Would you date me?

2

Replies

  • raige123
    raige123 Posts: 352
    you have a lovely smile...but the photo is really light/whited out...do you have something with better lighting?

    also, get off POF. that place is filled with creepers.

    I changed the profile picture ... hopefully to something better.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
    I do like it I also like pictures 2 and 5 on your page. Make sure you have picture 3 on youre profile, it shows your comitment to fitness. That will attract a certain type of guy.

    Also, if you want post your profile we would love read it if you want!

    You'll have to copy the link to your address bar but it should work ... and yes I know it's long but I'm trying to weed out those only looking for sex, lol.
    http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=57195819

    that is very long...you need a tl;dr
  • raige123
    raige123 Posts: 352
    also, on your profile, you say you have a boyfriend. if that's the case, you might want to rethink things.....

    Where on my MFP profile does it say that? I have been single again for almost 2 months. Just went to re-read it and I don't see it?

    "Why I want to get in shape

    Initially this said for my son and to find love. I have to ammend this now that I have a boyfriend. :) "

    in the future when you want to find a word or phrase hit ctrl+f that will pop up a search window...type in what word(s) you want and it will highlight them.

    OMG Thank you for pointing that out, lol. That relationship ended almost 2 months ago. This girl is single.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
    thread title makes me think of...

    penis-tuck-silence-of-the-lambs.jpg?w=300&h=200
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    I think you need to change your profile. It's too long. And it's too negative.

    Opening line:

    "I'm giving this site another shot after quite a few bad experiences! You never know where your someone special is hiding! :) I'll be up front and let you know I'm just out of a longterm relationship so I'm not 100% sure on what I'm looking for!"

    Personally, I'd stop reading after that. Sorry,I'm not the least bit interested in a guy that is just out of a relationship and not sure what he wants....... so I'm thinking a genuine guy looking for a relationship would think the same thing? Also, it's really not motivating to know that you've been played. It's not attractive and it's not comforting to a would be date.

    Leave all the negativity and bad experiences out. Be positive. This is a new start. So let the reader feel that you're ready to start again?
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    My profile pic on here is the one I use on POF and I don't have much luck with messages, or get messaged by men only looking for sex or men who aren't single only looking for sex. I am wondering based on my profile pic alone, would you want to message me if you were on there looking? Not trolling for compliments ... just trying to figure out if my pic has something to do with the lack of, and quality of messages I am receiving. Thanks everyone for your feedback!

    I actually like #8 as a main pic. I also like 1, 2, 14. No on the bikini pic because you are with some dude. You look cute and happy, I'm sure you'll do great!

    I also agree with Anna. I personally have a policy to avoid profiles that open on a negative note or have lots of negative overtones. See if you can write a new one using positive descriptors. Then, sit back and read it as if you are reading someone else's profile and see if it would attract you.

    You really only have that first paragraph to grab someone's attention before they skip over or just skim for keywords like "no gag reflex". Try something non-conventional. Think like a novelist and suck them in right off the bat. Don't make it sound like a dating profile.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    This profile seems like 90% of the women profiles out there (not even mentioning your POF nickname, are you looking for your "KnightInShinyArmour73"?). It's crap to be frank.

    And it's too defensive:
    "If you have a girlfriend/wife and are in a relationship ... DO NOT message me! Stop pretending you're single! Are there actually single men in here?"

    "I will admit as well I am a very picky person when it comes to men! I like what I like and I refuse to settle. Nobody ever should! That doesn't mean you have to be a model ... it means your personality will always dictate how I see you!"

    "If you don't like tattoos, we won't get along!"

    "I'm 420 friendly ... that doesn't mean I do it all the time but I do on occasion so if this bothers you, we won't work out."

    "I love cuddling [...] No that doesn't mean you get free massages all the time ... that's a give and take. And also if you need to be the big spoon all the time, we won't work, lol."

    "Sex ... I have a very healthy appetite for it but I don't sleep with guys I'm not with. You will end up waiting for it so if you're going to ask me out in hopes you will get in my pants ..."

    It's like the carrot and stick strategy at every paragraph - "I do this, but you won't have it" - sounds fun! It only works well for donkeys though, so no wonder why the men you are attracting are just that: donkeys.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I think you need to change your profile. It's too long. And it's too negative.

    I agree with Anna & others on this. Not only did I find your profile to be very negative but also really demanding, and if that's the image before even talking to or meeting you, then most guys are likely going to assume you will be controlling once in a relationship. That doesn't mean any of what I said is who you truly are, but you asked for first impressions and that was mine.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
    I would get rid of the 420 and sex stuff. Make a profile that you'd be okay with your boss or grandma seeing. There is no reason to mention drug use or sex straightaway. Leave some mystery.

    It's the "in spite of" defense. Plenty of guys may discount you immediately for the 420 thing but if you wait to tell them they may like you "in spite of" that.
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    It's the "in spite of" defense. Plenty of guys may discount you immediately for the 420 thing but if you wait to tell them they may like you "in spite of" that.

    I like that concept and rely HEAVILY on it (not for 420, just for being me).
    :)
  • LGrill27
    LGrill27 Posts: 337 Member
    To send a message to treatmelikealady76 you MUST meet the following criteria:
    Age between 27 and 43.
    You must have a picture to contact this user.
    Must not be looking for Other Relationship
    Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
    Must not be married

    Fizzle-Sticks!!!!! Cut off by two years! smiley-sad010.gif
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    What is 420? :huh:
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    What is 420? :huh:

    pot smoker.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    What is 420? :huh:

    pot smoker.

    Ohhhh! Why dont you just say pot smoker?? lol

    And I agree, its not the kind of thing you need to reveal at this stage. Well, unless you want to bag a pot smoker, rather than a b/f? I'll give you my ex's number. He's stoned most of the time.......lol
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    What is 420? :huh:

    pot smoker.

    Ohhhh! Why dont you just say pot smoker?? lol

    And I agree, its not the kind of thing you need to reveal at this stage. Well, unless you want to bag a pot smoker, rather than a b/f? I'll give you my ex's number. He's stoned most of the time.......lol

    420 is the normal nomenclature for dating websites in the US for someone that smokes pot or is friendly too it. Usually it will say "420 friendly".
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
    I'm at work and can't access your profile. To your original question, would I contact you based on your photo: I would pique my interest enough to read your profile. Based on the excerpts of your profile that were presented by Anna and Florian, I would move on to other options.
  • Tube_socks
    Tube_socks Posts: 808 Member
    Sorry but I read nothing but negativity and I didn't even finish it. Im not currently using my profile but here it is:
    http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=48431485

    It's all about being positive! I get many dates, many messages, etc. Sure, I'm not interested in them all but I get the attention of at least 1 or 2 fellas I like.
    What I have heard from the guys I've dated is how 90% of profiles are like yours. They sound negative and bitter almost. We all hve been played, we've all been dumped, we dont, however need to advertise that. Guys want a happy woman. Someone who stands out because of her attitude.
    I get messages specifically just telling me how they enjoyed reading my profile. I even have a cousin whom I helped with her profile, and it worked!!

    As far as players and losers are concerned, trust that you, as a woman has the ability to weed them out. I ignore a lot of messages. Either because there was no thought, no effort in it. I feel it's my job to decide whom I want to talk to or not talk to at my own discretion. I don't have to advertise it!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
    That's it, Diana, I'm going to copy the format of your profile onto my page! I love it!
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    This profile seems like 90% of the women profiles out there (not even mentioning your POF nickname, are you looking for your "KnightInShinyArmour73"?). It's crap to be frank.

    And it's too defensive:
    "If you have a girlfriend/wife and are in a relationship ... DO NOT message me! Stop pretending you're single! Are there actually single men in here?"

    "I will admit as well I am a very picky person when it comes to men! I like what I like and I refuse to settle. Nobody ever should! That doesn't mean you have to be a model ... it means your personality will always dictate how I see you!"

    "If you don't like tattoos, we won't get along!"

    "I'm 420 friendly ... that doesn't mean I do it all the time but I do on occasion so if this bothers you, we won't work out."

    "I love cuddling [...] No that doesn't mean you get free massages all the time ... that's a give and take. And also if you need to be the big spoon all the time, we won't work, lol."

    "Sex ... I have a very healthy appetite for it but I don't sleep with guys I'm not with. You will end up waiting for it so if you're going to ask me out in hopes you will get in my pants ..."

    It's like the carrot and stick strategy at every paragraph - "I do this, but you won't have it" - sounds fun! It only works well for donkeys though, so no wonder why the men you are attracting are just that: donkeys.

    Ohh my... I am assuming these are exact quotes from your profile, and if yes, this is exactly why you don't get a lot of genuine response from good men. You need to cut out the negativity for positive (we have all been played, it's a given no one needs to hear it) Also, you don't need to talk about sex, weed, single people, etc. You have your standards and your boundaries and you won't stand for less, and they will see you as a high quality women when you stand by that - in person. And people lie so why list it all.
  • raige123
    raige123 Posts: 352
    Thank you for your feedback everyone! I am going in to revamp the profile this weekend based on your suggestions. I actually did meet a nice guy ... but my luck as of late with that is not so good so fingers crossed and we'll see how this one plays out! :) You're all amazing for your honesty and help!