Help! I need some cheer!
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EryOaker
Posts: 434 Member
Ever feel like life just keeps kicking you while you're down? Yup, that's where I'm at. I'm (physically) hurt.... I'm tired.... I'm in need of a serious break.... but everyone is counting on me to pick up the slack. Kids are sick and injured.... husband is physically down for the count (chronic back issue that has recently flared up) and I need to just suck it up.... because I'm Mom, and that's what is expected of me. All the while, I'm trying my best to not eat the damn candy in cabinet and the bread in the fridge.... and the crackers in the pantry.
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Don't cave girl! We all have those weeks...just think about how good you will feel after this passes and you didn't give in! KCKO! ♡♡♡1
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Ever feel like life just keeps kicking you while you're down? Yup, that's where I'm at. I'm (physically) hurt.... I'm tired.... I'm in need of a serious break.... but everyone is counting on me to pick up the slack. Kids are sick and injured.... husband is physically down for the count (chronic back issue that has recently flared up) and I need to just suck it up.... because I'm Mom, and that's what is expected of me. All the while, I'm trying my best to not eat the damn candy in cabinet and the bread in the fridge.... and the crackers in the pantry.
I love Nancy Reagan's summing up of a woman:
"A woman is like a tea bag - you never know how strong she is, until she gets into hot water."
This is the problem the likes of us have had to endure for millennia: Our hidden strength is what carries those around us, to the point that we become the fulcrum upon which our family turns. We are relied upon to be there, be strong and carry the load.
Examine scrupulously what is happening around you and stop. Think. Just exactly how much of this MUST you deal with?
How much of it is habitual 'attention-seeking'? (Children are good at this: If unwell or sick, they subconsciously expect you to take it all upon yourself. They become 'feeble' and incapable, and rely on you to do it for them. I include 'husband'* under the children title!)
Distinguish - as you know them best - what you are really responsible for, and what in actual fact, they can really do for themselves. Don't fall into the trap of failing to distinguish between nursing and pandering. The former is essential, the second is unnecessary.
Don't lose your footing and start running around like a blue-@rsed fly.... stop. Examine what you're doing; what you have been called upon to do.
Can it wait? Can it be delayed? Do you have bargaining room?
Stop also, and look at what you are doing. Is it necessary to multi-task? Can some things damn well wait?
Ridiculous as it may sound, you should rite yourself an action plan. Some things are impossible to categorise, or to include, but look at what needs doing - what is essential - and draw up a plan of action.
And tell others in the family: "At such-and-such a time, I HAVE to do *this* so I'm going to be out of range for <insert time period here>."
Ask for familial or neighbourly help. It's no shame to admit your tiny shoulders aren't totally up to carrying Boulder, Colorado....!
Shift a bit of the 'weight' around, if you can, if it's feasible.
Keep in touch, and off-load and vent all you need. We love ya, you're good with us, no matter what....
(* My mother states about a man: It doesn't matter what job he has, how much he earns, what car he drives, what kind of house he lives in, or whose i]designer[/i clothes he wears: He's 9 years old...!)
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Everyone needs a support network. In today's world where people move for jobs and we have essentially become individual nomads, we have lost the true connectedness with family and friends.
At 41, I moved for the 14th (and hopefully final) time. It has taken time, but I am finally building a network here. It was helpful last year when we had a hailstorm of biblical proportions that forced us to move out of our house for 4 months.
It was even more helpful earlier this month when I had a significant car accident.
A friend loaned me his truck until I could get a replacement. Given I am still not financially recovered from the storm last year, this was huge.
In today's world it is seen as a good thing to be independent and self reliant. In reality, we were created to be a community that is interdependent.
This forum is good for informational, emotional and inspirational support, but there is some support that has to be in person. Pride kept me from understanding that for most of my life. Now I understand how much I do need others and how important it is for me to be there for them.
BTW, I prefer to think I am a perpetual 16 year old, not a 9 year old @AlexandraCarlyle7 -
You need some recovery time that isn't food related, stress is a beast...how about a 30 min bath with epsom salt???1
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Just eat what you normally eat, eating more is not going to help anything. And fasting when you are under so much stress is not the best idea. The extra cortisol and adrenaline won't be your friend on a fast right now.
We are here, but as cstehensen said, you need to try and tap your face to face support system.
I hope you have someone close to you that can assist in this stressful time. The entire family sounds ill. Reach out to your family and friends nearby. And KCKO. Hugs.0 -
@cstehansen , in your case (re: age) I would agree. My H indignantly insists he's 9 and a half....
Nice post, by the way.
I think we all fall into the trap of seriously believing that our problems are unique, in that we just don't realise or see that other people have their own pile too.
But I agree with you. It's very important to interact and integrate with others, and share. Because that's how whole communities get to pull together, no matter how great or small the issue may seem to be. (I'll just say Manchester, UK....)
There's strength in numbers, and a problem shared... well, all these adages are well known for good reason: They happen to be right.0 -
tcunbeliever wrote: »You need some recovery time that isn't food related, stress is a beast...how about a 30 min bath with epsom salt???
Honestly, I whole heartedly agree with the bath suggestion. I've been doing this more often lately, it's my zen time. Turn on some great chill music, hop in the tub, listen to my breaths with my ears under water...I come out feeling more in tune and refreshed.0 -
Ever feel like life just keeps kicking you while you're down? Yup, that's where I'm at. I'm (physically) hurt.... I'm tired.... I'm in need of a serious break.... but everyone is counting on me to pick up the slack. Kids are sick and injured.... husband is physically down for the count (chronic back issue that has recently flared up) and I need to just suck it up.... because I'm Mom, and that's what is expected of me. All the while, I'm trying my best to not eat the damn candy in cabinet and the bread in the fridge.... and the crackers in the pantry.
((Hugs)) When it rains it pours. And it really isn't fair, but it will pass. You just need to hunker down to ride it out.
Try to remind yourself that eating well and sleep will help you cope better. Better health and energy are good counters to stress. Mild exercise and distraction will help too but those are hard to fit in when times are tough.
I'm going through a bit right now too. I keep reminding myself that I feel better while eating keto. Having the sugars would be nice while eating it but I'll feel worn out after and my moods will swing. Not what I need now.
Hang in there. I hope you are all better soon.0 -
Hope your situation does a quick 360. Take care.0
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Oops - I meant 180.2
