Binge Free November
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Love it!!! Every day- every moment is a chance to treat ourselves w love and compassion.
Another thing my dietician has encouraged me to do is to stop saying I "should" eat this or that or I "should" exercise this amount or in that way... instead, show myself co
Passion and choice and say, I "might" or I "could"... I've found it to be very helpful.1 -
Welcome @Mersie1 and @graciebear16! We are so happy you both are here!
This weekend was a complete eating debacle. At the end of the week I binged 4 out of 7 days in the week. I gasped when I got on the scale today. BUT, I woke up feeling amazing today. I feel refocused and oddly calm lol. I can't explain it. I have a lot of reasons to be happy to be alive and truly am blessed. My goal right now is to be binge free until Thanksgiving. I'm not making any promises on Thanksgiving. The smell of turkey, potatoes, stuffing and gravy almost makes me shake it is so delightfully good lol!!! It's also the holiday season and I'm not going to give up enjoying it with my family.
How is everyone else doing? I hope you are all having an awesome Monday!!!0 -
@Gettingfit2017 I'm sorry you had a bad weekend, But it makes me Really Really happy that you feel amazing! That's so wonderful, and that's what it's all about; how we feel. No guilt or blame, we all deserve more than that - we deserve to feel amazing. I'm so glad for you. Keep it up
I'm doing good. No binging 3 days in a row, and when I don't spend time alone binging I get more time to spend with family and friends, which makes me feel amazing 0 -
Hi new friends and MFP Warriors! I have found that my most disastrous binges have actually taught me the most in terms of myself and has helped me to form a plan for the moments I feel the most vulnerable/anxious etc... I had a real challenge yesterday as I was so completely exhausted/tired. I have been feeling great and was completely caught off guard by how tired and emotional I was seemingly without warning. It is in those moments where a plan/coping and self compassion skills are everything.
My goals for the coming weeks/getting through the holidays are to continue focusing on what I am happy about/grateful for/what's going well... first thing in the am and last thing at night. Nourishing my body w in the way I've worked hard on w my ED dietician- 3 full meals and some snacks. I need to continue to work hard on not making my meals/foods "too healthy!" I have a tendency to want to rule out certain foods simply bec I know I can. The illusion of control that it gives me I must fight. Especially this time of year- it's tempting for me to say, I won't have any desserts until... that way of thinking is not actually in line w my long term-lifelong goals of how I want to be w food. It eventually comes back to bite me. My cycle ends up being I eat "better and better" (i.e. Very healthy/austere/less socially/more controlled.) my workouts feel good, fiercely consistent, they get longer. I convince myself I'm "on the right track!" I become more and more focused on how great im feeling physically and then at some point- whamo! The coin gets flipped and I'm bingeing, then bingeing more- I decide I can can "get back on track" -I dig in, doesn't work, my weight climbs, my self esteem plummets, my social isolation continues... however- for months I have been doing things differently! I have been making it not about my weight, tracking my food less and approximating more while trying to focus on feelings of hunger/fullness and the most illusive- satiety. There have been bumps in the road, but not the size of sinkholes anymore! It's difficult, but it's possible and I'm worth every ounce of the blood, sweat and tears that it sometimes takes!
I send you all hugs and high fives for believing you're worth the effort to feel good! Heart, soul and body!
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3 days of balanced eating; breakfast, lunch and dinner with health snacks in between.
Today; disaster. Normal breakfast, lunch and snacks during the day. Then 3 servings for dinner, several chocolate bars, 5 apples and 2 bananas, 5 servings of sweetened oatmeal, half a jar of peanut butter....0 -
That is exactly the pattern I am in right now @lilltessiiie. I have a good couple of days and then I go completely crazy. I'm sorry I wish I had more advice for you right now. I just wanted you to know you are not alone in this struggle ❤️0
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@Gettingfit2017 Thank you for your support. I can fight the urge for a few days, then I run out of will power and I just can not resist the binge, even though I know exactly how bad it'll make me feel afterwards. And I'm not restricting on my good days, because that's supposed to trigger binges. But I feel like it doesn't matter whether I restrict or eat normally, because I'll binge 3-4 days a week no matter what. The only difference is now that I'm not compensating I'm gaining weight... It's so hard. But it feels nice not to be alone in this struggle (even though, of course, I wish no-one to have to have this struggle in the first place)
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I'm really skilled at being good all day and binging at night. Like, right before I'm about to go to sleep I screw it all. A whole days worth of fighting and using a tone of will power. For nothing.0
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I'm so happy I just found this group!!
I used to be on the Mfp community boards a lot but haven't been in months (though I do continue to log calories every day and have been for almost 2 years).
I was successful losing weight and then have plateaued the past year due to binging (all that excess food completely destroys any deficit and keeps me around Maintenance level. But that's not what I want).
Do you mind me asking how you all define a binge? For me, it's unplanned, unaccounted food (usually snack food) that ends up being more calories than a whole meal--sometimes multiple meals. When it happens in the morning I'm too stuffed to eat most of the day.
Outside of binges, I eat 3 balanced meals and track to make sure i have enough protein, fiber, and fat. Theoretically this should allow me to feel full. But I don't binge out of hunger. It's completely emotional. I think it's currently because I'm so "good" in most areas of my life and this is the one area where I throw caution to the wind. I know I don't win anything and certainly dont feel good.0 -
@jaga13 Welcome to the group!
I think a binge is something different to everyone but I will tell you what it looks like to me:
It starts with a great general anxiety, and a feeling of being extremely stressed out. But it's a physical stress too. I can Feel the stress in my body. I can not think about anything else, can't focus, I can't be still, can't read, can't watch tv, nothing - until I give in to the urge. Then, the anxiety temporarily disappear. I zoom out. My body is numb. I'm like a zombie. I have no sense of time or anything happening around me. I want to stop, but I can't. It's physically impossible. It's like I'm in a vacuum. And then, all of a sudden - an hour has passed. I've consumed 5000 - 8000 calories. It's like waking up from deep sleep. I don't even remember all I ate. And I feel so bad about myself. Guilty. Ashamed. That's what a binge is like to me.0 -
lilltessiiie wrote: »@jaga13 Welcome to the group!
I think a binge is something different to everyone but I will tell you what it looks like to me:
It starts with a great general anxiety, and a feeling of being extremely stressed out. But it's a physical stress too. I can Feel the stress in my body. I can not think about anything else, can't focus, I can't be still, can't read, can't watch tv, nothing - until I give in to the urge. Then, the anxiety temporarily disappear. I zoom out. My body is numb. I'm like a zombie. I have no sense of time or anything happening around me. I want to stop, but I can't. It's physically impossible. It's like I'm in a vacuum. And then, all of a sudden - an hour has passed. I've consumed 5000 - 8000 calories. It's like waking up from deep sleep. I don't even remember all I ate. And I feel so bad about myself. Guilty. Ashamed. That's what a binge is like to me.
Thank you for sharing. I also feel it is impossible to stop.0 -
lilltessiiie wrote: »@jaga13 Welcome to the group!
I think a binge is something different to everyone but I will tell you what it looks like to me:
It starts with a great general anxiety, and a feeling of being extremely stressed out. But it's a physical stress too. I can Feel the stress in my body. I can not think about anything else, can't focus, I can't be still, can't read, can't watch tv, nothing - until I give in to the urge. Then, the anxiety temporarily disappear. I zoom out. My body is numb. I'm like a zombie. I have no sense of time or anything happening around me. I want to stop, but I can't. It's physically impossible. It's like I'm in a vacuum. And then, all of a sudden - an hour has passed. I've consumed 5000 - 8000 calories. It's like waking up from deep sleep. I don't even remember all I ate. And I feel so bad about myself. Guilty. Ashamed. That's what a binge is like to me.
That pretty much summarizes a binge for me as well @lilltessiiie. It's almost like I'm not part of my body when it is going on. And my whole body trembles.
And btw. My eating has been horrible. I'm hoping to reset next Sunday after thanksgiving is over.
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In the wake of what is going to continue to be a very rough November I hope it is okay that I join this challenge late in the game?
During cut phase I was so well focused. Then fall hit and killed Canadian trail running season, I fell underweight and everybody started freaking out, my aunt confirmed the date for her right to die with dignity (which is this coming Monday and I am struggling with hugely), some issues with my mom's health finally boiled down to a surgical date being made and my husband was away for work for a few weeks. I snapped and for the first time in my entire life AFTER LOSING 90 POUNDS I started some bizarre binge restrict cycle.
No one around me understands why I'm scared because I'm 5'9" and have gained up to 132 from 123, they figure it's no big deal. But the problem is that that is 9lbs of honest to God fat gain and I'm horrified. It's equally scary that I am potentially over controlling things to the point that I lose control (the binging) as I have OCD and a tendency towards fixation in general.
When will I stop being so embarassing? I am smart, I'm college educated, I have three kids I need to be around for- I should never have let myself get to obesity and I cannot go back there with this nonsense.
Conceptually speaking I am playing with the idea of weighing and recording on paper what I eat everyday but not inputting everything until the end of the week to get a sense of whether or not intuitive eating is (a) even a possibility for me at this point and (b) if taking calorie counting and macros out of the equation will minimize the binge-restrict issues. I feel like 1-2 weeks is a good time frame to gauge results. Idk, so tired of trying to reformulate a game plan for a problem of my own making
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@JessicaMcB Of course your welcome to join! This group is for anyone who feels the need of support. I think I can understand what you're going trough, and I feel your pain! I too think that restricting is not the way to go. The goal (at least for me) is to have a healthy relationship with food. No binging, no restriction and no guilt. Recording without restricting might be a good way to be accountable without being restrictive. No matter how you decide to deal with the situation, you have support and love in this group!
@Gettingfit2017 Me too. Tonight I told myself "I've already screwed up, so I might as well finish off all the junk food in the house so that I won't be able to do it all over again tomorrow"...0 -
@lilltessiiie Thank you
Today is going well so far (knock on wood). I'm running the risk of sounding completely mental here but anything that I struggle with moderating that is hard/impossible to eat frozen I stuck in the deep freeze. My thinking was that then I have to mindfully make the decision well in advance if I want to eat them without having to drag all three of my kids through the snow every morning for a protein bar lol. My meals have been well balanced, I stopped at three pumpkin spice oreos (huge as I've eaten one or two packages in a sitting several times recently, Thank God the stores are almost bled dry of them) and without having a running tally of values to figure if I'm "inside enough" I'm not angrily trying to cut down dinner, etc.
HTH I'm onto something! Hope everyone else is doing well today1 -
@JessicaMcB That is wonderful to hear. I'm so sincerely happy for you!0
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lilltessiiie wrote: »@JessicaMcB That is wonderful to hear. I'm so sincerely happy for you!
Thanks it all went to hell though. By 3 I couldn't stop obsessing about what the calorie count was for the day already. The second I plugged everything into MFP and it was higher than I wanted to see (still within my deficit which is the stupid thing) I ruined all the progress from earlier in the day and blew the weekly total.
I guess on the positive side at least I've identified that tomorrow I can't log what I've recorded until I'm literally in bed and away from food. I'm sad that my messed up brain has managed to turn this into another obsessive compulsive issue though because so much of my life is wrapped up in it anyway. Going to see my GP in the morning about getting back on medication 0 -
@JessicaMcB Alright - so you had a plan that you thought might work. You tried it. It turned out to be not so good. You analyzed the situation and what went wrong, you learned from it, and you figured our a new solution (contacting you GP). To me, that's not a failure. It's progress. Don't beat yourself up. Even if it didn't turn out the way you hoped, you still made some progress today 0
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I am so far off track. I've been binging for days. I stepped on the scale and I'm up 6 pounds in 2 days. I almost deleted this app and just said screw it.0
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@Gettingfit2017 I gave up on myself today too. I had the worst binge in a few weeks, and I though to myself "I already messed up, it's too late anyway, I might as well just finish it all". I don't want to restrict or purge, so I'm gaining weight super fast. Hate this.
But let's not give up. Let's give this another go in december? Finish 2016 strong and starting 2017 rest with some positive momentum going on already?0 -
Hugs to you ladies- this is a hard time of year. I've had some hard binges over the last month of floundering (think 10k over maintenance in a DAY) and as far as I can tell have only gained 5-6lbs of real weight. Still horrifying regain, but I've mitigated it with being as active as I've been previously or I'd undoubtedly be up 20+ following the numbers. Maybe try out new sports to find something you enjoy while you're trying to figure out binge strategies?
I had something really scary and stupid happen yesterday- I ended up in the ER over that binge the day before. My doctor is almost certain I have Celiacs so going back to keto (where I have amazing control and didn't binge once in seven months) is at hand. On the positive end I feel much better today, back to the keto grind and without sugar I'm not some crazy craving monster. On the not so positive side last night I could've stayed within deficit but ended up 3k over maintenance "getting everything out of the house". I did try to return as much as I could straight to the grocery store but some things it just wasn't possible and my former poor kid mentality couldn't handle throwing it away/ I knew if PS oreos remained in the house I'd never get back through keto induction.
Hoping my 8 mile run and some lifting will help offset a bit of yesterday anyway. Onward and upward! Happy Turkey day to the Americans!0 -
Checking in to say that yesterday was a successful non-binge day, managed a 1k deficit (not super surprisingly coinciding with me going back to keto) and so far I'm in good shape for today. Makes me so sad how much power sugar has over me (all my binges are a cookie/cake/ice cream hell) but I'm glad that I know if I make it through keto induction I'll hopefully have it kicked again. Then the trick is not slipping back to the mindset of "but I'm in maaaaaaaintance!"
lol I'm an idiot
How is everyone else today? How was Thanksgiving?0 -
@JessicaMcB I'm so sorry to hear about your day and the trip to the hospital. I hope you are feeling better!!!! I'm actually starting low carb tomorrow. I also have horrible issues with sugar and carbs. They are so addictive and I love them. I'm going to try 4 weeks of low carb and see how it goes. I'm hoping it will help break the binge cycle I am in. I'm so happy you found this group so we can keep each other on track!0
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@jaga13 I'm so happy you are here and found this group! All of my binges are emotional. They never have anything to do with actual hunger. I always experience extreme discomfort by the sheer volume of food I consume during a binge. During December I'm hoping to get myself back on track. I'm so happy you are here!!1
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