When people pray for help/thank God for good stuff
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emergencytennis
Posts: 864 Member
How do you handle it? Do you join in, do you sniff and sneer, perhaps confront, or do you do what I usually do; smile vaguely and change the subject?
It is easy on a forum. When you read something lalacrazy you can just ignore it. When someone looks you in the eye and thanks God for something you have to respond. Apparently, suggesting that the human agent deserves the kudos is wrong-o.
It is easy on a forum. When you read something lalacrazy you can just ignore it. When someone looks you in the eye and thanks God for something you have to respond. Apparently, suggesting that the human agent deserves the kudos is wrong-o.
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If people are saying that we have to pray before we can eat I let them all pray but I certainly don't join in. I just wait till they are all done and then I eat. If I am hungry enough and it is one of those prayers that goes on for a long time then I might sneak some food.
As a rule I just let them go about their silliness and then when it is over I just go on with my life unless I am asked about it. If I am asked about it I give an honest answer and then I deal with the fall out.
There was one situation where I was at a huge picnic and one of the parents could not find her son. One of the people there actually suggested that people start praying for his safe return. I said that would be a waste of time and that if you had the ability to walk you need to be helping to look for this kid. I didn't even entertain their delusions for a second in that situation because a kid was missing.
We all fanned out and we eventually found the kid. He had wandered off to a play ground all the way on the other side of the park where he was told not to go. I took the kid back to his mother and let her deal with him. Then the dumb *kitten* that suggested people start praying came over to tell me he was offended by my comments about prayer. I told him he would have to get over it because we were in a situation we needed actual actions to be taken. I told him to go right ahead and pray all he wants now that the kid is found.
Then he said he was praying for the kids safe return already and that is why the kid was found. At that point I got offended. I told him that all he did was distract people that could have been helping to look for the kid. Now that those of us who did the work are back safe and sound he wants to give the credit for his return to the prayers or god or what have you.
The truth is we could have found the kid without the prayer but the prayer would not have helped us find the kid without the looking.
If they are just praying in their personal life and they get some sort of psychological benefit that is fine but I get extremely angry when people try to use prayer as a substitute for real action. Read my thread entitled "Why I Hate Faith" in this group and you will see what I mean.0 -
You touch on something topical in the tennis household.
One kid goes to a very religious school. His pastor just told him a story about the pastor's ancestor, who was tortured and left for dead, then saved by one of his torturers. The ancestor thanked god for his rescue and devoted his life to the church,
I started off with "But, it was..." and the kid finishes off with "I know, it was the dude who saved him, at risk of his own life!"0 -
I want to know how it is that God is supposed to be getting credit for the good stuff that happens in their life and none of the bad stuff. That doesn't make any sense at all. Especially when you take in to account situations where people don't even have anything to do with the bad thing that is happening. Like a hurricane or an earthquake for example.0
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I usually try to ignore it. But I belong to a meditation site that has groups. I belong to the Secular Buddhism group, but there are others. Recently, a woman posted about a couple that was having serious psychiatric problems and she asked for our kind thoughts, prayers, etc. That drives me up the wall. I don't mind telling the woman who announced she has breast cancer that I wish her well, but sending thoughts to people who aren't even on the board makes no sense. They require medical help, money, and support. If I could afford it, I'd ask who they were and send a check. I said I hoped they got the psychiatric help they needed and that didn't go over well. I felt like posting that studies have shown that praying has no demonstrable positive effect.0
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I want to know how it is that God is supposed to be getting credit for the good stuff that happens in their life and none of the bad stuff. That doesn't make any sense at all. Especially when you take in to account situations where people don't even have anything to do with the bad thing that is happening. Like a hurricane or an earthquake for example.
I hate people who act as if everything good that happens to them is part of some divine plan.0 -
I do too. There is a real sense of arrogance in that. To think that this all powerful being is making sure you find your car keys but not helping the starving to find food. Its ludicrous.0
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If im with my grandma or at work I just keep quiet and smile but anywhere outside of that I would be silent during their prayers but not join in. Though at a dinner with my boyfriends dad and gf they use to pray before the meal on special occasions so not to offend I did hold hands but kept my eyes open and did not say amen.0
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If someone says it directly to me, I just kind of half nod. Unless they get really elaborate about how God intervened, I am not going to disagree with them.
As far as meal time prayers and such, I just watch everyone else praying.0 -
I think a question that is more to point would be when is it appropriate for us to point out to the delusional that they are deluded. I think they are always wrong when they claim to be in constant communication with an omnipotent being but if I point it out all the time I become nothing more than a white noise that they grow accustomed to ignoring. If nobody ever points it out we end up with crap like the dark ages.
Clearly there does come a point where their bull**** needs to be called bull****. You can believe that prayer will heal your children all you like so long as you actually ignore that claim and actually take your kids to the doctor when they are sick. Then you can claim the prayer healed them but the kids actually do get healed because of the doctor's efforts. That sort of believer is annoying but tolerable.
Where do we draw this line? Obviously we have to pick our battles but which battles are worthy of our attention? We know that some of these people are so completely and totally absorbed in their belief that children will die because of it. I think we should become far more vocal long before it ever gets to that point.0 -
Having grown up in the Bible Belt, and currently living in North Scare-olina, it happens with such frequency, I barely even notice any more. In fact, to my ear, it's almost like an annoying tic people have; I tune it out. When clueless people say something directly to me about how their imaginary friend did this or that for them, I generally respond with a very disinterested, "Hmm," and then change the subject. All but the most socially-inept of them figure out after a while that their seed isn't going to find fertile ground with me.
However, if they start to go off on religious politics (their skewed dominionist interpretation of the Constitution, for example), I have a harder time leaving that alone. They can believe whatever cockamamie crap they want, but when it manifests itself as public policy, I have *lots* to say on the subject, and if possible, I'm going to educate them on it. At the very least, I'm not going to allow them to spew ignorance without counteracting it.0 -
I'll never understand when people thank god for little things in their life, like god was so focused on you making sure you got to work on time, or that you found something that was missing. Meanwhile across the world people are starving, because god is so just and apparently pretty bad at his job.
Anyways, my family at thanksgiving says grace, I do not, but that's not really a good example of what we are talking about. I had a friend who passed away almost two years ago, we were pretty close for a very long time, we grew apart at the end because of his lifestyle choices and coming home from rehab he relapsed and his body couldn't take it. When I saw him at the hospital the only thing keeping him alive was a breathing machine, and the mom of course wanted me to pray for him right there on the spot. I pretended to pray, I felt no need to cause anything uncomfortable with the mom. If it were anything else I probably wouldn't have prayed and would have told them I'm not going to pray, but for this I felt no need for confrontation, even though I found it odd that she just assumed I shared her some beliefs, but going through what she was going through I can't say she was in the right state of mind anyways.
People put to much in praying, with the belief that it's actually gonna do something. Even if god was real, what makes you so important for him/her to even give a crap. I see a lot of it to be ego based, and the sad truth is when it comes to the existence of life, your not special and you never will be. Unfortunately they think praying works when something good suddenly happens, or it's gods work.0 -
My general rule of thumb is this:
A school, work,otherwise public experience holding the expectation of ME praying- no. Absolutely not. When I was going through CNA training and Surgical Tech training I encountered this A LOT, and I do not feel obligated to participate in religious activities with people who I happen to be near because of work or school. Funny thing is, the entire time I was getting trained in the nursing home, NOT A SINGLE RESIDENT prayed/asked for a prayer, but a ton of those CNAs and Nurses were quick to offer one up.
I just can't wait until I'm old and I have a bunch of well-intentioned dumbasses praying for me and talking to me like a child.
With my family and friends... it CAN be different. at meals with graces I usually respectfully sit quietly; I defend the idea of being thankful for the good things in life, but not attributing them to (a) god(s). I've also taken part in religious weddings... my cousin's Catholic wedding and my brother's Hindu wedding (his wife's family is moderately religious) and it felt like going through a ceremony rather than me actively feeling pressured to beleive in God;the weddings were about them, not me.0 -
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Just let them do their thing and wait it out.
I was hosting with family in Canada. We were sitting down for lunch and then right before I thought we should eat they said grace.
I just waited until they were done, and it seems they didn't expect others to join them anyway.
But if someone would try to make me do anything else but not interrupt, like pray or take actual part in the ceremony, then yes. I'd definitely protest and refuse.0 -
Sometimes, I find myself cornered. In a tight spot. I might be facing possible eviction, for example, and must plead my case to a judge or, negotiate a deal with the landlord. Without some imaginary deity to pray to, I know that I must be proactive. With no mythical "higher power" to call upon, how do I strategize my best angle of approach?
I cannot "channel" him, or anything ridiculous like that, of course-- but I've read several of his books and so, when formulating my plan of action, often I ask myself, "WHAT WOULD DONALD TRUMP DO?"
I keep in mind things I've learned from his books such as, "a deal must be a win-win situation." You won't find practical advice like that amongst the "scriptures!"0 -
In public situations (sporting events, etc) I just ignore the silliness, keep my seat and wait it out. In private situations, basically the same thing but try to be slightly more "respectful". In very personal situations l might go so far as to hold hands when asked, bow my head, etc. Some situations are just not the time to point out the bull****.
But for the every day bull**** "I found my keys, thank god!" or "God helped me lose that last 10 pounds", I just roll my eyes and carry on. UNLESS someone says this on MY behalf. Then I am very pro-active in telling them that no, their imaginary friend didn't help me find my keys or keep me from binging on brownies.0 -
A lot of very considered responses here. It seems most of us prefer tolerance to confrontation.0
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When people say God bless or sending prayers to me or whatever, I usually just let it go and take it as that person's good will toward me. But when they start making their religion about me, saying things like "I know God has a plan for you!" or "God will help you along this path!" I do feel the need to mention gently that I am "not religious" or something to that effect.0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZeWPScnolo
