I cross addicted to food!

Vonnarh1979

I was 145 pounds as an addict/alcoholic. Now I'm huge! I have cross addicted to good. I eat cuz I'm bored. I eat for a pick me up. I eat for any reason. Anyone else fighting the same battle?

sunvalleygirl

Hey Vonnarh! I see your post is like a year old buuut....I'm so in the place where you were at back then and just thought I'd see how you're doin now?
My name is Lisa, I'm a grateful recovering heroin, meth, coke addict/alcoholic and I've been clean/sober this time around since April 26, 2013. Imm46 yrs old and live in Vancouver, BC, Canada.

Like you....I completely switched out my addictions when I got clean n sober off drugs n booze. Food seemed easier than the gym at the time and unfortunately the last time I got clean it came with HEP C, PCOS & autoimmune issues so....I spent way too much time feeling *kitten* and using my I'll health as an excuse not to exercise while I watched myself go from 125lbs to 231lbs. Granted the doctors told me I needed to put on 25lbs when I cleaned up BUT NOT 100 FREAKIN LBS!

Regardless what's done is done and I've been back to my exercising and low carb, moderate fat, high protein lifestyle for 3 weeks now. I've lots a *kitten* ton of weight in the past this way so I'm praying my body remembers.

Food was generally used as a reward, punishment, time filler, boredom crusher and lastly for fuel for my entire life during my school years. After high school grad I started taking Uni courses in Nutrition and Kinesiology and learning so much about the human body...my body. I first got clean at age 21 after getting in trouble with the law. Stayed clean for 3 yrs and it was my first go at gaining a significant amount of weight for me at the time of 40lbs. Of course my weight always slid off as soon as I was out on a relapse.

My last relapse was 15yrs and I'm cop gratitude daily however after 4 years of steadily gaining weight (100lbs) I'm done. People always thought I'd die of an overdose. My family was preparing for my funeral at one point so it would reeeaaallly suck if I got clean/sober just to eat myself to death!

I struggle daily with food. Of course I've learned to love an accept myself as I am however I'm def not comfy with it and am finally making the changes. I was also put on the Methadone program a month after getting clean in 2013 as my withdraws from heroin just never got better. Needless to say I've weaned myself from 175ml/day down to 5ml/day and have a goal to be completely off by end of Jan 2018. I thought getting off the Methadone would be much worse but I've taken my time and followed good advice from those who've done it b4 me.

My hope is that once that crap is completely outta my system my body will find it easier to let go of some weight. It's ridiculous having other insulin resistant health issues and staying on meds that keep me fat! I think some days that if I put 1/3 of the effort into exercise as I did into getting high I'd be lean again, lmbo!

Of course I've touched on just some main points of my battles but if your into it, I'd really like for us to be able to chat, share some of experience, strength and hopes with one another. I tell people now that I'm an everything sddict, good and bad...once something gives me that rush...I'm hooked. I just need that thing to be the gym once again, lol!

Hope to hear back and another 24 to ya Vonnarh!

AlmostHomeNicky

I've spent years battling addiction and mental health, I've spent my entire life running away from accountability responsibility and anything that means any type of work on myself. I've always been a very positive and happy person who loves life. However I've never allowed myself to discover how to heal and love myself in a healthy way. I've been battling addiction for a long time and in that addiction it was due to all kinds of crap over the years. But as time has gone on and it's been a really long road I'm finding myself more more each day. For the first time in my life I'm finally allowing myself to be vulnerable. I'm taking little steps more and more on addressing my life and learning the work that it's going to take to change it. Battling myself is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. When you live your life and away for all your years and try to suddenly change all of that it is the most hardest mental thing to ever try to. But the more and more I keep pushing and the more I will not give up cuz I just will not give up no matter how long it takes I'm finding myself coming out more and more overtime. the hardest thing is not deleting this and running back to my little cave that I've hit it in my entire life. I am at the point now where I know this addiction will be behind me and the journey ahead is a powerful one and I'm so damn excited for it but the thing is is that I'm still dependent on my addiction because of the way I can't lose what I'm sober. I'm trying to slowly eat while using someone body can get accustomed to not starving so it doesn't throw all that fat. Because every time I get sober of course my body stores all that fat and then I can't get rid of it. The problem with me is that no matter how much I worked out I cannot get rid of the belly fat and I cannot get my weight down to a size that I'm happy with. I know I don't need to hurt myself in order to lose weight anymore because I'm past that now and I understand that I'm ready to live a healthy life and embrace the future because it's so exciting to think about. I love myself enough to see that I don't need to do this to myself anymore. I just don't know how to mentally get myself to not want to go to the substance abuse in order to lose the fat because it's such a quick result. I feel like the work that it would take to lose it in a healthy way just doesn't seem to work. I see people out there that do crunches and cardio for years and they still don't get the body that they would want. And that's a negative way to look at it but that's just my mind thinking and that's what I got to change so that's why I'm hoping to get help to not think that way. Time to learn how to earn it and do it in a healthy way. I don't even know what to expect from this or where I'm going with this, but I'm being open about my life and it feels good so I just got to keep that in my heart and trust it