Reflections...and motivation

minimyzeme

I met some of my siblings for dinner out last night. Being a little Type-A-ish, I arrived early and waited in the car for the rest of them to show. It looked like the March of the Penguins as person after person waddled in. And I say that having been a penguin before. It never bothered me when I was, but last night it was a striking image--and made me really appreciate life in a smaller body. It also helped me order and eat a reasonable meal that was pretty consistent with my weight management objectives--a 'souped-up' chicken sandwich that I ate without the bun, coleslaw in oil and vinegar-based dressing and a couple bites of someone else's coconut cream pie.

If you ever need a little motivation to stay on your plan, it might be worth just watching people head into the restaurant before you go in yourself.

imastar2

@minimyzeme Kim...You are so on target with this conversation. As a waddler myself I to have sat waiting for a table and watched people come in. Moreover as I and DW sat at our table we watched the people who least needed a deep fried onion bunion (or whatever names given by various restaurants) as an appetizer then followed by everything fried heaped on the plates such as fried chicken tenders and a huge order of French fries. Not a green item or vegetable in site.

Not to condemn them but only to make note that I have done the same thing in years past. I really don't have much more to say about the subject except that I need to be sure and keep a mindset that those choices will surely lead to obesity if not curtailed.🙂

podkey

Exactly. I too have that emotion when I see others but hey there but for my current lifestyle go I. After that I drop the emotion as I have no clue where someone is in their life and lifestyle.
It can be motivation.

Jerdtrmndone

It reminds me also of myself When I was just under 300 lbs. I am in no way out of the woods from being obese but I am in a better place even though I still struggle with the weight I am at 250 lbs.
Kim this was a good topic just to make me realize I need to try harder because I still have struggles.
Derrick we will get to the right place have confidence in your self

minimyzeme

I'm with all you guys. I forgot to mention the restaurant leaned toward Italian--lots of pasta dishes. I think back on how many bowlfuls of pasta I routinely ate--more at home than out--and it's a little mind-boggling.

As I often say, for me this weight management is as much head game, if not more than anything else. If I can stay mindful, I can usually convince myself to act according to my weight management objectives. The ten or so minutes I spent watching people heading into the restaurant helped keep my mind in the game. Little things can make a big difference...

Keep the faith, gents. One day at a time...

gadgetgirlIL

@minimyzeme - I find going out into just about any public venue these days motivation for staying at a healthy weight. I say "there but for the grace of God go I" a LOT. I see plenty of examples of how I would be struggling to get around if I still weighed 300+ pounds at my age (57).

Al_Howard

I agree. I find myself "fat shaming" in my head. I realize some people have underlying health issues which contribute to obesity, but, for most of us (at least me), it's a pure case of over eating.

Jimb376mfp

After being most of my adult life being Large, Larger, then Morbidly Obese I now look inside my head when I see others where I used to be. I try not to judge but thoughts go through my head.
The most obvious thing I now noticed is the size of people I have watched on TV. When I see the football broadcasts and I see extremely tight suit coats I noticed “ He is big!” The young overweight actress on This is Us makes me worried about her health, Fo they know they are overweight? YES JUST LIKE I KNEW IT FOR YEARS!

I don’t plan on backsliding but know how easy it would be to not work at maintaining a WW Lifestyle
Seeing others make me realize that was me and could be again IF I don’t realize there is No Finish Line.

linmueller

This thread reminds me of a time I was cruising. I was working hard to stay on program, or at least make the better choice and exercise. I was sitting at a table on the Promenade deck, sipping my one glass of wine and people watching. I started to notice two things, there were a lot of overweight people, and that a lot of them didn't look at their backside when they chose their outfit (yes, I know that's really judgemental/unkind, but it was so true). I started to count the number of healthy weight/slightly overweight people verses the number of obviously obese people. I counted a couple hundred and there were 6 obviously obese for every 10 I counted. I was amazed! and it helped me continue to make the better choice the rest of the trip, knowing that I was in that number, not that long before, and could easily get there again.

minimyzeme

I agree with all of you; we've all been there. I'm a big believer in the 'persistence not perfection' mantra. I think one of the biggest benefits of sticking with this as long as I have is that the things that used to be huge temptations that used to "win"--that I would eat are just not the attractions they used to be. I feel like I came out of 'auto-pilot' and am now operating from a much more conscious and aware head space.

I totally get that the whole intake of food is complex and often has nothing to do with hunger. I try not to judge others but take in my observations and let it guide me. If I'm mindful, it usually helps.

steve0mania

I get the idea of being "motivated" in this setting, but it somehow feels cruel to judge others and use that judgement to motivate one's self.

I won't claim the higher ground on this, because I am working on being less "judge-y."

With that said, I think having internal reasons for wanting to do something is a stronger motivator than working to be superior to others.

Jimb376mfp

@steve0mania

I know when I see
“There but the grace of God...”

Lucky to have made some good choices. Better late than never.

88olds

Looking at extremely overweight folks leaves me sad. It’s just not necessary.

My last meeting leader introduced what I found to be a disturbing concept- normal. She started wondering aloud if this or that WL behavior was normal.

I tracked for 5 years. Normal? Take a look around. Is that what you want for yourself?

linmueller

steve0mania wrote: »

I get the idea of being "motivated" in this setting, but it somehow feels cruel to judge others and use that judgement to motivate one's self.

I won't claim the higher ground on this, because I am working on being less "judge-y."

With that said, I think having internal reasons for wanting to do something is a stronger motivator than working to be superior to others.

I can only speak for myself, but here goes.

I'm not judging others, when I'm motivated by seeing them, it is because I was them and I don't want to go back. I'm reminded of how easily I can gain and of the choices I need to make to lose.

When I see morbidly obese people, I'm also saddened by the limitations their weight puts on them and the circumstances that got many of them to that point.

And as for my back side comment, I always find it sad when someone's loved ones or so called don't tell them that their bottom is hanging out of their short skirt, or their underwear is sticking out, or they have something on their face, or something between their teeth for that matter. We need to look out for each other.

And the motivation has nothing to do with being superior to an obese person! That's ridiculous! Weight does not change value any more than sexual orientation, politics or values.

And lastly, realizing that an environment is populated by more obese people than average/slim people is a good indicator that I need to take extra care about how much I'm eating. But that's just me. 🤷

gadgetgirlIL

@linmueller - thank you for your post. You said what I was thinking much more eloquently than I could have when I saw that "superior to others" post.

My mother struggled terribly in her older years due to her weight. I have nothing but compassion for her lifelong struggles with food and most likely depression. She struggled to walk down the aisle at my wedding and wasn't able to dance with my father at the reception. They had met through square dancing and dancing was something they enjoyed immensely when I was growing up. I know she felt sad that she couldn't dance any more. She dropped dead 3 years later, most likely from heart problems that she wasn't telling my father nor me about.

When I see older obese women, I see my mother and my heart breaks for their struggles. And I know that I was headed down the same path as my mother but somehow finally got my act together when I turned 50. And even though I've been a normal weight since 2012, I will never be cured and I know that I could relapse in the face of extremely stressful situations because food is always my fix for stress.

minimyzeme

I'm with both of you, @linmueller and @gadgetgirlIL .

linmueller

Thanks @gadgetgirlIL and @minimyzeme . I was hoping my second post didn't come off defensive. I just really felt like I hadn't explained myself very well in the first one and was feeling a bit misjudged. Thought it was worth a clarification

And @gadgetgirlIL , you see your mom, I see myself. Either way, I'll take the motivation any way I can get it (short of at the expense of others). And you expressed yourself very eloquently!