Partner: high(er) fat PLUS carbs

lolliopopsnrainbows

Hi all,

I've been following the LCHF way of eating for about 6 weeks now and am really enjoying it (my "low" carb is less than 100g/day though I'm usually under 50g/day). I'm eating quite a lot of salads at the moment as it's summertime.

My partner isn't really into salads so I am currently cooking the same protein/fat part of the meal for both of us, and serving his with fries, pasta, rice or potatoes and mine with salad. I'm a bit concerned that this is resulting in him eating higher fat foods (previously, I was all about the low fat/fat free dairy, lean meat and no cooking oil) in combination with the same sort of carb intake which means an overall increase in calories..... He is steadily getting squishier (which he's perfectly open about, but can't be bothered to do anything about it as he's physically fit and well)

Come autumn/winter, I am intending for us to eat the same hearty hot dinners and substitute the traditional carbs out for veggies (spiralised veggies for pasta, grated veggies for rice etc). I would substitute all of the carbs out for me, and probably around half-and-half for him (his preference). Therefore his dinners would still be reasonably carb-heavy (just not *as* heavy!)

Should I be concerned about his increased fat intake? Left to his own devices he'll just eat pre-prepared "oven food" (frozen breaded chicken, pies, ready meals etc). I don't want my getting healthier to be at his expense or vice versa! What do you guys do?

tcunbeliever

I can't imagine getting squishier is good for his health, so how about cutting the carbs down for him too? Maybe down to 1/4 rather than 1/2, or just doing the 1/2 carb every other day instead of every day.

Sunny_Bunny_

The gaining of bodyfat tells you that his body isn't burning the fat and extra calories he's eating. We know this results in higher triglycerides which is still a blood marker to watch as it relates to HDL ratio.
The gaining of fat is a symptom of poor fat metabolism.
In the beginning I fed my family the same way. They still are their carb sides and my keto foods but they ate the same amount and type of meat we always did.
As I progressed in my understanding and with my goal of fat loss, I actually stopped adding extra cooking fat and cream and cheese sauces. So every meat I cook I now is just seasoned meat without added fat. I'm not adding it to their veg anymore either. My husband did notice some weight gain in the beginning as I was of course losing weight and it was obvious to him that the difference was the carbs. Over the last 2+ years he has definitely cut carbs but he will never give up his daily orange juice and breakfast bar. The best he's going to do there is he chooses Kind bars now instead of cereal or oatmeal bars. He still indulges less and less frequently on things like pancakes and he will always want to have ice cream a couple times a month. Though I at least got him to always choose no sugar added ones.
All of these baby steps because I did tell him that it's the combo of fat AND carbs that is the problem. He still believes fat in itself is what's bad mostly, but I have made some progress and he does seem to realize the combo is at least worse.
Anyway, I think the concern is well founded. If he can understand that you can't have it both ways maybe he will choose to give up carbs more often at least. Like mine did. But he also needs to understand that using vegetable oils and low fat products is also not the answer. That was also a battle with my hubs. He kept buying margarine and looking at butter like I was trying to kill him! For a while he actually refused to eat butter. Lol
Until he saw me dropping weight like crazy!

kpk54

You didn't mention why you are eating LCHF. Is it to lose weight? Is it for a medical issue other than excess weight? Is it because you know it to be healthier?

My husband was 5'10" and 160 pounds when I met him 29 years ago and remains the same today. He has never had an excess weight problem and (knock on wood) at the age of 65, all "health markers" remain favorable despite his drinking regular Cocoa Cola, eating potatoes or rice or pasta at dinner, etc. I don't find his way of eating favorable but that is how he eats.

Throughout my 4 years of low carbing with macro allocations varying at times to include very high fat, I've never changed what I cook or how I prepare it. I have changed what I put on my plate at meal time. What has also changed is my elimination of cakes, cookies, pies, candy bars, Doritoes, Cheetoes, ice cream, etc. Overeating that stuff is how I got an extra 63 pounds of fatness. Habit. Making a home made cake then sitting down with a bowl and spoon to eat all that was left in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.

Point: as is mentioned above, if your husband did well on less fat, cut back. I've never been on the low fat product band wagon even at its peak of popularity. We've always had real, full fat products in the household. I'm guessing that full fat anything has more flavor than most low fat stuff. Use less of it. Your way of eating does not have to be your husband's way.

lolliopopsnrainbows

Thanks so much ladies, I really appreciate it.

@kpk54 - I have some issues with anxiety and depression and had read a lot of good things about the effect of reducing "white" carbs and increasing fats and protein (specifically amino acids) on mental health so I decided to give LCHF a go for a month. I've felt so much more balanced following this way of eating. My BMI is just into the overweight range, and I have a small frame so could do with losing several kilos but it's not my main goal - it would just be nice if it happened! I lost 2kg over the first four weeks when I wasn't restricting calories (just finding my feet with the way of eating) and ate around 1900 calories a day. Sadly, unlike you, I bought into the low fat, high carb way of "healthy eating" for far too long!

@Sunny_Bunny_ - I've come to the same conclusion as you and have stopped adding fat to food unnecessarily (such as butter on veggies and piling cheese on everything), as fun as it was at the time!! He's the same as your hubby in the sense that he's very distrustful of butter and always picks the fat-free dairy still

@tcunbeliever - I think that's a great suggestion, and I think I'll start switching over to eating the same food as him sooner rather than later. That way there's no feeling that I'm also putting him on a diet (which is something he doesn't want and I don't want to make him feel that's what I'm doing but he's happy to eat the same food as me if I make it for the both of us and it just so happens to fit in with my dietary requirements)

nvmomketo

My husband likes higher carb foods like potatoes and bread. When I first started keto I made fattier meals which he added his carbs to. High fat and high carbs is not a great combination. Like others, I've cut back on the fat in my meals and just add more on my plate if I want more. Otherwise hubby tends to overeat - probably because fat has more carbs per the same volume, and because fat is tasty.

__Roxy__

I've been concerned about this same thing with my partner. He's eating all the rich keto foods, plus carbs. When I start to worry about it, I try to remind myself that food choices are intensely personal. I can't judge anyone for their food choices because I've struggled with my own for most of my life... he will either come to a decision on his own about it or he won't. I'm here if he has questions about keto, but I won't push. I have been in relationships before where we policed each other's diet and it was awful! This time I choose to accept my partner wholly, carby diet and all. ♡

LCHF123

@River_Goddess - please don't misunderstand me: I absolutely don't want (and won't!) police his diet. What he eats for lunches, snacks etc is entirely up to him. But on the otherhand I cook all our dinners so was wondering what other people's thoughts were on this. I agree with your approach 110% and I don't judge his food intake at all (although man did his loaf of bread taunt me for the first week of low-carbing!!).

@nvmomketo - yes I think that is the right approach, and what I'm planning on doing. Thanks for adding your vote to that option!

On a side note, neither of us were particularly hungry last night so I suggested making a salad with smoked haddock for both of us. He agreed, happily munched it and said it was pretty tasty. I was very bemused