Breaking up with a friend

fluffyfontaine_

Argh! I'm so frustrated and am eating my way through it. I am single and have, but one, single, childless friend left. He is, to put it nicely, a sphincter of the nether regions. I can't tell you how many times during the course of our friendship that I've changed his name in my phone to "sphincter" (again, that's putting it nicely), as a reminder not to contact him. The only reason I maintain the friendship is because, like I said, he's the only single friend I have left to hang out with and he's retired, so he's often available during the week when I have time off from work.

I've noticed in recent weeks that I always binge after spending time with him. I was having a great day today, food-wise, until I spent a couple of hours with him. For weeks now, I've been telling myself to break off the friendship, but I'm afraid of the lack of companionship if I do. He and I text all day long as well, so I'll miss that interaction too (he's not a jerk via text).

On the way home from our coffee and walk, while planning my binge, it became clear to me that I HAVE to eliminate him from my life, or at the very least, just keep the friendship to texting. Spending time with him is an utter and complete downer, and I want to rid myself of those things that bring me down and make me binge.

I'm not seeking any advice or affirmations here, but I did want to vent. Actually.....has anyone else had to give something up a friendship that they knew wasn't good for them? How did you do it and how did you cope afterwards?

I thanks any responders in advance, for sharing.

shinycrazy

Yes! I had a toxic friendship in college. After spending a month with her in London, I was DONE. I told her how I felt and I didn't talk to her any more after that. Yes, I lost the companionship, but it was not worth being treated like an accessory.

fluffyfontaine_

Thanks, SC. I've also realized that by eliminating this person from my life or drastically decreasing the time we spend together, I may force myself out to events or places where I can meet other people. That would be a really positive thing for me.

guinevere96

I had a friend for YEARS that took a big toll on my mental health. We met as kids and with me being homeschooled, I clung onto that because it was difficult for me to make friends. He was a very manipulative person however and messed with my emotions a lot and he was constantly preying on insecure girls and eventually I snapped one day and blocked him on every social media I had and never spoke to him again. No regrets, at ALL. He was nice to me and even nice to talk to at times but the bad times really overshadowed the good and I am a much happier person now that I don't spend every day talking to him, Ive since learned sometimes you have to cut people from your life that are not a good match for you.

arniedog74

My only two best friends in school, were both not good people. Without me ever wanting to accept it, they put me down and crushed me... Used me... I ended both friendships at one time... I was tired of feeling horrible because of them. I have since restarted a friendship with one. Only because her children and granddaughter mean the world to me. It's hard to adjust to someone not being in your life, with they were a huge constant for 10 yrs. Surprisingly, I was able to move on fairly easy from the other one. I think of her upon occasion, but I know how much better my life is without her. It can be a struggle for a bit. But, you have to make yourself happy. And, that doesn't sound like it's going to be possible with that person in your life. Be strong and do what's best for you.

fluffyfontaine_

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I've phased out friends who were unhealthy for me before, but this one is going to be a bit more difficult to handle. *sigh* I'm a brute for punishment, but I do have a breaking point and it's going to snap soon.