Progress Report
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My starting weight: 321
My goal weight: 161
My current weight: 282.6
So I am currently recovering from 5 days of basically binging.
But today is a new day! I have been consistently hitting the gym at least 3 times a week. Still walking the old treadmill but I have added weight training. I'm gonna get me some muscles and speed up the old metabolism. Still doing calorie counting - so anything goes as long as I'm under on calories. I know eventually I'll need to work on higher quality calories but since this is working still I haven't found the motivation to change yet.3 -
My Starting Weight: ~477 jan 16 2018
My goal: 270 then we will see how much more i can go
Milestone: being under 450 , not happened in 10 years
Current Weight: 440
Loss this week: -don't know yet find out june 12
Total loss: -37
I haven't weighted 270 since I was 23 , then I had a baby and have never seen that number again LOL I would like to weigh 200 or even 175 , but I can not even wrap my mind around that , it's hard to imagine 270 , right now . BUT I am feeling better (still hurt ) but not as much .
I will say this , even if I do not lose all that weight , I will never go back to the way i was eating before . I will always do low carb . I will live this way the rest of my life , and I will be happy eating this way , because I am now . since my son has been out of school he is eating my food and loving it . so maybe I will slowly bring him over to my side soon LOL. Thank You to everyone in this group you help me so much!!!!6 -
@amy_kee:
I am so sorry to be so long in replying, but my life has been such a whirlwind the last 2 months; I don't even know where May went! Work has had me on the road for the last 4 weeks, and when I'm out, I usually only log my food on my phone; I HATE trying to reply to posts on an iphone, and the myfitnesspal app is a pain in the rear to use on a good day!
In answer to your question, no, I'm under any kind of medical management for my depression; I'm not in counseling nor am I on medication for it. I do think that stress is a major component to my problems, and my job is a key component of my stress, but at the moment, I'm trapped in my job with no options that I can see.
When I have time to think and can get a step back to find a bit of objectivity, I really can't see medication helping, or rather, medication just masking the problem like it does with my dad and sister instead of getting to the root of the issue. I've thought about counseling, but I really don't know who to truly talk to about it. I'm a devout Christian, so whoever I dealt with would have to be of similar ideals to be able to understand where I'm coming from because my faith permeates every facet of my world view; my faith isn't just my "religion"; its the foundation of who I am as a person and is the basis because my values. The issue is, though, that depression is still something that isn't well-dealt with, at least not within my particular denomination, and I'm afraid that I'm still trying to work past ideas that I know intellectually are wrong when it comes to depression that has been presented to me over the years from well-meaning pastors who had never experienced depression or dealt with it and who had a very simplistic view of it. You know what I mean? Things and ideas get ingrained into your thought patterns that later perspective lets you see are wrong thoughts and wrong ideas, but they have become so ground into your psyche that its very difficult to get the emotional component that is involved to change along with the intellectual one.
The weekends are better; on the weekends, I'm just as busy, but being able to garden and plant and mow my grass and work around my house makes me feel better; I have a sense of accomplishment and of success from those kinds of projects that I don't get at work. I'm really hoping things slow down a bit in July. I have a conference I'm planning to attend at the end of hte month, and then I really would like to fit a quick camping trip in somewhere; our family vacation over memorial day wasn't all that restful to me, and then I've been doing a bunch of traveling for work. I have a quick family trip to Tennessee this weekend which isn't going to be restful, either, and while I'm looking forward to my trip to Missouri for that conference, I don't see where its going to be very restful either - though the best perk of that is that I'm going by myself, so I'll be getting some distance between myself and my family for a while!
I have been feeling better the last week or so, thank the Good Lord! I do appreciate your concerns!
There really isn't a good place to walk here where I'm working during lunch, I'm afraid. The complex is very congested, there aren't quiet residential streets here, and the main road is very busy without any sidewalks, and I feel very conscientious walking along the main flow of traffic, anyway. And I've so busy after work, trying to get so many chores and other things completed in the few hours of daylight I have after work, that I don't walk then, either. I hate the heat and I hate regular, traditional exercise anyway, and by the time evening comes along, my will power is gone, so I rarely win the battle in making myself walk in the evenings. And since I'm up at 5:45 AM anyway to get to work, and I'm not a morning person, I gave up on exercising before work a long, long time ago.
the good news is that with the coming of summer, while I still don't have a regular exercise program going, I do seem to have been doing a LOT of strenuous activity. I made planting boxes and have been working out flower beds with a hand cultivator (and have the callouses on my hands to show just how much of that I've been doing!), digging to plant flowers and bulbs, hand-digging post holes, push-mowing my yard, carrying large bags of soil and much around, concrete blocks - I may not be doing regular, traditional exercise, but I'm definitely being very active! And that is helping, too!1 -
@bmeadows380 : I find that physical workouts I can get in while I am doing home or yard improvements are the most fulfilling! Whether it’s shoveling snow, mowing, gardening, taking the vacuum up and downstairs or running back and forth outside with the dog, they get my heart rate up and the sweat pouring down my face as much as walking on my treadmill or doing the elliptical!1
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that's me definitely! It's a battle to walk on a treadmill or force myself to walk as exercise, but I can crisscross my hard and my house 100 times in less than a day without batting an eye when I'm working. And its so nice to feel tired and look at my yard or my house and see where I've been!
A friend of my family told me I should have been a farmer; I think he was right!1 -
@bmeadows380 - depression can be such a heavy load to carry. I can tell you - and it is just my experience - but for me meds don't mask anything really. For me it's more like they clear the fog in my brain enough to allow me to be me. Maybe the experience is different for each individual. I'm certainly not saying they are the answer for everyone but maybe you could talk it over with you dr? I just hate it for you that you can't see a path to getting past it yet.2
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I think life is making it harder for me. I have an autoimmune disorder that affects my GI tract and until the end of last year was being treated with prednisone. I was on it for most of 2016 and 2017 and I put 100 lbs on in those 2 years. So I switched to a new med the end of last year and started logging the beginning of this year. My new meds have been amazing.
Until now. A lot of people with my disease can't eat fruits or veggies. I have been eating a huge salad for lunch every day and I think all the raw veggies are making me sick.
Lose weight without eating veggies. Yeah .... that sounds easy.2 -
@bmeadows380 Thanks for getting back. I understand how it is when life is so busy. I've also been very busy & have been away from here for a while. I can't imagine how difficult it is with ALL OF YOUR TRAVELING all the time!!
I'm also a Christian and that applies to all of my life, not just in words only. It's hard being around some people that don't respect that or appreciate that. It seems like lately when I make a new friend, a lot of the time, they are an atheist. The latest one was very outspoken against God and Christ, mocks Christian beliefs, etc. I felt so horrible around them.
But, for "good" therapists, I've never had a problem with them. They show respect, and understand patient's wants, desires, and needs, and where they are coming from. Especially, since you prefer not to go the medication route, please try some therapy. It will be almost impossible to look up a therapist by their religious preference, but, maybe try to just find a good therapists and be up front and honest, in the beginning, about your religious beliefs and preferences, and what you need the therapist to understand, in order to best help you. I'm sure they will do their best to be accommodating to you.
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@MzCara148 Thanks for posting about your depression and how the meds help you feel. I also take meds for depression. I've went through many meds, but my Dr. and I finally settled on Cymbalta (I take the generic now). The Cymbalta helps with my depression--I don't cry when I look at green grass anymore (seriously), I can count numbers again, I can think better, and like you said @MzCara148 it literally lifted the fog state from all around me. I used to not be able to do anything, but, now, I don't have any problems. I used to not care about anything and want to die all the time, now, I'm so happy about living, serving God, and happy about working to lose weight. My generic Cymbalta helps me to CARE & WANT to do things.
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@MzCara148 Awww, so sorry the yucky Prednisone gave you and extra 100 lbs in 2 yrs!! I've heard it makes people gain weight, but, I had no idea it was that bad. Glad you were able to finally switch to a new med.
I bet it was so fantastic getting to finally eat the great salads, after so long--going without them. I'm real sorry your body is now rejecting the fresh veggies in the salads. That's so sad. 
Fresh veggies taste the best of all the ways veggies are offered too. Maybe the next best way would be frozen veggies, b/c they are freshly frozen. Could your body tolerate that? Or, do you have to eat boiled, steamed, roasted, or stir-fried veggies? Roasted veggies are real tasty, if your body will tolerate that. 0 -
@bmeadows380 Thanks for getting back. I understand how it is when life is so busy. I've also been very busy & have been away from here for a while. I can't imagine how difficult it is with ALL OF YOUR TRAVELING all the time!!
I'm also a Christian and that applies to all of my life, not just in words only. It's hard being around some people that don't respect that or appreciate that. It seems like lately when I make a new friend, a lot of the time, they are an atheist. The latest one was very outspoken against God and Christ, mocks Christian beliefs, etc. I felt so horrible around them.
But, for "good" therapists, I've never had a problem with them. They show respect, and understand patient's wants, desires, and needs, and where they are coming from. Especially, since you prefer not to go the medication route, please try some therapy. It will be almost impossible to look up a therapist by their religious preference, but, maybe try to just find a good therapists and be up front and honest, in the beginning, about your religious beliefs and preferences, and what you need the therapist to understand, in order to best help you. I'm sure they will do their best to be accommodating to you.
@amy_kee
All the traveling definitely makes the diet difficult and I end up eating out a lot!
I know what you mean! It doesn't help that in today's society, there really seems to be a lot of hard feelings towards people who have fundamental, traditional Christian beliefs and values, and all the division and politically correct stuff in our society just divides us up and stirs up anger and hatred. I'm fully for a live and let live society, but that's not what the mainstream portrays these days: if you don't agree with someone's viewpoint, you are labeled a hater, which leaves me feeling very much an outsider in a society that claims its all for diversity. I'm already rather reclusive and socially awkward and introverted as it is; all this PC stuff that is going on today only serves to make me feel even more isolated!
Its funny how I don't' seem to have a problem spouting off my feelings in writing (hence these really long, epic emails that tells folks WAY more than they ever wanted to know about me!), but I have a really, really hard time opening up in person to someone face to face. I've wanted to talk to my former pastor, but I kept putting it off because 1) I would have a hard time talking to him in person and 2) I already have a pretty good idea of his views on depression and medication and his thoughts on what it would take to fix my problems, which I already know but to my frustration, don't' seem to understand how to put into practice. I have tried putting my thoughts into a letter, but he prefers face to face discussions, and I'm afraid I avoided that and now that I live 6 hours away, its no longer an option. Plus he's got a lot of stress in his own personal life, and I hate to lay more burdens on him.
I hear a lot from both sides on Christians and different depression treatments and approaches, and I truthfully am not sure who's in the right; I suspect both sides have a little right and a little wrong, but I hesitate to fall on one side or the other as I can't seem to discern where the truth lies. So I've got a lot of different viewpoints and opinions mixed up inside, but I've never been very good at making a decision and moving on; I tend to second guess myself horribly, and its no different here in trying to figure out what to do.
I'd rather not go to my current pastor, either, as I have a pretty good idea on his thoughts on depression (he's a lot in line with the previous pastor) and frankly, I don't want my mother especially to have an inkling of what is going on. My mother is under a ton of stress in dealing with my dad and my sister and being my brother's support in his problems with his wife and in laws and she's shown some signs of cracking herself; I don't want to add to her pile! I'm the one she doesn't worry about; I don't want her worrying about me. And if I schedule an appointment with my pastor, she's going to know about it (its a small town and a smaller sized church; everyone knows what everyone else is doing). Besides which Mom doesn't understand, anyway. She tries - bless her heart, she tries - but she doesn't really know me. She's got this built up image of me, of my strengths and my weakness and my goals in life, and she's not real keen on letting anything shake that image, including reality. I've attempted in times past to change some of those perceptions she has, but it ended rather disastrously so I let things go as they are.1 -
I had to go to this medical place today to have an ultra sound done on my cervical area and woman parts LOL don't know what the test say yet so that will be later . BUT while I was there I went and talked to the limb clinic and diabetic clinic they have there , There is a program called HealThySelf program , it is a 12 week program of diet, exercise , and medical . They have a gym that is geared to people who are over weight , and need to lose 100's not just 20 or 30 pounds . but anyone with diabetes can go. Since it has a medical team, they are going to look at this huge bump on the top of my left leg and see if I can have it removed . It really makes it hard to walk when ya have a basketball in between your legs . I do walk and try to work out , but after a big workout my knee is killing me , because it throws my walk off . Plus since I have lost close to 50 pounds , it is hanging and painful. So I have to have a referral from my doc , so I sent her an e-mail and got back already from her team That she will be notified and they would give me a referral . I started to do this 5 years ago and chickened out , our insurance will pay for it , and my part will only be like 200 bucks out of pocket , so no excuse to not do this. So my progress report is I am going to do it and get this operated on and make my life easier and so I can work out more and longer and also look better (because it looks awful ) that is why I do not swim . Thanks for listening !!!2
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@tammyfranks2.
Wow! Look at you brave lady, ready to break free of your chains. I am sending positive energy and prayer your way, and cheering you on. There is a great energy of positive change in the air this year. It might just be the emotion from seeing the world through fresh eyes (literally), but I am on such a positive high since taking the steps to deal with my long crippling fear and have my eyesight fixed.1 -
PloddingTurtle wrote: »@tammyfranks2.
Wow! Look at you brave lady, ready to break free of your chains. I am sending positive energy and prayer your way, and cheering you on. There is a great energy of positive change in the air this year. It might just be the emotion from seeing the world through fresh eyes (literally), but I am on such a positive high since taking the steps to deal with my long crippling fear and have my eyesight fixed.
Thank you so much!!!0 -
@tammyfranks2 I am so happy for you. Doing things to better yourself. I read your post and teared up. It's absolutely amazing to see how far you have come. Almost 50 lbs....try carrying 5 sacks of potatoes....that's what you have lost. Bravo girl!!!!! 2
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My Starting Weight: ~375 lbs (01/01/2017)
My goal: 260 lbs (this would put me below the 40 BMI mark for being morbidly obese or stage 3 obese)
Milestone: 260 lbs
Current Weight: 270 lbs 7/12/18
Loss this week: 0 lbs
Total loss: -105 lbs
What's Working: wow - its been quite a while since I updated this! Though that's pretty much because I haven't had any progress to report. I am well and truly stuck and cannot get off this stinking plateau. I'm happy that I am maintaining; its been 6 months since I had any truly significant weight change, but in that time, I have not regained anything despite vacations and family and church get togethers with lots of food, not to mention my high stress levels right now, but it is so frustrating to be spinning my wheels in place!
What Needs Work: everything. I'm tired all the time, my willpower is tanked, and I'm fighting constant hunger cravings that I know are mental and not physical. I don't know why I'm dealing with those now, after a year of dieting and losing.
I'm still under a great deal of stress and think that perhaps my years of dealing with my depression on my own are catching up to me now. I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for the end of August, and I plan to speak to her about possible methods of getting me restarted losing (methods that don't include surgery). Meanwhile, I'm coming to realize and maybe start moving toward accepting that I could use some help on the depression front - you have no idea how much of a battle that has been with myself to even consider looking for therapy; its amazing how powerful our preconceived notions can be!1 -
You have some fantastic effort that you can be proud of, @bmeadows380. A loss in the three digits? Wow! Six months of maintenance despite feeling tired and depressed? Holy Dinah! You are a rock star!
When you go see your doc, do talk about how tired you are. Last year I mentioned to my doctor how tired (exhausted) I was all the time, and she sent me for tests. I was diagnosed with both severe sleep apnea and hypothyroid. Well no wonder I was so tired. One year later, I'm only tired when I don't get enough sleep, and that feels different than the weary exhaustion I'd been living with before diagnosis.
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thanks, @PloddingTurtle
I've been tested for sleep apnea, and that was back before I started losing weight - I was borderline to mild, and losing weight should have improved that.
I don't have a thyroid anymore as it was removed in 2014 because of cancer, and according to my endocrinologist, I should be technically in the hyperthyroid range as part of the standard care for cancer patients - they don't want any remaining thyroid cells being stimulated, so they up your medication to put you into a hyperthyroid state. But even when she had my TSH suppress down to 0.01, I was still tired and sluggish.
I have asked my PCP to do some extensive bloodwork. I was diagnosed over 10 years ago with PCOS and being insulin resistant; since I've lost so much weight, my PCP would like to see if the insulin resistance has improved, and I specifically asked her to check all those PCOS hormone levels and T4 and T3 as well - my endo only checks TSH and pronounces me fine on that, and I've wondered for a while now if my t3 levels were right. My PCP checked back with me and said she has the bloodwork order in, though she didn't specify what they were testing for sure; if I don't get the T3 levels, then I'm going to hound my edo to do it.
for those who don't know, your brain sends a signal to your thyroid to produce its hormones when your body needs more energy. The main thing it produces is T4, which goes to the liver. The liver converts T4 to T3, which your cells then use to boost their metabolic activity. When being treated for being hypothyroid, the standard of care is synthroid, which is synthetic T4, and its assumed that hte T4 to T3 conversion takes place with no issues. ITs hard to get doctors to test for the T3 and in some places its flat out not happening; however, there are some doctors who are pointing out that not everyone has the right T3 levels even when T4 is right, which means that while the bloodwork says everything should be working just fine, in reality, at the cellular level, they are still hypothyroid. I've been talking to other thyroid patients who know more about this, and this is why I've asked for the T3 test as I'm beginning to wonder if I"m not in that category - because according to the bloodwork, I should be hyperthyroid with my TSH being so suppressed, but I have most of the signs of being hypo still.1 -
Summary of my first month of gym workouts (July 10 - August 9):
- went to the gym on 25 of the 31 days (free one-month membership well used)
- fought badly inflamed feet in the first weeks, and didn't use it as an excuse to quit
- steadily increased weights weekly and finished the month at double the weight on all my strength exercises since starting
- increased stationary bike to a 30-minute interval without need for pause (slowly developing an iron butt)
- my average daily steps has surpassed 7,500 and is beginning a steady flirt with 10K
- my reliance on Tylenol and Advil is no longer a daily requirement
- I'm frequently exhausted, but this is tired in a good way, and I frequently sleep very well
- I have a free week of Plus membership (premium locker room) then I will buy an annual membership
Activity goals for this week: 60,000 steps, 25 miles, 450 active minutes, 6 days at the gym
1 - went to the gym on 25 of the 31 days (free one-month membership well used)
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My Starting Weight: ~364
My goal: 252
Current Weight: 341- before Christmas I had reached 325 as a lowest weight
What's Working: At the moment, not a lot, weight loss wise! I haven't truly been on track since before Christmas, and haven't even tried since I went on holiday in May. Today was the first time stepping on the scale in at least 2 months. Life this year has been busier than I've ever known it. Gone are the days of spending every evening and weekend sat on the sofa glued to the TV. I started a new career in January, which I am still learning. In fact I've found myself signed up to a whole bunch of training programmes over the next 12 months - Strategic Finance, Research Management, a very high profile and CV-enhancing sector-specific Leadership Programme - plus a distance learning (but time-limited) degree-level module "just for fun" (haha!) The Strategic Finance is targeted waaaay above my pay grade so I don't know how I was accepted! And the Leadership one is insanely competitive to get a place so I never expected that application to be accepted either! Outside of work, we're in the (very long) process of a major clear out, literally going through the whole house with a fine-toothed comb. We are going out and doing things and taking trips. I'm being more active, whether that's monthly hiking trips, occasional swimming, weekly tai chi classes, or just housework. But my eating.....oh dear! I haven't planned a menu in months, and although I've done reasonably well with my choices when we're at home (e.g. meals of home-prepped/cooked meat and veg with little or no carb, and overwhelmingly steering clear of takeaways) we've also eaten out a fair bit, and snacked a LOT.
What Needs Work: Planning! Control! A long term view!
As I said above, I've done much, much better than usual at eating reasonably well (for main meals at home anyway) even without a plan. Historically, a lack of planning has meant a lot of takeaways and easy but calorie-dense, carb- and fat-heavy meals, and a lack of veg and essential nutrients. I desperately need to get back in that swing. It's really hard to find the time to when life is so busy, but I know full well that it's the thing that works for me!
And if I can get planning back on the agenda, the control will follow. If I take time to plan my food, including snacks, and to prepare what I need to, then it is MUCH easier to stick to it, and to say no to the biscuits and cake in the office, or the bag of sweets from the petrol station, or the OTT meal if we go out.
A long term view is much more difficult to find. My motivation when I started my weight loss journey came from how much I hated my life, how badly I wanted it to change, and the perception of how much easier it would be to make those changes if I was thinner/fitter/healthier. I was trapped in a job I hated, I had just separated from my husband, I was very alone and isolated and trapped in some quite horrible circumstances. Now, my life is pretty great. I've reconciled with my husband and the change in our relationship is huge. I've started a new career and I am enjoying it so far. I'm out living life, including travelling and being reasonably active. I have friends I can count on. So I no longer have that desperate drive to make the change. Life is good even with all this weight I'm carrying. Things would admittedly be easier without it, especially travelling and such - but I'm managing to do these things as it is so there's no longer that same push. I don't have (and don't plan to have) kids, so there's none of the motivation that so many people find there. I don't struggle to find clothes (quite the opposite - as my husband will confirm!) My weight is not causing any health problems - and although I'm well aware that that statement comes with a huge *YET* at the end of it, it's too intangible and removed a concept to give me the motivation that I logically know it should.
If anyone has any advice on how to find - and keep! - motivation on such a long journey, I would welcome your thoughts!
I've found my way back here a little bit randomly. The other day I was trying to encourage my husband not to buy expensive and environmentally-nightmarish individual yoghurt pots for his lunches, so I made a batch of yoghurt over the weekend (no disposable plastic involved!) - which led to me potting some up for my own lunch today, with oats and chia and fruit. I guess I thought, if I'm going to have even a week of healthier lunches (instead of buying lunch in the canteen) I want to know what effect that has, so I weighed in this morning. I did NOT expect to wind up back on the boards, but here I am!
And yikes that's a long post.....sorry!2
