Fessing Up

Rachel0778

Alright GOADies, since I don't have an in-person WW Meeting I'm fessing up here...

I have been basically off the wagon since mid-August since we started looking for a home. I stress ate my feelings big time through the search process and the move since home buying was a very emotionally charged decision for me. True to form, I also ate my weight over Thanksgiving at my MIL's house. Their Thanksgiving has 4 different kinds of stuffing, 4 different kinds of potatoes, 2 different kinds of cranberry sauce, 4 different kinds of vegetable sides, ham AND turkey, and 4 different kinds of desserts. I've never seen a table more food laden in my life. I feel like garbage. It was a holiWEEKEND, not a holiDAY like I had originally planned.

I'm bloated and my work pants have been feeling tight. Thanks to the recent house purchase I'm feeling broke and guilty all the time, even when buying healthy food options. I have this intense fear that I'm ballooning out of control and that I'm going to wake up at 200+ pounds.

I woke up today, went for a walk, packed a healthy lunch, am going grocery shopping after work, and am going to a dance class tonight. I'm going back to my healthy habits, but I fear that they are just not enough and that I've been straying from them too much.

I mostly just needed to put this out there to keep myself accountable since I can no longer pretend this isn't happening. I'm debating re-joining WW to try the new plan, but I'm currently house broke as we re-build our savings and emergency fund so it doesn't seem feasible right now. Can anyone relate?

Al_Howard

Rachel, I can't relate to all your motives for eating, but I know that you're doing right by yourself today. Now, rinse and repeat.

misterhub

Unfortunately, I can relate to almost everything you say.

While I don't have the weight of a new house hanging over my head, we do have to maintain two households because I work in one city, and my true home (and wife) are in another state. Just the way it is. But, it does cause stress, and I am a stress eater, and it has really been very difficult for me to even keep any semblance of control. Not to mention work stress, which is quite high, despite the fact I like my job.

I yo-yo like crazy, and my weight is nowhere near what I consider acceptable. I am having trouble with consistency and being completely committed for more than 3-4 days at a time. I, too, have considered rejoining WW and going to meetings. I am on travel for work during most of December; so, it would have to be after the New Year. We'll see.

But, I am working to consistently track on MFP. That does help, and it keeps me focused.

So, no, you are not alone.

JimfromColumbia

You are not alone.... I too am a stress eater... thank you for your note... knowing you are facing this today has helped me as I hope it has helped you... I too, have been off the wagon for quite a while and made the decision today to move forward with a more healthy diet. I will keep swinging.... I am rooting for you to keep swinging too!

Calvin2008Brian

*kitten* happens, we recognize it, and we move on. You're doing the right things!

gadgetgirlIL

You are not alone. I also am a stress eater and I truly believe the only thing that has kept me from busting out of my work pants this hellish semester is that I've been able to get long bike rides and hikes on weekends.

Take it one day at a time sticking to your healthy habits. You can do this.

88olds

You can do this. Stand and fight here.

I didn't go off the wagon, even though I wasn't counting points, I called my problem point creep. I was aided by the fact that WW has that 2lb over goal weight thing and I never quit my meeting. So my stop was set at 186 and I got all the way to 186 exactly.

I went back to tracking. In the meantime Points Plus had started. I had to relearn everything. It was a challenge.

Beware that voice that nags you about money. Beware that voice when it says you can start after the New Year. Start now. Track your lunch.
Paper and pen is good enough. Don't know the numbers? Fill them in later.

If not now, when? Don't wait.

podkey

The good news is that it hasn't been a holi-month or holi-year. I do think that having a group is helpful and we want to be that group for ya. The new WW plan sounds pretty good to me from what I know.

Jimb376

I haven't been to pool since last Wed!!! Going to go this PM! I was going this AM but DW had me doing errands and I forgot to take my swim trunks!! LoL

Out_of_Bubblegum

The good news is that you don't have to feel this way anymore. You have recognized the problem, and are taking steps to make it better.

Celebrate the little victories - and remember that you have the Opportunity to make yourself feel better, and happier, and those feelings of health and happiness last a LOT LONGER than the momentary satisfaction of whatever it is that the mind has tricked you into craving that moment.

I'm proud of you for stepping up instead of burying your head!

linmueller

Right there with you Rachel, only I started the skid in July when my DD and DGKs moved in. Since, the stress has continued to increase as the extent of the emotional abuse DD endured was slowly revealed, and we watched it first hand. My diet was just not a priority, and food was my friend.

Now, despite a bad situation still being a bad situation, I'm ready to do something about it. I have to. I feel awful when i eat too much, and sadly, even feeling awful doesn't stop my shoveling. Something has got to give.

So tomorrow i will try, AGAIN, to get back on track. Maybe we can do it together? I'm pulling for you. You are definitely not alone!

goldenfrisbee

Hey Rachael, I'm right there even with the timing. My daughter got married out of state in early August and I let things go while preparing for the wedding. Then I got back home and didn't go back to my healthy habits.

Last week Cindy posted about starting to track again and I decided to do the same. Losing weight is slow and gaining weight is also slow. I was amazed after I got back from the wedding that I hadn't gained 5-10 pounds. And because I didn't gain much, I figured I could let the diligence slide a little bit. Then I started to notice my new clothes were getting tight. Then I noticed that I was reaching for my old clothes. Now I'm wearing my largest T-shirt again. When will I learn

The only thing I maintained was checking in here every day. I felt like I would be lost without at least reading some posts here every day. Onward and downward.

minimyzeme

Not much I can add to the good summation and input above @Rachel0778 other than to say I respect the courage it took to share your confessional here. I know there's a difference between thinking all those thoughts and typing them in for your peers to read. Clearly, your post helped us too!

My ----whatever the hell you call it--motto (maybe) is "from this day, Forward". I chose that back a couple years ago on the old GOAD board when that was what was called for in a LTL thread (I think).

You're beating yourself up (or were) over a few months off-track. I beat myself up over a decade or more off-track. Truthfully, neither of us get that time back. All we can realistically and effectively do is better today than we did yesterday. If we allow yesterday to adversely rule our behavior today and tomorrow, we'll never step off this path and onto the one we rightly want and choose to be on.

You've taken many significant steps today, or over the last few days. Forget about yesterday or yestermonth. Focus on what's in front of you. Focus on how you can strategically use what you've learned to good advantage when under stress again (it will happen) or back for an extended stay with a bountiful food table (it too will happen again).

I don't wish people luck on this journey because I think success or failure has nothing to do with luck. It's about our choices. Today, you've chosen several things different than you did a few days or weeks ago. It's your new start based on your weight management objectives--go for it and don't look back!

cakeman21k

will everyone who is NOT a stress eater raise their hands? Nope no hands to be seen! Now will everyone who has NOT fallen off the wagon raise their hands? Nope no hands to be seen! On the basis of those 2 questions I conclude that you are not alone! I believe its all part of the journey.

myallforjcbill

Rachael, clearly you are not alone in this, though the life details are different for each of us. I appreciate your openness. Great job on making a few simple decisions today in the spirit of MTBC!

Rachel0778

Thank you all for your wonderful responses and support! I am glad to be a part of this group and I am excited to move forward "from this day forward" as @minimyzeme aptly put it. I've never wavered from tracking, but I'm looking to greatly reduce the amount of 3000+ calorie days in my diary. @linmueller, I'm looking forward to getting back on track with you and the rest of the GOADies.

I bought a ton of healthy options and I'm already feeling better about the outlook ahead. 2018 is going to be my year!

GavinFlynn1

I’m another that can relate. I have been falling off and jumping on the wagon silently for months now. Thanks for posting this.

countcurt

cakeman21k wrote: »

will everyone who is NOT a stress eater raise their hands? Nope no hands to be seen! Now will everyone who has NOT fallen off the wagon raise their hands? Nope no hands to be seen!

For the record, some of us are not stress eaters. Nevertheless, many of us have periods where we struggle with managing our eating.

I don't bring this up to pick nits. Rather, to point out that managing one's caloric intake is even more complicated than a simple emotional 'lever' might seem to imply.

While my weight is in a manageable range (still off my desired weight, but no net change over the past few months), it doesn't mean I don't find being where I am challenging. More so now than at other times.

I hesitate to say I've succeeded in maintenance this year, even though my weight has not gone up. I've opined on this before; if your goal is to lose weight (even 'just' the 5-10 pounds that you can't seem to shake), then you are not in maintenance.