Emotional Eating

linmueller

I've been thinking a lot about emotional eating. We 'eat our feelings' or 'turn to food' when we're stressed, upset, happy, worried etc. And we strive to 'manage' our emotions. Or to control them. And honestly, I've felt some victory in the simple understanding that I am an emotional eater.

BUT, as a person who tends to stuff/stifle my emotions, I'm beginning to wonder if the key is not just in recognizing the problem. I wonder if it is in dealing with the actual emotion, feeling it, processing it, accepting it's existence? If I spent more time understanding why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling, would it take the power away from it?

I don't know, maybe this is a bit too touchy feely LOL. But since I love good food, I sure would love to get a handle on this impulse to overeat it!

So, maybe instead my habit, this time around, of just asking myself "which do I want more, those chips or to be thin?", I should also ask "what emotion is driving me headfirst into that greasy, salty bag of crunchy yumminess?". If knowledge is power, and I believe it is, this could be a real key for long term success for me.

Thoughts?

steve0mania

Good question. I bet that the majority of overweight individuals struggle with emotional eating.

Recognition is a good first step, but as you said, it needs to go beyond that too.

I like your approach of trying to identify the underlying emotion. For me, boredom is a big driver, but I'm not really sure how one "processes" boredom.

Our colleague Murple used to remind us that "if hunger isn't the problem, then food isn't the solution." Easier to say than to live, for sure, but there it is.

I have come to appreciate that my food intake is pretty consistent. I have similar caloric intake from day-to-day when looking at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Lately I have recognized that those three meals are sufficient to satiate my hunger. Thus, any additional "desire" to eat is almost certainly not hunger.

I've therefore taken a much more strict approach than I have in the past. I *know* that I am not hungry in the evening. Thus, even if I *feel* hungry, it's really just boredom (or another emotion) and is not to be fed (pun intended). So, I have decided that I will NOT snack in the evenings after dinner. If I absolutely need to have some foodstuff, then I make a cup of tea and call that good-enough.

After a few days of living this way, it turns out that it's not that hard to continue.

Note: one can change the word "snack" to "alcohol" and the same concepts apply!

Anyway, sorry for rambling and I hope this makes sense.

gadgetgirlIL

I am prone to procrastination eating. Having to draft a carefully written email to deliver unpleasant news can trigger emotional eating. So can having to make a phone call where I'm anticipating that there will be some pushback from the other end. And right now, food sounds more appealing than trying to deal with all the crap that piled up in my inbox over the 4 days that I was out of town. Some days I just don't want to be an adult. Today is one of them.

linmueller

I really appreciate your thoughts @steve0mania esp. the mention of boredom. That's a big one for me, and I hadn't considered the inability to "process" that one (these thoughts are pretty new, and definitely not fully flushed out, obviously). I'll need a different strategy, and I like yours for snacks/alcohol. Basically, just say no! I'm on it!

I totally relate @gadgetgirlIL ! I often find myself in front of the pantry, just looking. If I stop and think about, I can usually determine exactly what got me there! Sometimes a bag of chips or M&Ms sounds so much better than adulting 🤷

minimyzeme

I saw this last week but didn't make time or have desire to respond using my phone. In general though, I think you've hit my nail on the head, @linmueller . I agree with much of what others wrote here. My experience is similar in that long ago (as in decades), I created the pattern of reacting to stress or anxiety with food. When I really think about it, I think it goes back as far as childhood. Now, these many years later, I'm finally learning and practicing reversal of that behavior.

If I'm really on my game and being mindful, I can uncouple the stimulus / response process. In fact, it has been one of THE tenets of my weight management program. Focusing on my behavior instead of the actual weight loss (trials and tribulations of the scale) has emphasized to me that Murple was right: 'If hunger's not the problem, food's not the answer.'

These days I put much more energy into figuring out what the problem really is and then whether and how much I have any control or way to address that problem. Sometimes I absolutely do, but it's surprising to me how often I really have little control over the outcome. Still, it's been an insightful and productive strategy to tackle my weight management challenge.

88olds

As a wise GoaDie once put it-

If hunger isn’t the problem, food isn’t the solution.

podkey

My best guess is that (and I seriously mean this) the reason I stopped gaining weight at somewhere around 220 LB instead of 320 lb ish is that I am not an emotional eater by nature. Foods just don't comfort me and I do think of trying to use them that way. Yes I suppose at times I have eaten a bit more or grazed perhaps from boredom. I do respond to the sight and smell of good food and can have "hedonic hunger" that way for sure.

linmueller

You guys are the best! Thank you so much for bringing this post up again, first so I could review it, and second for the nuggets I gained from your additional thoughts.

First, @minimyzeme , your comment "Focusing on my behavior instead of the actual weight loss " is sooo timely! I have been staying on program, barely touching weeklies, and the scale has slowed to a crawl (less then #1 per week, with a .4 gain one week). BUT, my eating habits have improved immensely! I'm snacking less, eating much healthier, and moving a little more (still work to be done here). I'm going to choose to focus on my successes and not be discouraged by the scale!

Also, in light of that ... while I'm not part of a religion that gives things up for Lent, I like to do something to keep the Easter season in the forefront of my mind. I had considered giving up all sweets, but instead, I'm going to do intermittent fasting (eat during just 8 hours of the day) and not snack. That will take mindfulness, accomplishing the Easter goal, and help me establish some more healthy habits! Thanks for the idea Kim! The fact that @steve0mania mentioned not snacking in his post, just proves that I'm a slow learner 🤷

My first thought when I read your comment @88olds , was ya ya, I know LOL. But what a timely reminder in light of what ...

@podkey said! Specifically, "Foods just don't comfort me". The lightbulb came on so bright, I'm shocked if you all didn't see it! I realize, food doesn't comfort me either! I can't believe I never realized it before! I'm not even that attached to celebratory foods (ie. no Mexican food on Cinco de mio, no corned beef of St Patrick's day, tho a green beer is fun, no red, white and blue jello or cake on 4th of July). OMG SMH! I'm gobsmacked! It's all just been "habit" that's drawn me to mow when stressed etc. I'm just shaking my head at this revelation ... literally!

And last, while rereading this thread, specifically Steve's comments, I realized I'm never "bored to the point if finding myself in front of the snack cupboard" when DH and I sit around stuck in the house all stormy weekend. So, boredom is likely not the emotion that drives me to the cupboard, it's most probably loneliness! 😳😳😳

Ohhhh so much to learn!

Thanks again to those of you who helped me sort this out