Living the Lifestyle Wednesday May 17

gadgetgirlIL

Everyone says it, but just how do you do it? How do you take the guidelines of the WW program and turn them into a lifestyle you can live every day...from now on? That is what we are here to explore. Each weekday, a new topic is offered up for discussion. Newbie? Join in! Veteran? Join in! Your thoughts may be just what someone else needs to hear.

Monday - Jimb376mfp (Jim) & 88olds (George)
Tuesday - Podkey (Biker Bob)
Wednesday - GadgetgirlIL (Regina)
Thursday - misterhub (Greg)
Friday - TimDumez (Tim)

Today's topic: Unsolicited comments

What comments do you hear from others that you wish they would just stop making?

And on the flip side, what type of comments do you find the most helpful when you are trying to implement lifestyle changes?

88olds

1) Add this to your to do list.
2) Are you going to change that shirt?

Oh, not that kind of comment.

If there are negative comments, at this point in my life, I don't even notice.

Helpful. My Pilates instructor comments on how much better my posture is. One guy at Pickleball commented on what great shape I'm in and another was going on about how much my game has improved.

Most helpful, although not comments exactly, the yoga studio where I've dipped my toe in the water has a very welcoming & low key vibe. I've been other places where I felt pressure to pursue a yoga black belt.

Al_Howard

I hate it when someone says "You've lost enough. Don't get too skinny". Heck, my PCP "adjusted weight" is about where I started in 1978, and needed to lose weight. LOL

Jimb376mfp

Al_Howard wrote: »

I hate it when someone says "You've lost enough. Don't get too skinny". Heck, my PCP "adjusted weight" is about where I started in 1978, and needed to lose weight. LOL

I got my FIRST comment about "You don't need to lose anymore!!'l LOL
My BMI is Obese, I'm 5'8" and still over 200#, my flab and extra skin is there for me to see and feel every day.

Another comment I got was "How long are you going to do this?" This from a friend who has been "trying" to lose weight for the past four years. While I have lost 161#. She is the lady who can't drink a cup of coffee without four tsp of sugar!

On plus side I overheard DW on phone tell son on Mother's Day how proud she is of me.
A friend who joined WW said "I'm her inspiration."

Rachel0778

Since I'm close to GW I rarely get negative feedback on my body anymore, but I really hate it when I hear people body shame others in front of me.

My great aunt often bemoans that my cousin is getting fat. I sincerely hope she doesn't say anything to shame my young cousin in front of her face (teenage girls get a lot of negative feedback already and she certainly doesn't need that from her grandmother). I quickly redirect the conversation when that does happen.

I also have a friend who had a falling out with someone and commented with joy that "she's since gotten fat". Even though that other person did some horrible things, I think that body shaming just brings my friend down to her level. I told my friend I don't body shame no matter how awful the person is. Her body size has nothing to do with her prior negative actions/character flaws.

*edited because I forgot the second part of the question!*

As far as positive comments go, I love it when someone tells me how fit I look. Or in derby, when one of the girls points out how my body can be used most effectively. I think it's really cool what my body can do so I love it when other people notice as well.

gadgetgirlIL

I wish people would stop commenting on what I am eating. I have a long history of sneak eating that has persisted well into adulthood. I really work hard at not hiding what I am eating. But I still feel self conscious when someone makes a comment, not matter how well-intentioned it might be.

I also am tired of the comments that I don't need to watch what I eat because I exercise so much. No, really, I'm quite capable of out eating my legs.

An example of a positive comment is one made by my husband who sees just how much time I spend cooking each week to make food to take to work. He relies primarily on convenience foods. He says that he could never put in the amount of effort I do into food prep. He also bemoans the fact that he hasn't been able to lose the 30 pounds that he has regained over the past few years.

goldenfrisbee

If I get it, it is behind my back some I am not aware. But my wife would tell you that being unaware in my MO

misterhub

The only comment I really ever notice, which bugs the #$@! out of me is, "You're not supposed to eat that, are you?"

Rachel0778

gadgetgirlIL wrote: »

I wish people would stop commenting on what I am eating. I have a long history of sneak eating that has persisted well into adulthood. I really work hard at not hiding what I am eating. But I still feel self conscious when someone makes a comment, not matter how well-intentioned it might be.

This used to bug the crap out of me too! I don't get it much anymore since my current workplace is much more respectful, but at my old job people would ask me about my food ALL THE TIME. Yes, I realize I commonly eat more non-traditional foods (ie quinoa, veggie burgers, lentils, etc) but there is a huge difference of tone of "Oh, what's that?" to "What IS that?".

myallforjcbill

I agree with the comments on what I am eating and what I can or cannot eat. They can annoy me more than a little. But I don't get many comments any more. Perhaps when I make more progress toward my goal I will hear more.

DavidKuhnsSr

I hesitated to comment on this LTL. I can't remember the last comment I received about my weight. It's been years.

I do get comments about my fitness, at least when it comes to hiking. Those are usually accompanied by some variation on "You're crazy to do those long hikes." I take them as compliments and move on.

podkey

I got the shock and awe comment from DD when I drank a real Coke thè other day. Felt like it.

minimyzeme

I think working largely from home limits my exposure to the potential for hearing negative comments. I don't get many of them and the truth is I would pretty much ignore them if they did happen. I really don't care about anything negative someone else thinks of my choices to improve my health.

On the flip side, I do get a little boost from positive comments. Not so much now as when it was 'newer', several people supported my weight loss with encouraging words.

In retrospect, this question makes me realize that my approach is to just stay the course, regardless. I often replay or recall exchanges here on GOAD or from my meeting that resonate with me or help me to make better choices. That kind of insight has stuck with me far more than what anybody who hasn't walked the road has to say.

MurpleCat

Yeah, I still get a lot of solicitous comments about foods I eat -- like, if we're going to a restaurant, I'm always asked if there's something on the menu I can eat. Or if we're going to dinner at a friend's house, I'm asked about the menu. I realize that they're trying to be helpful and supportive but it sometimes gets tiresome talking about my diet all the time. I want to tell them that I'm an adult and I'll work it out for myself when I get there, but I don't. As I said, I know its coming from a good place. It just pushes my buttons because I have issues about food police from age 11 when I was put on my first diet ("nutrition plan") and from that day had my mother measuring my food and watching what I ate (when she could see me), so people asking me always makes me feel a bit infantilized. But they don't mean it that way, so I use self-talk to help me get past it and just accept it as its intended, as a caring gesture. Nobody is actually questioning my choices ("should you be eating that?"). The fact that I hear it that way is my problem, not theirs.

On the up side, I am getting tons of compliments about how I look. The change of seasons means less bulky clothing, and the weight loss is really noticeable. I'm still startled by it when I see myself in the mirror.

I also get compliments from my family & close friends about my dedication and determination in sticking with my plan. My mom tells me she's really proud of me for taking it so seriously. That means a lot to me. On those days when I'm feeling ground down by the monotony of constant vigilance, or when the scale is momentarily not cooperating, I remind myself that my metric for success should be how well I'm sticking to my plan (because that's what I can control), and not solely focusing on the outcome (which isn't controllable day-to-day). Getting compliments about those traits that make it possible helps me keep that in perspective.

Jimb376mfp

@MurpleCat your comments struck home with me.
"On those days when I'm feeling ground down by the monotony of constant vigilance, or when the scale is momentarily not cooperating, I remind myself that my metric for success should be how well I'm sticking to my plan (because that's what I can control), and not solely focusing on the outcome (which isn't controllable day-to-day)."

Great perspective! I see people whine on WW Connect about these type "problems" when one is trying to lose weight. I have concluded that most people have no real grasp on how difficult WL can be. If it was easy then everyone could do it. All I can do is just keep trying what works, for me it's tracking SPs, moderate exercise routine enjoying an occasional restaurant meal with friends and realizing that there are more things to living than eating!