Struggling with emotional issues after returning to LCHF

mmultanen

@Violet_Flux how did the higher carb day go?

Violet_Flux

@Shadioutwo thanks for that link. We aren't on any psychiatric meds,but it was good to read. We follow that Dr on twitter, she's really good.

@mmultanen I guess it went well lol. We sure ate enough carbs to last a week or so. Thanks for asking!

Never did make the cookies though lol. We saw a friend last week and she gave a gingerbread house kit to one of the young ones as a late xmas gift. So they made that yesterday and then ate some of it. Then we got rid of the rest so it won't be hanging around tempting anyone.

We're back into the low carb again today, and so far, so good. Which isn't saying much lol its like half a day or whatever in. But no cravings or whatever so that's nice.

All that trouble the other week with that one part, we think it's been resolved. She had needs which weren't being met or addressed and neglect is a trigger for alot of us. Being denied cookies turned out to just be like the last straw or tip of the iceburg or whatever. It was a symptom, not the main problem.

So we're working with her, and she's found an activity that she wants to do which will hopefully mean she isn't just looking for cookies or sweets so much.

I kinda feel silly that we had this whole thread and stuff cos as it turned out, it had nothing to do with the diet I guess. I mean, only by a roundabout way, lowcarb = no cookies, but cos the problems started right after cutting carbs I guess it made sense to suspect the diet.

But its a learning thing, and we'll try to remember it next time this sort of thing happens. Cos it'll probably happen again and again etc. till everyone has been found and helped and healed and stuff.

Shadioutwo

Violet_Flux wrote: »

@Shadioutwo thanks for that link. We aren't on any psychiatric meds,but it was good to read. We follow that Dr on twitter, she's really good.

@mmultanen I guess it went well lol. We sure ate enough carbs to last a week or so. Thanks for asking!

Never did make the cookies though lol. We saw a friend last week and she gave a gingerbread house kit to one of the young ones as a late xmas gift. So they made that yesterday and then ate some of it. Then we got rid of the rest so it won't be hanging around tempting anyone.

We're back into the low carb again today, and so far, so good. Which isn't saying much lol its like half a day or whatever in. But no cravings or whatever so that's nice.

All that trouble the other week with that one part, we think it's been resolved. She had needs which weren't being met or addressed and neglect is a trigger for alot of us. Being denied cookies turned out to just be like the last straw or tip of the iceburg or whatever. It was a symptom, not the main problem.

So we're working with her, and she's found an activity that she wants to do which will hopefully mean she isn't just looking for cookies or sweets so much.

I kinda feel silly that we had this whole thread and stuff cos as it turned out, it had nothing to do with the diet I guess. I mean, only by a roundabout way, lowcarb = no cookies, but cos the problems started right after cutting carbs I guess it made sense to suspect the diet.

But its a learning thing, and we'll try to remember it next time this sort of thing happens. Cos it'll probably happen again and again etc. till everyone has been found and helped and healed and stuff.

Please don't feel silly. I think dieting brings up a lot of emotional issues and trauma for many people, especially those of us with a history of disordered eating in the past. We are all here to support one another.
I also struggle with feelings of being deprived due to a history of being put on restricted diets as a child - Keto helps me with that as it's hard to feel deprived when I just had a beautiful coffee with whipped cream and some keto-friendly Hot X Buns for breakfast!

Violet_Flux

Hello friends! Two weeks later and we figured we'd do a little update.

We've been successfully low-carb since January 20th. Total carbs under 40g every day. We aim for net carbs < 20g but don't sweat it if we go over a little. No idea about weight, none of us has had the courage to get on the scale yet lol.

We keep saying we'll get on the scale 'next week'. Someday 'next week' will come! For now though we're just sticking with the WOE and doing our daily cardio.

Some update on the 'crazy' side, in spoiler tags:

So, I am the one who wanted the cookies.

I guess I'm the one who caused all those problems for everyone back in the 2nd week of January. Like Violet said, it wasn't just about cookies, but being denied that was sort of the last straw.

And I had no idea of all this outside stuff. Like literally none at all, that me having a cookie affected her diet / weight / health. I think most on the inside are unaware. They only know their own very limited experience, and for many, that experience is unfortunately just a lot of very bad stuff.

But I'm not there any more - I decided to 'grow up' last week, and I learned all this stuff. It was kind of shocking to learn some of it, and find out that I'm stuck sharing a body with the others, and that we're old and fat lol.

The others were super helpful though and I learned everything I needed, and now I'm 100% on 'team low carb'! I want us to be healthy and fit and look good, as much as the others.

Whoever is 'here' in the morning does the cardio. Usually it's indoor biking on a trainer, but Violet and Viola enjoy that, I hate it. (So. Boring!) I'll do it if there's no other choice, but I'd rather go for a good long walk. I want to learn photography (that's my activity!) so, walking on the trails is a good chance to take pictures of stuff. Once it's warmer and we can cycle outside that might be more fun.

One last thing - 'growing up' was a way of healing, for me. But our experience should not be thought of as the same for everyone with DID, and my experience is not even necessarily going to be repeated with others in our system. Everyone with DID is unique and everyone in a DID system is unique.

Oh and that pack of cookie mix -- it's still unopened. I guess it's there if we 'need' it, but knowing it's there, we don't need it.

KarlaYP

Hi @Violet_Flux it’s great that you’re all secure into low carb now! That must be a relief to all be on the same page and share a common goal for your health!! Congratulations on staying at 40 grams or less! That’s challenging for anyone! More huge kudos for the unopened brownie box too!! That’s a very big accomplishment!

And to the “spoiler” it’s so great to have you on board too! I’m sure your acceptance of this low carb way of life has made things easier for everyone!!

And I’m Karla btw. I don’t think we’ve officially met. I’ve been away from the group forums for a couple of years and have finally found my way back! It’s a pleasure to meet you!

Violet_Flux

Hello @KarlaYP, nice to meet you! We all have different names but collectively we just go with 'Violet'.

Thank you for the kind comments!

I'm sure we'll continue to have challenges, not all of us are committed to health yet (and some are like I was, not even knowing) but as long as we keep learning from these things, hopefully it will be easier to manage next time something comes up.

Shadioutwo

Well done Violet! Great to hear about the positive update!

canadjineh

Hey, Violet! At this rate the cookie mix will be stale in no time . Glad you all seem to be coming together on your health journey.

baconslave

Violet_Flux wrote: »

Hello @KarlaYP, nice to meet you! We all have different names but collectively we just go with 'Violet'.

Thank you for the kind comments!

I'm sure we'll continue to have challenges, not all of us are committed to health yet (and some are like I was, not even knowing) but as long as we keep learning from these things, hopefully it will be easier to manage next time something comes up.

Very proud of all of you! Pursuing health and weight loss is hard enough stuff on its own. You all have extra obstacles on top of that. You are doing great. We are here to cheer you on and support you when you need us.

Violet_Flux

Thank you @Shadioutwo & @canadjineh & @baconslave!

We still haven't found the courage to try the scale yet, but last two days we've started noticing changes in how clothes fit.

And we got some ketostix yesterday, and I just saw a 4mmol/l on there. Pretty sure we aren't dehydrated either as we've had 8 cups of water so far this morning.

Best of all, still no cravings for cookies or chips or other carby things. There have been some cravings for other sweets, but we have sugar-free gum and diet soda, which we can use if necessary.

mmultanen

Delay that scale for a bit. Better to get excited about the changes you're seeing in clothing, and fitness! Or, at least that's what works best for me after a bit away.

Violet_Flux

Well we made it just past 4 weeks before someone snapped and our 'strategic cookie-mix reserve' got raided last night.

We ran out of our 7yo's gum and I was too tired to get more. She took over last night and wanted something sweet, and without her gum she went ahead and made the cookies. She left a note explaining "I didn't eat all the cookies!" but like, she ate most of them. I think she left a couple just so she could say she didn't eat them all.

I'm pretty sure she also knew whatever she didn't eat was going to get thrown out, so she wanted to enjoy them and just left a token amount for us to dispose of.

It's one of the wierder experiences with this DID stuff, like being 'posessed', having someone take over control of 'your' body and do stuff while you're helpless. All you can do is watch, but can't stop them or interfere.

Either that or the alternative - getting 'blacked out' completely so you just wake up later with no idea what's happened while you were out.

Anyways, we're back on track again today, not going to let last night's slip-up derail us from the big picture.

And, we still haven't got near a scale yet, that 'next week' just keeps not getting here.

tcunbeliever

That sounds like every 7 year old I've ever known...they are better than lawyers at finding the loopholes in everything...and truly, she didn't eat them ALL, so give her credit!!!

One splurge in 4 weeks is pretty good adherence!!!

KarlaYP

@Violet_Flux at least the cookie mix settled the snapped one down and you’re back on track! One slip isn’t that bad in the grand scheme of things! I think you’re doing great myself! Plus, being able to stay away from the liar of a scale is awesome!! Good for all of you!! Hugs hun!

mor72

Hi Violet, just to let you know i also have vivid dreams when i am on a very low carb anf so does my husband. If i stay under 20-25 carbs i will get the dreams and trieste kick in easily and makes me moody . I found if i stay around 50-70 carbs i am alright and still losing the weight. I do add salt to all my meals and i only have 1 cup of coffee a day. I do drink plenty of diluted drinks. I also find a walk outside in the natur does me good. Anyway this is what working for me.

Violet_Flux

Hey folks! So its like, almost 3 months since we've been kinda active around here. Figured its time for an update on the 'crazy' stuff, lol.

Unfortunately things haven't been that great, lots of struggles and challenges that had nothing to do with diet. The diet-related bit tho is that we ended up doing a lot of binging. Probably for like, a couple months, but we don't really know.

It wasn't so much like we were eating and it was amnesia'ed away but it was like, we couldn't connect the dots? Or like, 2 + 2 kept equalling 2? Its hard to explain but like, there'd be a cheat and it was like 'ok just this once' but we didn't know that 'this once' was like every other day. And there were good days in between and we'd just like, see times we were good and not realize there were just as many bad ones.

Then like, noticing aches and pains coming back and not realizing it was cos of weight creeping up & carbs causing inflammation. Or even like, balancing the bank account at the end of hte month and being like "oh wierd we spent a bunch of money at (that place) that we shouldn't be buying food from, thats odd."

Till like, 3 weeks ago when the fog lifted and one of us suddenly put it all together and was like "Oh *kittens*!" Only thing we haven't really messed up yet is we still get our activity / excercising done every day.

Then last week we had to see one of our docs and she got us on the scale and that was like, yeah, we knew that was coming and it wasn't as bad as we thought, but it was still pretty bad.

So we're up like, almost 70lbs since the whole breakdown stuff started in Nov 2017. But most of that is the last 10 months, up like 54lbs or something? Like, more than 5lbs a month of gains.

So we've been trying to be strict and stuff again, I think we're at 9 or 10 days now being strict lowcarb again. So maybe the weigh-in last week will help get us all more on board and stuff.

It's still been hard and stuff tho, like some of us are still kinda on the fence about it. Like me, I'm one of the reluctant ones. Hard to stay focused on making the body healthy when you don't really feel any connection to it. Like, I look in the mirror and that's not me, so why do I care about that?

But they got me trying for now too. We'll see how it goes I guess. I'm usually around one or two days a week so we know if I'm not cooperating it'll mess up the whole thing for everyone.

Anyways, they all figured it was time for an update and since we've already let the crazy out in this thread we figured to just keep it all here in one place lol.

tcunbeliever

Welcome back, it's so nice to get an update from you!!!

brenn24179

welcome back, I will have to read up on carb cycling, I lost my weight on 100 gr of carbs or less which worked for me, got me some carbs anyway. I was gone 2 months and tried to just log and not watch carbs, didn't work, glad to be back.

Violet_Flux

Hey thanks @tcunbeliever & @brenn24179!

Today's gonna be a tough one... Did our workout 1st thing in the morning & got most of our work done, and now it's like, just kinda long boring day with lotsa temptations to eat.

We got lots of lowcarb food in the house, but it's like, tempting to eat cos boredom or go for a walk and end up getting junkfood at the 7-11 around the corner.

Trying to stay 'good' tho, and the others got activities on the weekend so we won't be bored tomorrow or sunday.

canadjineh

Nice to see you Violet_Flux! It's the trying that counts, and hopefully looking forward to the activities planned will help keep some of you out of trouble Just know we are all here for you no matter what!

Violet_Flux

Thanks @canadjineh!

I think we're gonna get through the day without blowing it. Managed to avoid the temptations & keep myself busy, and got a good lowcarb dinner planned.

GammieLCHF

If it were me I would try three things:
1. Work out an hour before bed, hard.
2. Take chamomile tea, have the tv off an hour before bed, turn off electric lights at night (use candles), take a hot shower - all the little tricks for getting yourself ready for bed.
3. Try a melatonin supplement, or take Benadryl.