Discussion: Diet vs Lifestyle

I saw a thread in the main forum that made me think about this again.

The word lifestyle gets thrown around a lot now. It has been co-opted even by people who jump from fad to fad as if saying the word lifestyle actually means it is one... it is not.

One of the things to remember is that you have a lifestyle now. You had a lifestyle while you were gaining weight. The plan has to be to change your lifestyle.

Does anyone actually start with losing weight as a lifestyle? I doubt it. I think every weight loss effort begins with a plan and a plan is a diet. That doesn't make it bad it is just that is where it starts. No matter what you do there is an abnormal aspect of beginning weight loss and in my opinion a lifestyle requires things to seem normal.

Transitioning:

So how you make your lifestyle about proper weight management? Here are my thoughts and keep in mind I am no expert so fight me on any point that you feel is wrong:

1) You can't be in a constant state of hunger, low energy, or misery. All of these things happen even when we gain weight but they can't be constant then or now. Experimentation with different ways of eating may be required to overcome some of it. You may also have to settle for losing weight a little slower if you are always tired. You can be uncomfortable at times, in fact you should be, but miserable is no good.

2) You don't quit. You can't change anything if you quit each time something goes wrong. How can that be a workable lifestyle?

3) Maintaining realistic expectations. You didn't find a magic genie lamp and you won't lose more than 75 pounds in a blink of an eye. It is going to take time and there will be challenging days. You can't be patient if you don't manage your expectations.

4) The weight loss is a chapter not your entire story. You have lives to lead. You can't be obsessed with weight loss and scale results. I know we all get sucked in at times but most of the time you need to be going about your lives and just dealing with weight management as a small piece of it.

5) It is about a better life not a number on the scale. I think the priority has always got to be non scale victories over numbers. I like a good milestone number but I would much rather sit in a booth with my wife, travel comfortably, and all the other things that weight has held me back from doing.

6) Adaptation. A lifestyle is not a static thing. There are things that change that are constantly having an impact. Things like location, jobs, friends, family dynamics, relationships, and of course health and weight. When things change we change. We adapt.

7) Weight management is the goal. We should not be happy with just losing weight. Anyone can lose weight. We have to keep our eye on the prize of managing our weight as it comes off and stays off.

8) The transition begins but when does it end? I don't know the answer to this. I assume for me it will be well after the weight is lost and I have been in maintenance for a couple of years. I have to keep learning and keep improving until I have this down. Maybe the answer is never. All I know is I intend to keep making small changes over time until weight management is so steady and routine I barely have to manage it at all.

That is all I have for now. I may edit this as I think of other things and as some of you post your thoughts.

Replies

NovusDies

88olds wrote: »

@bmeadows380

Something that helped get me away from fast food fries- going in and getting a look at the deep fryer. Just watching that grease bubbling away, especially the pee color, really put me off. A similar idea got me away from donuts- fried wads of goo.

Near the end of losing mode I ate a lot of lunches at McDs. The salads were better then. Funny it took a while to convince them at my regular stop that I really did want grilled chicken on my salad and it was coming back if it was fried.

The friers are in the same spot in every McDs, on the left where you can get a good look at them. Give it a try.

Interesting. I should be put off. I worked in a fast food restaurant as a teen. I made countless pounds of fries. I watched the oil turn dark during use and I drained and cleaned it many times. The sludge in the bottom was very unappealing. The oil would also take on flavors from other things that were cooked in it like breaded fish.

I still eat them though. Not very often but I guess even knowing all I know I still want them on occasion.

bmeadows380

88olds wrote: »

@bmeadows380

Something that helped get me away from fast food fries- going in and getting a look at the deep fryer. Just watching that grease bubbling away, especially the pee color, really put me off. A similar idea got me away from donuts- fried wads of goo.

Near the end of losing mode I ate a lot of lunches at McDs. The salads were better then. Funny it took a while to convince them at my regular stop that I really did want grilled chicken on my salad and it was coming back if it was fried.

The friers are in the same spot in every McDs, on the left where you can get a good look at them. Give it a try.

well, while the grease's color is off-putting, I also have to think that at the temps that oil is kept at to fry those potatoes, nothing is going to survive! lol

I really don't crave french fries, though, and when I do, I just get a happy meal and get the kids size fry there, or if I'm out with someone else, I'll just snag a couple of theirs.

McD's did have really good salads there for a while! Now, though, they've only got those two available, though I can at lest get them grilled. Now I end up at Wendy's more often than not because they've got great salads in two sizes, and they let you customize everything, especially when you order online, so I can a decent sized salad and get alot of calories off of it, too. And Wendy's small chili is only 160 calories and is pretty filling and I don't mind it without crackers. Arby's is my big weakness, but I stick with turkey 99% of the time usually get either their turkey salad sans cheese and sometimes the bacon, the turkey club without the sauce or cheese and sometimes no bacon, or the turkey sliders without cheese and somtimes only half the bun.

The local Arby's especially knows me - I can walk in and they'll have it rung up before I get to the counter, and I'll have the cost out before they say a word lol But if something is on it I don't want, it gets sent back, especially my teas - I don't like ice in my drinks, and if they give me ice, it goes back!

The local McD's, however, are hopeless at getting customizations right. Last week I ordered a egg mcmuffin without butter or cheese or the egg (I just wanted the muffin and the Canadian bacon), but when i did it through the app, it marked it plain. When I opened the wrapper, all I had was a plain muffin with nothing else! *roll eyes* it was too far to take back, so I just discounted my calories and ate it as it was. and that's not the first time they've mess it up.

bmeadows380

NovusDies wrote: »

I have also heard of the 28 day habit rule. I would have to look at the basis for it but I imagine that is only going to be true for new habits not habits that are replacing old ones that have had years of reinforcement.

I am opposed to a willpower based system. They have always failed for me simply because I am fighting myself. If I am at the end of the day and out of calories and I see a bowl of ice cream that I really want to eat I can, at any point, have as much willpower in favor of eating it as opposed. If I compromise and put off eating the ice cream until my calorie budge allows it then there is no fight. Then I only need enough willpower to engage in delayed gratification.

Aaron's premise comes from some studies on how to best manage our mental resources I think. The concept is that if you waste too much time on unimportant tasks and decisions like what to wear and what to eat it is a continual drain on mental resources and you may hit diminishing returns too fast on something more important. If I need to spend a day studying material to prepare for a certification or re-certification test I plan as much of my day the night before as possible.

Balance is probably the most important aspect of a healthy lifestyle. In this context a healthy lifestyle has nothing to do with actually getting healthier. It is about balancing all the things in your life so that priorities are met. It takes trial and error to figure it out. Back to getting healthier... any effort to lose weight and improve fitness has to fit. More exercise is good until it is too much and I do not have time for other tasks or just quality time with my wife. Eating highly nutritious food is good until I spend too many calories on it and ignore cravings until they burst the dam.

My life requires a weight loss plan that allows me to keep living my life. This will definitely mean that some days I have to sacrifice a little weight loss and eat more food for any number of reasons. One of those could be a family get together where it might be rude to fret over calories when someone has spent a lot of time preparing a meal. In those cases I have to balance myself between being mindful and potentially being rude. I do not have to eat seconds of everything or have a huge piece of pie for dessert to participate. I can exercise a little portion control and still be part of the gathering.

This is why I think highly of the 80/20 mindset. I have to always remember that I will meet all my goals as long as I am working at them most of the time. I can make them fit in my life if I remember that some of the time other things may be healthier. If denying myself treats makes me want to abandon my efforts to lose weight then eating treats is healthier than not eating them.

What I came away with from the willpower article is that its a resource we have that gets used up (think mana in a magic style RPG game lol) and so we need to pick and choose our battles to use it wisely. I can relate to that because I do seem to have much more self control in the morning when I'm fresh, than in the evenings. When I lose it, it's going to be in the evenings 9 times out of 10. By evening, I'm tired, I've spent the day doing things I had to not because I wanted to or even enjoyed them, so my willpower reserves are low and I tend to give in. When I realize this about myself, I learn to work with it and compensate, such as delaying or even skipping breakfast, keeping lunch to a minimum and saving as many calories as I can for the evening. I don't bother trying to join a gym because I detest regulated exercise with a passion and I know that I'm not going to win that battle for very long. I do everything the night before because I am not a morning person, so trying to get up early to do something like exercise isn't going to work.

I agree about the concept of the 80/20 - constantly depriving yourself or saying never will eventually back-fire for most people.

The area that is my biggest trouble spot and where I'm still working is self-forgiveness and setting unattainable goals - or better yet, having my head move the goal posts every time I get close! Learning to give myself permission for that 20% of the time isn't easy!

NovusDies

bmeadows380 wrote: »

NovusDies wrote: »

I have also heard of the 28 day habit rule. I would have to look at the basis for it but I imagine that is only going to be true for new habits not habits that are replacing old ones that have had years of reinforcement.

I am opposed to a willpower based system. They have always failed for me simply because I am fighting myself. If I am at the end of the day and out of calories and I see a bowl of ice cream that I really want to eat I can, at any point, have as much willpower in favor of eating it as opposed. If I compromise and put off eating the ice cream until my calorie budge allows it then there is no fight. Then I only need enough willpower to engage in delayed gratification.

Aaron's premise comes from some studies on how to best manage our mental resources I think. The concept is that if you waste too much time on unimportant tasks and decisions like what to wear and what to eat it is a continual drain on mental resources and you may hit diminishing returns too fast on something more important. If I need to spend a day studying material to prepare for a certification or re-certification test I plan as much of my day the night before as possible.

Balance is probably the most important aspect of a healthy lifestyle. In this context a healthy lifestyle has nothing to do with actually getting healthier. It is about balancing all the things in your life so that priorities are met. It takes trial and error to figure it out. Back to getting healthier... any effort to lose weight and improve fitness has to fit. More exercise is good until it is too much and I do not have time for other tasks or just quality time with my wife. Eating highly nutritious food is good until I spend too many calories on it and ignore cravings until they burst the dam.

My life requires a weight loss plan that allows me to keep living my life. This will definitely mean that some days I have to sacrifice a little weight loss and eat more food for any number of reasons. One of those could be a family get together where it might be rude to fret over calories when someone has spent a lot of time preparing a meal. In those cases I have to balance myself between being mindful and potentially being rude. I do not have to eat seconds of everything or have a huge piece of pie for dessert to participate. I can exercise a little portion control and still be part of the gathering.

This is why I think highly of the 80/20 mindset. I have to always remember that I will meet all my goals as long as I am working at them most of the time. I can make them fit in my life if I remember that some of the time other things may be healthier. If denying myself treats makes me want to abandon my efforts to lose weight then eating treats is healthier than not eating them.

What I came away with from the willpower article is that its a resource we have that gets used up (think mana in a magic style RPG game lol) and so we need to pick and choose our battles to use it wisely. I can relate to that because I do seem to have much more self control in the morning when I'm fresh, than in the evenings. When I lose it, it's going to be in the evenings 9 times out of 10. By evening, I'm tired, I've spent the day doing things I had to not because I wanted to or even enjoyed them, so my willpower reserves are low and I tend to give in. When I realize this about myself, I learn to work with it and compensate, such as delaying or even skipping breakfast, keeping lunch to a minimum and saving as many calories as I can for the evening. I don't bother trying to join a gym because I detest regulated exercise with a passion and I know that I'm not going to win that battle for very long. I do everything the night before because I am not a morning person, so trying to get up early to do something like exercise isn't going to work.

I agree about the concept of the 80/20 - constantly depriving yourself or saying never will eventually back-fire for most people.

The area that is my biggest trouble spot and where I'm still working is self-forgiveness and setting unattainable goals - or better yet, having my head move the goal posts every time I get close! Learning to give myself permission for that 20% of the time isn't easy!

I was just pointing out that willpower may be like all mental resources. It is also one of the reasons I do not allow myself to dwell on weight loss. No good can come from it. I can only accomplish what is right in front of me which is being in a calorie deficit today. In the past I would let it consume parts of my day and it wore me down much faster.

I found I do better with very vague master goals. I have too much of a "rip the band aid off" personality and if I set a goal to be 200 pounds I would want to get there as quickly as possible. If my goal is to be a healthier weight I can accomplish it today if I stay in a deficit because even losing a fraction of a pound today means I am technically at a healthier weight.

Temporary specific goals like getting a certain number of steps in a day has to be viewable from where I am currently. If I can hit 18k steps in a day without feeling poorly it stands to reason I can set a goal to hit 20k. Averaging 20k or even 18k steps is not possible for me but I can hit it on occasion and pass by the goal.

For me the 20 percent is a requirement. I need it for success so I have made it a rule. I do not look at it as something I need permission to do but as something I must do. That distinction works for me. I do not have a set formula for how to follow it. I assume if I am having treats and I eat a bunch of things I don't normally eat on vacations and whatnot I am doing what I am supposed to do.

As I have said many times once you solve or mostly solve being hungry all day while being in a deficit most of the rest of the struggle happens between the ears. There are no universal answers that will work for everyone. What I do for me may, in part, work for someone else or it may not. I doubt seriously that all my ideas, systems, and coping mechanisms would work for much of anyone. Shoot, it doesn't even work for me 100 percent of the time.

bmeadows380

NovusDies wrote: »

As I have said many times once you solve or mostly solve being hungry all day while being in a deficit most of the rest of the struggle happens between the ears.....Shoot, it doesn't even work for me 100 percent of the time.

That is the biggest truth in my efforts! It took a very long time before I started being able to distinguish between mental hunger and stomach hunger, and even knowing the difference doesn't make it any easier to resist. And my brain can be sneaky - it'll change up its tactics if I learn to resist it in one way.

NovusDies wrote: »

There are no universal answers that will work for everyone. What I do for me may, in part, work for someone else or it may not. I doubt seriously that all my ideas, systems, and coping mechanisms would work for much of anyone. Shoot, it doesn't even work for me 100 percent of the time.

I really appreciate the honesty there! I am glad you put your ideas out as they may help me with things I'm struggling with, while at the same time, you present them as just that - ideas, take them or leave them. One of the things about these diet trends, like Keto, low carb in general, IF, whole foods, no sugar, whatever, is the inherent superiority and judgmental that seems to be built into them. There's this whole "if you don't do it this way, then you aren't doing it the best way" or "you can't be healthy unless you eat this way" mentality that is implied in many versions of the diets, and heaven forbid you point out that there isn't any magic that any one particular way of eating and that its still the calorie deficit that is important; use whatever method works for you to achieve it and maintain it! I suppose its human nature to set up standards to judge each other by and to evaluate ourselves against, but that doesn't mean that its a beneficial impulse. So I appreciate the posters who can be easy going and balanced in their responses and don't find a need to defend their opinions or attack another for differing with them!

maureenkhilde

Lots of interesting thoughts and comments in this thread. My journey as I call it that has no end, but will have different roads for the rest of my life is ongoing.
I do not refer to it as a "Diet" because to me that word is something I am the total mistress of total failure at for decades. So I refuse to use it under any circumstance any more.
When really pushed I say that I am in a lifesyle change as it relates to food.

Major behavior modifaction. The habit thing from a book I was reading stated 21 days, and 60 more days of practicing it daily for it to really truly take. But I also have read and totally get how easy it can be to fall back in those old easy habits that I personally do not want to go back to ever. A couple of really helfpul habits that I have picked up. I log daily everything I put in my mouth, even when I eat something unplanned. I also weigh my food, I put recipes together so I know what I am eating.

As a type 2 diabetic for 20 years, and yes Insulin is part of my life. I finally ACCEPTED for me that as part of my journey, not only to lose weight. I needed to change what I ate. Not just portion size and so on. Because yes I could lose weight that way. But that would not let me conquor or get ahead of the diabetes, which to me has always been part of the deal in my mind. I felt like I was in mourning for quite some time. I did not go happily away from white and brown sugar and white and whole wheat flour. But I finally was willing to admit to myself, what I had to change to be successful really successful and for me it was about the healthy part that goes along with the losing weight.

I have always had, a big sweet tooth. So I have learned over time to bake and cook with alternate flours and sugars. That do not make the blood glucose go wild. So I am someone who makes sure I work that into my food calories. I eat low carb, no not keto but around 65 per day. Do I sometimes fall a bit off the wagon, um that would be yes. But not often, and for me the big aha, it happens much less frequently, and does not last for days. People ask what is the most important part, I say with no hestitation what so ever. The mind, the mind has to be ready to take it on. When I started this up I literally made a list of pros VS cons for losing weight. And decided yes the pros had it. But admitted it was going to be a bumpy journey, and I at times would have issues. But the key was to keep on going. So for me it is journey and a eating lifestyle change, big behavior modification. And what works for me, may work for no one else. As each person has to come to their own conclusion of what makes them tick, and what they are willing to do.

papayahed

oh gosh, this thread is timely. I've been going along just fine (for the most part) keeping my calories in check but now I've increased exercise and I'm trying to eat back half those calories and it's a total mind screw. I've just spent 6 months cutting calories and now I have to think about adding back. I'm actually considering adding a free treats back which is completely scary. I have a plan, I have a goal, my mindset is right but I'm finding myself freak out over gummy bears. weird.

NovusDies

papayahed wrote: »

oh gosh, this thread is timely. I've been going along just fine (for the most part) keeping my calories in check but now I've increased exercise and I'm trying to eat back half those calories and it's a total mind screw. I've just spent 6 months cutting calories and now I have to think about adding back. I'm actually considering adding a free treats back which is completely scary. I have a plan, I have a goal, my mindset is right but I'm finding myself freak out over gummy bears. weird.

@papayahed Check out the general discussion thread at the top. I posted about this very thing today.

conniewilkins56

I finished reading these posts again and I always learn something new each time!

conniewilkins56

NovusDies wrote: »

I saw a thread in the main forum that made me think about this again.

The word lifestyle gets thrown around a lot now. It has been co-opted even by people who jump from fad to fad as if saying the word lifestyle actually means it is one... it is not.

One of the things to remember is that you have a lifestyle now. You had a lifestyle while you were gaining weight. The plan has to be to change your lifestyle.

Does anyone actually start with losing weight as a lifestyle? I doubt it. I think every weight loss effort begins with a plan and a plan is a diet. That doesn't make it bad it is just that is where it starts. No matter what you do there is an abnormal aspect of beginning weight loss and in my opinion a lifestyle requires things to seem normal.

Transitioning:

So how you make your lifestyle about proper weight management? Here are my thoughts and keep in mind I am no expert so fight me on any point that you feel is wrong:

1) You can't be in a constant state of hunger, low energy, or misery. All of these things happen even when we gain weight but they can't be constant then or now. Experimentation with different ways of eating may be required to overcome some of it. You may also have to settle for losing weight a little slower if you are always tired. You can be uncomfortable at times, in fact you should be, but miserable is no good.

2) You don't quit. You can't change anything if you quit each time something goes wrong. How can that be a workable lifestyle?

3) Maintaining realistic expectations. You didn't find a magic genie lamp and you won't lose more than 75 pounds in a blink of an eye. It is going to take time and there will be challenging days. You can't be patient if you don't manage your expectations.

4) The weight loss is a chapter not your entire story. You have lives to lead. You can't be obsessed with weight loss and scale results. I know we all get sucked in at times but most of the time you need to be going about your lives and just dealing with weight management as a small piece of it.

5) It is about a better life not a number on the scale. I think the priority has always got to be non scale victories over numbers. I like a good milestone number but I would much rather sit in a booth with my wife, travel comfortably, and all the other things that weight has held me back from doing.

6) Adaptation. A lifestyle is not a static thing. There are things that change that are constantly having an impact. Things like location, jobs, friends, family dynamics, relationships, and of course health and weight. When things change we change. We adapt.

7) Weight management is the goal. We should not be happy with just losing weight. Anyone can lose weight. We have to keep our eye on the prize of managing our weight as it comes off and stays off.

8) The transition begins but when does it end? I don't know the answer to this. I assume for me it will be well after the weight is lost and I have been in maintenance for a couple of years. I have to keep learning and keep improving until I have this down. Maybe the answer is never. All I know is I intend to keep making small changes over time until weight management is so steady and routine I barely have to manage it at all.

That is all I have for now. I may edit this as I think of other things and as some of you post your thoughts.

I often go back and read posts that are particularly meaningful or motivational....I think the above up is something all of us need to remind ourselves of....this IS our new lifestyle!

conniewilkins56

conniewilkins56 wrote: »

NovusDies wrote: »

I saw a thread in the main forum that made me think about this again.

The word lifestyle gets thrown around a lot now. It has been co-opted even by people who jump from fad to fad as if saying the word lifestyle actually means it is one... it is not.

One of the things to remember is that you have a lifestyle now. You had a lifestyle while you were gaining weight. The plan has to be to change your lifestyle.

Does anyone actually start with losing weight as a lifestyle? I doubt it. I think every weight loss effort begins with a plan and a plan is a diet. That doesn't make it bad it is just that is where it starts. No matter what you do there is an abnormal aspect of beginning weight loss and in my opinion a lifestyle requires things to seem normal.

Transitioning:

So how you make your lifestyle about proper weight management? Here are my thoughts and keep in mind I am no expert so fight me on any point that you feel is wrong:

1) You can't be in a constant state of hunger, low energy, or misery. All of these things happen even when we gain weight but they can't be constant then or now. Experimentation with different ways of eating may be required to overcome some of it. You may also have to settle for losing weight a little slower if you are always tired. You can be uncomfortable at times, in fact you should be, but miserable is no good.

2) You don't quit. You can't change anything if you quit each time something goes wrong. How can that be a workable lifestyle?

3) Maintaining realistic expectations. You didn't find a magic genie lamp and you won't lose more than 75 pounds in a blink of an eye. It is going to take time and there will be challenging days. You can't be patient if you don't manage your expectations.

4) The weight loss is a chapter not your entire story. You have lives to lead. You can't be obsessed with weight loss and scale results. I know we all get sucked in at times but most of the time you need to be going about your lives and just dealing with weight management as a small piece of it.

5) It is about a better life not a number on the scale. I think the priority has always got to be non scale victories over numbers. I like a good milestone number but I would much rather sit in a booth with my wife, travel comfortably, and all the other things that weight has held me back from doing.

6) Adaptation. A lifestyle is not a static thing. There are things that change that are constantly having an impact. Things like location, jobs, friends, family dynamics, relationships, and of course health and weight. When things change we change. We adapt.

7) Weight management is the goal. We should not be happy with just losing weight. Anyone can lose weight. We have to keep our eye on the prize of managing our weight as it comes off and stays off.

8) The transition begins but when does it end? I don't know the answer to this. I assume for me it will be well after the weight is lost and I have been in maintenance for a couple of years. I have to keep learning and keep improving until I have this down. Maybe the answer is never. All I know is I intend to keep making small changes over time until weight management is so steady and routine I barely have to manage it at all.

That is all I have for now. I may edit this as I think of other things and as some of you post your thoughts.

I often go back and read posts that are particularly meaningful or motivational....I think the above up is something all of us need to remind ourselves of....this IS our new lifestyle!

This is a great post and learning tool for all of us!

jlucas210

I kinda hate that "lifestyle" being the current buzz word we hear over and over has made me roll my eyes every time someone says it. I don't know why I have that automatic reaction when it's used as the mantra by everyone newly starting. I actually agree with everything said here.

conniewilkins56

jlucas210 wrote: »

I kinda hate that "lifestyle" being the current buzz word we hear over and over has made me roll my eyes every time someone says it. I don't know why I have that automatic reaction when it's used as the mantra by everyone newly starting. I actually agree with everything said here.

I guess for me, a new and healthy lifestyle sounds more fun than, “ I am on a diet”....actually I think I have been on a “ diet “ most of my life!...help us out here and think of a new word to use instead of “ lifestyle”... I like “ journey “ but some don’t like that word either....

To me, this is a journey with some smooth days,some bumpy days, and some detours along the way...as long as we keep going in the right direction and we reach our destination ; it’s all good...we can all travel different paths to get there!

jlucas210

conniewilkins56 wrote: »

jlucas210 wrote: »

I kinda hate that "lifestyle" being the current buzz word we hear over and over has made me roll my eyes every time someone says it. I don't know why I have that automatic reaction when it's used as the mantra by everyone newly starting. I actually agree with everything said here.

I guess for me, a new and healthy lifestyle sounds more fun than, “ I am on a diet”....actually I think I have been on a “ diet “ most of my life!...help us out here and think of a new word to use instead of “ lifestyle”... I like “ journey “ but some don’t like that word either....

To me, this is a journey with some smooth days,some bumpy days, and some detours along the way...as long as we keep going in the right direction and we reach our destination ; it’s all good...we can all travel different paths to get there!

@conniewilkins56 I think "lifestyle" is probably an accurate description. I wasn't complaining about the term so much, just complaining about my stupid reaction to it. I really like the way @NovusDies describes it as just changing what normal looks like.

NovusDies

jlucas210 wrote: »

I kinda hate that "lifestyle" being the current buzz word we hear over and over has made me roll my eyes every time someone says it. I don't know why I have that automatic reaction when it's used as the mantra by everyone newly starting. I actually agree with everything said here.

The problem is the term lifestyle is being applied to things that are still in the diet phase. We can't know everything there is to know about how to adjust our lifestyle in the first 3 weeks... not unless we just get very lucky. Calling a new plan a lifestyle doesn't magically improve adherence.

Since writing this post I have moved away from lifestyle more and more. I prefer the idea of "nudging your normal." Take the lifestyle you current have and keep adjusting it until it is one that helps you accomplish a healthier life.

However, that doesn't mean the idea of a new lifestyle is altogether bad. You could read about keto, try it, love it, and stick with it for years to come. From all I have read though that is statistically rare.

For the most part it takes time and experimentation to figure out what works. I have had to adjust my normal a few times along the way because what did work when I was much heavier stopped working as my activity increased and my fast stores decreased.

conniewilkins56

conniewilkins56 wrote: »

NovusDies wrote: »

I saw a thread in the main forum that made me think about this again.

The word lifestyle gets thrown around a lot now. It has been co-opted even by people who jump from fad to fad as if saying the word lifestyle actually means it is one... it is not.

One of the things to remember is that you have a lifestyle now. You had a lifestyle while you were gaining weight. The plan has to be to change your lifestyle.

Does anyone actually start with losing weight as a lifestyle? I doubt it. I think every weight loss effort begins with a plan and a plan is a diet. That doesn't make it bad it is just that is where it starts. No matter what you do there is an abnormal aspect of beginning weight loss and in my opinion a lifestyle requires things to seem normal.

Transitioning:

So how you make your lifestyle about proper weight management? Here are my thoughts and keep in mind I am no expert so fight me on any point that you feel is wrong:

1) You can't be in a constant state of hunger, low energy, or misery. All of these things happen even when we gain weight but they can't be constant then or now. Experimentation with different ways of eating may be required to overcome some of it. You may also have to settle for losing weight a little slower if you are always tired. You can be uncomfortable at times, in fact you should be, but miserable is no good.

2) You don't quit. You can't change anything if you quit each time something goes wrong. How can that be a workable lifestyle?

3) Maintaining realistic expectations. You didn't find a magic genie lamp and you won't lose more than 75 pounds in a blink of an eye. It is going to take time and there will be challenging days. You can't be patient if you don't manage your expectations.

4) The weight loss is a chapter not your entire story. You have lives to lead. You can't be obsessed with weight loss and scale results. I know we all get sucked in at times but most of the time you need to be going about your lives and just dealing with weight management as a small piece of it.

5) It is about a better life not a number on the scale. I think the priority has always got to be non scale victories over numbers. I like a good milestone number but I would much rather sit in a booth with my wife, travel comfortably, and all the other things that weight has held me back from doing.

6) Adaptation. A lifestyle is not a static thing. There are things that change that are constantly having an impact. Things like location, jobs, friends, family dynamics, relationships, and of course health and weight. When things change we change. We adapt.

7) Weight management is the goal. We should not be happy with just losing weight. Anyone can lose weight. We have to keep our eye on the prize of managing our weight as it comes off and stays off.

8) The transition begins but when does it end? I don't know the answer to this. I assume for me it will be well after the weight is lost and I have been in maintenance for a couple of years. I have to keep learning and keep improving until I have this down. Maybe the answer is never. All I know is I intend to keep making small changes over time until weight management is so steady and routine I barely have to manage it at all.

That is all I have for now. I may edit this as I think of other things and as some of you post your thoughts.

I often go back and read posts that are particularly meaningful or motivational....I think the above up is something all of us need to remind ourselves of....this IS our new lifestyle!

This is a great post…would love to hear others opinions!

conniewilkins56

NovusDies wrote: »

I saw a thread in the main forum that made me think about this again.

The word lifestyle gets thrown around a lot now. It has been co-opted even by people who jump from fad to fad as if saying the word lifestyle actually means it is one... it is not.

One of the things to remember is that you have a lifestyle now. You had a lifestyle while you were gaining weight. The plan has to be to change your lifestyle.

Does anyone actually start with losing weight as a lifestyle? I doubt it. I think every weight loss effort begins with a plan and a plan is a diet. That doesn't make it bad it is just that is where it starts. No matter what you do there is an abnormal aspect of beginning weight loss and in my opinion a lifestyle requires things to seem normal.

Transitioning:

So how you make your lifestyle about proper weight management? Here are my thoughts and keep in mind I am no expert so fight me on any point that you feel is wrong:

1) You can't be in a constant state of hunger, low energy, or misery. All of these things happen even when we gain weight but they can't be constant then or now. Experimentation with different ways of eating may be required to overcome some of it. You may also have to settle for losing weight a little slower if you are always tired. You can be uncomfortable at times, in fact you should be, but miserable is no good.

2) You don't quit. You can't change anything if you quit each time something goes wrong. How can that be a workable lifestyle?

3) Maintaining realistic expectations. You didn't find a magic genie lamp and you won't lose more than 75 pounds in a blink of an eye. It is going to take time and there will be challenging days. You can't be patient if you don't manage your expectations.

4) The weight loss is a chapter not your entire story. You have lives to lead. You can't be obsessed with weight loss and scale results. I know we all get sucked in at times but most of the time you need to be going about your lives and just dealing with weight management as a small piece of it.

5) It is about a better life not a number on the scale. I think the priority has always got to be non scale victories over numbers. I like a good milestone number but I would much rather sit in a booth with my wife, travel comfortably, and all the other things that weight has held me back from doing.

6) Adaptation. A lifestyle is not a static thing. There are things that change that are constantly having an impact. Things like location, jobs, friends, family dynamics, relationships, and of course health and weight. When things change we change. We adapt.

7) Weight management is the goal. We should not be happy with just losing weight. Anyone can lose weight. We have to keep our eye on the prize of managing our weight as it comes off and stays off.

8) The transition begins but when does it end? I don't know the answer to this. I assume for me it will be well after the weight is lost and I have been in maintenance for a couple of years. I have to keep learning and keep improving until I have this down. Maybe the answer is never. All I know is I intend to keep making small changes over time until weight management is so steady and routine I barely have to manage it at all.

That is all I have for now. I may edit this as I think of other things and as some of you post your thoughts.

PAV8888

Yes Connie? I don't see much wrong there!

I agree that *4* is a close call between obsession and indifference and the balance is somewhere in between!

I don't think / feel we (as a group, any one individual could be a different story); but I don't think that as a group we will ever be where weight management is a MINISCULE part.

But I truly and most certainly DO believe that it CAN be an infinitely MANAGEABLE part.

I will borrow the *kitten* brushing your teeth analogy. I can't say that I ENJOY brushing my teeth. But I am not having convulsions and existential angst as to whether I should or shouldn't brush and floss and as to whether the time I spend every day doing so is worthwhile or not.

I just do so! And I feel good about it! Even if I still, occasionally, get a cavity and/or a root canal!

conniewilkins56

I am a little OCD and I think about dieting and food 24/7…. I think for myself I need to relax a little and do this one day at a time….I need to make my good habits seem more natural and make them a part of my every day lifestyle…I have to be aware and diligent about what I am eating but I can’t let it consume every living moment of my life….I need to be the one in control and not let the food boss me around!

Does this make any sense?…lol

PAV8888

When we over-restrict... it tends to only last for SO long before it explodes, right? And the harder we go the worse it explodes. as I said before I don't think it can work if we don't think about it. possibly think about it a lot even. BUT, in a happy way. If it is all consuming in a stressful way? THAT is NOT a recipe for success.

You've noticed that I am looking to ADD bunnies. I am looking to FIND NEW LOW CALORIES (almost totally tasty) deserts. I am not sitting here unhappy that *I am not allowed to have" the super duper creme patisserie honeyed horns of ambrosia. I am excited that I managed to create a still edible no fat jello butterscotch pudding by reducing the milk that I used to the maximum. And if it fails to be good enough I just might toss it and try again with a bit more milk. Is it hamster management? To a degree absolutely yes. But the poor dears have now been bamboozled often enough that they have signed up to the plan 95+% of the time.

Do you know the only times that they don't sign on? When the hamster housing is tired, cold, upset, angry, or agitated, or has hit too large of a deficit, or lands hungry in the land of plenty when it is on sale... or gets deliveries from downstairs!

As long as hamster management avoids the above conditions more often than not... all is good in PAV-land.

So it can't be the SAME for Connie! But you CAN do some hamster training and part of the issue is that I think you seldom have a minute to yourself! Maybe you need "imperfectly perfect" hamsters?!?!?!

(you don't need to be perfect... just a good enough energizer bunnies that keeps going and going and going... most of the time!)

lauriekallis

PAV8888 wrote: »

(you don't need to be perfect... just a good enough energizer bunnies that keeps going and going and going... most of the time!)

Love this. The idea might help nip a run of bad eating in the bud.

DFW_Tom

conniewilkins56 wrote: »

I am a little OCD and I think about dieting and food 24/7…. I think for myself I need to relax a little and do this one day at a time….I need to make my good habits seem more natural and make them a part of my every day lifestyle…I have to be aware and diligent about what I am eating but I can’t let it consume every living moment of my life….I need to be the one in control and not let the food boss me around!

Does this make any sense?…lol

Makes a lot of sense.
It has never worked for me to restrict serving size, types of food, or to have an exercise schedule. Too easy to come up with an excuse that would get me off track and go right back to living the old lifestyle. When I decided to change my life in the way I take care of myself, much time was spent researching and listening to others. The education was both needed and well worth the time spent. I now look at sugar as a poison. Bread as just another form of sugar. Other carbs as less potent sugars that can cause my system to go crazy with cravings. Much time has been spent finding out exactly what I can eat that will satisfy and what I need to stay away from. I still track my macros because I am still educating myself, but hope to transition to just eating what is right for me and not think about it.

Because I have a low resting heart rate (mid 40's), I need to stress it a bit several times a week. Just moving around, running up and down the stairs when I have a few minutes helps. I've no interest in exercise per say, but I need to "use it or lose it" as the saying goes. I really don't want a pacemaker, so the increased movement, walks, swimming needs to be just something I do naturally - right along with watching the carbs and generally being mindful of what I eat. It is not a chore and I feel better for it.

BTW, this has been an excellent thread.

Yoolypr

Each one of us needs to discover what will work. For some it’s low carb, increasing veggies, low fat or high fiber. For me it was just simply strict portion control and increased activity.

lauriekallis

DFW_Tom wrote: »

[...Because I have a low resting heart rate (mid 40's)...

Curious - is this simply the way it is - or is it an issue? I've gone through phases of my resting heart rate being in the 40s - and I'm no athlete...not concerned enough to seek medical assistance, but this caught my eye.

PAV8888

Sometimes it's just a significant caloric restriction that can do that.

DFW_Tom

lauriekallis wrote: »

DFW_Tom wrote: »

[...Because I have a low resting heart rate (mid 40's)...

Curious - is this simply the way it is - or is it an issue? I've gone through phases of my resting heart rate being in the 40s - and I'm no athlete...not concerned enough to seek medical assistance, but this caught my eye.

Simple answer is that I don't know. I don't feel any different at rest than I do when I'm moving, doing things. I had never really check it at rest until this year when I started monitoring blood pressure at home several times a day (got a BP monitor for Christmas)

. My suspicion is that it is low now, along with BP, after light/moderate activity because I am so terribly out of shape.

PAV8888 is probably right that my calorie deficit (25% under maintenance) over the last few months might also have something to do with it temporarily. I'm not trying to cut calories. It has been a result of changes in what I eat not leaving me hungry most of the time. I figure I carry around more than enough extra fat to meet my energy needs so don't worry about it.

lauriekallis

DFW_Tom wrote: »

... My suspicion is that it is low now, along with BP, after light/moderate activity because I am so terribly out of shape.

I'm not sure about BP - but resting heart rate is usually much higher in those out of shape - and lower (like in the 40s) in very well trained athletes. If yours stays there for very long it might be worth checking in with a doctor? I discovered mine was low when I quit smoking and took part in a survey that required daily resting heart rate numbers. It stayed low for awhile, but now rarely drops below 50. When it does - I'm usually having an "exhausted" feeling kind of day.

DFW_Tom

lauriekallis, finished the last of the scheduled test at the cardiologist this morning. They had me wear a heart monitor the first week of May. I made sure to let him know what lifestyle changes I have been trying to make since the first of the year. He was good with it. I'll see what he has to say after the stress, echo and carotid test results come back.

conniewilkins56

Those are the same tests I am having in a few weeks to see how bad my blockage is!

Yoolypr

Dinner out with friends last evening when this topic came up yet again. First the compliments on maintaining my weight loss. So okay - thank you?

Then the questions. “You’re still dieting?” “You aren’t DONE with that?” “Can’t you just order a regular meal rather than lower cal?”
The explanation than I am not dieting but that this is how I prefer to eat. Yes I think more carefully about eating but I am denying myself nothing I truly want. No, I don’t want the cheese bomb enchilada or chunk of cheesecake.

I can’t resume my past indulgences and eating patterns without also resuming being less healthy. So why do most people just assume it’s a temporary fix?