Having some negative feels lately.
Options
Violet_Flux
Posts: 481 Member
I've been debating whether or not to post this for over a week now. It's not sharing of important information, it's not a request for help, I'm not looking for solutions. It's more of a rant or a whine I guess.
And it'll probably get long and there'll probably be some bits that are TMI. Disclaimers aside, here it is.
I've been on this weight-loss journey for over 18 months now. I started in the last half of November 2015. I started slowly & simply, taking things one step at a time. Last July I added some activity / cardio, and then last August I switched to low-carb / keto, and things really got going.
For the most part, I've been very happy with how things have progressed. There have been some frustrating plateaus this year with the scale, but plenty of non-scale victories and achievements to keep me from getting discouraged.
Recently though, like the last month or so, I find I've been getting really negative about how my body is changing.
Most of my excess fat was (and still is) around the midsection, and ok it's great that my belly is deflating like last week's party balloon, but there's so much loose excess skin hanging around that it's starting to get me down.
To try and illustrate how much I'm talking about... my highest recorded weight was 457 pounds, in 2011. I estimate I was around 425 when I started this current journey, back in Nov/15. My waist measurement was over 70" at that time. Maybe 72" or more (my tape measure only goes up to 60".) Now I'm 243 lbs and at the start of this month my waist was 49". So from my highest known numbers, I'm down over 200lbs and about 2 feet off my waist. That's a lot of excess baggage.
It's not so bad when I'm standing, gravity helps, and I usually wear loose tops or dresses over tight leggings, so it's fairly well concealed. When I sit down though, it all bunches up and sticks out, and I've become very self conscious about it.
Same problem with my thighs... that's probably the #2 spot where I kept my strategic energy reserve. There's enough loose skin there that if I gather it all up in a bunch, it's about the size of a large apple or orange, of loose empty skin at the top / inside of each thigh. It's enough that it is getting to be a problem. Like, sometimes it pinches when I sit down; it hurts, and I get blood blisters from the pinching.
Finally, as mentioned in another thread a while back, my boobs are also deflating. There's the fact that I'm 47 and age in general doesn't help, but losing all the weight has made it worse. Plus they're shrinking unevenly and it's enough to be blatantly obvious if I wear a tight top.
This used to bug me the most but now the belly and thighs are moving up on the list of things about my body that get me down.
Anyways, so two weeks ago I went in and saw a plastic surgeon for a consultation. Had a cursory examination and discussed a tummy tuck, thigh lift, and boob lift. I found out about the various procedures, recovery, cost, et cetera.
And he mentioned that they won't do anything until I'm under 200 lbs. I don't know if that's his cut-off point for all his patients, or if that's just for me because it's roughly the point on the BMI chart where I go from obese to overweight.
And while they'd sometimes group procedures into one operation, he doesn't want to do that for me because there's simply so much excess skin in the belly and the thighs that those are each going to be significant enough to need to be done separately. Also, they said they like a minimum of 6 months recovery time between each procedure.
I know it's going to be a challenge to lose or even just maintain in between the surgeries. My weight-loss goal is 175 lbs so I could have one of the operations before hitting my goal, as soon as I'm under 200. But I know weight will be a challenge after that, I'll have to be super vigilant about my intake, and of course won't be able to do my workouts during recovery.
So, I've got another 45 - 50 pounds to lose, to get safely under the 200 mark, then I can have one procedure, then wait ~6 months (and try losing another 25 lbs) then do a second operation, then another ~6 month wait, trying to maintain or keep losing, before the last one.
At one point not long ago, I swore I'd never have another operation. Now I'm planning -- and even looking forward to -- three more.
However, seeing the goalposts get pushed back further and further is not helping my mood at all. Knowing I'm going to have to deal with all the excess skin and bagginess for another year or more... is a bit disheartening.
Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not thinking of quitting or giving up.
It's just, I guess for a while I was feeling super good about my progress. Now I'm feeling kind of crummy about how much further there is yet to go.
And it'll probably get long and there'll probably be some bits that are TMI. Disclaimers aside, here it is.
I've been on this weight-loss journey for over 18 months now. I started in the last half of November 2015. I started slowly & simply, taking things one step at a time. Last July I added some activity / cardio, and then last August I switched to low-carb / keto, and things really got going.
For the most part, I've been very happy with how things have progressed. There have been some frustrating plateaus this year with the scale, but plenty of non-scale victories and achievements to keep me from getting discouraged.
Recently though, like the last month or so, I find I've been getting really negative about how my body is changing.
Most of my excess fat was (and still is) around the midsection, and ok it's great that my belly is deflating like last week's party balloon, but there's so much loose excess skin hanging around that it's starting to get me down.
To try and illustrate how much I'm talking about... my highest recorded weight was 457 pounds, in 2011. I estimate I was around 425 when I started this current journey, back in Nov/15. My waist measurement was over 70" at that time. Maybe 72" or more (my tape measure only goes up to 60".) Now I'm 243 lbs and at the start of this month my waist was 49". So from my highest known numbers, I'm down over 200lbs and about 2 feet off my waist. That's a lot of excess baggage.
It's not so bad when I'm standing, gravity helps, and I usually wear loose tops or dresses over tight leggings, so it's fairly well concealed. When I sit down though, it all bunches up and sticks out, and I've become very self conscious about it.
Same problem with my thighs... that's probably the #2 spot where I kept my strategic energy reserve. There's enough loose skin there that if I gather it all up in a bunch, it's about the size of a large apple or orange, of loose empty skin at the top / inside of each thigh. It's enough that it is getting to be a problem. Like, sometimes it pinches when I sit down; it hurts, and I get blood blisters from the pinching.
Finally, as mentioned in another thread a while back, my boobs are also deflating. There's the fact that I'm 47 and age in general doesn't help, but losing all the weight has made it worse. Plus they're shrinking unevenly and it's enough to be blatantly obvious if I wear a tight top.
This used to bug me the most but now the belly and thighs are moving up on the list of things about my body that get me down.
Anyways, so two weeks ago I went in and saw a plastic surgeon for a consultation. Had a cursory examination and discussed a tummy tuck, thigh lift, and boob lift. I found out about the various procedures, recovery, cost, et cetera.
And he mentioned that they won't do anything until I'm under 200 lbs. I don't know if that's his cut-off point for all his patients, or if that's just for me because it's roughly the point on the BMI chart where I go from obese to overweight.
And while they'd sometimes group procedures into one operation, he doesn't want to do that for me because there's simply so much excess skin in the belly and the thighs that those are each going to be significant enough to need to be done separately. Also, they said they like a minimum of 6 months recovery time between each procedure.
I know it's going to be a challenge to lose or even just maintain in between the surgeries. My weight-loss goal is 175 lbs so I could have one of the operations before hitting my goal, as soon as I'm under 200. But I know weight will be a challenge after that, I'll have to be super vigilant about my intake, and of course won't be able to do my workouts during recovery.
So, I've got another 45 - 50 pounds to lose, to get safely under the 200 mark, then I can have one procedure, then wait ~6 months (and try losing another 25 lbs) then do a second operation, then another ~6 month wait, trying to maintain or keep losing, before the last one.
At one point not long ago, I swore I'd never have another operation. Now I'm planning -- and even looking forward to -- three more.
However, seeing the goalposts get pushed back further and further is not helping my mood at all. Knowing I'm going to have to deal with all the excess skin and bagginess for another year or more... is a bit disheartening.
Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not thinking of quitting or giving up.
It's just, I guess for a while I was feeling super good about my progress. Now I'm feeling kind of crummy about how much further there is yet to go.
3
Replies
-
@Steph_Maks I don't know if this helps at all - but 7 years ago I lost a great deal of weight (on what I now know was a lowcarbISH diet), and got down to 190lbs. I too, had lots of loose skin, and I was getting rashes where to skin folds were - it made it uncomfortable to exercise and was really embarrassing. Anyway, the doc DID do the surgery, but it left me with what I refer to as "the shelf". So he removed the lower part of my abdomen skin, and seemed to tuck everything upwards - so now I have this odd shaped stomach no matter what I do. I regained some of my weight but not all (and now on Keto it's going again), but the "shelf" is STILL there, and now I gain a ton of weight in that midsection and it just looks like I'm a mutant (to me anyway).
Anyway, I tell you this b/c the doc may not be putting you off due to anything but wanting to see the best results, and honestly, I wish I had have lost more weight before getting mine done - and perhaps it would have turned out better. I wish my doc would have informed me of what was going to happen. Now, I am hoping to get down to a really good weight, and probably have to get corrective surgery after that.
I know, believe me I KNOW how frustrating it is, but it's sometimes better to bear through the wait time and get a long lasting great result, then be left looking strange. Trust me on this one!
And sometimes it's just good to rant about it all. Please don't think I'm negating your rant, I know it's what we sometimes just need to do!
8 -
I wish I had specific words to help, but I can say this...with that much weight worth of lose skin, you might go in at 200 pounds and come out at goal weight. There was a gentleman who did a similar Skin Removal Set of Surgeries (was in the 400's, before surgery around 200, he was on The Doctors on TV, and they did it all at once. Removed OVER 40 POUNDS OF SKIN...
You have fought this hard. Gotten this far... You deserve to feel better.
But I feel your pain, somewhat. I feel fatter now, because everything is floppy and saggy than I did when I was big and round and ... plush? I know it's in my head, because if I go back and look at those pictures, I'm very obviously fatter then, but it just feels ... worse now, somehow...
So ALL THE HUGS...
@Karlottap - Any words of wisdom?4 -
Have a look at this article for some ways to help remedy/mitigate the loose skin issue without surgery -- https://www.muscleforlife.com/how-to-get-rid-of-loose-skin-after-weight-loss/
Given the amount you lost, you may still need surgery, but these others options may help in the interim and should help improve the health of your skin. Especially focus on collagen and gelatin supplementation, those are the keys to elastic skin (along with hydration).2 -
Thanks for sharing your experiences @Liadin123. Seeing the surgeon this month was definitely a preliminary consult, but when the time comes to do the actual pre-op work I will be asking all the questions and hopefully getting all the info. Due to them wanting to spread it out into three separate operations, I'll have to decide what order to do them in, so each thing will be thoroughly investigated and understood ahead of time. They did say that the more weight I lose before the tummy tuck, the better the ultimate results will be.
@KnitOrMiss I think that sums up how I'm feeling lately - I feel 'fatter' right now, than I did a month or two ago. Like you, I know it's in my head. I can see by how my clothes fit, how much space there is now between the steering wheel and my belly, and of course the number on the scale is smaller than it used to be. But those are all logical quantifiable things. Unfortunately all the logic in the world can't stand up to emotion.
Thank you both for your responses.2 -
I feel for you! Hugs. These in between parts, where the excitement of finally knowing how to lose weight sort of fades and you are left with the physical reality, they stink. Just this morning I was looking up threads about loose skin because though I've only dropped 20 pounds so far this time, at 47 with a lifetime of weight going up and down, I definitely feel like my body looks "sloppy", like I'm wearing a skin suit a few sizes too big. It definitely dampens the happiness of being on the right track.
I'll just share what I took away from my research this morning, what was significant to me, anyone else can take it or leave it. One thing was it can take up to two years of maintenance to see how much your skin will recover, which seems like an ETERNITY, but was interesting. The other thing I am exploring is the role of autophagy from extended fasting in reducing excess skin. I can't imagine what the parameters are for that method, would it take care of ALL of it? How about my neck wattle?? I'll be experimenting with that for sure.
In any case, more hugs! Glad you came here to share your frustrations as I know you aren't alone. I hope getting it out helps, I know for sure you sharing your experience will help others.6 -
Sorry @Dragonwolf I missed your reply earlier! I think we were typing at the same time. I had a quick read through that link and will read it more closely after work. I do get some collagen or gelatin I think; I make bone broth every week and it definitely gels up if I put it in the fridge. I don't know how much I get from that, but I have it every week.
@LizinLowell I'm intrigued at the idea of autophagy from fasting helping with excess skin. There is a bit on my arms and neck that I think realistically could tighten up on its own, or with a bit of help.
My belly is a 'lost cause' though. It gave up and slumped down years ago. There's at least 6" of fold hanging over down there, and what feels like acres of extra skin loosely extending from side to side. It's pretty hideous. My thighs are maybe not as nasty, but I think they're beyond repair as well.
Thanks again for the comments and support!0 -
When I had my children I gained 50 lbs and it was all belly. I would say for me it took about 2 years after losing the weight to see the belly skin actually tighten up. I had a lovely apron of skin that would just lap over pants and underwear and be totally not attractive. You have lost a lot more weight than what I lost and certainly your skin is still in the process of shrinkage, even if it's slower than the weight loss and you are not able to see it as easily. I'm sure it's frustrating to deal with, but you may get better results from surgery after your weight is stable for a year or two. Just food for thought. Patience is not one of my virtues, but sometimes it does pay off.1
-
steph_maks I hope you do focus on how much healthier you are now. And really, this is a good problem to have. Your weight loss is inspiring.
If it were me, I would wait till I got to goal weight. When they remove skin, you lose a few more pounds. My sister had breast reduction done and she lost 8 lbs. just with that procedure.1 -
Bone broth is a pretty good source. How much you get from it depends largely on the bones you use. You can add more with things like chicken feet (they are awesome for all sorts of soft-tissue-loving compounds), skin, and joints in general. Just about any of the supportive, non-muscular soft tissue will add to it. 1
-
You are not alone, for sure. My stomach hangs down like a sack of sand. I get constant fungal infections under my "sandbags". My highest recorded weight was 253lbs, or s BMI of 52 at my small height. I did lose about 80-something pounds in 2015 but put a bunch back on.
I have horrible skin that drives me mad.1 -
Realizing there are very few who became overweight, lost their excess, then magically became able to effortlessly maintain-whether the surgeries are done at 6 months or 18 months, they're another step along the path of lifelong maintenance for health. Attention to foods and habits is lifelong for most of us and will continue long after the surgery. Kind of never ending.1
-
I have nothing helpful to offer, but wanted to say DAMN, you are an inspiration. Truly.1
-
pitbullmamaliz wrote: »I have nothing helpful to offer, but wanted to say DAMN, you are an inspiration. Truly.
Ditto. Wow. Congratulations on what you've done! That's just amazing.
And (hugs). I lost less than you but still have some skin puddling. Hang in there.2 -
What you have achieved is amazing. I know that things can feel long, tough, and impossible, but look at how far you have come. Pardon my "french", but you kicked *kitten*. Try not looking at that last stretch of how far you have to go and look at how far you've made it. I don't know if I have a way to relate something for you, ny best example is like how I used to love outdoor activities a lot. A long hike can feel miserable when you start nearing the end. It feels miles away and it can start feeling like you will never get where you are going. But then thinking about how far you've come, and how good it will be to get there, it lifts that worry and makes the troublesome parts worth it because each hard earned step gets you closer. You are so close hun, and you have achieved so much. View the loose skin more like a badge of honor for a hard fought battle. I know, its easier said than done. But those procedures will be here sooner than it feels. A watched pot doesn't boil so focus on your smaller goals ans milestones, keep on doing the great job you've done. You are inspiring.2
-
Thanks everyone for the kind words and support! I'm sure these feelings will pass, and in the meantime I am staying the course.
Plus, I have some goals set for July that might help snap me out of this funk. Actually I have stuff coming up in August and September as well, which ought to be fun / rewarding.
For now, I will try and 'keep calm, and keto on' as we say.
9 -
Hi OP! First of all congratulations on your life change! That amount of weight loss is amazing!!
So, I lost right at 150 pounds and always had plans for plastic surgery once I got there. Last August I had a tummy tuck and breast lift. I am very happy with the aesthetics of it. I can finally look at myself in the mirror and like what see!
I did develop a seroma (pocket of fluid under the skin that isn't uncommon) at the tummy tuck site that required the drains had to be put back in for a while. This extended the recovery time, but it did heal without any further trouble.
Hindsight, for me, is coming clear about a painful area around my belly button that persists. I have fibromyalgia, and myofascial pain syndrome, and have always had some tender trigger points around my hip bones. I could rub them and produce a pain response. The tummy tuck relocated them to around my belly button! I can touch these spots lightly and produce that same pain! This is something I never considered pre op, but at least I've figured that pain out and can have some peace of mind about it.
Yes, I had some life threatening health issues (perforated ulcer in my small intestine!) that followed this in October (misdiagnosed then with "Colitis") and December (they finally figured it out and operated!) but they weren't a direct result of the plastic surgery.
You've succeeded for the past 18 months! I'm sure your success will continue through the surgery requirements too! Take lots of pictures!5 -
I admire you for losing all that weight and sticking with it through the ups and down. I admire you for going to a doctor, doing your homework ..and getting a game plan. You're a strong woman. I've always found in life my life, that anything truly worth while never comes easy. There is always work, waiting, and 'easy" has nothing to do with it.
I also think you are blessed that you have the insurance or financial means to afford skin removal surgery, many people do not.
You are blessed.
3
