"Dieting" forever

linmueller

I didn't want to hijack Steve's post ... He got me thinking when he said,

"It's clear that one can't simply "diet" for a while, lose weight, and then go back to their old style of eating, or else they'll simply gain all of their weight back"

Why is it that some people just eat "normal" and get fat? Better yet, why do some eat "normal"" and stay slim? Or do they? People whose weight is always stable and in healthy range, do they consciously monitor their eating, is it habit, genetics? Thoughts?

gadgetgirlIL

Maybe those people truly are eating just for fuel. I too often eat to soothe rough emotions. There is a disconnect between my physical needs and my desire for mental calmness.

And those people are the ones that I observe who will take a bite or two of a dessert and then ignore the rest of it. That does not compute in my brain!

Jerdtrmndone

When I lost 110 ls. in eight months I was eating 99% healthy foods and exercising 1 hr. 3days a wk. and swimming an hour couple days. Now gaining 60 lbs. not eating healthy and low key exercises it is hard to lose. When I was in my early 20's I was 130 lbs. and then I had to go onto predisone then the weight piled on eating a gallon of ice cream a day gaining to 298 lbs.

myallforjcbill

linmueller wrote: »

Why is it that some people just eat "normal" and get fat? Better yet, why do some eat "normal"" and stay slim? Or do they? People whose weight is always stable and in healthy range, do they consciously monitor their eating, is it habit, genetics? Thoughts?

What is normal and who defines it? There was a time when I changed my normal for years. Life intervened aka crashed in on me and I went back to my old normal. This has happened more than once, unfortunately. I think there are influences. Weight Watchers was one, GoaD is one, genetics may have a silent voice, life's crap was certainly is one and often the loudest. But in the end I think we get to decide our normal. I think I am learning that it is important we understand these voices are out there, deal with them when necessary, but continue to strive to define and adjust our normal. We have to own it.

steve0mania

I think we fool ourselves often. We believe that there are folks who can eat whatever they want and maintain a healthy weight. However, we are not monitoring them 24/7, and I bet in most cases those individuals maintain a good balance behind the scenes, eat less when we don't watch them, exercise well, etc.

My wife is a good example. She always seemed "naturally thin," but I came to appreciate that she balances large meals with modest meals, exercises, etc. She just doesn't make a big deal about it! Ha ha!

linmueller

Thanks for the thoughts. As I thought about people I considered 'naturally thin', I realized every one of them monitors what they eat, but like @steve0mania said, they don't make a big deal of it. One friend ate a candy bar and cup of coffee for breakfast every work day. I couldn't understand how she maintained her weight, until I realized that when she went out, she never ate her whole meal (she'd cut her burger in half and pass the other half to her DH). She also would skip meals, and rarely snack. Another tiny friend mentioned she's rather we meet for breakfast because she doesn't like to eat that heavy for lunch. And my "NT" DH, will often skip a meal or cut back on carbs fora few weeks to get down to where he's comfortable. I'm beginning to thing there is no such thing as being thin without being conscious of what we eat. And if that's the case, whatever happened to our internal signal that we have had enough food.

At first I was discouraged by these thoughts. I really wanted to think that one day I would arrive and just stay thin (first I have to get there, of course) without all the effort. But on second thought, there is encouragement in the thought that everybody is in the same boat. For me, it's important that I put a positive spin on it!

I do think there is a small population that, like @gadgetgirlIL mentioned, who eat for fuel. Honestly tho, I don't think I know any of them.

Al_Howard

Wikipedia:
In nutrition, diet is the sum of food consumed by a person or other organism. The word diet often implies the use of specific intake of nutrition for health or weight-management reasons. Although humans are omnivores, each culture and each person holds some food preferences or some food taboos. This may be due to personal tastes or ethical reasons. Individual dietary choices may be more or less healthy.

So, DIET is what you consume. We tend to think of it as a four letter word for deprivation. Am I going to be on a "diet" forever? Sure.
Am I planning on a painful deprivation? No! As already mentioned, some of successful applications, such as skipping a meal or eating half a meal, allow a person to "splurge" on something else. Sounds like what many of us do already. (Some at/below "goal" and some, like me, not so much.)

linmueller

Point taken Al, but ...

verb
1.
restrict oneself to small amounts or special kinds of food in order to lose weight.

That would be the definition I'm referring to. And if I want to be slim, I'm quite certain I'll be doing it forever 🤷

88olds

My last ML started talking about normal. Was this or that thing associated with eating or weight loss normal? I didn’t like it. I tracked for 5 years, attended meetings for 10+ years without breaking the monthly streak. Never had a WI over GW+2. Normal? Don’t care.

I’ve noticed some of my “naturally thin” friends start to gain a bit when they hit 50.
One time one of my oldest and best friends who was in the “naturally thin” camp started complaining what a pain in the neck he thought it was to stop what he was doing to eat. He’s still thin.

I made goal fall of 2006. This year I started thinking that I won’t regain any significant amount unless I lose my mind.

But know what? You ask me at any point in the day how many calories I’ve consumed, I can probably give a good estimate.

linmueller

@88olds I agree, there is something irritating about classifying something as "normal". That's why i put it in quotes. I just couldn't come up with another word, just lots of run on thoughts, so i went with it.

I WISH I found it to be a pain to stop to eat. But I also want to enjoy yummy foods 🤷

And interesting that you still"track", if only in your head. I am not that honest with myself, a work in progress tho for sure.

minimyzeme

Why is it that some people just eat "normal" and get fat? Better yet, why do some eat "normal"" and stay slim? Or do they? People whose weight is always stable and in healthy range, do they consciously monitor their eating, is it habit, genetics? Thoughts?

Maybe the behavior and more importantly the perception of how "normal" it is, depends to some degree on the perception of the participant relative to how much of a "fight" it is. I've noticed over the years that the majority of people lament the foods they have to give up (or cut way back on). I think as long as this is the prevailing mindset, the adherence to a diet seems like a burden and "not normal".

My experience has been a little different in that the driving reason for joining WW in the first place hasn't changed--except I've appreciated what success I've achieved thus far. That gives me motivation and encouragement to continue making healthier choices. That's become my new normal (I still remember my old normal--and honestly in sum and total it wasn't all that satisfying). My new normal still allows for occasional indulgences so I don't usually feel deprived or like all those skinny people have a better life than me. In fact, I barely give others any thought--one way or another. I've learned to stop wondering what their scene is--too many variables and certainly not my monkey..or circus. I do me and let them do them.

88olds

My head is subject to point creep. I’ve tracked on MFP here and there. Calorie creep now I guess.

Because I eat the same stuff a lot, I’ve crunched the numbers for most everything. It’s just a matter of recalling what I’ve done today. I can still manage that a lot of the time.

jasper60103

I know I will have to live this lifestyle forever.
I'm a creature of habit so tracking comes fairly easy, and
so does getting exercise.
I tend to go over on intake when on vacation or the holiday season, and I'm
aware that I will have to pay later.
Even though I hate FreeStyle it does work when I need
to shed a few pounds.

Al_Howard

Haiku?

linmueller

@minimyzeme (" I barely give others any thought--one way or another. I've learned to stop wondering what their scene is--too many variables and certainly not my monkey..or circus. I do me and let them do them.") I hear what you're saying, but I have a lot to learn, and I figure the best way to learn is from those who seem to have this maintaining thing down. Hopefully I can learn some things that will help me to re frame my relationship with food.

@88olds I also suffer from point creep, portion creep, memory loss (about what I've eaten) and mindless bites/tastes. Because of this, I really believe I'll need to at least track a majority of the time.

@jasper60103 creating good habits is exactly what I'm working toward. Last week was brutal (the polar vortex and being housebound made it so difficult). This week I seem to have turned the corner. I've got some serious work to make exercise a habit, and I can't wait until I can say I "need to shed a few pounds.

@Al_Howard no thank you

And thank you all for you your thoughts! I feel like I've made serious progress in how I feel about 'having' to monitor my food and beverage consumption for as long as I desire to manage my weight. It really doesn't seem so daunting anymore! So again, thank you all so much, I really appreciate it!!!

And sorry if I don't always express myself clearly, causing confusion. Sometimes the thoughts are just swirling around up there and it's hard to organize them.

88olds

I joined WW and started tracking. Made goal, Lifetime, kept tracking for 5 years. Every week. Used those little blue books.

I stopped because I was ready for a test without and because WW overhauled the system in a way that jacked up all of my math. I struggled to adjust for reasons I don’t recall.

But when the scale would start creeping up, I’d go back. One time that meant learning Points Plus, a pain. But tracking has worked every time I’ve done it.

minimyzeme

linmueller wrote: »

@minimyzeme (" I barely give others any thought--one way or another. I've learned to stop wondering what their scene is--too many variables and certainly not my monkey..or circus. I do me and let them do them.") I hear what you're saying, but I have a lot to learn, and I figure the best way to learn is from those who seem to have this maintaining thing down. Hopefully I can learn some things that will help me to re frame my relationship with food.

@linmueller , I didn't mean my statement as a suggestion to "shut down" your inquiry. I just meant as someone who's been on the path for a few years, that the temptation to compare for me just doesn't yield useful results. We are all so different and the little glimpse we get of each other in this forum or elsewhere isn't (in my opinion) sufficient basis for comparison. That said, I do understand the basis for your question.

My response was to share part of my strategy having practiced LT for a few years now: control what I can; don't worry about the rest. Each day I do that, I know I'm healthier than I was, regardless of what the scale says.

lowbar31

My father in-law truly eats to live while so many of us live to eat. His normal is not my normal. For me to maintain my desired weight I'll have to monitor what I eat always. There is no finish line.

linmueller

@minimyzeme I think our difference is in terminology. I'm not "comparing", I'm trying to learn. To say I compare myself to others has a lot of negative connotations. Like I wanna be someone else, I'm not happy with who God made me, I covet what they have (tho that one may be true in that I'd like to be someone with effortless self control). All of these make me feel defensive. Sorry, just who I am 🤷‍♀️ And I'm happy for you that you've got it figured out (at least for now). I wish you much success on maintenance! (Absolutely NO sarcasm intended!)

@lowbar31 I always think I'd like to be a person who eats to live, but then when I think about it, it seems like there would not be as much enjoyment of food (maybe that's not true, but it's my perception). And I like food!

GavinFlynn1

This has been a great thread for me. I’m currently brain dead, so I don’t have much to contribute, but I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s thoughts.

myallforjcbill

I'm with Gavin on this

linmueller

Thanks @GavinFlynn1 and @myallforjcbill ! For me too! I'm feeling much less sorry for myself then when I started it LOL