Help!

Jerdtrmndone

Ok I need to let it out. Any advice may be helpful.
As most know I am a lifetime member losing 110 lbs. 77 with WW. in 2005. I did this on the winning pts. program Stupidly I I trashed my books. I have been trying to lose but I'm failing.
I have gained 50 lbs.I can not exercise much due to my back and knee problems I can do the pool but I don't.
My wife has kidney failure stage 5. She refuses dialysis. she fills fine but is gods hands now and I am scared of losing her. We will be married 45yrs. and together 49 yrs. This is very hard on me she tells me to go to the pool.
I am doing WW online but I'm just struggling. I eat in portion control and weigh/measure everything. I do eat pt. foods such as steak/potatoes but also portion control. I get 30 pts. daily 42 wkly.

Al_Howard

Are you being careful with the zero point foods? Fruit is a big trap for many of us.

Jerdtrmndone

I journal all my foods. I have to many pt. foods I eat. for instance noodles slice or2 of pizza etc.

Calvin2008Brian

I thought I'd responded, but my message must not have gone through from my phone.

First, I'm so sorry to learn of the situation with your wife. It's hard to imagine how difficult that must be for you both.

About WW: I find Freestyle difficult unless zero point foods are part of every meal. Your 30 daily points are 6 more than I'm getting, though. Do you routinely use the 30 and dip into weeklies?

About activity: when you go to the pool, are you swimming laps or doing a class or something else? My idea would just be to switch it up and do something new/different at the pool.

Jerdtrmndone

Calvin,I do dip into my weeklies always.
When I was doing the pool I would swim laps about 5. I have done some low key water exercises. I have not been to the pool in a while. I just can not find the motivation to go.

myallforjcbill

I am sorry to hear about our wife's health. That is a struggle I can't begin to imagine. But through it all, taking care of yourself will better enable you to take care of her. I know you don't have the motivation for the pool but go anyway. It will be good for you physically and emotionally. Put your stuff in a bag by the door the night before. Set a goal to just drive over to the pool dip your toe in. Baby steps count first. I just signed up to go back to daily WW meetings rather than my monthly one to help me stay focused and be more accountable during some health issues I am working through. I committed to a nurse to give it a try for several months. About to head out soon, though motivation is low, really low. I do it for my overall health. I am getting used to Freestyle, though it takes some work right now to avoid the pitfalls, like last nights beer. First one in months.

countcurt

You raise two distinct issues. The bigger issue relates to handling all that is going on in your life right now. And it’s a lot. The question you’ll need to answer is “what are my top 3 priorities?” THis is critical because you can’t address every need in your life right now. Start with three. That may be the right number. Focus on those. If you’re still overwhelmed, drop one. If you contain/control/resolve one, pick another.

The second relates to the mechanics of weight loss. Sadly, there is only one answer to this: eat less. It’s very possible the structure of the Winning Points program worked better for you. I get that; I find Momentum to be easier than any of the iterations that have come out since then. Keep in mind, though, that it’s been 13 years since you did Winning Points and your body has changed due to the natural process of aging. So even if you were to switch to WP, it’s not a given that you’d find it more successful than Freestyle.

Finally, I’d eliminate the concept of motivation from your toolkit. It’s a very unreliable tool. No matter how motivated you might be in the abstract, intermittent moments of unmotivation can completely destroy your weight loss efforts.

minimyzeme

Hey Jerry--sorry to hear of your ongoing challenges stemming from your wife's condition. That would be a really tough thing (fear) to face on a daily basis. I think you've gotten some good advice and suggestions above. I have two thoughts.

If possible, I wonder if a change in perspective might help. Years ago I had a loved one with a terminal diagnosis. Like your wife, they actually felt pretty good at the time. I spent a lot of time in fear and 'pre-grieving' the loss until it dawned on me one day I was wasting the time they had left. I was so sad thinking of the pending loss that I wasn't spending a lot of quality time with them. I knew I would grieve when they were gone but I realized I was grieving in the time I could have been spending time with them, doing things that made happier memories. I don't mean to make light of your situation but if there's anything here that makes sense to you, maybe a shift in perspective can help.

On a related note, maybe visits with a therapist, counselor, clergy, etc. can help with some of the emotional turmoil you're describing. Maybe you're already doing that. If not, I can tell you I've found them to be helpful from time to time in my life.

I hope you find some relief and can lighten your load in mind, body and spirit just a bit.

Best to you...

Jerdtrmndone

A special Thank You to each of you on your views. They are inspiring and helpful to me in my time of struggles.

beachwoman2006

I wish I still had my Winning Points materials! I also lost the majority of my weight (55 of the 70 pounds) with Winning Points.

I'm sorry to hear about your wife

GavinFlynn1

I’m sorry to hear about your wife.

I agree with the suggestions to choose three areas to focus on, and to disregard motivation as a tool.

Jerdtrmndone

Thank You Cindy and Gavin