The "on-switch"

steve0mania

It has often been said that one has to be ready to lose weight to be successful at losing weight. Sometimes we are simply not in the right mind-set to do what it takes, and so weight loss becomes a second-tier process in our minds, and of course, we mostly end up "wishing the weight off."

What is that flips the "on-switch" for weight loss? Why are we sometimes mentally ready to do the hard work, and other times, chocolate cake is more important?

I know a lot of folks have had health-issues, and that's been an important driver. However, looking at my own experience, I floated around at my highest weight for years, until finally one-day the "on-switch" got flipped and I took control of that aspect of my life.

I guess I'm not looking for stories as much as I am looking for an explanation of the underlying psychology (feel free to use stories, however, as a way to better explain the psychology).

Discuss...

Al_Howard

PCP saying "you're diabetic". Had been "pre" for a number of years, but this was the "on switch" for me. A1c is now 5.0-5.3

minimyzeme

steve0mania wrote: »

What is that flips the "on-switch" for weight loss? Why are we sometimes mentally ready to do the hard work, and other times, chocolate cake is more important?

Discuss...

I feel like I had two "on switches". The first underlying one was the one that finally landed me solidly in WW to begin with. I'd "thought about weight loss" for at least a couple years before joining. I knew WW was out there the whole time. All I can think it that I just hadn't admitted to myself at I needed help to make it work.

With the help of GOAD, shortly after joining WW, I realized the structure WW provided gave me a significant missing piece to help me accomplish my goals. I also realized I didn't have to be on the "diet" 100% of the time to lose weight. I gave myself a mental 10% buffer, knowing that if I stuck to it 90% of the time, I'd be so much better off than pre-WW.

The combination of those two things helped me flip that switch to get me started and not feel like it was an undoable journey.

Then there's the daily switch, or more specifically, the intake-by-intake switch (it's not always a meal and I can easily go sideways in a snacking feeding frezny). This takes signficant mindfulness for me. A great example is dinner out last night with family. I sort of knew it was coming but things were up in the air so no more than generic pre-planning (limit calorie intake during the day). We ended up at a Greek restaurant . No problem for me to choose a Greek salad with grilled chicken. Then...desserts. There were four people, two slices of frosted cake were ordered. I mindfully chose to have about three small bites of the cakes--with frosting, full-on cake. Full on enjoyment but when done, put my fork down and worked in letting that be enough. Had I not been as mindful, that right there would have lured me into eating a whole piece. That wouldn't have been the end of the world, but I know now it's really not my preference. With mindfulness at work, switch was on and I was able to find "the sweet spot" to allow for some enjoyment without the setback. This time, having the switch working allowed me success for that moment, and some motivation to keep it going for the next challenging piece.

Philtex

steve0mania wrote: »

I am looking for an explanation of the underlying psychology (feel free to use stories, however, as a way to better explain the psychology).

Discuss...

I believe it comes down to a hierarchy of what is important to each of us. You could look at it like the straw that broke the camel's back. For me it was the realization that any more weight and I would have to shop in 'Big & Tall' stores or departments. I realize that my on-switch was not as critical as say a medical reason, but maybe I just reached the tipping point before getting to such a place. Timing is an important element too. For me, my employer was starting a free WW at work group.

steve0mania

minimyzeme wrote: »

All I can think it that I just hadn't admitted to myself at I needed help to make it work.

*This* was a major thing for me. I wanted to lose weight for a long time, but I'd make a half-hearted attempt to maybe have a salad here and there, but that was it. After a few years of that I had resigned myself to the idea that I would always be a heavy guy and that there was nothing I could do to change it. I felt really bad about myself and how I looked, particularly after all of those failed "pseudo-attempts" to lose weight.

There was an "event" for me, which was not quite medical. It was the Wii we bought for the kids. I stepped on the balance board and it called me overweight and it gave me a fat-looking avatar. Yeah, I knew I was overweight, but I had never been called-out on it. That was a slap in the face.

That was the moment I realized I needed help. Outside help. Professional help. Someone/something who could guide me. I was willing to place my lose-weight plan into someone else's hands. That was a real epiphany, and it took a major shift in my self-image to know that I wasn't strong-enough, or smart-enough, or determined-enough, or whatever-enough, to do it myself.

In so many ways it was a pride thing. Once I broke through the pride-barrier, it was (somewhat) easy. I walked into the first WW meeting as the only guy in a roomful of women, figured out the plan, and pushed on through it.

This was the first psychological issue that I had to deal with. If/when I have time later, I want to put some thought into my latest attempt to take off the regained 10-15 pounds.

Jerdtrmndone

Yes you must want to lose weight to be successful. It took e along time to get to that point successfully losing 100 lbs. but once I turned that switch of thinking I would be ok the weight came back on but I got the switch turned on again watching my dailey expenditure ond calorie eaten and I am slowly losing again. That's about the closest to phycology I come.

linmueller

I have no idea! The first time it flipped, around 2013, I just decided one day and was at the next WW meeting I could make. And I loved my new leader! Felt like there was definitely a reason I was in her meeting! But absolutely nothing specific happened to make me join initially.

This time, I was starting to 'think about' going back to WW, and a friend who I worked the program with last time, announced he was going back. I decided right there that if there was a convenient meeting I could make, I'd rejoin. Since I moved 'out in the sticks' I thought the odds weren't good. Turns out the only meeting within 25 min drive is a block from my house. I took that as confirmation that it was time.

Sorry, I know that was stories, but i didn't know how else to explain. Bottom line, I have no idea what flipped the switch in the first place either time, but having my decision confirmed made me feel I was doing what I was supposed to, when I was supposed to, and THAT is everything to me.

If I understood the mechanism behind that elusive switch, I'd write a book!

steve0mania

Looping back to provide some thoughts about my latest effort to lose weight.

I know I said "no stories," but here's a story to help explain what turns out to be a long-term struggle.

A few years ago I ran into a major challenge at my prior job. A lot of it was my fault, but in addition to falling partway down the stairs, I had managed to throw myself down the rest of the stairs, so to speak. I was planning on leaving that job and had another job lined up. To make a long story short, after I was done setting fire to all of the bridges at my job, that new job fell through at the last minute. I felt as though my career was over and there was no way to recover. I did my best to patch things up, but it was really too little too late.

I was both sad at the loss, angry at myself for my stupidity, and angry at folks who I thought were my friends but who weren't able or willing to stand by me (for understandable reasons).

I felt very sorry for myself, and that led down a path of "soothing" myself every day with wine or beer, maybe some extra food, etc. You know the story.

That self-soothing process went on for a long time...even after I managed to pull my career back on track, land a new (better) job, and ultimately move to a new city that was much better for my family.

But...I had established a set of habits that weren't the most useful.

It's actually surprising that I managed to keep my weight under my WW goal, but 10-15 pounds above my personal target weight.

For a while I've been thinking that my alcohol intake, while not "destructive," was certainly not helpful. I began feeling bad about myself every morning and it seemed like every day I would resolve to skip having a glass of wine that day, only to find myself sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in my hand.

I am generally not one to make New Year's resolutions, but this year I decided that I was going to go back to an old plan of mine, which was to limit alcohol to the weekend only (and ultimately, to Friday/Saturday). At the same time, I realized that every time I tried to limit alcohol, I would make up for it by having snacks at night instead. I was simply replacing one habit with another. As such, I also resolved that I was going to break the evening snacking habit. Finally, I resolved that I was going to restart my running again, and go back through the Couch to 5K program.

So, why was this time different and how did the switch get flipped? I think I felt like I had simply lost control of this aspect of my life. To be fair, I continued to maintain my weight, but I hate the feeling that I have no control over things. I guess I decided that I needed to take back control. If I was taking back control, it made sense to set a useful and personally-important goal: to get back to my target weight.

There's definitely some "white-knuckling" along the way, to remind myself that I made a plan to avoid weekday alcohol and snacks entirely, and that if I just keep eating three proper meals a day and get some exercise in, that good things would happen.

So, I'm 5-6 pounds down from January 1st, I'm on week 7 of the C25K program, and I am feeling in better control. I forgot how good it feels to feel good about yourself! It feels like when I first started WW 10 years ago and the weight was coming off at a good pace. What a sense of joy and accomplishment. I guess that helps to reinforce the on-switch!

myallforjcbill

I wish I knew. But I wish I could get away from the "on switch" mentality and just be more steady state living a healthy life with its ups and downs but overall focus.

Jerdtrmndone

Steve that is some story and it's great you found your self- esteem and things turned out from tragic to a better life.

gadgetgirlIL

This is a really good question, one that I've asked myself most of my life.

The first real time the switch got flipped on was Easter Sunday when I was 16. I read some magazine article about calorie counting and decided to give it a try. I lost 40 pounds over the next few months and was back to a normal weight for my height. Had been pushing 208 pounds that previous winter.

The switch didn't stay on and over the next 10 years I regained all that I lost plus more. I was around 279 pounds at age 27 when I caught a glimpse of myself in the polished metal panels in our office elevator. I was horrified at the flab hanging over the waistband of my skirt. I started counting calories and within about 16 months I was back to a normal weight.

I fluctuated for a while and then when work got stressful and the hours got long, the switch got stuck in the off position for many years.

I was up to 304 pounds by the year 2000. Finally in early 2002 I got motivated to finally try counting calories again (I had finally gotten into regularly visiting the gym the previous May when my father went to inpatient rehab to learn to walk again, way too long of a story). By fall of 2003, I was back to a normal weight. I stayed there for a year, then my father's dementia really kicked in and I consoled myself with food. But I never gave up my exercise habit. I was back to 213 pounds by June 2011 when I started WW at Work. I was facing 50, I was exhausted all the time, and my right knee was hurting so much that it was interfering with my job duties. Somehow the switch finally got turned on again and even though it took 6 weeks to lose the first pounds I persevered and then the rest of the pounds came off steadily. I did pay more attention to my diet quality after those first 6 weeks which really made the difference.

I sure hope the switch stays on. I have to think that the longer I keep up my healthy habits, the more ingrained they become. Any transgressions are much shorter in duration than they used to be. I normally am back on plan at the next meal.

jasper60103

I had ballooned up to a size 48 waist before the light switch came ON.
Fortunately about that time a WW at work meeting was started.
I was a little skeptical at first about the program, and being
the only man in the group for a while.
Anyway, I stuck with it and I've been maintaining fairly well.

88olds

Fear.

I hit 285 lbs and thought next stop 300. It was going to happen. 300 and beyond. It scared me.

jasper60103

88olds wrote: »

Fear.

I hit 285 lbs and thought next stop 300. It was going to happen. 300 and beyond. It scared me.

I can relate. I crossed over into 300 land, and I started thinking this is where it has to stop.

Al_Howard

Al_Howard wrote: »

PCP saying "you're diabetic". Had been "pre" for a number of years, but this was the "on switch" for me. A1c is now 5.0-5.3

@jasper60103 I can relate. I was 335# the day of that doctor's visit.