Anyone else have an inaccurate perception of yourself?
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YES! This even happens to guys!
At my lowest(adult) weight and my best physique ever, I still remember vividly seeing ONLY flaws that my brain inflated to massive levels. After gaining back quite a fit of weight and "losing" that physique I look back and wish I had that body and now see all of the amazing improvement I made!
It's so important to focus on progress! You're not going to get to "goal" without taking the going through the journey.0 -
Can I re-phrase the question? Does anyone in this age of photo-shopped models in every ad have an accurate perception of their physical appearance?
I think nearly everyone falls into one of two categories:- I am ugly and fat (based on aforementioned models)
- I'm not that fat (based on the fact that the average person is so much heavier now because of the SAD which has been pushed on us these last 40-50 years. On that note, we may have the SAD (Standard American Diet), but those in the UK have the SUK diet (Standard United Kingdom diet). The name of theirs is more accurate for what we have.
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I am happier staying clear of cameras and not looking at any picture anyone might take of me. I do not like the way I look in photos.
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...right at this same point I started having these same feelings...gave up and regained.
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I always "see" myself as the opposite. If my weight is down to normal, I feel soooooo fat. Once I regain weight, I feel like I am "normal". I am taking pictures, most are not shared with anyone else, because I know I have to adjust my thinking. I am ready to get back into my normal weight range and stay there. It is a process. And I think most people do not see their true self when dealing with weight issues. Men not as much, I have guy friends with an extra 50 lbs. and they are fine with that, they still wear their high school jeans, but of course their belts rest under that blob of fat on their belly to do it.1
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kimberwolf71 wrote: »Unfortunately (?) I am sort of the opposite. I look in the mirror and I'm still in my mid-20's at an excellent weight. Then I see pictures or put on certain outfits, or attempt something requiring more strength and stamina and think, OMG how and when did this happen?!?
Same! This is why my weight sneaks up, I look in the mirror and see skinny and then pictures come back and I can't even believe it.0 -
I'm the opposite of most people here. I was thin as a teenager and 20's. Then I started gaining weight and yo-yoing. I still consider myself thin even though I'm not anymore.0
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I don't like to consider myself 'fat', just temporarily really overweight.
My internal dialogue thinks 'normal', except when:
I see myself in a photo, see myself in a mirror, try on clothes when getting ready for work, put on shorts, try to go for a walk/run. Then I think what the heck happened?0 -
slimzandra wrote: »I don't like to consider myself 'fat', just temporarily really overweight.
My internal dialogue thinks 'normal', except when:
I see myself in a photo, see myself in a mirror, try on clothes when getting ready for work, put on shorts, try to go for a walk/run. Then I think what the heck happened?
Just remember, anything can be normalized. It's something that society as a whole is having a problem with right now. The "horrifically fat" of 50-60 years ago is today's "chubby". It's getting out of hand, and most people are being affected by it in some way.5 -
Yes- but it's backwards. I don't see myself as big and I am always shocked when I go to try on clothes and they are too small. I don't know why.0
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I think studying before/progress/after pics can help with that.2
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cstehansen wrote: »Can I re-phrase the question? Does anyone in this age of photo-shopped models in every ad have an accurate perception of their physical appearance?
I think nearly everyone falls into one of two categories:- I am ugly and fat (based on aforementioned models)
- I'm not that fat (based on the fact that the average person is so much heavier now because of the SAD which has been pushed on us these last 40-50 years. On that note, we may have the SAD (Standard American Diet), but those in the UK have the SUK diet (Standard United Kingdom diet). The name of theirs is more accurate for what we have.
The models aren't my problem, I just have a very high expectation of myself. I would whether or not they were there. The karsashians for example are very in right now and their bodies aren't that of the runway model. As for the second part, I feel like people have an unreal picture of me because of the average person being so much heavier now! I definitely have room to improve and not in an unrealistic way. But also, I am too hard on myself. I see myself as unacceptable just because I don't currently look exactly the way I want.0 -
I feel like I don't see what others see when they say I'm too thin right now. I'm at my lowest weight and I often consider going lower but want to concentrate now maybe on maintaining my weight and fine tuning it in certain areas with exercise to tone. I hate how I never seem satisfied and I think that's what makes weight loss like a rabbit hole for some of us. It's never enough and we can always see ourselves going lower. I added u if u don't mind. I know what has helped me is to listen to my body despite the negativity going on inside my head. What's set me free is feeding it what it wants even if my diet says otherwise. It's important to not always deprive ourselves2
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I don't feel as fat as I look, I guess I'm in denial. I took a selfie the other day for the first time and I looked at it and thought *kitten* I have a long way to go! I should have took one 32 pounds ago
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I began my weight loss journey at 318 pounds. I was 43 years old, and had been 250+ for my adult life. During my weight loss I could see more bones poking out, but I also saw the big me. After being at goal for six months I am finally seeing a smaller me. It's taken time, and many pictures to get here. It was my recent profile picture that made me, finally, see it. I had hopes of getting here, and it feels awesome!
Hang in there everybody, the rewards are amazing!!!15 -
EbonyDahlia wrote: »I'm down 35kg. My friends and family comment about how skinny I am now. My best friend of 25 years hugged me with tears in her eyes and said I look amazing, like a different person. I don't see it though. The mirror still shows me the same fat girl. I don't feel any different at all.
Have you thought about talking to a psychologist about this. I have held onto my weight emotionally for years and working on my head helped me0 -
I personally wonder how different this conversation would be if we all described our inner avatars/self, without looking at mirrors for a while. I get caught on the flip side of this, too, despite the picture evidence. If I really stop and think about the inner me, she's somewhere in her early twenties, filling out a size 14/16 nicely, curves and all. When I think about myself and who I am and who I'm to be and all of that, she is always the one who comes to mind.
The me at my heaviest weights and unhealthiest version of myself, she is foreign...like some version of me from an alternate timeline. 40 pounds away, give or take from that person, but it seems like 40 years sometimes. I don't even recognize her. I look at those pictures and wonder how I got to that point, at least when I see my face in a picture now, it's much closer to my inner me... The body still has some poundage to go...
I wonder what psychology says about our inner selves. Because many times, I get overwhelmed and caught up in being fat and life being impossible and all of that. Other times, I feel like my inner 20-something self is just kicking my butt, telling me to get moving and stop acting like an old fogie...
I feel like that 20-something me, but all old and wise in the head. Sometimes, looking back, reflecting on mistakes of the past, I even project my now-me's mentality onto past-me's present, and almost like rewriting how it all fell out. I'm not even sure how clearly I could see any of that nowadays... It's like the new me in my head overwrites the old me's ... mental hiccups, but the old's me's physicality is hard written into stone, and the new me's physicality KNOWS it is only temporary???
To reconcile the two seems impossible, but then I realize it's all just me, and it is just as wacky, imbalanced, and unconventional as I've become, and so I just roll with it all...1 -
Carry 30 pounds of potatoes around a grocery store for 5 minutes. It'll really make you think about how far you have come. Seriously - I've done it.7
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@McShorty7 - Honestly, I feel that same way every time I carry in a heavy load of groceries from the car! Some people fill up water bottles in a backpack to remind themselves of the weight factor, too!2
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I lost 70 lbs previously not with this WOE (have gained about 20 back since my lowest weight) and I used to get aggravated when people (my mom mostly) told me that I was getting too skinny and I needed to stop losing weight because I felt like I was finally getting to where I wanted to be.....
Some of it is just jealousy from people that can't get over the fact that you've actually accomplished success in weight loss because it is so hard for most people.
However, sometimes I do look back at pictures from my lowest weight and wonder if maybe I wasn't a little too thin....lol.
I do know that this is the first WOE where I actually feel like I could maintain my weight and get to a point where food doesn't control me so much. I was always great at gaining weight and great at losing weight but not maintaining so much.....So I was always yo-yoing back and forth.
My husband was skeptical at first....He worries about me and cutting out entire food groups scared him a little bit I think. He kept telling me...at some point you are going to have to eat something with carbs in it again. But when I told him how awful I felt after I tried re-introducing some carbs back in and how much happier my body is with this WOE I think he finally got it.3 -
Carry 30 pounds of potatoes around a grocery store for 5 minutes. It'll really make you think about how far you have come. Seriously - I've done it.
I wear 40-60 lbs. of weight vest for several miles any day that I am not training lower body. Unfortunately, it's still a bit shy of what my starting weight was. I need to get one of the 88 lbs. Vmax vests. That would be almost spot on.
I also need to start wearing them for pullups, now that I am over 15 reps with all of the grip styles.
My inner Hulk says "quit being a little *kitten*".5 -
This can go both ways for me.
Sometimes I feel like a lean mean dancing machine, then I see my reflection, or my a arm fat and am taken down a few notches.
Other times I feel like a blimp, then I put on my jeans and they slide down, and I'm like WOW I'm getting there!
I always try to visualize the little Lori inside, before life and societies expectations changed my self esteem, and I take her in my arms and hold her. Tell her she'll always be the most important, my best friend, and I'll be her hero.4 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »Carry 30 pounds of potatoes around a grocery store for 5 minutes. It'll really make you think about how far you have come. Seriously - I've done it.
I wear 40-60 lbs. of weight vest for several miles any day that I am not training lower body. Unfortunately, it's still a bit shy of what my starting weight was. I need to get one of the 88 lbs. Vmax vests. That would be almost spot on.
I also need to start wearing them for pullups, now that I am over 15 reps with all of the grip styles.
My inner Hulk says "quit being a little *kitten*".
Meanwhile, I'm looking to lose that last 10 lbs. so that I have less weight to run with, and on longer trail runs. I'm carrying a 10 lb. pack with water, first aid supplies, glucometer, glucose tablets, and some extra layers to add or remove.
I suppose adding weight for training would be helpful, and it can be left off during races.2 -
We all have such different perceptions and perspectives. I've posted once the sad story of the death oh my parents (to cancer) and the devastating affect it had on me. Point is, I was a decent weight all my life until then...when I fell apart. When I "woke up" 5 or 6 years later, I was an overweight drunk and was motivated to get "me" back. It was not until I lost about 80% of my excess 60 pounds that I began seeing me in the mirror again. The really odd thing for me was "the face". I had pretty much bypassed my 50s so when my weight was gone, I was nearly 60. The body was fine but that face? Oh my! When did I get all those wrinkles (and all the other little things that occur as we age). Its all good though.
It is what it is.
I'll add though there is a pretty interesting phenomenon that occurs after weight loss which is the extra skin and sagging that goes with flesh that has been stretched for years then "deflated" does seems to disappear or tone up naturally a bit regardless of the method one chooses to lose their weight. I'm sure all of us have seen it in before/after pics of others. When you hit the magic number on the scale and it turns out to not be as magic as hoped, give it time then rethink.6 -
midwesterner85 wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »Carry 30 pounds of potatoes around a grocery store for 5 minutes. It'll really make you think about how far you have come. Seriously - I've done it.
I wear 40-60 lbs. of weight vest for several miles any day that I am not training lower body. Unfortunately, it's still a bit shy of what my starting weight was. I need to get one of the 88 lbs. Vmax vests. That would be almost spot on.
I also need to start wearing them for pullups, now that I am over 15 reps with all of the grip styles.
My inner Hulk says "quit being a little *kitten*".
Meanwhile, I'm looking to lose that last 10 lbs. so that I have less weight to run with, and on longer trail runs. I'm carrying a 10 lb. pack with water, first aid supplies, glucometer, glucose tablets, and some extra layers to add or remove.
I suppose adding weight for training would be helpful, and it can be left off during races.
Absolutely. As Wendler quoted one of his high school coaches as saying: "I'm going to make practice so hellish that you'll look forward to game day so you can get a break."2 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »Carry 30 pounds of potatoes around a grocery store for 5 minutes. It'll really make you think about how far you have come. Seriously - I've done it.
I wear 40-60 lbs. of weight vest for several miles any day that I am not training lower body. Unfortunately, it's still a bit shy of what my starting weight was. I need to get one of the 88 lbs. Vmax vests. That would be almost spot on.
I also need to start wearing them for pullups, now that I am over 15 reps with all of the grip styles.
My inner Hulk says "quit being a little *kitten*".
I'm just happy I can do pullups now. Before it was a matter of maybe getting 3-4. Being able to do sets of 10 or 12 used to seem impossible.
I had kind of the same thing happen with running. I was never a runner. I started trying to run a bit at age 38. Got to the point of getting to a 24 1/2 minute 5k, but couldn't do any better for years. Dropped that extra 30 lbs or so and beat my best time by over 2 minutes and felt bad because I really wasn't winded and thought I could have pushed myself harder.
Those two things are what really hit me the hardest that I really was significantly lighter. Baggy clothes hadn't done it because I had been wearing my clothes a bit on the baggy side for years just because it was more comfortable.0 -
I think I have a messed up view of myself too but it changes from day to day.
Some days I think I look great and other days I feel like I look excessively fat and feel that way too.
My daughter has a messed up body image though. She is 5'6" and was barely 100 pounds, if that, in this top left photo with an A1c over 14 somewhere. She thought she looked great! She is saving some of those jeans hoping to wear them again at some point. You can really see how thin she was in her arms in the bottom 2 photos.
She still doesn't understand how sick she actually looked. You could tell there was something wrong with her health. She couldn't even go do things that required standing and walking for a long time. I took her to concert that summer and bought pit tickets. She had to go find a seat to sit in the entire show.
Anyway, she's back to a healthy weight now, I think she stays between 135-145 mostly. Top right. But she's trying to lose weight, luckily the healthy way this time, because she still thinks she looked awesome at 100 pounds.
I think I have her convinced that a reasonable maximum weight loss goal is 10 pounds. But she may just be agreeing to shut me up.
It's really hard to get a 22 year old to prioritize health over appearance. She seems like such a confident person. Just not necessarily on this matter.2 -
I wonder if showing your daughter images, @Sunny_Bunny_ of someone else at these extremes that she would notice the unhealthiness? If so, you could then show her that her own images were showing identical levels of health risks... Or maybe a friend/boyfriend could tell her repeatedly how healthy she now versus how scared they were before.0
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