I can help myself
RunawayCurves
Posts: 688 Member
I recently went back to food addicts in recovery anonymous, they are one of the many 12 step groups similar to alcoholics anonymous. These are the 12 steps, they are the same in all 12 step groups you just have to mentally replace the word alcohol with whatever your addiction is.
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Anyway I have been in and out of food addicts group several times over the years. My conclusion is always the same it seems like a nice idea to be in a supportive group with strong boundaries but it always ends up feeling like I joined a cult and I find it actually starts to feel very dissempowering. It apparently works well for some people and in that case I am happy for them. It is not for me though.
I do not think declaring myself powerless is productive or healthy. I do not believe any external being is going to remove my addictions for me. Praying has never worked for me. I certainly do not think it is healthy to hand my will and my life over to an unknown external being of any kind.
In this food addicts group you are not allowed to speak in the meetings until you have 90 days abstinence. They define abstinence as no flour, no sugar, no under or over eating. only eating exactly what sponsor tells you to eat and weighing and measuring all food. Any time you break one of those rules you go back to day 1 even if you were on day 7004 if you break a rule it is back to day 1. It is incredibly clean eating which is not bad but the obsessive nature of program seems to reinforce being harsh on self. One mistake or slip and you are back to day one. The idea of being powerless over addiction is reinforced all the time. There is constant affirming and identifying self as a food addict.
It felt really wrong and I only lasted 3 weeks this time before my internal alarm bells got so loud I had to leave. I found though that listening to my inner alarm system has been really empowering. I realised I trust that internal instinct more than any group. Acknowledging that I trust part of myself has been very healing. I do not need someone to tell me how to live my life or tell me I am powerless over food. I need instead to listen to my own inner voice of self love. I do not have to binge eat. I do not have to punish myself for eating certain foods, I do not have to count my days. I realised the best person to design my recovery journey is me. I know myself better than anyone else. I know what works for me and what does not. I do not need to find the perfect food plan or the perfect support group, I do not need an external saviour from my food issues. I just need to listen to my inner self, that part of me that knows how to forgive myself, that part of me that knows I deserve to be well, the part of me that can love myself. I think the path of healing is self love. Not in an egotistical way but in a gentle forgiving kindness way. I feel like that has finally clicked for me. It took being faced with a room full of people telling me I am powerless over my food addiction for it to sink in that I am NOT powerless over food addiction. There is something inside of me that wants to get well and that is why I keep searching for the perfect group, perfect food plan etc. All I needed to do was stop searching and instead focus on where that searching is coming from. Within me is the desire to heal and focusing on that, stopping and listening to and feeling that is the I think the most effective way to heal my eating. It is a place of kindness not a place of harshness.
Anyway I just thought I would share that
I know what foods and behaviours make me feel most well and I have the power to choose
The question - is this kind or hurtful, If I choose to hurt myself then there is a need for self forgiveness. It feels good to choose kindness. I recommend it
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Anyway I have been in and out of food addicts group several times over the years. My conclusion is always the same it seems like a nice idea to be in a supportive group with strong boundaries but it always ends up feeling like I joined a cult and I find it actually starts to feel very dissempowering. It apparently works well for some people and in that case I am happy for them. It is not for me though.
I do not think declaring myself powerless is productive or healthy. I do not believe any external being is going to remove my addictions for me. Praying has never worked for me. I certainly do not think it is healthy to hand my will and my life over to an unknown external being of any kind.
In this food addicts group you are not allowed to speak in the meetings until you have 90 days abstinence. They define abstinence as no flour, no sugar, no under or over eating. only eating exactly what sponsor tells you to eat and weighing and measuring all food. Any time you break one of those rules you go back to day 1 even if you were on day 7004 if you break a rule it is back to day 1. It is incredibly clean eating which is not bad but the obsessive nature of program seems to reinforce being harsh on self. One mistake or slip and you are back to day one. The idea of being powerless over addiction is reinforced all the time. There is constant affirming and identifying self as a food addict.
It felt really wrong and I only lasted 3 weeks this time before my internal alarm bells got so loud I had to leave. I found though that listening to my inner alarm system has been really empowering. I realised I trust that internal instinct more than any group. Acknowledging that I trust part of myself has been very healing. I do not need someone to tell me how to live my life or tell me I am powerless over food. I need instead to listen to my own inner voice of self love. I do not have to binge eat. I do not have to punish myself for eating certain foods, I do not have to count my days. I realised the best person to design my recovery journey is me. I know myself better than anyone else. I know what works for me and what does not. I do not need to find the perfect food plan or the perfect support group, I do not need an external saviour from my food issues. I just need to listen to my inner self, that part of me that knows how to forgive myself, that part of me that knows I deserve to be well, the part of me that can love myself. I think the path of healing is self love. Not in an egotistical way but in a gentle forgiving kindness way. I feel like that has finally clicked for me. It took being faced with a room full of people telling me I am powerless over my food addiction for it to sink in that I am NOT powerless over food addiction. There is something inside of me that wants to get well and that is why I keep searching for the perfect group, perfect food plan etc. All I needed to do was stop searching and instead focus on where that searching is coming from. Within me is the desire to heal and focusing on that, stopping and listening to and feeling that is the I think the most effective way to heal my eating. It is a place of kindness not a place of harshness.
Anyway I just thought I would share that
I know what foods and behaviours make me feel most well and I have the power to choose
The question - is this kind or hurtful, If I choose to hurt myself then there is a need for self forgiveness. It feels good to choose kindness. I recommend it
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I've been off for the US Holidays and am only just now reading this, but I want to seriously throw you up on my shoulders and give you a hearty cheer. This is pretty much EXACTLY my personal struggle with those groups. Taking away my power is not good for me...I have to be able to live with this and WIN against it for the rest of my life. I need to learn how to do that, not expect a wizard with a wand to make it disappear somehow, etc. And excessive tracking like that is guaranteed to force a binge for me. Period. So hurrah to you for forging your own path! @RunawayCurves3
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