Barn Etiquette (Rant)
1princesswarrior
Posts: 1,242 Member
Ok, I already ranted to my friends and family but since most of you have horses and boarding experience I thought I get your thoughts.
First a little history. I board at a nice barn, not a show barn by any means but nice. The owner allows full, partial, and self-care to better cater to the boarders. A couple of months ago I made a deal with the owner that I would do all the work if she would by the limestone so I could redo my horse's stall floor. Well, as it turns out, the owner asked me to move stalls so last weekend I started digging out a second stall. I'm okay with that because she's going to take my old stall and expand the tack room with a small dressing room.
There is a boarder on self-care with two horses, a really hot pony, and a $15000 dutch warmblood/hanoverian cross. Both horses are difficult for everyone to handle with bad ground manners, both bite, and the $15000 horse cribs. She just got the $15000 horse a few months ago and she had no idea how much work two horses are. Her daughter rides the pony. She will park both horses in the cross ties and leave them there unattended for up to an hour at a time during lesson times and when others are riding or want to ride. She left the expensive horse in cross ties before a group lesson last week and left the barn to go pick up her daughter because our instructor is schooling the horse before lessons, this horse is not trained to stand in cross ties for long periods of time. She also will not clean up after her horses leave the cross ties, that means poop or sweeping. Both sets of cross ties are also wash racks so they must be kept clean to prevent the drains from clogging more. Friday night I had to clean the cross ties and when I went back to get Mateuss to tack him up she had gotten both of her horses out and taken up both of the cross ties for over an hour. Finally, I took her one horse and put him in his stall and got Mateuss out and started tacking him up. She looked at me like she was going to say something so I asked "what?" She walked away noticeably upset with me for touching her $15000 show horse that she's afraid to ride btw. Then she had the nerve to ask me not to ride while her daughter was riding because it makes her daughter nervous to have other people in the arena at the same time. I said, "too bad, I waited over an hour for the cross ties, I'm riding so I can get home before midnight and I pay board here too." That did not go over well at all but I had a lot nastier things on my mind to say.
So my new stall will be next to her show horse once I get it done. She asked the barn owner to not have me move there giving the barn owner a lame excuse that her horse will be in my way. We are allowed to put up stall gates and that's what her horse cribs on. The barn owner told me this on Sunday after I brought Matuess in in a foamy sweat and had to clean up her mess in the cross ties before I could hose him off. My response to the barn owner was that I don't care what this person wants, I had dug all day the day before, I was promised that stall, I'm taking it, and eventually I will put a gate up when I can afford to.
Then later I found out from my friend that the real reason she doesn't want me in that stall is because she thinks Mateuss is crazy and he will be a bad influence on her show horse and injure her show horse if I am allowed to get a gate. Her words were actually "that crazy Arab" will... Needless to say I spoke with the barn owner again because I'm not going to continue to haul in limestone 1/4 wheelbarrow at a time if I'm going to get kicked out of that stall because another boarder doesn't like it. The owner reassured me not to worry she would handle it and that when I do get a gate to order a yoke and she is going to make this other person get a yoke as well, those are the rules of the barn.
This other person has also managed to get the owner to rearrange the fields that several of the horses go out in so she can have two fields of her liking, which I think is ridiculous. The instructor does not even have multiple fields for the lesson horses. This person will also blatantly turn her horses out when the fields are closed due to inclement weather. This farm has really nice fields because the owner is particular about turn out when it is very wet. There are no mud lots and the fields are separated for small group turnout and individual turnout only if necessary and only during non-standard turnout (i.e. mornings during night turnout and during the evening during day turnout).
I'm sorry but new people who come in are going to see this and say "well why can't my horse go out if so and so's horses are out?" And they are going to leave. And if they can't get to the cross ties ... well what good is a riding barn if you can't tack up your horse?
Maybe it's because I learned etiquette in such a large environment with over 60 horses, maybe it's because I'm tired of people calling my Arab crazy just because he's an Arab, maybe it's because I get tired of cleaning up after other people all the time.
But am I wrong in being just down right pissed off about some of this? In particular the cross ties and the stall thing. Be honest I can take it.
Rant over. Thanks for reading.
First a little history. I board at a nice barn, not a show barn by any means but nice. The owner allows full, partial, and self-care to better cater to the boarders. A couple of months ago I made a deal with the owner that I would do all the work if she would by the limestone so I could redo my horse's stall floor. Well, as it turns out, the owner asked me to move stalls so last weekend I started digging out a second stall. I'm okay with that because she's going to take my old stall and expand the tack room with a small dressing room.
There is a boarder on self-care with two horses, a really hot pony, and a $15000 dutch warmblood/hanoverian cross. Both horses are difficult for everyone to handle with bad ground manners, both bite, and the $15000 horse cribs. She just got the $15000 horse a few months ago and she had no idea how much work two horses are. Her daughter rides the pony. She will park both horses in the cross ties and leave them there unattended for up to an hour at a time during lesson times and when others are riding or want to ride. She left the expensive horse in cross ties before a group lesson last week and left the barn to go pick up her daughter because our instructor is schooling the horse before lessons, this horse is not trained to stand in cross ties for long periods of time. She also will not clean up after her horses leave the cross ties, that means poop or sweeping. Both sets of cross ties are also wash racks so they must be kept clean to prevent the drains from clogging more. Friday night I had to clean the cross ties and when I went back to get Mateuss to tack him up she had gotten both of her horses out and taken up both of the cross ties for over an hour. Finally, I took her one horse and put him in his stall and got Mateuss out and started tacking him up. She looked at me like she was going to say something so I asked "what?" She walked away noticeably upset with me for touching her $15000 show horse that she's afraid to ride btw. Then she had the nerve to ask me not to ride while her daughter was riding because it makes her daughter nervous to have other people in the arena at the same time. I said, "too bad, I waited over an hour for the cross ties, I'm riding so I can get home before midnight and I pay board here too." That did not go over well at all but I had a lot nastier things on my mind to say.
So my new stall will be next to her show horse once I get it done. She asked the barn owner to not have me move there giving the barn owner a lame excuse that her horse will be in my way. We are allowed to put up stall gates and that's what her horse cribs on. The barn owner told me this on Sunday after I brought Matuess in in a foamy sweat and had to clean up her mess in the cross ties before I could hose him off. My response to the barn owner was that I don't care what this person wants, I had dug all day the day before, I was promised that stall, I'm taking it, and eventually I will put a gate up when I can afford to.
Then later I found out from my friend that the real reason she doesn't want me in that stall is because she thinks Mateuss is crazy and he will be a bad influence on her show horse and injure her show horse if I am allowed to get a gate. Her words were actually "that crazy Arab" will... Needless to say I spoke with the barn owner again because I'm not going to continue to haul in limestone 1/4 wheelbarrow at a time if I'm going to get kicked out of that stall because another boarder doesn't like it. The owner reassured me not to worry she would handle it and that when I do get a gate to order a yoke and she is going to make this other person get a yoke as well, those are the rules of the barn.
This other person has also managed to get the owner to rearrange the fields that several of the horses go out in so she can have two fields of her liking, which I think is ridiculous. The instructor does not even have multiple fields for the lesson horses. This person will also blatantly turn her horses out when the fields are closed due to inclement weather. This farm has really nice fields because the owner is particular about turn out when it is very wet. There are no mud lots and the fields are separated for small group turnout and individual turnout only if necessary and only during non-standard turnout (i.e. mornings during night turnout and during the evening during day turnout).
I'm sorry but new people who come in are going to see this and say "well why can't my horse go out if so and so's horses are out?" And they are going to leave. And if they can't get to the cross ties ... well what good is a riding barn if you can't tack up your horse?
Maybe it's because I learned etiquette in such a large environment with over 60 horses, maybe it's because I'm tired of people calling my Arab crazy just because he's an Arab, maybe it's because I get tired of cleaning up after other people all the time.
But am I wrong in being just down right pissed off about some of this? In particular the cross ties and the stall thing. Be honest I can take it.
Rant over. Thanks for reading.
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Replies
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I feel you on the rant. No one should EVER leave the premises with their horse on cross ties!. Even when I am leaving Willow there so she learns to chill out and relax I stay where I can see if anything goes awry. Horses can and do kill themselves in cross ties.
Also, not cleaning up after your horse would get you kicked out of my barn. Unless you paid the salaries of the barn help for me.0 -
Maybe talk with the barn owner about possibly establishing/enforcing rules such as a limited amount of time in the cross ties and cleaning up after your horse to make it fair to all boarders.0
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I don't think you are wrong at all! After reading this I told my barn owner your story and she was appalled at your barn mates behavior, especially leaving the horse unattended on the crossties...that's just dangerous... It doesn't matter what kind of barn you board at, everyone should be respectful of others and clean up after themselves. Sounds like that just because she has an expensive show horse she thinks she should get priority, which is nonsense... Oh, and I can't believe she asked you not to ride because it makes her daughter nervous...if that's the case then she should plan her daughters rides around others, not expect others to plan around her... Keep us posted lol!0
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Ditto - I am sooo lucky to keep my own on pasture. However, my daughters take lessons at a nearby barn, which has 58 stalls and pony stalls to boot. This barn isn't much to look at from the outside, but it is very clean and well managed on the inside, where it counts. Both arenas are open to any and all riders at all times. There is a level of respect that is expected without posted rules. The owner let us know that for new riders the indoor arena is best, the outdoor is second. The girls have learned to never leave the horses crosstied except during grooming, going to get tack, cooling out, bathing, etc... there are numerous cross tie sites throughout the barn, two of which are shower stalls. Those are to be cleaned before leaving the barn. The girls can only walk to the tackroom and back - on the same aisle... there are several aisles - but they are expected to gather any equipment from the other areas before they tie them up.
I would never leave an investment horse tied like that! I think written barn rules may be in order in this case. The owner should provide contract updates or something similar - to all barn users, so there can be no question, and therefore put no blame on the owner or any one boarder as well. At this point, if I were the owner I would seek legal counsel... I would not be surprised if this person with $$$ to throw around carelessly would sue the pants off everyone around if there were any reason. The fact that the horse-racist person doesn't like your crazy arab - please... I have had a "crazy" appaloosa quarter horse that would shame any of the arabians I have owned in my life. So her horse is going to "catch" some craziness from your apparently very spooky and frightening horse that is not safe to keep in any barn. I think she needs to go home and build herself a barn, arena, etc... and hire herself a barnhand to tend her horses. I do hope that you are able to make some suggestions to find some resolution. I hate that people are difficult. Maybe she thinks you are just "hired help" and therefore inferior... but you are not, if you are the one displaying common decency and not keeping people waiting on you hand and foot, then you are the better woman. I feel bad for her daughter having to grow up with such a sad example for a mother...
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Here's the sad part to all of this.
1. The barn owner is now having to call an "all boarders" meeting because of one person. And rewrite the barn rules.
2. The said person was out of town yesterday and left a 10 item list of things to do for her horses in her absence solely in regards to feeding and she took the cribbing collar off expensive horse because she doesn't like that the staff adjusts it so it works as she puts it on too loose.
3. She is pointing the fingers at others for leaving the areas a mess, even in front of her stalls, instead of just taking the 1-2 minutes to clean it up.
4. Everyone gets mad at the owner for the drama and the problems. The owner also works full-time with an hour commute and is working her butt off to try and get the barn cleaned up and make improvements for everybody.
I do feel for her daughter, who has a terrible autoimmune disease, because instead of learning to be strong she is learning to be a victim and expect others to take care of her.
I just found out my Arab freaked out when they were weed whacking and hitting the side of the barn with the weed whacker a couple of weeks ago and was rearing and kicking in his stall, apparently this lady watched this and did nothing about it. She didn't ask the guy to stop, she didn't call me, she didn't call the barn owner and ask them to move my guy to a different stall, she just decided he's a crazy Arab. A different boarder came in and said something to the guy with the weed whacker, and then bless her heart took Mateuss and walked him in the indoor arena to cool him down. She reported that he was jumpy but did nothing bad whatsoever and she didn't feel the need to call me because it wasn't an emergency. That's how the rest of us look out for one another.0 -
The really sad part is that the problem boarder won't get that SHE is the problem and I can pretty much guarantee that her behavior won't change unless she is forced to. She will feel that the rest of you are out to get her because you're just jealous. I wonder how many other barns she has been kicked out of?
My trainer would have shot us if we left a horse unattended on the cross ties for even a second. You were to have everything you needed out on the racks or the shelf before you got your horse and you put everything away and swept/raked/scooped as needed after your horse was put away. We weren't supposed to leave until everything was ship shape and in its place.
The barn I teach at doesn't have any boarders, it all school horses, so we don't have an issue with bad boarders but we do have a couple of instructors that don't follow simple courtesy rules when sharing teaching space so I understand your frustration with having to work around people who aren't in a hurry, are taking up more than their fair share of space, are constantly in the way or, and this one is my favorite, ignoring their client to chat with the parents so the kid is doing whatever while you are trying to teach your client.
Hang in there, either she will get with the program or she (hopefully) will leave.0
