Long time lurker and mostly a liker as supporter... First time poster here!
I have lost weight before, and once using this app. In fact, I lost 120 lbs and was at my lowest this time last year. Since then, I've gained back 40 lbs and I'm still gaining...
I have always struggled with eating - always scared it's my last good meal, I won't get more food, I'll be hungry, I'll be unsatisfied if I don't have enough food, etc. It was a eat now eat fast pace at dinner time when I was a kid. My entire family is overweight. We learned terrible eating habits.
I am an emotional eater. I eat because I feel bad, because I'm lonely, because I miss food, because it makes me feel good. I eat when I'm full. I eat myself beyond full.
I know what to do. I know how to lose. I just can't break the hurting myself cycle of shoveling food into my mouth and not thinking about it. I crave it, it calls me, it is all I can think about, I zero in and focus on it and have to have it. I just can't get past this and start losing again.
I self sabotage myself each day. I wake up with the best of intentions, I try really hard, then something derails me and suddenly I'm 2000 cals over my goal.
I don't know how to get myself out of this. I'm back up to 220 lbs and I HATE how I look, how I feel, I'm wasting so much money on bigger clothing, I feel uncomfortable and like a loser. How do I get out of this cycle? What can I do to break it for real?
Thank you for listening.