guy just won't pay attention. I've never met anyone in my life who brags about himself or judges others so much as this man. He won't even talk about anything that isn't one of his main interests: Guns/hunting, how amazingly strong/fit/martial artsy he is, how he's the best because he's Christian and therefore everyone who doesn't share his specific brand of Christianity is going to Hell, how Liberal (think government) people are stupid, and Sasquatches being real (fun fact - this grandfather has openly and seriously stated that he thinks homosexuals will cause the Apocalypse. I'm Christian too but I would never say that nor do I believe it! I know how to see the world from other peoples' perspectives and have no problem with people who have different but still good hearted beliefs than mine.)
Talk about ways to irritate a super pregnant woman. He will be the last to see the baby out of the family if I have anything to do with it.
I ended up telling my husband that I was going to start teaching this "man" better from now on. My dad is nowhere near as bad (they're born in the same era) and my family has made sure that on the few occasions he has said insensitive things that we tell him why it's not appropriate and how to correct it - and he has taken it to heart and greatly improved. I told my husband I'll be doing the same with his grandfather from now on. No child of mine is going to learn that behaviour like this grandfather's is ever okay. It is not to be tolerated any more.
/Fin.1
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