Living the Lifestyle Tuesday 2/21/17

Rachel0778

Everyone says it, but just how do you do it? How do you take the guidelines of the WW program and turn them into a lifestyle you can live every day...from now on? That is what we are here to explore. Each weekday, a new topic is offered up for discussion. Newbie? Join in! Veteran? Join in! Your thoughts may be just what someone else needs to hear.

Monday --88olds (George)
Tuesday --Rachel0778 (Rachel)
Wednesday -- misterhub (Greg)
Thursday --Imastar2 (Derrick)
Friday -- whathapnd (Emmie)

Today's Topic: Drowning

What do you do when you feel like you are drowning in obligations that you can't back out of (family events, volunteering nights, SO's coworkers coming over for dinner, etc)? How do you still focus on living the lifestyle when you feel like you can't catch a breath?

beachwoman2006

At some point in your life, you have to learn to say "No". It took me a long time to learn this. But you know what I also learned? No one cared if I said no. No one cared if I skipped lunch with them. No one cared if I missed one of the volunteering nights (I did usually try to find someone to fill in for me). SO wants co-workers to come over for dinner? Is he doing the cooking and cleaning up after? If not, then maybe it's best for SO to take them out to dinner.

misterhub

The only thing I would add to what Cindy says is to prioritize the tasks: 1) Must do; 2) Should do; 3) Probably will do, but it can wait; 4) For someone else's convenience, but isn't really my responsibility.

If you are honest, there really will be very few in #1. There will some in #2. These should be your focus. Number 3 are things that you should be aware of, but should not be the focus of your efforts, while #4, quite honestly, should be ignored.

podkey

Sometimes skipped a few early on in WW. I can say NO.

Stress vs obligations plays a role. Hi stress I try to go for bike ride or walk or yoga. Lingering stress of roofing etc maybe some trace of low dose valium too.

Amazing how only "once a year" stuff seems to come up every month if not almost weekly.

gadgetgirlIL

The older I get, the more easily I can say NO to preserve my time and energy. I'm naturally an introvert so social events drain a lot of energy out of me.

88olds

Gotta sit in up for yourself. No one else is going to do it. Really. Older helps some. But my meeting is filled with people my age pulled this way and that by friends and family.

This is true- when I started I actually stood in front of the mirror and practiced saying no to offers of food at work. It helped.

spospo1

Great topic. I've been struggling "drowning" with work life, home life, health, friends, kids etc demands my entire adult life. I suspect that is similar for most people as they go thru the process called life. I certainly don't have the answer but I strive to achieve balance. Every once in a while, I succeed. Sometimes work life takes all of my time & energy and other areas suffer. At the moment, I am trying to focus energy & more time on health while managing other areas. I believe that the journey is as important as the destination, so hang on and enjoy the ride.

minimyzeme

I'd like to say I don't let myself get into those situations, but that's not quite true. For those occasional times I do, I work through it and then try to 'live and learn' (as opposed to 'rinse and repeat').

For the most part, these days, I'm very deliberate about my commitments. To be honest, it feels selfish at times because I don't give of my time in the same way that I did years ago. However, over the years, I've come to appreciate that there's a real difference between taking care of myself as opposed to be selfish. I think this is a fine line because there's a risk of blowing everything off under the guise of 'taking care of myself', and it can / does become selfish.

However, I think similar to WW, being more mindful of what goes into my day, what things and commitments I really have control of, and exercising that control is important. I try to manage work commitments for efficiency and realism. I try not to take on more than I can realistically accomplish. Obviously, this can include realistic scheduling as well. When working with others, I've noticed over the years that a lot of people don't seem to do that. In the end though, when work isn't done on-time or on-budget, the cat's out of the bag. So my approach is just to be realistic from the get-go. Of course, there's always periods of crunch time, but I try to let them be the exception, not the rule.

Family / friend / volunteer commitments are a whole 'nother but shorter story. For the most part, I stopped feeling obligated years ago. Not to the point of rudeness but just matter-of-fact not going to play if it really stresses me out to do so. I've taken some short-term time-outs and some longer-term. I also found I don't have to stop everything at once, just be aware enough to know how I'm doing and do adaptive management on the other obligations.

I am a stress eater (among other things) so the part I control to the extent that I do is not allowing the stressful situations to take shape right from the start. That is part of taking care of myself, especially since I know that's a trigger for me to do mindless eating. It's not workable 100% of the time, but probably averages about 85%, and that works for me.

leeless511

When I start to feel that pressure...I pause and make a conscious decision to determine what I want to do, need to do and then I know to what I should say "no." I don't believe there are any obligation you cannot get out of with the exception of attending a funeral (can't make up for that) or helping someone who has reached out with a real and serious need.

Things bubble up slowly and then suddenly "bam" I'm maxed out and not really happy about it. When that thought hits me is when I make an assessment. I'm also one for making lists/to do's to reduce the anxiety of keeping it in my head. Once on paper or in my calendar I can sort thru it and adjust.