Could you????
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I wouldnt care if he told me or not... I have 1 male friend who was in a LTR since high school and has only been with the 1 partner.I know he told women and they were ok with it.
My number is more than one, but also relatively low since I was in a LTR too. I wonder if (or how much) how many partners we've each had affect how we feel about this topic?0 -
Maybe its because I lost mine around 11 that makes me not care but seriously, couldn't care less. The only person I ever loved was a virgin and she told me before hand (we were both 19 at the time)
I was still playing with Barbies I feel like. Haha
Funny, I was playing with some Barbies too
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No. sex is a natural part of a healthy relationship. and furthermore their life choices that brought them to that decision would mean that we are most likely incompatible.
So are you scared the person has never been in a relationship that lead to sex/is your hesitation about her lack of relationships? Are you hesitant because you think she won't have sex for a long time? What makes you hesitant about her?
And for that matter going back to an earlier thought in a different thread...what if you met an awesome girl, you went out on three dates or four or five and you think she's super awesome and you tell your friends about her and then she said "by the way Laces I'm a virgin." Surely that wouldn't be a deal breaker where you dump her on the spot? Perhaps you would like her in spite of it. I like to assume the best from people.
i would assume that it comes from strict religious beginning...most likely Christianity...if they are that serious about no sex before marriage they probably believe a lot of other strict Bible teachings like no same sex marriage. i just wouldnt want to date/marry someone who had those kind of beliefs.
obviously im making a lot of assumptions here but i think in general they'd be true...
however, lets say i met someone....went on a few dates and thought they were truly one of the most awesome people i had ever met and they told me they were a virgin because of some non religious reason and it made sense to me....in that case id probably continue the relationship. but the odds of that happening are basically zero.0 -
So really it was just bad circumstances that have led to the point that I am at now. Really I am to the point of getting drunk and having a one night stand just to get it over with.
Eh, I think falling into a ONS (drunk or not) will be un-rewarding at this point though. Maybe you know someone who might be into a FWB type thing?0 -
I wouldn't date a virgin unless I learn she touches herself all the time. I think I want someone who is understand and is comfortable with their own pleasure as a general rule.
It's more about the state of mind for me and what, on average, a virgin would imply regarding their relationship to pleasure.
A non-sexual woman but not virgin because she simply happened to have been used as dip for someone else's biscuit 10 years ago by mistake (as she was drunk) doesn't interest me in the slightest to be honest, even though she isn't technically speaking a virgin anymore.
So yes, for me it's the relationship with pleasure, and knowing herself well enough to understand how to have it that matters more.0 -
I wouldn't date a virgin unless I learn she touches herself all the time. I think I want someone who is understand and is comfortable with their own pleasure as a general rule.
It's more about the state of mind for me and what, on average, a virgin would imply regarding their relationship to pleasure.
A non-sexual woman but not virgin because she simply happened to have been used as dip for someone else's biscuit 10 years ago by mistake (as she was drunk) doesn't interest me in the slightest to be honest, even though she isn't technically speaking a virgin anymore.
So yes, for me it's the relationship with pleasure, and knowing herself well enough to understand how to have it that matters more.
That is a great way to look at it. Being sexual doesn't always mean being sexual with another person.0 -
I said earleir that based on a past experience I probably wouldn't do it again. My reasoning is that if a woman made it to mid 30s or later without ever having sex that either sex is not something that is important to them, her religious beliefs are not in line with mine, or if sex is important to her, she doesn't know how to acquire basics wants that nearly everyone else in her age range has learned how to acquire.
None of those options seem all that appealing to me. Additionally, I can see a woman who has waited so long as placing such an emphasis on it being special that she would be even more attached than the typical woman gets once she starts having sex with a guy. Break ups are hard enough with the normal level of emotional attachment. I really don't want to think about how hard it would be for someone who is even more attached than typical.0 -
I wouldn't date a virgin unless I learn she touches herself all the time. I think I want someone who is understand and is comfortable with their own pleasure as a general rule.
It's more about the state of mind for me and what, on average, a virgin would imply regarding their relationship to pleasure.
A non-sexual woman but not virgin because she simply happened to have been used as dip for someone else's biscuit 10 years ago by mistake (as she was drunk) doesn't interest me in the slightest to be honest, even though she isn't technically speaking a virgin anymore.
So yes, for me it's the relationship with pleasure, and knowing herself well enough to understand how to have it that matters more.
That is a great way to look at it. Being sexual doesn't always mean being sexual with another person.
Both of these posts are very true and I completely agree.0 -
Like others have said, I'd date a virgin as long she wasn't waiting until marriage or ultra religious. I have to try my clothes on before I buy them because if they don't fit I have to take them back, same deal with women (haha).0
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1. Yes I'd date a virgin close to my age
2. I'd rather know
I don't know... I'm getting close to 50 years old. If a guy hasn't worked it out by now.. I'm not sure I'd want to go there. Too much work. lol0 -
So really it was just bad circumstances that have led to the point that I am at now. Really I am to the point of getting drunk and having a one night stand just to get it over with.
Eh, I think falling into a ONS (drunk or not) will be un-rewarding at this point though. Maybe you know someone who might be into a FWB type thing?
I'm with PJ Ruth. Dont just bang a stranger on a ONS. You won't enjoy it and it might put you off for life. Find a friend or someone that know's your circumstances and want's the pleasure. You want a guy that really enjoys sex and giving pleasure, rather than a wham bam that doesnt give a sh1t about you. I'd choose Chris!!
Orrr, Go on a sex site, maybe? Men on there are into sex, just not into relationships. And they strive for it to be good.........obviously have a chat about it first......see if you click......etc
And dont do it drunk either. You dont feel a thing or remember ........!! :laugh: Kinda Pointless?0 -
To the girls in this thread that actually ARE virgins:
No way should you look for someone who would be with you "in spite of" your status. What you have to offer is a fantasy that guys talk and dream about but don't think they will ever actually encounter. A girl with a good head on her shoulders, life on track, and the self control to save herself for someone she really cares about. I would be thrilled to fall in love with someone like this and be able to share that moment together. I know it sounds lame, but all had-*kitten*-ness aside, I think a lot of us probably feel that way.
I think because this is viewed as a "fantasy" or something out of a romance flick, there are often reservations. It can't be real - will she get bored and want to go bang other dudes? Does her vagina have teeth? That sort of thing.
Anyway, what I am saying is be proud of what you have to offer. Kudos to you.
(no disrespect meant to the ladies getting hella d*ck, you know I love you)0 -
I'd choose Chris!!
Anna is speaking from experience, by the way. 0 -
Joining the topic late I know, but well personally:
1) Yes
2) Yes, relationships are about honesty.
This is coming from someone who was a virgin until the age of 29. Not through any religious choice, not through prudishness, I just don't believe in one night stands per se. for me it has to be about a connection, not a drunken random attraction, but having said that you can have that connection in 2 minutes, or 2 years. I could and should have "lost it" when i was 21 but due to a combination of following my own ill advised gentlemanly code and just being an idiot and a drunken idiot i missed the opportunity, though actually in the end she appreciated it and gave me the credit for not (she was Danish, I'm English, it was in Thailand, and she had a boyfriend back home who she eventually went home and split up with) but she appreciated that I was willing to just go on the connection we had without insisting it had to go further.
Like i say am not against it happening with people at any point, its simply about what's right for them. I admire Fithealthyforlife and christine for standing by their principles until its right for them, but no more than i admire others for doing the opposite as its right for them. i have no regrets when it happened for me, which was with a 31 year old mother of 3 (oldest 14 that point), and it was the start of quite an intense 7 month relationship. We're not together anymore but we're still very close, now as friends, which to me justifies that the connection was more than just physical. but thats what works for me, its different for everyone.. and to missingminnesota, don't do it just for the sake of it unless that is true to you. at the end of the day thats all that it comes down to, what works for you, not what the pressure or society says. after waiting till now don't regret not waiting a little longer.
anyway enough of restarting threads and sounding pretentious.0 -
Probably not.
I would find that very weird . . . .0 -
It would really depend on why they are a virgin.
I would want to know holding something like that back would be a major issue for me.0 -
A few thoughts here:
- I don't want to date someone I can't have sex with. I guess it would depend on why they were a virgin. Waiting until marriage? That's great but probably not a good fit for me.
- Is it for religious reasons? Nothing wrong with that, but the massive pentagram tattooed on my stomach might make for an interesting first time for her if so. Also we might not have a lot in common if religion was a #1 priority.
- I would want to know. I'd also want to know why and why she has decided to make a change. I would make a HUGE effort to make the first time really special.
No judgement either way. I'd probably find it really interesting. I like people that have something that sets them apart. I also find it admirable when people have a belief of their own and stick to it for their own reasons.A girl with a good head on her shoulders, life on track, and the self control to save herself for someone she really cares about. I would be thrilled to fall in love with someone like this and be able to share that moment together. I know it sounds lame, but all had-*kitten*-ness aside, I think a lot of us probably feel that way.
:flowerforyou:
D*mn California......D*mmit all!!!! :brokenheart: :sad:0 -
(no disrespect meant to the ladies getting hella d*ck, you know I love you)
PMSL!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
I'd choose Chris!!
Anna is speaking from experience, by the way.
Yeah baby!! :smooched:0 -
I would date them and I would want to know.
I would also be willing to wait a bit before making any moves and try to romance her as much as possible. In fact, I would possibly wait until she brought it up and said she was ready. Being someone's first would be a huge responsibility, so I would try to make it as amazing and seamless for her as possible so even if we didnt work out long term, she would always carry a fond memory of it,
aww so sweet.
to answer the question i doubt there are any guys my age that are still virgins but i probably would still date them but want to know of course.
there was one guy i was hesitant to date bc he hadn't had a gf before. I wasn't trying to be mean, i just wasnt in a place where I felt like Icould be a good gf and I didnt want his first relationship to be a bad one. but I digress, that's a different story. lol.0 -
So really it was just bad circumstances that have led to the point that I am at now. Really I am to the point of getting drunk and having a one night stand just to get it over with.
Eh, I think falling into a ONS (drunk or not) will be un-rewarding at this point though. Maybe you know someone who might be into a FWB type thing?
I'm with PJ Ruth. Dont just bang a stranger on a ONS. You won't enjoy it and it might put you off for life. Find a friend or someone that know's your circumstances and want's the pleasure. You want a guy that really enjoys sex and giving pleasure, rather than a wham bam that doesnt give a sh1t about you. I'd choose Chris!!
Orrr, Go on a sex site, maybe? Men on there are into sex, just not into relationships. And they strive for it to be good.........obviously have a chat about it first......see if you click......etc
And dont do it drunk either. You dont feel a thing or remember ........!! :laugh: Kinda Pointless?
I wouldn't want to have sex with one of my guy friends because they gossip like 12 year old girls. Sex site just seems creepy. I wasn't fully serious about getting drunk having a 1 night stand, just seems like the easiest way. That is the catch 22 I am in.0 -
So really it was just bad circumstances that have led to the point that I am at now. Really I am to the point of getting drunk and having a one night stand just to get it over with.
Eh, I think falling into a ONS (drunk or not) will be un-rewarding at this point though. Maybe you know someone who might be into a FWB type thing?
I'm with PJ Ruth. Dont just bang a stranger on a ONS. You won't enjoy it and it might put you off for life. Find a friend or someone that know's your circumstances and want's the pleasure. You want a guy that really enjoys sex and giving pleasure, rather than a wham bam that doesnt give a sh1t about you. I'd choose Chris!!
Orrr, Go on a sex site, maybe? Men on there are into sex, just not into relationships. And they strive for it to be good.........obviously have a chat about it first......see if you click......etc
And dont do it drunk either. You dont feel a thing or remember ........!! :laugh: Kinda Pointless?
I wouldn't want to have sex with one of my guy friends because they gossip like 12 year old girls. Sex site just seems creepy. I wasn't fully serious about getting drunk having a 1 night stand, just seems like the easiest way. That is the catch 22 I am in.
I second Anna's vote for Chris!:bigsmile:0 -
1. Yes, I would although I think it would be hard to find a man my age that is. There are those who decide to "save themselves" after divorces for the next marriage. I've run into some of these men and have no problem because there are still other ways to please each other. If you really enjoy being with the person than it's worth it.
2. I'd want to know. Honesty is always best.0 -
1. Yes, I would although I think it would be hard to find a man my age that is. There are those who decide to "save themselves" after divorces for the next marriage. I've run into some of these men and have no problem because there are still other ways to please each other. If you really enjoy being with the person than it's worth it.
2. I'd want to know. Honesty is always best.
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1. Yes, I believe I could. I have to admit, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 24 (raised in a strict, religious environment, I was always told that sex was something shameful), so I am very grateful to the men who were patient with me and willing to teach me. Of course, I was a very enthusiastic student :blushing: It would be interesting to see how I would react were the roles reversed.
2. I would like to be told.0 -
1. Sure. Wouldn't bother me any.
2. I guess it would be cool to know but if not then no biggie.0 -
I'd choose Chris!!
Anna is speaking from experience, by the way.
Yeah baby!! :smooched:
Lucky Anna! ;-)0 -
Seeing as how I might as well be a "born again" (not in the religious way) virgin...
I've only ever been with one person, a now on-going 7 year dry spell (it's not a nice place finding out there is an actual seven year "itch").
The irony is that I like aggressive women. I like someone who knows what she wants, and isn't afraid to go after it. However, I also want a woman that's invested in building an emotional connection at the same time as physical. I don't want to start off fwb, hooking up.
I'm someone who's meant for a more emotional kind of connection first rather than physical. And, when that connection is made, I'm hoping I find someone where she is okay with the honeymoon never ending. 7 years is a damn long time to make up.
Anyways, I always have anecdote for my friends who are more toward fwb, or hook up, or whatever.
Long term people are not prudes, they just prefer to have guaranteed sex for a year or several years.
1. I probably won't find this, but I wouldn't mind being a girl's first.
2. History is history, concentrate on the present first.0 -
To the girls in this thread that actually ARE virgins:
No way should you look for someone who would be with you "in spite of" your status. What you have to offer is a fantasy that guys talk and dream about but don't think they will ever actually encounter. A girl with a good head on her shoulders, life on track, and the self control to save herself for someone she really cares about. I would be thrilled to fall in love with someone like this and be able to share that moment together. I know it sounds lame, but all had-*kitten*-ness aside, I think a lot of us probably feel that way.
I think because this is viewed as a "fantasy" or something out of a romance flick, there are often reservations. It can't be real - will she get bored and want to go bang other dudes? Does her vagina have teeth? That sort of thing.
Anyway, what I am saying is be proud of what you have to offer. Kudos to you.
(no disrespect meant to the ladies getting hella d*ck, you know I love you)
I just screen-capped this for future reference when I'm feeling bad. Thank you
To answer the original questions...
Rather hypocritically, because I am inexperienced myself, I would prefer to form a relationship that might lead to sex with someone who knows (presumably!) what he's doing, so that after all of this waiting around, the first time has a decent chance of being better than the High School fumble I missed out on... I won't say I wouldn't date a virgin of similar age to myself, but I'd prefer a different scenario.
Would I want to know? Yes. I'd be pretty wary in general about being upfront about my own situation (though the responses on this thread are fairly reassuring that perhaps it's not as much of a big deal/as 'shameful' as pop culture makes out), but with someone I trusted enough to consider going to bed with, I'd assume I would feel more able to be honest. I'd hope the situation would be the same if the level of experience was reversed. Knowing how nervous the whole situation makes me feel, I'd want to know so that I was able to be as reassuring and empathetic as possible.0 -
I wouldn't date a virgin unless I learn she touches herself all the time. I think I want someone who is understand and is comfortable with their own pleasure as a general rule.
It's more about the state of mind for me and what, on average, a virgin would imply regarding their relationship to pleasure.
A non-sexual woman but not virgin because she simply happened to have been used as dip for someone else's biscuit 10 years ago by mistake (as she was drunk) doesn't interest me in the slightest to be honest, even though she isn't technically speaking a virgin anymore.
So yes, for me it's the relationship with pleasure, and knowing herself well enough to understand how to have it that matters more.
Totally agree with this response!
But, at 33 I probably would not date a man in my age group who was a virgin, regardless of how much he jerked it - at this point I think he would either be religious, asexual, or socially awkward. I also like men who are assertive, aggressive in bed etc. I think a man who was a virgin in his mid 30s would not be so. I'm open to younger dudes though, so if a guy was 25 and a virgin because he hasn't found the right girl yet or whatever, I would be ok with that as long as he was sexual and eager to please/learn. And yes, I would absolutely want to know.0
